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Thursday, January 7, 2010

I refuse to "save" my children from every little thing that life throws at them!

Just a while ago, my oldest daughter, Hayley had called me from school. As soon as I see the school's number pop up, I think Bryce is having a bad day or someone is sick.

Turns out that Hayley had "forgotten to bring her homework back to school". Social Studies to be exact. I then looked all over the house for the work she claimed she didn't have as she stayed on the phone with me.

All the while I let her know that she needs to be more responsible for HER work. Not just in doing it, but of also making sure that it is where it belongs after completion so she can take it back to school and properly turn it in.

This is going to sound harsh, maybe even a bit mean, but I do NOT "save" my children when it comes to school work that they have forgotten.

If I do, it's only ONE TIME during the whole school year. And the older two know of this. They know that I flat out refuse to help them when they are old enough to be responsible individuals for their own school things. Be it homework, pencils that should be in their case and in their bags and their text books.

What would happen if I ran down to the school and handed them their forgotten homework every time that they misplaced it, and not having it to hand to their teacher?

What lessons would come from this? Nothing but that mom will always be there to get them out of a jam.

WRONG! My children WILL learn self-reliance, responsibility for their actions and their belongings, and gain better self-esteem.

The only way to do that is to let life it's self teach them. And that means suffering consequences for their actions. Including forgetting their homework.

I'm not a "helicopter mom" type. Never have been, and never plan to be. I'm not one to stand over them every second, take them to the doctor for every little sniffle, or make them eat every scrap of food on their plate.

Sure, I will make sure that their education is up to par, that they eat MOST of their food, and take them to the doctor when all other remedies have failed to cure whatever they have.

But they also need to learn things that I obviously cannot teach them myself. They will have to learn certain things on their own as life for them goes on. What better teacher do we have then ourselves?


Unknown said...

Im not a helicopter mom either and it drives my mom crazy lol

Michael said...

I have to tell ya, my mom used to bring me homework sometimes, although not often at all, just as you said, once a year maybe... I have to tell you though, as much as she bailed me out I get told I am responsible by a lot of people.... it doesn't hurt them if you help them as long as they know that they are learning responsibility. God granted parents the grace to be parents and the responsibility to teach and raise children.

Timberwolf123 said...

Good for you Melissa!! I applaud you trying to help them learn. I think to often these days we run to our children's defense & bail them out or blame the school for the childs mistake.

They will learn much more by understanding consequences themselves & becoming more responsible.

Thanks for sharing,



Arabella said...

I raised my daughter this same way and at 25 she is indepenent, responsible and so glad that I stuck to my guns about not doing everything for her.

Thanks for sharing your life with others...sometimes not easy, however very beneficial to others that need assistance in raising their children or running their lives. You seem to really have it together and are a great influence to others.

Marie Rhoades

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