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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

My "Beulah" Story

I hope this post doesn't tank as my FIRST EVER product review post about the "Extra" brand gum's new line of Dessert Delights flavored chewing gum has.

My friend Narragansett No. 7 has been having some troubles as of late with the nosy ninny crowd and has written a few "Beulah's" that she has sadly had run in to. To find out the true meaning of what a "Beulah" is, just mosey on over to her post that DEFINES the now famous (or is that 'infamous'?) name.

Here is my (most recent) 'Beulah' story.

This past weekend, my husband and I had taken our three, plus a kiddy-cousin out to eat at Golden Corral Buffet. *Don't get too jealous now!* After that HUGE dinner of seafood, salad and desserts galore, Scotty and I thought it would be best to walk off the excess indulgence by taking a stroll around our Super WalMart.

As usual we first (with three girls and a grown lady) go within the confines of nail polish and other make-up areas where I let each of the girls buy a polish and a lipstick (in a NATURAL shade of MY choosing). Then it was off to Lawn and Garden, Home Decor and the dreaded Sporting Goods. You can tell that we had the guys with us who hurriedly made a beeline for the L&G Department, but took their sweet time in the "guy aisles" of the store as to make us ladies suffer.

Then the aisle of Satan's torture loomed upon myself and my husband.

The Toy Department.

At one point it was just me and the girls as the boys looked at Hot Wheels for Bryce. We ended up in the narrow main aisle area of the department where Beulah came entering like a gush of wind.

I never saw the old hag coming from behind. Remember I am partially blind in my left eye, and this is where Beulah was. My three girls were in the skinny aisle with me. Before I could really do anything to get the girls to move to the side (mainly my youngest who is six, but can easily pass for the size of a four year old) Beulah was charging at us with all she had along with her shopping cart.

She proceeded to mow down my child before my very eyes! I said "Skyler get out the lady's way before she runs you ALL THE WAY down" loud enough that I knew the old bitch heard me. She even proceeded to take MY ARM with her, that was attached to the hand basket I was carrying.

She SAW my kid in her path and LOOKED in her eyes as she was in the process of HITTING her. I almost pulled Skyler's arm out of her socket as I struggled with my "bad arm" (I'm a lefty) to get her from harm's way.

After the hit and run with Beulah, we proceeded on as to find the hubby and son duo who seemed to vanish. We found them at the BACK of the Toys area. I had not said a thing about the incident...yet.

But there was Beulah in the aisle with babies and baby doll goodies. Just standing there, snobbish as she could be. If the kids got in the way (including Bryce at this point), I made sure to tell them in a loud enough voice to get out of the OLD lady's way as to not have her hit one of them AGAIN.

I know for a fact Beulah heard me. And I cut my eye at her every chance I got. And anytime I referenced the old hag, I made damn sure the bitch heard me. She's ultra lucky my GOOD arm was attached to the hand basket (that she almost used to rip MY arm out of my socket, seeing as she proceeded to run me down as well, sandwiching me between her cart and an end-cap display). Because if my left arm was freed up, you can bet two to one, my fist would have been meeting Beulah's jawline.


Anonymous said...

Two things... 1. you need to avoid WalMart at all costs. WalMart is teeming with rude, angry Beulahs. Angry Beulahs are the worst kind. 2. Maybe you need to borrow my children to clear the aisles and/or teach your own to use foul language when in the presence of an angry Beulah.
Oh, and one more thing..thanks for the shout out!!

Slidecutter said...

Sorry, but I could not have remained as calm; definitely might have decked that bitch for getting a n y w h e r e close to my child and most certainly would have called store security and reported her as physically-endangering customers.

Old age and Wal-Mart aren't excuses for ignorance.

Boy, this story royally pisses me off and I was in such a good mood.

Not really....:((((

Sending you some virtual Beulah-punches to use, lol


pr0udmom0f3 said...

Believe me Patty, if my dominant arm wasn't about to be ripped off by Beulah's cart (taking my hand basket with her and my arm), my ass WOULD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED...for decking the old, snobby bitch right the hell out on the floor.

Plus as she was pulling ME along, I was trying my best AT THE SAME TIME to get Skyler out from going UNDER the hag's cart as she proceeded to run over my kid with my freed arm.

Diana said...

Oh yes I have run into these types before, they think they own the store and don't care about children at all.
What really gets my goat, if I had one, is the fact that while I have to use a wheelchair, the sheer lack of consideration from people. It's true. Try using a wheelchair in the store and people treat you like crap. I would say that ninety percent of the walking public are rude and will not give you a break at all. It's very sad.
Love Di ♥

Elena (Running in Heels After Child) said...

Yet another reason to avoid Walmart.

Every time I find myself in Walmart, something happens that serves as a reminder that I should shop at Target instead.



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