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Monday, September 27, 2010

So Many Thoughts Come to Mind...Ponderings On a Rainy Day.

In one month and two days from today, it will be a milestone. And a lot of different meanings.

For one, my childhood friend, Lisa's birthday is on October 29th. We just recently reconnected, thanks to FaceBook, after almost 25 years of dropping off the earth to one another. Then, soon followed by her three sisters, Neva, Dana and Rena.

Then, add in the fact that it will be 21 years since my mother's passing. Over the years it has gotten much better to take in and deal with. I know she will always be with me in my heart and in my memories (what few I have left of her and our time together).

The biggest milestone to come on October 29th though is...

It will be my one-year anniversary since my Cornea Transplant. While I'm happy to have the sight that I DO have in it now, compared to before the surgery (and the fact that I have a cornea), it will also be a day of mourning.

Yes, we recipients DO mourn the passing of those which have given us our second chances. We never (in most cases) were able to meet them in life. And a rare few of us get to meet the families that are mourning the loss of their loved one that donated to us. But we are very thankful and grateful, none the less. And it hurts us to know that another family is out there, somewhere, hurting and are not able to have the time with their family any longer, as we recipients share in the joys, trials and tribulations of our families.

It's on days like this, where it's damp, chilly and rainy, that I sit and wonder. What if my mother were still alive? How would she have felt of my moving across to the other side of the states? How would she think of my husband? What nicknames would she have given her grandchildren?...Would I have still had that stupid trache until I turned 18?

I also wonder who my donor was. What is their gender? How old were they? What were their likes and dislikes? Was their family life filled with love and laughter?

So many thoughts to ponder as I sit here, sipping my coffee and listening to the stillness of the house, as the rain beats down and the cars are passing by on slick roads.

3 comments:

singedwingangel said...

What is it about rainy days that lead us to become introspective.. I got that way yesterday at the funeral taking pictures.. how much people look like another generation and how scary it is.. and comfrting at that same time

pr0udmom0f3 said...

I can say for certain, I look VERY much like both my father and his dad. But I look NOTHING like my mom or her father. Creepy!

Rainy days are certainly 'reflection' days, it seems. We move at a slower pace. And our minds it seems, has more of a chance of meandering around the thoughts that we normally push to the back in to the "forget for now" files.

Dave said...

Rainy days don't necessarily make me reflect.

But on the rare occasion that my wife goes to bed before me on a weekend night, and I sit here at the computer...

*Those* are the times that I get introspective.

And I usually get a blog post or something out of them too. :)

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