PYHO... Mommy Wars

*Please remember, for some of us, this is the only place to be able to vent in a safe way, as to avoid the unneeded negativity that may already be occurring in our lives. In other words, if you have nothing constructive, and uninsulting to say, please refrain or move on. Or else, I let Angel come at you with one of her flaming vlogs.*

Yesterday morning, over on my FaceBook profile, I put a little lighthearted post up about this being the last two weeks of school. My exact words were...

"All the kids are off to school and here I sit, sipping my second cup of coffee. Best enjoy it while I can. In two weeks, the peace will NOT be with me. For 2 months."

In a nutshell, I meant no malice. I was not whining (as a friend had stated on behalf of her sister) and yes, indeed KNOW that I am VERY fortunate to be home with my kids.

But it wasn't always this way. I have also been a working mother as well in my time. And I missed some important areas of growth in two of my children because of it. When my third (and last) came along, I quit my job because honestly, there was no way, even with BOTH of our incomes, could afford full and part time child care for THREE kids. So I left and never went back in to the workforce.

ALL of us mothers (and fathers) work hard. Both inside and outside of the home. Only real difference is that some mothers get to earn monetary income, as well as have the house duties (and parental duties). And some of us don't earn more than kisses or hugs, which in my mind trumps all the monetary pay in the world.

"I would say you are pretty lucky!"...Yes, I am. But also, I didn't post what I did as to gain sympathy or bragging rights.

Is this what posting anything in the way of parenting has come to? Picking a war over a joke? Hell, I even made it in to a "Yoda-ism" near the end.

I'm NO better in the parenting department, being a mother who stays home, than the working girl next door with a kid or two. We both have the same job description where being a parent is concerned. Love, nurture and support our kids.

But believe me when I say, staying home 24/7 is no real picnic either. I would LOVE to be able to once again earn money from a day's work. I would love to have ADULT interactions outside of my home and the school setting (where I volunteer).

Then again, my line of work to go back to would NOT allow me the schedule I would need. Not in the retail life. It's not a "9 to 5" environment with every weekend off. And you can never really plan anything around your schedule, because that ALWAYS is changing.

Basically, there are pros and cons in BOTH areas of being a parent who works and who stays home. I may JOKE about the fact that Summertime will bring me little to no peace (which is VERY true), I will STILL enjoy the time I will have with my kids being home.

Like another mommy-friend said to me last night, "If your children don't annoy you at least once a week, you aren't around them enough". So true there! And believe me, I'm around mine enough, that the gray hairs just keep piling on my head. But I don't love, nor do I not want to be with them any less.

That FB post meant that I am being HUMAN, as well as realistic of what's to come with Summer break looming.

Just because I am a mother, it does NOT mean I have to "enjoy" having NO peacefulness or "me time" to take time for ME, and instead place myself last.

Which I do anyways.

Mean Girls...The realities from someone that's been there.

Mean girls. They have been show-cased in movies, in music and in the news. I've personally had experience with the real deal. Primarily in the Elementary School years. Being that I looked "different" from the other children, I was an outcast.

The girls mainly were the ones to degrade me. Not just in their words, but their actions as well. Often as a girl, I wondered what kind of "kicks" the kids got out of teasing and degrading me. What was with their pointless jokes on my behalf? To this day, I still at times have these questions pop in to my head.

Do bullies, especially the girls, really know what life-long affects take place when they pull their heartless pranks, say their cruel words and make their mark in the "Mean Girls" history book?

Thanks to their cruelty from long ago, I still have self-esteem issues. I often think of myself as not pretty and not worthy of love and affection by a man. Yes, I have a husband. One that loves me and sees me as beautiful. But personally, I cannot see what he sees.

All I still see to this day is a girl that has scars from one end of her body, to the other. I see where I once had a feeding tube from my diaphragm, in to my stomach. I see where the tracheostomy was performed and the trache was the symbol of my survival, as well as my ability to BREATH. I see the pitted area under my right arm where I had a chest tube placed to drain all the collective fluid from my right lung after it collapsed. I see the uneven breasts and the scar leading from under my right arm, leading up just past my right shoulder blade, where they re-inflated my lung, as well as reattached my esophagus, where it was detached (birth defect).

And to this day, I have lasting psychological and emotional side effects not only from having done what was needed to ensure my survival, but from the scars left behind from YEARS of torture from those that never truly understood, let alone took the time to TRY and understand or learn why I looked "different".

Mean girls have gotten to the point with their bullying in this cyber-age, where their violence towards other girls has taken such a toll on its intended victim, that those being teased, taunted and humiliated are TAKING THEIR LIVES.

Is it honestly worth a life to ridicule and demoralize another human being just to get "kicks" from someone else's imperfections? To me, no it certainly is NOT!

If only some of these "mean girls" could have the tables turned on them. Not that I would EVER wish ill-will on another human being. But how would they feel if something was to happen to them and they were disfigured? Be it from a car accident or a fall? Or from some other disfiguring and/or life-altering situation? Maybe they were placed on medication that made them gain weight, or it was caused by a medical condition.

Once their "perfection" is changed in to "imperfection", then they start having friends "dropping" them from their inner circle, or "cliques". Then, the stares and whispers begin. And of course with them not knowing the FULL story behind the changes, the rumor mill starts churning. As do the assumptions.

Finally, the heckling, physical picking and pranks begin.

Finally, that FORMER "mean girl" is getting to experience the reality of what she used to do at one time in her life. Now, instead of the huntress, she is the prey.

Try being in my shoes, or the "former mean girl's" shoes. If only more "mean girls" could experience what myself and MILLIONS of other girls of the past have had to endure. Not by choice, but by force.

Do I blame the parents? In MOST cases, YES! Especially in this day and age. Parents should be an EXAMPLE, as well as the greatest teacher when it comes to children having compassion and empathy for their peers.

Then again, parents can teach these kids all the good values of compassion, respect, empathy and love to their children, and those kids go out in to the world and make poor choices. Their greatest weapon of choice? The internet.

Cyber-bullying, especially among teen girls is at an all-time high. As are the suicide rates due to cyber-bullying. It is so easy to create a profile, "friend" your target and play with their minds and emotions. All the while, as you are "friending" the target, you are talking negatively behind the target's back.

After a while, there will be a whistle blower to throw it all in the target's face to show how "stupid" and gullible the victim has been. Once the victim sees what is REALLY thought about her, then the self-esteem issues, the emotional issues and the mental issues come in and destroy its target.

Please, teach your children to have compassion. Teach them that NO MATTER WHAT, the person that "looks" different (in ANY form!) is still a human being with feelings. Let your children know that it could very easily be them on the other end. Let them know that their actions indeed do speak louder than words. And words used in the wrong way, can and DOES hurt. No matter if they are said behind the person's back, to their face, or on a computer screen.

The House of Pain

Yep, I'm indeed believing that I made it in to hell. And it's painful.

No! Not the fire and brimstone kind. The "OUCH!! Man this hurts like hell!" kind. Stupid TMJ jaw problem. It locked and popped yesterday evening as my family and I were eating dinner. My husband thought that it was my SHOULDER that popped. When I told him that my jaw was the culprit, I thought he was going to need the Heimlich Maneuver performed.

Even the kids had their jaws drop. Luckily no food or drink was in them. Yes, it was seafood night at Golden Corral. But I don't like SEE-food.

Not long after that, my bad molar tooth started to act up. Needless to say, my jaw and my tooth have decided to tag-team and make my life miserable.

Now, I have been forced to down Advil, topped off with Percocet every six hours. Being that Scott is working and I'm with the kids on my own, I'm only taking half a Percocet, along with two Advil pills. For the most part, I get a bit tipsy, as if I had one too many beers. I might slur my words a little and feel sluggish and giggly. But I don't pass out and am still alert enough to keep an eye on the kids. And at times, depending on how in-to my system the drug is in my body, I tend to misspell as I type...A LOT!

So, they (only two of them are home, oldest is with her father for the weekend) have been (for the most part) quietly watching TV and just chilling out for the day. Later, when it is once again time (six hours from now), and being my husband, Scott will be home, I can FINALLY take a whole Percocet. Then, I will be the fool.

After taking a whole Percocet pill, I end up stupid (as in plastered-like drunk), can't talk, wobbly to the point of almost falling down, burst out laughing at EVERYTHING and then I pass out cold for several hours in a painless (YAY!!) haze.

Well, I better stop typing at this point. I only have about another twenty minutes before this current dose kicks in to high gear. Talk to you all later. I hope I am not needing a dentist to pull my stupid tooth. I really can't afford it at this time. So it had just better be my TMJ giving my tooth (and my sanity) a bunch of grief.

What I Meant To Say Wednesday (1st try)

What I said on Facebook : Melissa Thomas Cowart is ready to go to the Funny Farm now. I'm so freaking SICK of this 'closed" junk when all the LCS system had to do was DELAY one or two hours. There is honestly NO excuse for making these kids stay home AGAIN. This is making almost 2 weeks STRAIGHT of no school. Monday was an exception. They actually WENT after an hour delay.

What I MEANT to say : You sorry SOB's are once again making us parents go frigging insane with once again NEEDLESSLY closing school. Ever hear of f'ing ONE/TWO HOUR delays to let the ice on the road melt?! HELLO! Cars are whizzing by my home as if NOTHING is out there. And I'm a 5 min. walk to one of the said schools you idiots. 




What I said to the kids this morning : 'How many times will I need to repeat about jumping on my couch, which you know is NOT allowed?'


What I MEANT to say : Damn it all! Why don't you sit the hell down, shut the hell up and Hayley, bring me a beer? I swear, these two weeks of living hell have taken its toll. I'm about to ship you off to a damn boot camp for kids. Who wants to screw with Mama some more? Now STOP....JUMPING....ON...THE....DAMN....F-U-R-N-I-T-U-R-E!!!!!!


What I said to my husband this morning on the phone when he asked about school : "What do you think? Of course they are out AGAIN from school. I got the call (again) at almost 6 this morning.


What I MEANT to say : Are you stupid or something? Did you eat it for breakfast there at work? Of course they are CLOSED. Why else would my voice sound like I'm in a "puhleeeeeez help me" tone. Especially knowing our 4 year old nephew must come and bring more joyous hell to my home and drive me f'ing insane for the next 6 hours of my life.


What I said on FaceBook in response to something from a friend's post where another of her friends went after me :  *****, forgive me if I'm wrong, but who is to say I don't know what I'm talking about? Do you know me or my life? I'm pretty sure not. I made no reference either to any specific person. Are you guilty of which I speak above? Because you seem mighty defensive.

What I MEANT to say : For a Preacher's wife, you are the most egotistical, self-centered, uncompassionate BITCH I ever have had the displeasure to run in to. How DARE you tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. You know NOTHING of me you two-bit excuse for a Christian. If you knew ANY of what my life had been or is like, you would have been smart to just keep your fat-ass trap shut and go on somewhere.