Sometimes it takes great difficulty to smile. Sure, it takes a less number of facial muscles to smile, than to frown. But there are days that you just really don't want to smile.
There are times in my life that have had to just "grin and bear it". Then there have been times where I use smiling and laughter to "kill the pain". And there have been times that no matter how someone has tried, they just cannot for the life of them, make me smile, being that my inner pain was too great.
After learning several years ago that Bryce indeed had mental problems that I fought hard to get recognized and dealt with, I had to do SOMETHING to ease the stress, anguish and even the bitterness that laid within myself.
So, I took it upon myself to commit to smiling and laughing at least once for every time my heart broke due to the horrid "mental diseases" that took my happy boy from me.
Today, I am still committed to doing so. Although sometimes, I admit, I do falter. After all, I am still human, ya know!
Especially in the last few months. It's almost four months now since my Corneal Transplant was done. And there have been some problems associated with my new "window". But for the most part, I've been doing unexpectedly well for this time table.
Now, I am fighting off early signs of rejection. We knew that although slight, it was a possibility. And it happened. Sure! I was mad. I was angry at myself (internally). I cried A LOT on Saturday.
But now, I am choosing to smile. I am choosing to look POSITIVELY at my plight...and the fight that lay ahead. I still have a decent sized road ahead of me. And I have all the backup I'm needing. My faith, my family, my friends who have been so supportive and my doctor who has fought along side me the whole step of the way.
So, no matter how bad your road is filled with snapped off tree limbs, rocks and pebbles, smile as you walk past each of them. Because in the end, you WILL get to your final destination...smiling.