An Angel In Disguise. (I have this friend...)

And she "gets" me. To a tee.

True, we are about ten years apart in age. She has all boys. I have two girls, and a boy in the middle (poor kid!). Her marriage to her husband has been longer than mine. And only one of her kids happen to be around the same age of my oldest two.

But we do have some things in common. One of them being that we both have sons with Special Needs. They are both deemed Bipolar (although due to my son's age, its aptly called 'Mood Disorder'). Plus my son has Tourette's tendencies (primarily the severe tics, pulling/twirling of hair, but no foul language spewing), OCD, ADHD, Anxiety Disorder and Manic Depression.

There are days where either one of us or even both of us are having one of those "crap-tastic" days with our boys. Add in the other two kids and it's a six-ring circus (because three rings wouldn't even BEGIN to cover it!). And we will end up venting to one another via the phone or on Instant Message on Facebook (though I do wish she would YIM instead...FB IM sucks!).

She is a Christian, but not overly Conservative. I myself am a Spiritual-Christian. She and I have many of the same thoughts and views on the subject. We do see differently on a few Christian subjects. But, that's what makes our conversations about it so nice.

We also both know how it is having to deal with the Manic Episodes, the nights where the boys get barely to no sleep because their brains just can't seem to unwind, even WITH their medicine (which they are both on the same nighttime medicine), the anger flare-ups, the high's and low's of emotional state when the Mania is taking over...The list is long and seemingly never ending.

Funny how angels just swoop down in to your life in the most surprising of ways. There were times that I utterly felt alone and isolated from the world. That no one will understand me, my struggles...or my son.

Then along came that angel. We "met" via a website for moms. And we instantly clicked. Since that day, we have been tighter than two over-grown sardines stuffed in a can.

What can I say? She is truly one of a kind. She knows me. She knows how I feel, what I am thinking and why. She is the jelly to my PB&J.

She is truly....my angel.

Mama Bear's claws are sharpened & drawn....My letter to State Officials in Virginia

Feb. 5, 2010

Dear Gov. McDonnel, Del. Garret, Rep. Goodlatte, Sen. Webb, Sen. Warner,

I am writing to you as to bring forth to your attention a great error in judgment, let alone compassion for the Common Wealth of Virginia's people.

My name is Melissa Cowart and I am a married, thirty-three year old mother who lives in Lynchburg, Virginia. Lynchburg happens to have the "subtitle" of being the "Heart of Virginia".

My top priority is being a mother, who happens to stay at home, to my three wonderful children. Their ages are ten, eight, and five years old. I have two girls, and a boy who is in the middle.

I'm sure that most, if not all of the gentlemen in this letter that I am addressing are fathers, if not even grandfathers to small children. Or you were at least at some point in your lives. So, you know through experience of the hardships that raising children can parenting 9or grand-parenting) can bring.

But do any one of you TRULY know the hardships of raising a child with "Silent Disabilities". Disabilities that require not only mental or behavioral therapies, but drug therapies as well? I do.

My son, the eight year old has is "Silently Disabled". You cannot tell just by looking or glancing at him that he is legally disabled. That is until he is a Manic fit, his attention wanes to nearly nothing, his focusing and social skills are being impacted, or he has such a violent rage (both emotionally, as well as physically) that you end up on the floor yourself crying along with him.

Because of these problems, not only does my son require behavior and psychological therapy. He also requires medication therapy. Currently, he is on two forms of medication treatment.

One being Seroquel. It is for his Manic Depression, Mood Disorder management, and to help him sleep at night. Or else, he is up ALL night long.

The other is Vyvanse. It is to help him with his ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). And this is the drug he needs to help him focus, pay attention, be able to sit still and quietly (as possible). And it helps his hyperactivity lessen as to carry on more normal and healthy social relationships with his peers.

Sadly, as I sat in my son's Psychiatric appointment on 2/4/2010, I was informed that the branch of Medicaid my son receives, CareNet is unwilling to provide coverage to fill prescriptions for the drug, Vyvanse.

So, when it comes time to fill his prescription for this particular medication (which is nearing very soon), his claim for filing with CareNet will be denied. In turn, I will not be able to get my son's Vyvanse. I CANNOT afford to pay out-of-pocket, (approximately) $250-300.00 for a 30-day supply.

Then, I will have to ask the pharmacy to send in a request for Pre-Authorization to my son's prescribing doctor to "beg" CareNet to let my child have his medication. If that course of action fails, then the doctor will have to call the insurance carrier and do a "round-about" in the hopes of letting my son get his medicine in that fashion.

Do any of you gentlemen have children that are in need of daily medication? Do any of you have (or had at one time) a child like my son? Do you know what it's like to care for a child such as my son?

If you did, then I am very sure that you would never let drug companies and insurance companies (State or Private) bounce "kick-backs" off of one another. Nor would you let the Insurance Company deny YOUR child the medication and/or care that they require to function in a more "normal capacity" that fits within the guidelines of how society as a whole views one another.

I'm not a College-educated individual. I did not graduate High School in the "old fashioned way". I received a GED in my early 20's. But by golly, I am smart enough to know when the government is trying to pocket money, give less to take more and in the end hurt those that they serve.

My son, and countless other children, as well as us parents deserve BETTER treatment. By the medical industry, the pharmaceutical industry, and most of all, by our Government. Our children deserve better.

Our children deserve to have ALL of their needs met. Medical and otherwise. Including their drug therapy.

Make CareNet place Vyvanse back on their coverage so that children such as my son can get the best out of his education, his social skills and his overall general life.

No child deserves to be "left behind".

Sincerely,
Melissa A. Cowart  (Lynchburg, Virginia)

My son is no different from your kid (THANKS ANGEL FOR THE INSPIRATION)

When you see my son, what do you see? Do you see the happiness he can have most of the time? Do you see that he can be sly at any given moment? Do you see how much he loves his family?

Can you see that my son is Bipolar, with OCD, ADHD, Asperger's Tendensies, Anxiety Disorder and Behavior Disorder?

When our children with these 'problems' have an 'off" day of lashing out and being 'abnormal', it is OUR normal. We have gotten used to the stares and whispers out in the public eye. Especially when an episode from the Mania he experiences just suddenly pops up during a shopping trip or other outting.

Sure all is fine and good with the world around us....Until it happens. Bryce's eyes glaze over in a "haze" and get a more sharp tone. His voice is quiet. His movement almost at a stand still. Then it happens. OUTBURST!

Next thing I know, I am having to take Bryce off to the side to talk him down, maybe even bear hug him from behind. Otherwise he is going to try and knock things over, run off, or hit someone (mainly me or his sisters).

And this is where the world's judges come in. They gawk and stare at the "evil" little boy and the parents that obviously can't "control" their kid. They see that as one of us is dealing with Bryce, the other is trying to maintain calmness with Hayley and Skyler, as to not have them feel upset or embarrassed.

Once everything is said and done, the calm comes as the storm passes. And everything is as it once was before the Episode hit. And yes, these can occur at ANY given moment at ANY time of day, in ANY place (even in the home).

What you see as an "outsider" looking in though is NOT what I see. I don't see the "evil" little child that is unruly and needs his "ass whipped more often".

What I personally see as Bryce's mother, and Scott sees in his son as the boy's father is the potential that our son has to become a normal and productive member of society.

Bryce is in mainstream classes at school. And in ADVANCED Math and Reading classes.

He has friends and a 'social life'.

Bryce loves to play games on the computer and his sister's DS.

My boy is a Spongebob junkie.

He has a wonderful talent for knowing about Astronomy.

But Bryce also requires monthly Psychiatric sessions because to help curb MOST of the symptoms of all of his disabilities, he needs medication. And to be sure that the medicines are working properly, there are no adverse affects, and that he is overall doing well, he must see a "Shrink".

Okay, yes I said that I "drug" my kid. But, there are SO MANY misconceptions about the medications that are given to Psychiatric patients. Especially those given to children.

My son is not a "zombie'. He is not "foaming at the mouth" or listless. He is functioning at a better rate for his age THANKS TO those drugs. And it helps curb the ideals for him to go and get a hammer or knife and hold it up at me, all the while saying he is GOING TO KILL ME.

Yep, that's actually happened a few times over the years. Why do you think I have to keep the tool room locked? Mainly with the hammer. I don't remember him ever trying it with a knife.

What this is all boiling down to is that for parents such as myself, we are tired of "professionals" telling us what we do or do not know. No one knows our children better than us. And when we cry out for help, we EXPECT someone to be there, listen and do RIGHT by our kids. Not pass us off and think that they 'know' our children. When that happens, dangerous or even fatal errors can occur.

Same goes for society as well. When you see a parent dealing with an "evil little brat", don't assume that the kid is just a 'bad seed' and the parent is just not "parenting right". Look at the scene a little closer. Try for a second to put yourself in their shoes. Because their child might be Special too.

Hidden Disabilities get the most "heat" in this nation and passed off by the general public more than it should be. It's time to stand back and get to know the person before judging them. They are human too and all they ask for, like anyone else is some compassion, understanding, and caring.

It was a great evening! That is until....

As I had stated in a previous post, my son suffers from ADHD. But he also has a Mood Disorder, Axiety Disorder, and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

Due to all of these mental problems, he is also mentally immature. Let's just say that I have two four-year olds in my house. Only, one is really eight in chronological and biological aspects.

Today was my oldest daughter's birthday. She is now ten years old. That's right! The big 1-0!! And we took her out to a buffet restaurant named Golden Corral Buffet, which was her choice.

Her "big gift" from us was a Nintendo DS. I got the original version as a "test run" to see how responsible she will be with such a "grown up" piece of private property. She about knocked me out of the chair after opening it.

When we were coming home, Scott, my husband and I knew what would soon happen. And sure enough, like clock work, it did. Bryce had a meltdown because Hayley got "special stuff" and he didn't.

He was fussing, crying, carrying on. As if he was a toddler not getting his way. He kept on saying he doesn't get anything today, but Hayley did, so it's not fair.

We have been constantly letting him know that he will be getting a "special thing" at Christmas. Plus, on his birthday, only HE will get presents. No one else.

As of now, he has calmed down a bit. But he is still pretty upset that the world has revolved around someone other than him. And I think that to Bryce, that is worse than not getting things on Hayley's special day.