Donation... Give the gift of Smiles & of Yourself.

A while back, I had written a post about an experience that took myself and my husband by surprise. We knew that when the time was right, we were going to pass on the gift of giving to someone. We have since been on the lookout of who and how we were going to "Pay It Forward" to.

This is a concept I already had in mind for myself though, since I had turned the age of eighteen. Since then, I have been a Registered Donor to donate anything I can in the event of my death.

Who knew that at the age of thirty-two, just fourteen years after becoming a Donor, that I also would be seeing the whole topic of Organ/Tissue Donation from the other side of the fence. You can read my Corneal Transplant Recipient story HERE.

But also, I have been able to "pay it forward" monetarily. And thanks to the donations that were all pooled together, a record twenty-five children were able to purchase books at the Spring Book Fair at school.

Hayley had found a $100 bill in the school's soccer field a while back and brought it home. Sure I got on her for not turning it in right away. But then, I myself constantly forgot to take it with me to turn in as well.

So, seeing as so much time has passed, we (Scott and I collectively) decided to donate the $100 to the school's Library for the Book Fair's "Students in Need" box. After the totals were counted, there was close to $190.00 to split between the kids. Pre-K through Fist grade students were able to spend up to $5 and those in Second through Fifth grade were able to spend up to $10.

It felt wonderful to see the long list and know that so many children were being helped this year. I'm NOT happy that they had to be on it, because of such financial hardships in their families. But I AM happy that these kids were able to continue on the path to a wonderful love and enjoyment of reading.

Although, there is something else, along with the love of reading that is very close to my heart. That is Organ/Tissue Donation Awareness. Not just because I am a Registered Donor, as is my husband. But because we as a family have experienced firsthand the miracles of Tissue Donation. To be able to regain (most of) my sight back is an honest miracle. And as a mother, being down just ONE eye is hard to deal with. No matter how much you do to "adapt".

Did you know that you can be a LIVING Donor? Blood, a piece of your liver, a kidney, bone marrow, tendons and other tissues.

Then, you have Donors that donate skin, corneas, major organs such as your hearts and lungs. Plus cadaver (deceased) donors can give their tissues, bones, livers, kidneys, and intestines.

Right now, in the United States of America, the statistics for Recipients CURRENTLY awaiting their "gifts of LIFE" stands at (provided by Organ Procurement & Transplant Network)..

All Organs 110,484
Kidney 88,087
Liver 16,164
Pancreas 1,384
Heart 3,188
Lung 1,758
Intestine 265

As a Registered Donor, you can potentially save up to eight people's lives, and enrich and better about 50 lives.

Giving has always been a part of me and of who I am. I give what I can, where I can, when I can. So signing up to be an Organ/Eye/Tissue Donor was a no-brainer for me. If you are interested in becoming a Donor, please visit OrganDonor.Gov or United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS) and find out more Organ Transplantation and becoming a HERO, and to find out how to register in your state or Provence.

Because to us, our Donors (living and deceased), and their families are indeed our HEROES!

It Was A 'Pay It Forward' kind of evening

They say that Angels walk among us. They are hidden within society, not showing their wings, as to blend in. They show mercy, love and kindness. Some are our Guardian Angels, sent here to be with us, help guide us and to protect us.

I truly believe we have met an "Angel in Disguise"...

Last night, hubby and I decided to take the kids out for dinner. He was in the mood for Wendy's (seeing as what he is REALLY in the mood for, he can't have at the moment, so something else HAS TO take its place).

After a good, long wait, being that for some reason, the place was packed and the line long (on a SUNDAY night), we finally made it up to the counter to give the Cashier our order.

Between the meal combos and the Frosties (can't leave without having a Frosty!)the bill racked up to almost forty dollars (within a few cents!).

Scott whipped out the trusty Check Card and proceeded to hand it to the lady behind the counter, only to be told to put his card back in to his wallet.

After giving the woman a puzzled look, she said "someone already paid for your order" and then secretively-like told Scott it was the "lady ahead of you in the pink shirt".

By that time, I'd already sat the kids down at a table. He came to me and explained all that transpired and I was just flabbergasted, to say the least. So, as the "Lady In Pink" was sitting at a booth, awaiting her order, I sauntered over and thanked her for her sincere kindness.

Being that my poor cell phone was about to die, I had enough umph in it to post a text to my FaceBook about it. When I got home, I was surprised at how many "liked" or replied to my post. Especially those that were shocked that there are still people out there that love others enough, even strangers, to do "random acts of kindness".

But like I later stated on another Status I had done, the kindness of strangers still amazes me, but doesn't truly surprise me. I know that they are still out there, though in now a rare breed.

And like I said, blessed are the meek. This woman and her generous heart had taught my children something that no school, nor even I as a parent talking about it could ever teach them. They witnessed what I have told them about "love thy neighbor and do unto others as you wish to have done unto you".

They know (well, at least the two older ones do) that eventually, and as a family mind you, we intend to "pay it forward" to a fellow stranger. Be it at a restaurant, at the gas station or even the grocery store.

And after what I'd been witness to and on the receiving end of, it took me back to the movie starring Haley Joel Osment, Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt aptly named "Pay It Forward", where a teacher who is scarred from a fire has his class do a project of doing a good deed for someone, then in turn that person does a good deed for another. Then that person goes and also does a good deed, and so on. The stipulation? The receiver MUST follow through and "pay it forward" with an act of kindness towards another. Be it a stranger or a friend or family member.

With that all said, I *CHALLENGE* all of my readers who are reading this post to go out and "PAY IT FORWARD". And it does NOT have to be with buying something or paying for something for another person. Just as long as it's a random act of kindness.

My First Time.

Some say, when you have your first time, it can be really scary. You don't know what to expect, how to act or react. Or even what to feel at that very moment in time.

There are many firsts in our lives. First boyfriend or girlfriend. First dates and kisses. First time having sex. And then there is another first. One that thousands in the United States, and millions world wide get to have. Believe me, it is a first that no one wants to experience.

The loss of someone that for some people, they don't really even know on a "personal" level. But the shock, hurt, fear, and pain is still the same. Because in my exclusive club, when one hurts, we all hurt. When one rejoices, we all rejoice.

Sadly, there is no rejoicing for us in the Transplant Community in our Facebook tight-knit group, TEC. For one of our own is watching his wife dying before his very eyes. And there is NOTHING now that can be done for her.

She was in the process of testing to receive a Liver Transplant. She was even transferred to another hospital to start rehabilitation. But no sooner they got her there, she had to go back to her regular hospital and be placed in ICU. Sadly, she is now in Liver and Renal Failure. Her Kidneys have also basically shut down. Now, this vibrant, "young" woman is on full life support and around-the-clock dialysis.

Her family is coming in to say their good-bye's and at this point she is comfortable. By Monday, she will be taken off of life support and let nature take it's course, unless her heart stops before then.

This is a first for me. It is a stark, let alone grim reality of being in the Transplant World. None of us, be it Live Donors, Donor Families, or Recipients, I think honestly "get it" until something like this happens. We are in a "La La Land" of sorts. We all know that some get the call and are lucky. Some sadly don't. But until it REALLY "hits home" and happens to one of your own (so to speak), you can't honestly get a grasp on the severity of the realities of being in this (be it unwanted) exclusive club, where ALL ages are welcome, nor are they turned away. Transplantation has no age limits. Nor does Organ Failure.

Today, I await word on a friend's wife. He held out so much hope, gave her SO much love and devotion and was there for her from beginning to end, never wavering. He was giving positivity and hope to fellow new caregivers, even as he has had been getting his own heart shattering through seeing that there was nothing he could do but support and be there for the love of his life. And he is at this moment, by her side. Showing her his undying love, giving all the support he can as her soul-mate and just waiting for the end to sadly come.

We, his friends, have been loving them, supporting them and have hoped for the best. But sadly, the best came too late in the game. And for one woman, her journey through the Transplant Experience is almost over. Help was coming too late.

This "first" is something I will carry with me for years to come. And it's a "first" I knew would come along in my life. I just didn't think I would be blind sided with it this soon after becoming a Recipient myself. But I thank it for coming like it did. Why? Because now I can see the TRUE realities of the Transplant Community/World. It's not all a bed of sunshine, puppies and rainbows.

There is also darkness, heart break, sadness and death. In  this "club", lives are at stake. We have to depend on another person, be it that they are alive or have died, to keep US alive, seeing and going on with our own lives. And to be here for our loved ones. That's a hard pill to have to swallow.

Some one had to DIE to give me my sight back. Some people depended on someone's death to be their second chance for a new heart or a new set of lungs. It's not easy knowing this fact. In some ways, some of us (myself included) felt like we "took" or "stolen" from our donors, in a selfish manner. But that is NOT the case.

Our donors gave of themselves to help those that are in need of a second chance at living their lives and being with their loved ones. Without them, we either would not be able to see, walk or even be alive ourselves.

There is so much more of a Demand, than there is a Supply for people in need of a Transplant. Be it a heart, a kidney, lungs, cornea, skin, and many other organs, tissues and even blood. Please, if you have yet to do so, SIGN UP to be an Organ/Eye/Tissue Donor. Be a HERO and pay it forward. You never know when YOU may depend on someone else for a second chance for the Gift of Life.

Mean Girls...The realities from someone that's been there.

Mean girls. They have been show-cased in movies, in music and in the news. I've personally had experience with the real deal. Primarily in the Elementary School years. Being that I looked "different" from the other children, I was an outcast.

The girls mainly were the ones to degrade me. Not just in their words, but their actions as well. Often as a girl, I wondered what kind of "kicks" the kids got out of teasing and degrading me. What was with their pointless jokes on my behalf? To this day, I still at times have these questions pop in to my head.

Do bullies, especially the girls, really know what life-long affects take place when they pull their heartless pranks, say their cruel words and make their mark in the "Mean Girls" history book?

Thanks to their cruelty from long ago, I still have self-esteem issues. I often think of myself as not pretty and not worthy of love and affection by a man. Yes, I have a husband. One that loves me and sees me as beautiful. But personally, I cannot see what he sees.

All I still see to this day is a girl that has scars from one end of her body, to the other. I see where I once had a feeding tube from my diaphragm, in to my stomach. I see where the tracheostomy was performed and the trache was the symbol of my survival, as well as my ability to BREATH. I see the pitted area under my right arm where I had a chest tube placed to drain all the collective fluid from my right lung after it collapsed. I see the uneven breasts and the scar leading from under my right arm, leading up just past my right shoulder blade, where they re-inflated my lung, as well as reattached my esophagus, where it was detached (birth defect).

And to this day, I have lasting psychological and emotional side effects not only from having done what was needed to ensure my survival, but from the scars left behind from YEARS of torture from those that never truly understood, let alone took the time to TRY and understand or learn why I looked "different".

Mean girls have gotten to the point with their bullying in this cyber-age, where their violence towards other girls has taken such a toll on its intended victim, that those being teased, taunted and humiliated are TAKING THEIR LIVES.

Is it honestly worth a life to ridicule and demoralize another human being just to get "kicks" from someone else's imperfections? To me, no it certainly is NOT!

If only some of these "mean girls" could have the tables turned on them. Not that I would EVER wish ill-will on another human being. But how would they feel if something was to happen to them and they were disfigured? Be it from a car accident or a fall? Or from some other disfiguring and/or life-altering situation? Maybe they were placed on medication that made them gain weight, or it was caused by a medical condition.

Once their "perfection" is changed in to "imperfection", then they start having friends "dropping" them from their inner circle, or "cliques". Then, the stares and whispers begin. And of course with them not knowing the FULL story behind the changes, the rumor mill starts churning. As do the assumptions.

Finally, the heckling, physical picking and pranks begin.

Finally, that FORMER "mean girl" is getting to experience the reality of what she used to do at one time in her life. Now, instead of the huntress, she is the prey.

Try being in my shoes, or the "former mean girl's" shoes. If only more "mean girls" could experience what myself and MILLIONS of other girls of the past have had to endure. Not by choice, but by force.

Do I blame the parents? In MOST cases, YES! Especially in this day and age. Parents should be an EXAMPLE, as well as the greatest teacher when it comes to children having compassion and empathy for their peers.

Then again, parents can teach these kids all the good values of compassion, respect, empathy and love to their children, and those kids go out in to the world and make poor choices. Their greatest weapon of choice? The internet.

Cyber-bullying, especially among teen girls is at an all-time high. As are the suicide rates due to cyber-bullying. It is so easy to create a profile, "friend" your target and play with their minds and emotions. All the while, as you are "friending" the target, you are talking negatively behind the target's back.

After a while, there will be a whistle blower to throw it all in the target's face to show how "stupid" and gullible the victim has been. Once the victim sees what is REALLY thought about her, then the self-esteem issues, the emotional issues and the mental issues come in and destroy its target.

Please, teach your children to have compassion. Teach them that NO MATTER WHAT, the person that "looks" different (in ANY form!) is still a human being with feelings. Let your children know that it could very easily be them on the other end. Let them know that their actions indeed do speak louder than words. And words used in the wrong way, can and DOES hurt. No matter if they are said behind the person's back, to their face, or on a computer screen.

Friendship 101.... The right way and the wrong way to DROP a friend.

Friendships. I take them seriously. Never with a "grain of salt". I've personally been known to cry with someone. I'll laugh with them. I will rejoice with them. I will be an ear for them, as well as a shoulder to cry on.

For friends that are here in my life for real, as well as for my "internet family" of friends. There are REAL people on the other side of this computer screen.

People with REAL feelings. Real emotions. Real hearts. And all of those can be easily shattered when you are not thinking of the REAL person on the other side.

I've had it happen to me all too many times. People saying hateful things, either to me or to friends/family. Judging my character, my choices, my parenting styles.

They might just be words to those that spew them. Or actions (even REACTIONS). But to the one that they are being aimed at, it can wound them. Deeply. On many levels.

Case in point...

There is a person I have "known" via the internet for a few years now. We hit it off pretty instantaneously. I've never judged the person for how they live their life and "run" the family. And this person afforded me the same courtesy. All was good. At least I thought it was.

Now, I guess that the "magic" in the friendship is gone. And it's apparently gone with a number of us. Because just like that, this person that I have been friends with, "dumped" me, along with some of my other wonderful friends that we (at one time) shared.

No explanation. No warning. No rhyme or reason. The person started deleting and BLOCKING people. None of us can figure out why. We don't know, nor can we think of ANYTHING that we did to offend or hurt this person (supposedly).

Must be nice to be able to just throw years of friendship and love away as if it NEVER meant a thing...Especially since it was "only" an 'internet friend'. Would this person have done this to us if it was on a more personal, face-to-face level? Maybe. Maybe not. At least face-to-face, we have a better chance of knowing what we "did wrong".

Friends come and go out of our lives. It's just a fact of life. And that's okay with me. But there is a 'right' way, as well as a 'wrong' way to do so. Especially if this 'friendship' has spanned OVER  a year's time.

Several of us are hurt and bewildered. We wish to know WHAT WE DID/SAID and try to rectify the situation. If the person wishes to no longer have friendship with us, we are okay. But we as a group that have been tossed to the wayside (at least that's how we feel) and feel that we are at the very least owed an explanation for the sudden change of heart.

But hey, you can lead a horse to water. But you certainly can't force it to drink. Am I not right? If they feel that jilted by us, even though we have never shown anything but love, acceptance and respect for them, then that's on them. I don't have to live with the guilt of how I treated three people that were nothing but kind and loving. At least I would have GIVEN AN EXPLANATION as to why I am "giving them the boot".

Like they say, what goes around that you send out, will come back and bite you ten times harder.

Copy of letter to DONATE LIFE AMERICA re: my story of being a Cornea Recipient

For much of my adult life, I have been battling what I thought to be "teen acne". That was until the morning of October 21,2009. That's when I perforated my Cornea after poking it with my finger knuckle as I scratched an itch on my eyebrow, and my finger slipped.

On October 24th, I was sent to Duke University Medical Center and learned that I in fact had the skin condition, Rosacea. This is called Ocular Rosacea. It was in my eyes as well. And as a result, the Cornea thinned with each flare-up.

On October 29th, I was rushed back to Duke for an emergency Corneal Transplant. The Gluing procedure that was used to wait out the infection didn't work.

Thanks to my Donor, their courageous gift, and his/her family, I was able to regain my sight. At least a tiny bit. It's going to take a great amount of time (about a year or so) for all of my vision to return.

But this married, Stay-At-Home Mom of three children (ages 10 years to 5 years) is forever grateful to the doctors, her Donor, Donor Family and the North Carolina Eye Bank for the gift of sight. Without them and my family's support, I very well could be blind for the rest of my life (or even without an actual eye).

That Cornea Donation saved my Cornea, the eye it's self, and my life as I've come to "know" it.

Please give to others. Be a Donor and give someone the chance at a better, healthier, and happier life.

I myself am an Organ/Tissue/Eye Donor. If you are going to "take", it's always a good thing to also "give".

Melissa, State of Virginia

An Angel In Disguise. (I have this friend...)

And she "gets" me. To a tee.

True, we are about ten years apart in age. She has all boys. I have two girls, and a boy in the middle (poor kid!). Her marriage to her husband has been longer than mine. And only one of her kids happen to be around the same age of my oldest two.

But we do have some things in common. One of them being that we both have sons with Special Needs. They are both deemed Bipolar (although due to my son's age, its aptly called 'Mood Disorder'). Plus my son has Tourette's tendencies (primarily the severe tics, pulling/twirling of hair, but no foul language spewing), OCD, ADHD, Anxiety Disorder and Manic Depression.

There are days where either one of us or even both of us are having one of those "crap-tastic" days with our boys. Add in the other two kids and it's a six-ring circus (because three rings wouldn't even BEGIN to cover it!). And we will end up venting to one another via the phone or on Instant Message on Facebook (though I do wish she would YIM instead...FB IM sucks!).

She is a Christian, but not overly Conservative. I myself am a Spiritual-Christian. She and I have many of the same thoughts and views on the subject. We do see differently on a few Christian subjects. But, that's what makes our conversations about it so nice.

We also both know how it is having to deal with the Manic Episodes, the nights where the boys get barely to no sleep because their brains just can't seem to unwind, even WITH their medicine (which they are both on the same nighttime medicine), the anger flare-ups, the high's and low's of emotional state when the Mania is taking over...The list is long and seemingly never ending.

Funny how angels just swoop down in to your life in the most surprising of ways. There were times that I utterly felt alone and isolated from the world. That no one will understand me, my struggles...or my son.

Then along came that angel. We "met" via a website for moms. And we instantly clicked. Since that day, we have been tighter than two over-grown sardines stuffed in a can.

What can I say? She is truly one of a kind. She knows me. She knows how I feel, what I am thinking and why. She is the jelly to my PB&J.

She is truly....my angel.

Devotional Sunday (1 John 3:18)

Children. They are our most precious commodity in this world. They daily show us unconditional love. They bring joy and happiness to our lives.

If only those of us in the world can be more like them. Their view of the world is pure and innocent. So are their hearts.

1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.


Actions really do speak louder than words. Even small children know this. Words can cut deep like a knife and drive directly in to the soul.

As I grew up, I had required medical intervention via a tracheotomy to help me keep air circulating through my lungs. So, I had a visible impairment, being that the "bolus" of the trach was on the outside of my throat.

Needless to say, men, women and children alike gawked, stared, snickered, sneered, giggled under their breath as they cupped their mouths to not let us see.

Then there were those, again adults and children alike, that made it no secret of how they thought of my parents letting me out of the house "looking like that" and using me as the butt of their god-awful jokes.

The children don't come out of the womb thinking, acting, and speaking in that manner. It was taught. Through the tongue of their parents. Their actions were of a lesser heartened person. So really deep down, I never truly blamed the children. I blamed those that are the "best" teachers (besides the Lord)...Their parents.

In all of this what made it worse? That I would see these kids, along with their parents in CHURCH! Talk about hypocrisy at its finest.

So yes, words of the tongue are sharper than any sword. Actions, depending on what it is, can be a softener. Words can never be taken back. So, speak through the tongue with love. And you will get love back in return.

"Retard!"

As of just a little while ago, I became a member of a FaceBook group that advocates for children and adults with mental and physical handicaps. The group centers their advocacy around educating the public about using the term "retard" when referring to severely handicapped persons.

Here is the link for the group. Check it out if you are interested. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5039649875 (Please Don't Say "Retard")

My son, as some of my readers know, is deemed by our state as being handicapped. He has several mental disorders that affect his ability to have a "normal" life that his peers have. He struggles daily in some form or fashion with his symptoms, which are many to count.

At one time, I myself was legally deemed handicapped. I even had a special parking sticker for my parent's car. I required a tracheotomy from birth, until I was almost a teenager. And I also had required carrying around specialized equipment in the car where ever we went, in case I needed assistance with clearing my lungs.

There were countless times through those years that men, women and children alike would gawk and stare at me. They would point and snicker. There would be whispers here and there as well. And there was also the occasional "If that were MY kid, I wouldn't take IT out in public. Not when they are RETARDED like that".

Sometimes, it was loud enough that my parents could hear it plain as day. Those people WANTED THEM TO hear what they said.

Other times, people would say it low enough, thinking that they aren't being heard. All the while, my parents could hear them. Believe me. And those people knew it by the way my parents would cut their eyes and walk away. With their heads held high of course.

Words DO cut. They do HURT others. Especially when the words are used in an inappropriate, meaningfully hurtful, non-medical terms. Especially the word 'retard' or 'retarded'.

Here is the definition for "retarded"...

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/retard

re⋅tard

 /rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4] Show IPA

Use retard in a Sentence

See images of retard

Search retard on the Web

–verb (used with object)

1.	to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.

–verb (used without object)

2.	to be delayed.

–noun

3.	a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.

4.	Slang: Disparaging. a. a mentally retarded person. b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.

5.	Automotive, Machinery. an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.

My son is no different from your kid (THANKS ANGEL FOR THE INSPIRATION)

When you see my son, what do you see? Do you see the happiness he can have most of the time? Do you see that he can be sly at any given moment? Do you see how much he loves his family?

Can you see that my son is Bipolar, with OCD, ADHD, Asperger's Tendensies, Anxiety Disorder and Behavior Disorder?

When our children with these 'problems' have an 'off" day of lashing out and being 'abnormal', it is OUR normal. We have gotten used to the stares and whispers out in the public eye. Especially when an episode from the Mania he experiences just suddenly pops up during a shopping trip or other outting.

Sure all is fine and good with the world around us....Until it happens. Bryce's eyes glaze over in a "haze" and get a more sharp tone. His voice is quiet. His movement almost at a stand still. Then it happens. OUTBURST!

Next thing I know, I am having to take Bryce off to the side to talk him down, maybe even bear hug him from behind. Otherwise he is going to try and knock things over, run off, or hit someone (mainly me or his sisters).

And this is where the world's judges come in. They gawk and stare at the "evil" little boy and the parents that obviously can't "control" their kid. They see that as one of us is dealing with Bryce, the other is trying to maintain calmness with Hayley and Skyler, as to not have them feel upset or embarrassed.

Once everything is said and done, the calm comes as the storm passes. And everything is as it once was before the Episode hit. And yes, these can occur at ANY given moment at ANY time of day, in ANY place (even in the home).

What you see as an "outsider" looking in though is NOT what I see. I don't see the "evil" little child that is unruly and needs his "ass whipped more often".

What I personally see as Bryce's mother, and Scott sees in his son as the boy's father is the potential that our son has to become a normal and productive member of society.

Bryce is in mainstream classes at school. And in ADVANCED Math and Reading classes.

He has friends and a 'social life'.

Bryce loves to play games on the computer and his sister's DS.

My boy is a Spongebob junkie.

He has a wonderful talent for knowing about Astronomy.

But Bryce also requires monthly Psychiatric sessions because to help curb MOST of the symptoms of all of his disabilities, he needs medication. And to be sure that the medicines are working properly, there are no adverse affects, and that he is overall doing well, he must see a "Shrink".

Okay, yes I said that I "drug" my kid. But, there are SO MANY misconceptions about the medications that are given to Psychiatric patients. Especially those given to children.

My son is not a "zombie'. He is not "foaming at the mouth" or listless. He is functioning at a better rate for his age THANKS TO those drugs. And it helps curb the ideals for him to go and get a hammer or knife and hold it up at me, all the while saying he is GOING TO KILL ME.

Yep, that's actually happened a few times over the years. Why do you think I have to keep the tool room locked? Mainly with the hammer. I don't remember him ever trying it with a knife.

What this is all boiling down to is that for parents such as myself, we are tired of "professionals" telling us what we do or do not know. No one knows our children better than us. And when we cry out for help, we EXPECT someone to be there, listen and do RIGHT by our kids. Not pass us off and think that they 'know' our children. When that happens, dangerous or even fatal errors can occur.

Same goes for society as well. When you see a parent dealing with an "evil little brat", don't assume that the kid is just a 'bad seed' and the parent is just not "parenting right". Look at the scene a little closer. Try for a second to put yourself in their shoes. Because their child might be Special too.

Hidden Disabilities get the most "heat" in this nation and passed off by the general public more than it should be. It's time to stand back and get to know the person before judging them. They are human too and all they ask for, like anyone else is some compassion, understanding, and caring.

Dear EBay

Dear EBay,

While you did rectify your poorly made decision, your company and it's "higher ups" still suck!

How can you sit there and pledge to WAIVE the fees to hold an auction to benefit a sick little boy and his family, which was amounting to around $450.00, only to get greedy and try to recend on YOUR promises?

EBay, you sicken me! Especially being that you TRIED to pull this little stunt right at Christmastime. That makes you the biggest SCROOGE of all to myself, many mommy-bloggers around the world, the family that the funds from the auction are helping, and many others from AROUND THE WORLD.

Are you people at the company happy with yourselves now? Or do you (and I hope you DO!) feel like a bunch of horse's asses? If the latter is true, then guess what? GOOD!!!! You don't deserve praise in my mind, even though you FINALLY did do the right thing.

But doing the right thing came a bit too late. It took multiple conversations with Supahmommy, many calls from angry mothers and fathers, and blog letters from us mothers who have been praying for and spreading awareness about Baby Jaden. Not to mention Tweets that went out WORLD WIDE, and Facebook users such as MYSELF who had spread the word about your selfishness and what crap you tried to pull to make a quick buck at the expence of a DYING BOY.

If you as a company that claims it cares and is a "community service" really in fact DID CARE, you wouldn't have gotten those dollar signs in your eyes and try to back out of a promise to waive those fees in the first place.

Instead, you had seen how successful the auction was and just HAD TO HAVE a cut of the profit that was meant to all be SOLELY FOR JADEN and his financially, emotionally, and physically hurting family.

I'm hoping that you the people of EBay have learned an extremely valuable and endearing lesson from all of this....

That is to KEEP YOUR WORD when you make A PROMISE to a DYING CHILD and their family!!!

Sincerely,

Melissa C.

Paying forward to those in need....

This year has been a wild ride, to say the least. There have been more ups of course. But some of the downs sure did turn our lives upside down.

All was pretty good up until about mid-October. Then, it seems like everything pretty much fell apart around my husband, myself, and our family.

My eye infection came back, then it (and my stupidity) perforated my Cornea to where I required a Cornea Transplant. Of course, soon after those bills, along with the regular monthly bills started to add up quickly.

Suddenly, we were in a very hard, but not uncommon predicament....Christmas was coming and we didn't have the money to buy our children gifts. At least not many.

So, we took a chance and applied for a Holiday loan. Sadly, we didn't qualify. But, as fate and luck would have it, we did qualify for a Personal loan that was just a bit more in interest.

Now, we had gotten each of the three kids some stuff. Not a whole lot. But enough to let them feel that they have a decent amount each under the tree.

Plus, we were able to let each of the kids shop for us. They wanted too. So, they were able to spend thirty dollars a piece on dear old Mom and Dad. Two presents from each of the kids.

Next, Scotty and I plan on buying for one another. No more than fifty dollars or so a piece. But, as we shop for one another, I plan on shopping for three more kids.

No, not my nieces or nephews, or cousins. They are all already taken care of. But for children that may not have a Christmas at all, without a little help.

This year, I plan on buying one girl's toy, one boy's toy, and one infant's toy and dropping them off to Toys For Tots.

Toys For Tots has been a great help to my family in the past. The service/charity is ran by the Marine Corps.

It's easy. Just buy new, packed, unwrapped toys and give them to the Marine Soldiers that are at your local stores, with TFT bins. Or drop them off at your local Marine Corp base. You should be able to find them in the Government section of your phone book.

Remember the old saying, "it is better to give than to receive". And yes, that saying really is true. It fills my heart with joy, love, and accomplishment to give to others when they may feel that there is nothing. There is something...

Love of your fellow man.

Pay it forward. Give to those that need the help, the love, and the gift of your willingness to serve.

What are YOU thankful for this holiday season?

This morning, I sat here and it suddenly dawned on me, that in one week, it will be Thanksgiving Day. And it will also mean my kids will have an extra two days off from school to drive me completely and utterly insane.

Of course, this is the holiday where people are thankful. For what they have, who they have in their lives, and so forth.

You know, the usuals. We are all thankful for our jobs (for those that are employed, especially in these very hard economic times), our families (even those pesky inlaws), for our homes and other neccessities in life. And even for the not-so-needed materialistic things that we have.

While I'm extremely grateful for all of the above myself, there is one special thing in particular that I am more grateful and thankful for this holiday season. One thing more than anything else in the above list. Yes, I think honestly even more than my children....

My eyesight.

In a flash (literally) it was gone from my left eye. I could barely see any light through it.

After a failed "gluing" procedure done on my Perforated Cornea, that was "blown out" by a skin infection that went to my eye, and my own clumsiness, I required an emergency Corneal Transplant surgery. Even though my eye was still heavily infected. 

Really, it was a gamble. Either do it, and chance possible failure (rejection) and lose my whole eye. Or just take the eye and get it over with.

There is only one way to retrieve a cornea from another person's eye. That is to remove the cornea from a deceased donor who was gracious enough, and had a kind enough heart to donate their organs and/or their tissues after death.

Within not even a week after surgery, I had my first huge break through. For the first time in about two weeks, I was able to read the first big letter, and a second set of letters on the eye chart. I could see a hand waving their fingers from about two or three feet back. And I was able to discern light from dark. 

Now, I'm able to get the first maybe two or three lines of an eye chart. Believe me, my Periphrial vision and judgement on clearing things on my left side are still problematic. But I deal with it. It's especially hard if I have to wear my protective eye patch. But it's all worth it.

Because, thanks to a fellow human being's final act of love and kindness, I am able to watch with both eyes wide open, my children grow, be happy, and one day have their own children.

God had truly blessed me and my life. He has given me and my family something special this year. And it's a gift that I hope to have until He calls me home to be with Him. He sent me an angel that day. That angel is my Cornea Donor and their family. May the Lord bless them as He has blessed me.