So Many Thoughts Come to Mind...Ponderings On a Rainy Day.

In one month and two days from today, it will be a milestone. And a lot of different meanings.

For one, my childhood friend, Lisa's birthday is on October 29th. We just recently reconnected, thanks to FaceBook, after almost 25 years of dropping off the earth to one another. Then, soon followed by her three sisters, Neva, Dana and Rena.

Then, add in the fact that it will be 21 years since my mother's passing. Over the years it has gotten much better to take in and deal with. I know she will always be with me in my heart and in my memories (what few I have left of her and our time together).

The biggest milestone to come on October 29th though is...

It will be my one-year anniversary since my Cornea Transplant. While I'm happy to have the sight that I DO have in it now, compared to before the surgery (and the fact that I have a cornea), it will also be a day of mourning.

Yes, we recipients DO mourn the passing of those which have given us our second chances. We never (in most cases) were able to meet them in life. And a rare few of us get to meet the families that are mourning the loss of their loved one that donated to us. But we are very thankful and grateful, none the less. And it hurts us to know that another family is out there, somewhere, hurting and are not able to have the time with their family any longer, as we recipients share in the joys, trials and tribulations of our families.

It's on days like this, where it's damp, chilly and rainy, that I sit and wonder. What if my mother were still alive? How would she have felt of my moving across to the other side of the states? How would she think of my husband? What nicknames would she have given her grandchildren?...Would I have still had that stupid trache until I turned 18?

I also wonder who my donor was. What is their gender? How old were they? What were their likes and dislikes? Was their family life filled with love and laughter?

So many thoughts to ponder as I sit here, sipping my coffee and listening to the stillness of the house, as the rain beats down and the cars are passing by on slick roads.

What I Meant To Say Wednesday (1st try)

What I said on Facebook : Melissa Thomas Cowart is ready to go to the Funny Farm now. I'm so freaking SICK of this 'closed" junk when all the LCS system had to do was DELAY one or two hours. There is honestly NO excuse for making these kids stay home AGAIN. This is making almost 2 weeks STRAIGHT of no school. Monday was an exception. They actually WENT after an hour delay.

What I MEANT to say : You sorry SOB's are once again making us parents go frigging insane with once again NEEDLESSLY closing school. Ever hear of f'ing ONE/TWO HOUR delays to let the ice on the road melt?! HELLO! Cars are whizzing by my home as if NOTHING is out there. And I'm a 5 min. walk to one of the said schools you idiots. 




What I said to the kids this morning : 'How many times will I need to repeat about jumping on my couch, which you know is NOT allowed?'


What I MEANT to say : Damn it all! Why don't you sit the hell down, shut the hell up and Hayley, bring me a beer? I swear, these two weeks of living hell have taken its toll. I'm about to ship you off to a damn boot camp for kids. Who wants to screw with Mama some more? Now STOP....JUMPING....ON...THE....DAMN....F-U-R-N-I-T-U-R-E!!!!!!


What I said to my husband this morning on the phone when he asked about school : "What do you think? Of course they are out AGAIN from school. I got the call (again) at almost 6 this morning.


What I MEANT to say : Are you stupid or something? Did you eat it for breakfast there at work? Of course they are CLOSED. Why else would my voice sound like I'm in a "puhleeeeeez help me" tone. Especially knowing our 4 year old nephew must come and bring more joyous hell to my home and drive me f'ing insane for the next 6 hours of my life.


What I said on FaceBook in response to something from a friend's post where another of her friends went after me :  *****, forgive me if I'm wrong, but who is to say I don't know what I'm talking about? Do you know me or my life? I'm pretty sure not. I made no reference either to any specific person. Are you guilty of which I speak above? Because you seem mighty defensive.

What I MEANT to say : For a Preacher's wife, you are the most egotistical, self-centered, uncompassionate BITCH I ever have had the displeasure to run in to. How DARE you tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. You know NOTHING of me you two-bit excuse for a Christian. If you knew ANY of what my life had been or is like, you would have been smart to just keep your fat-ass trap shut and go on somewhere.

Snow, school & sickness. What a combo!

It's been a ride, that's for sure.

My youngest, Skyler has been home since last Thursday, due to a severe Chest Cold. Then, on Friday, in came a nasty snow storm. That dumped about fourteen inches around our city. Some areas, mainly south of us got even more.

My oldest, Hayley was with her father for her visitation weekend. She called and let me know she was outside although she had been SICK! So I got on her for that and for not listening. Who knew? My ex-husband actually was being a parent for a change and putting his foot down. Only for her to do as he said NOT to anyways. That was going outside. So, we both jumped her for it.

Man, then along comes the Stomach Flu in to my home. And who did it strike? You guessed it. Kinda. It got a hold of me, as well as Scott. My poor husband came in at 5:30 in the morning, after working his last 3rd shift after two weeks of doing so. He was visibly shaking and had the severe chills. Plus the all-out fun diarrhea. Mine was mainly problems with vomiting.

Oh, and one of my kitties, Stinky is in the Animal Hospital. He has a Blocked Urinary Tract. I thought he got hit by a car or drank Antifreeze. He was so sick, I was ready to put him down. But then the doctor realized what was wrong and saved his life. Today, Stinky is still in the hospital with a catheter to drain his bladder. But he is moving around, eating and drinking well. He may even come home in the next couple of days.

Like I said, fun times!

Today, the kids are once again home, due to icy road conditions. My husband is at work this morning, back on day shift. And we are looking at another big system of snow and sleet to come back to our area on Friday. So, I'm hoping and praying that the kids get to go to school for at least ONE day this week. That would be tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. I love spending time with them. And I love that we can all be together as a family. But they REALLY need to be in school. For their sake. And for mine. The City School System could have made it a two-hour delay, instead of no school at all. People are on the road this morning in full force. And no one seems to be having problems at this time...And it will be even better on the roads in an hour or two.

Sometimes, I wonder if the head-hanchos at Home Office do this as to just get more time off. I feel bad for the homes of children that have a 2-parent home where BOTH parents work to make ends meet. And those of single-parent homes. Both types of family dynamics cannot afford to stay home due to the kids being out of school for so long. Or to add extra days of having to pay the babysitter.

I'm one of the lucky ones in this respect. We are a one-income-provider family. I'm a Stay-At-Home Mom/Homemaker. My husband is the sole "bread winner" of the family. But, believe me when I say that all this "kids are staying home AGAIN due to weather conditions" is taking a mental-toll on me. They need to be with their friends in a classroom. The arguing, fighting, constant messiness and the dreaded all-day long "I'm hungry/thirsty" has GOT TO stop.

Soon I will be kicking them out the house and back on to the school bus before I know it. It just seems like it's so far away. *sigh*

This is one of the reasons I hate Retail Life!

As a former Retail Sales Clerk myself, I understand. Businesses are set to making money. And grocery stores will never become a "thing of the past", being that we as humans, must eat. But to eat, we must spend our hard earned money to buy the food.

There is currently a massive snowstorm hitting us, the Carolinas and most of the Mid-Atlantic. So far, there is a minimum of about fourteen inches on the ground, that started to fall last night. It won't end until sometime this afternoon.

What is just deplorable and shocking to me, is that ANY AND ALL grocery stores in my area are still opening, forcing their employees, such as my husband to drive in this stuff. Yes, the shelves need restocking. But can the managers not close the doors for one freaking damn day so that their employees don't have to risk life and limb to get to their job, where most likely, business will be at a stand still?

Nope, they certainly cannot! How dare the store managers actually think about their employees instead of lining their pockets with salary wages!! After all, the making of a potentially fast buck is always better than making sure that your employees are safe and sound.

This is one of the reasons I decided to be a Homemaker. I knew that they would want to jeopardize my safety, and the safety of my children to have me come to work in these kinds of weather conditions.