WOW! This blog is from LAST SUMMER where I posted it on my blog page at MySpace. These days now are NOT AS bad, but we still have times where I have the same problems.
Read on, if you wish. But be mindful, at this point in time last year, I was struggling. So was Bryce, and the rest of the family. So in the end, I was (unintentionally) biting heads off. But with good reasons. Both Bryce and I were in a dark place where his problems are concerned.
It's filled with some adult language, and much anger. I am the type that I don't mind advice. But I refuse to be EXPECTED to take it (and use it). Especially from someone that CLEARLY knows NOTHING about my son's conditions, our our life of dealing with them.....
June 28, 2009 - Sunday
Blog Title : Let me give YOU a lesson on what it's like for kids like mine and our families...
As a mother of 3 and a mom of a child with ADHD and a host of other mental disorders I can say that yes, we DO tell these kids "no". And at times have to PHYSICALLY redirect them.
Doesn't always work. Sorry.
They can be VERY manipulative and obviously sneaky.
Thanks for your *ahem* advice anyways to those who love to give it when not even asked for their opinions on the subject matter.
**I love how those that DON'T live with kids like ours thinks that they know all there is in how to *control* them to be PERFECT.**
I have our tool room locked, thanks to my son threatening to KILL ME more than once by bludgeoning me with a hammer.
And my attic door is locked, thanks to him constantly going up there, where it is a dangerous area to be and getting in to things after being told REPEATEDLY to not go up there.
If things don't change soon, we MIGHT have to PAD LOCK all my doors to leave my home due to his running off, jumping off my balcony and running up under a bridge where trains go through SEVERAL times a day.
Anyone that thinks that they can do better with MY child, I extend an invitation to let you keep my kid for ONE MONTH and see just how much progress you make with YOUR way of "straightening" him out and be able to have self-control, less aggression and not be so defiant and have more attention span.
Sound like a deal?
By around 4 PM, my son's Vyvanse wears off. It only works for a set number of hours. And it isn't meant to be taken more than once a day. In the morning, when you need them to focus and be attentive during the daytime.
Vyvanse can make a child lose their appetite for the most part. And instead of eating when they are SUPPOSED to, even with constant coaxing, they will at most times sneak in the middle of the night to the kitchen and get out food and eat when THEY feel hungry enough to eat.
That is one of the huge drawbacks with this and other ADHD medicines. They can severely affect the hunger center of the brain while helping the area that controls impulsivity and attention. It really is a Catch-22.
Where meal time is concerned and the fact that my son more times than not, refuses to eat because he is "not hungry" at meal time (knowing he had NOTHINGin between meals but a few drinks of water, milk or low sugar juice), no matter what was fixed, in my house, if you cook it, then they must eat at least SOME of it. I'm not cooking to cater to suit each individual taste. I am cooking for the family as a WHOLE.
For kids like ours speaking of mine, that are on a medicine that acutly decreases the appetite center of the brain, we must "force" them to eat their meals. And also, they thrive on incentives.
So, if they eat at least 1/2 their meal at dinner, then they get a HEALTHY snack later that evening. That may contain (like for MY family) a small juice box and a granola bar, fruit cereal bar or a small bag of BAKED chips.
Some kids like ours will try to manipulate and "run the show" to ensure that they are getting what THEY (the CHILD) wants.
So, as their parent, we have to have the upper hand and enforce stricter than normal rules upon our child.If that means no extra food (a TREAT) for not complying with OUR rules about eating meals, then so be it.
Don't just assume that our kids get junk food. Because in about 90% of the cases where they are sneaking and hoarding (and hiding) their food, the parents are trying their best and their HARDEST to maintain a HEALTHY lifestyle of eating and portioning.
NO CHILD should have to feel like they aren't "being fed" well enough. And parents of children like ours (mine and the OP) are doing ALL that we can to ensure that our children have the best nutrition and that their nutritional needs ARE being met.It's nowhere near an easy job for us.
And it is especially hard on our kids. Because they honestly CANNOT help how they are or how their brain functions. But not only do their disorder severely affect them, they affect the family as a WHOLE.
Honestly, I have lost count as to how many times my son has (almost severely) hurt either of my two girls. One is 17 months older, the other 3 YEARS younger than him. My son is 8.
Much of the time it's because his impulses say he "needs" a certain toy or other item that they have, so if he doesn't get what "his brain tells him to get", then he acts out violently and basically makes the sister give up the said item. By causing them pain to make them let go and so he can snatch it and take it away.
Right now, my son is is in Intensive In-Home Therapy. And at it's highest level of services. Crisis Intervention. Because he is half a hair away from being placed in a specialized facility to house him and help him more than what we as his parents and the IIHT can do.
Believe me. we have tried everything possible. Yes, from spanking down to time-outs, to taking things away, and grounding.As of this time, we are trying a points system. He has to earn a set amount in five areas of compliance.
If he gets the minimum goal, my son gets ONE privilege of his choice. If he gets a little higher, he gets TWO of them of his choosing. If he makes the full amount of points, then my son can have ALL of his privileges if he chooses so.
But, if he falls BELOW the minimum allowance, then he gets NOTHING. No privileges at all.
So far, even though he is trying to butt heads with me and testing me to see if I will break, the system has thus far been working. I think his seeing his progress and knowing what the deal is, it's finally making some headway. But, it's still early in the game.
Try being up constantly to tell your kid to go back to sleep (knowing he has YET to close the peepers) from 11 PM til around 4 AM.
All because he didn't get his Trazodone for the night. His brain is CONSTANTLY active. It can't "go to sleep" and rest without medical intervention. How he does it, I have no idea.
And being that his brain is so active, losing physical sleep does NOT affect his ability to learn. It primarily affects his moods and compliance with authority figures. Mainly of the FEMALE variety.
Well, now that you have been informed of what I and MANY other parents go through on a DAILY basis with our Special Needs kids with mental disorders, does it honestly sound easy or like that there is a "quick fix" to all of the problems that the kids and us as their parents have to endure?
If you still say YES, then I will let you have my son, WITHOUT his medications and see how easy it is for you to "tame" him and break him as if he is a wild animal.
Some people really amaze me and other moms and dads like myself as to how they view our kids, us as parents and show how IGNORANT of the facts that they really are. It's sad, really.
If anyone should be pitied, it's those types of people. Not us.
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What is written in this blog, is of the author's own originality. It contains the sole views, thoughts, and stories of this blog's author.