PYHO... Mommy Wars

*Please remember, for some of us, this is the only place to be able to vent in a safe way, as to avoid the unneeded negativity that may already be occurring in our lives. In other words, if you have nothing constructive, and uninsulting to say, please refrain or move on. Or else, I let Angel come at you with one of her flaming vlogs.*

Yesterday morning, over on my FaceBook profile, I put a little lighthearted post up about this being the last two weeks of school. My exact words were...

"All the kids are off to school and here I sit, sipping my second cup of coffee. Best enjoy it while I can. In two weeks, the peace will NOT be with me. For 2 months."

In a nutshell, I meant no malice. I was not whining (as a friend had stated on behalf of her sister) and yes, indeed KNOW that I am VERY fortunate to be home with my kids.

But it wasn't always this way. I have also been a working mother as well in my time. And I missed some important areas of growth in two of my children because of it. When my third (and last) came along, I quit my job because honestly, there was no way, even with BOTH of our incomes, could afford full and part time child care for THREE kids. So I left and never went back in to the workforce.

ALL of us mothers (and fathers) work hard. Both inside and outside of the home. Only real difference is that some mothers get to earn monetary income, as well as have the house duties (and parental duties). And some of us don't earn more than kisses or hugs, which in my mind trumps all the monetary pay in the world.

"I would say you are pretty lucky!"...Yes, I am. But also, I didn't post what I did as to gain sympathy or bragging rights.

Is this what posting anything in the way of parenting has come to? Picking a war over a joke? Hell, I even made it in to a "Yoda-ism" near the end.

I'm NO better in the parenting department, being a mother who stays home, than the working girl next door with a kid or two. We both have the same job description where being a parent is concerned. Love, nurture and support our kids.

But believe me when I say, staying home 24/7 is no real picnic either. I would LOVE to be able to once again earn money from a day's work. I would love to have ADULT interactions outside of my home and the school setting (where I volunteer).

Then again, my line of work to go back to would NOT allow me the schedule I would need. Not in the retail life. It's not a "9 to 5" environment with every weekend off. And you can never really plan anything around your schedule, because that ALWAYS is changing.

Basically, there are pros and cons in BOTH areas of being a parent who works and who stays home. I may JOKE about the fact that Summertime will bring me little to no peace (which is VERY true), I will STILL enjoy the time I will have with my kids being home.

Like another mommy-friend said to me last night, "If your children don't annoy you at least once a week, you aren't around them enough". So true there! And believe me, I'm around mine enough, that the gray hairs just keep piling on my head. But I don't love, nor do I not want to be with them any less.

That FB post meant that I am being HUMAN, as well as realistic of what's to come with Summer break looming.

Just because I am a mother, it does NOT mean I have to "enjoy" having NO peacefulness or "me time" to take time for ME, and instead place myself last.

Which I do anyways.

It Was A 'Pay It Forward' kind of evening

They say that Angels walk among us. They are hidden within society, not showing their wings, as to blend in. They show mercy, love and kindness. Some are our Guardian Angels, sent here to be with us, help guide us and to protect us.

I truly believe we have met an "Angel in Disguise"...

Last night, hubby and I decided to take the kids out for dinner. He was in the mood for Wendy's (seeing as what he is REALLY in the mood for, he can't have at the moment, so something else HAS TO take its place).

After a good, long wait, being that for some reason, the place was packed and the line long (on a SUNDAY night), we finally made it up to the counter to give the Cashier our order.

Between the meal combos and the Frosties (can't leave without having a Frosty!)the bill racked up to almost forty dollars (within a few cents!).

Scott whipped out the trusty Check Card and proceeded to hand it to the lady behind the counter, only to be told to put his card back in to his wallet.

After giving the woman a puzzled look, she said "someone already paid for your order" and then secretively-like told Scott it was the "lady ahead of you in the pink shirt".

By that time, I'd already sat the kids down at a table. He came to me and explained all that transpired and I was just flabbergasted, to say the least. So, as the "Lady In Pink" was sitting at a booth, awaiting her order, I sauntered over and thanked her for her sincere kindness.

Being that my poor cell phone was about to die, I had enough umph in it to post a text to my FaceBook about it. When I got home, I was surprised at how many "liked" or replied to my post. Especially those that were shocked that there are still people out there that love others enough, even strangers, to do "random acts of kindness".

But like I later stated on another Status I had done, the kindness of strangers still amazes me, but doesn't truly surprise me. I know that they are still out there, though in now a rare breed.

And like I said, blessed are the meek. This woman and her generous heart had taught my children something that no school, nor even I as a parent talking about it could ever teach them. They witnessed what I have told them about "love thy neighbor and do unto others as you wish to have done unto you".

They know (well, at least the two older ones do) that eventually, and as a family mind you, we intend to "pay it forward" to a fellow stranger. Be it at a restaurant, at the gas station or even the grocery store.

And after what I'd been witness to and on the receiving end of, it took me back to the movie starring Haley Joel Osment, Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt aptly named "Pay It Forward", where a teacher who is scarred from a fire has his class do a project of doing a good deed for someone, then in turn that person does a good deed for another. Then that person goes and also does a good deed, and so on. The stipulation? The receiver MUST follow through and "pay it forward" with an act of kindness towards another. Be it a stranger or a friend or family member.

With that all said, I *CHALLENGE* all of my readers who are reading this post to go out and "PAY IT FORWARD". And it does NOT have to be with buying something or paying for something for another person. Just as long as it's a random act of kindness.

"I ♥ Being White"

I'm a fan of many upon many "Like" pages. In fact, almost (now) 650 of them. Yeah, I like A LOT of different things. I'm pretty well-rounded, to say the least.

One thing that I am *not* is racist. I love people and am friends with (or have family members of) all different colors and ethnic backgrounds. Primarily Black Americans.

Over on FaceBook, under the "Discover More Pages" link in your "Other Pages" of your Info Tab, they have various other "Like" Pages to choose from. And believe me when I say EVERYTHING under the sun that you can think of is in that section.

Including "I ♥ Being Black" (Black).

What I am about to say, may slightly offend some people. Then again, maybe it will open some eyes. I'm not looking to make friends with this post.

To me, as a white person, I find THAT page hypocritical. As well as in all honesty, to me, offensive.

That to me, is Reverse Racism. Why? Because, if it were "I ♥ Being Black (Latino, Hispanic, Chinese, Japanese, ect), it is considered acceptable. If there was one aptly named "I ♥ Being *WHITE*" then someone is going to cry foul and call the page and it's members racists for having "white pride".

How is it fair to us Caucasian people to be penned as racists and "(insert race here) haters" for stating that we love our skin color, but ANY other race can do so, and not have one eye batted at them for doing such?

And don't think for a minute that my race isn't downed or 'hated'. I have seen others being called "cracker" and "whitey". But as soon as you as a white person call out a derogatory name of another race, then you are considered a race hater.

There is racism in EVERY area of the human race. And to see the hypocrisy in the "I ♥ Being Black" page, as well as out in the world is sickening to me. This is the 21st Century, people! ALL OF US need to get with the times.

We are not back in the 20th Century, or even the 19th Century, where racism was running rampant. There is no longer slave ownership and segregation. It is time to STOP HANGING HISTORY OVER THE 'WHITE MAN'S' HEAD!!!

How, after at least the last 40 years, can we as a human society still be so damn barbaric? I say it's time that we get it together and GET OVER the past, and move on in to the future.

This goes for racism, homophobia, the way that we treat (all forms of) the disabled and how we treat the sick (such as those with HIV/AIDS).

When all is said and done, at the end of each day, "I ♥ Being A Human Being of Society".

McDonald's is changing the world.

McDonald's. It's been a kid-friendly staple for over fifty years. Who knew that when Ray Kroc first opened his little burger joint's doors, that it would be the mega-empire it is today?

It wasn't (if I remember correctly) until the middle 1970's that Happy Meals started to appear. Back then, it was either a hamburger or cheeseburger, with a small fry and a kid-sized drink.

Today, there are various types of Happy Meals. From burgers, to nuggets, to even a Snack Wrap. Plus you can now choose fries or "Apple Dippers", and either a milk (or chocolate milk), Apple Juice, or a fountain drink (AKA soda).

The other day, I had taken my kids for a breakfast. I had no milk, so no cereal. And I wanted to get out of the house anyways. At first I didn't seem to notice, but when I went to throw some trash away, I did.

Usually, you can see the small, plastic boxes where you can drop coins in to the box's slot. All proceeds in that box goes to the Ronald McDonald's Charity House for your general locality.

There, now in a huge window display poster, it now reads that Happy Meals and McDonald's was bringing even more smiles...and hope to kids and their families.

Namely families with sick, hospitalized children.

To my memory, if it serves me right, my parents, a time or two, had to stay at the Ronald McDonald Charity House while I was hospitalized. Plus, even though it was for a (grown) uncle, I and his (then) girlfriend and were able to stay a night at the Ronald McDonald Charity House here for this area.

McDonald's has (for the most part) always been committed to children and their families. They help HUNDREDS of families every year, around the United States.

When families, and their children must travel long distances for medical treatment, or the child is transferred via ambulance or helicopter to a distant hospital, then this is where the RMCH comes in.

They house the family (and sometimes the child too, if they are not admitted to the hospital), feed them a meal, let them shower and rest. And the RMCH has as much of a comfortable environment as possible. To make it as much a "home away from home" as they can make it.

I'm so happy that children and their families have somewhere to go, and feel safe, and be comfortable, as well as relaxed during their child's most trying time of life. And I'm happy to be a part of it. I love giving back to those that helped me and my family when I was a child. Be it RMCH, Children's Miracle Network (CMN), or Shriner's Organization.

Without them all, I don't know where myself, my parents or the millions of families like ours would have (or would in the future) do without them.

Mama Bear Is Striking Back Again. Compliance Dept., Here I Come!

As mothers, many of us possess this uncanny gift. We call it Mom-dar. With this gift we can sense things from a mile away (it seems) that just feels "off". Be it about a place, a situation, or even a person.

And for me, my Mom-dar was right on target that day, but I couldn't place why. I knew the who. But for what reason?

Well, as of last night I now know the why, to go along with the who.

Many readers know that I had a lot of problems obtaining Bryce's Intuniv. I was able to get samples. But the going in every one to two weeks was getting to be a real hassle. And of course, it didn't help the doctor (once again) was on a month-long leave when I needed him for the Pre-Authorization process.

Being the doctor in charge of Bryce's care was gone, another doctor who in fact is over the other doctors in the practice is to pick up the slack and help with prescriptions (if they are established) and pre-auth's.

Not the Office Manager! And believe me, he SUCKED! Yes, it is a male head Office Manager/Nurse. Gender is not the issue. The ability to perform duties, and get the IMPORTANT matters taken care of in a TIMELY manner are the issues.

The one nurse that DID help us by taking charge when I came in crying and finding lie after lie had gotten more done in TWO DAYS than the idiot did in (almost) a month.

After all was said and done, I made formal grievance complaints against the Office Manager, and then called insurance and filed one with them as well. The lady in Compliance for the Doctor's Building was pretty upset and took care of it all right away. She even apologized to me (though I told her it wasn't her place, and nothing was her fault).

Last night, I had gotten a call. It was from the nurse that HELPED me and my son. I found out this happened to more than just us. It happened to a few families. And I was not the only one to file a complaint. A few of us did.

And our beloved nurse got FIRED last week because of it all. Because she stood up for us and our kids. Because she voiced herself over what she was seeing. And because she could EASILY get many in that building fired...

Though the office manager (if you want to call him that) claims he is going nowhere and that he has friends in "high places" to ensure his stay. And he has been REPORTED on several occasions for various screw ups and "no call, no shows" to work. He comes and goes as he pleases. No consistency in the office.

She was fired based on "aggressive communication" and for "overstepping authority". In other words, she got somewhere with insurance by playing their game back with them and got somewhere, where as the one appointed to do so, didn't do a damn thing and it made him look bad.

I've done it once, and I will GLADLY do it again. I am calling Compliance to file a grievance on my fave nurse's behalf. And writing her a Letter Of Recommendation. Plus I found out from the "birdie" that my other favorite nurse (that knew what the hell she was doing) was 'pushed out' by the Office Manager because he didn't like that she could run circles around him and do HIS job and her's 110% better than he ever could.

Sometimes, I hate men. Especially the egotistical, narcissistic, asshole types.

Off to start my busy day of calls and (maybe) taking a kid to the doctor due to an allergy problem and a (possible) ear infection.

Mean Girls...The realities from someone that's been there.

Mean girls. They have been show-cased in movies, in music and in the news. I've personally had experience with the real deal. Primarily in the Elementary School years. Being that I looked "different" from the other children, I was an outcast.

The girls mainly were the ones to degrade me. Not just in their words, but their actions as well. Often as a girl, I wondered what kind of "kicks" the kids got out of teasing and degrading me. What was with their pointless jokes on my behalf? To this day, I still at times have these questions pop in to my head.

Do bullies, especially the girls, really know what life-long affects take place when they pull their heartless pranks, say their cruel words and make their mark in the "Mean Girls" history book?

Thanks to their cruelty from long ago, I still have self-esteem issues. I often think of myself as not pretty and not worthy of love and affection by a man. Yes, I have a husband. One that loves me and sees me as beautiful. But personally, I cannot see what he sees.

All I still see to this day is a girl that has scars from one end of her body, to the other. I see where I once had a feeding tube from my diaphragm, in to my stomach. I see where the tracheostomy was performed and the trache was the symbol of my survival, as well as my ability to BREATH. I see the pitted area under my right arm where I had a chest tube placed to drain all the collective fluid from my right lung after it collapsed. I see the uneven breasts and the scar leading from under my right arm, leading up just past my right shoulder blade, where they re-inflated my lung, as well as reattached my esophagus, where it was detached (birth defect).

And to this day, I have lasting psychological and emotional side effects not only from having done what was needed to ensure my survival, but from the scars left behind from YEARS of torture from those that never truly understood, let alone took the time to TRY and understand or learn why I looked "different".

Mean girls have gotten to the point with their bullying in this cyber-age, where their violence towards other girls has taken such a toll on its intended victim, that those being teased, taunted and humiliated are TAKING THEIR LIVES.

Is it honestly worth a life to ridicule and demoralize another human being just to get "kicks" from someone else's imperfections? To me, no it certainly is NOT!

If only some of these "mean girls" could have the tables turned on them. Not that I would EVER wish ill-will on another human being. But how would they feel if something was to happen to them and they were disfigured? Be it from a car accident or a fall? Or from some other disfiguring and/or life-altering situation? Maybe they were placed on medication that made them gain weight, or it was caused by a medical condition.

Once their "perfection" is changed in to "imperfection", then they start having friends "dropping" them from their inner circle, or "cliques". Then, the stares and whispers begin. And of course with them not knowing the FULL story behind the changes, the rumor mill starts churning. As do the assumptions.

Finally, the heckling, physical picking and pranks begin.

Finally, that FORMER "mean girl" is getting to experience the reality of what she used to do at one time in her life. Now, instead of the huntress, she is the prey.

Try being in my shoes, or the "former mean girl's" shoes. If only more "mean girls" could experience what myself and MILLIONS of other girls of the past have had to endure. Not by choice, but by force.

Do I blame the parents? In MOST cases, YES! Especially in this day and age. Parents should be an EXAMPLE, as well as the greatest teacher when it comes to children having compassion and empathy for their peers.

Then again, parents can teach these kids all the good values of compassion, respect, empathy and love to their children, and those kids go out in to the world and make poor choices. Their greatest weapon of choice? The internet.

Cyber-bullying, especially among teen girls is at an all-time high. As are the suicide rates due to cyber-bullying. It is so easy to create a profile, "friend" your target and play with their minds and emotions. All the while, as you are "friending" the target, you are talking negatively behind the target's back.

After a while, there will be a whistle blower to throw it all in the target's face to show how "stupid" and gullible the victim has been. Once the victim sees what is REALLY thought about her, then the self-esteem issues, the emotional issues and the mental issues come in and destroy its target.

Please, teach your children to have compassion. Teach them that NO MATTER WHAT, the person that "looks" different (in ANY form!) is still a human being with feelings. Let your children know that it could very easily be them on the other end. Let them know that their actions indeed do speak louder than words. And words used in the wrong way, can and DOES hurt. No matter if they are said behind the person's back, to their face, or on a computer screen.