Then, go and throw in the ex-husband to the mix, and it's an all-out "stressed nerves" fiesta.
I'm making good on my promise to myself. And that is to no longer let him push me around and take advantage of me.
While I have no problem of letting Hayley go with him more often than the "scheduled" time per the court's visitation order, I do not wish to send her on EVERY single "off" Saturday.
And I'm tired of every scheduled weekend of his calling me (like clock work) to see about coming to MY home and getting her BEFORE the allotted time because he "needs to come in to town and do a few things".
The one right above with his wanting to get her early is what broke the camel's back yesterday for me. I finally put my foot down on the subject and said enough is ENOUGH with getting her early every single weekend he is supposed to get her.
Basically, I said from now on it's at the SCHEDULED time, and at the SCHEDULED (and court appointed) place. No sooner. And I admitted that it was a habit that no longer will be tolerated. That is unless there is an EMERGENCY. I rarely ever pick her up or drop her off at HIS home. But he thinks I'll let him do it every single visitation weekend.
Needless to say. he wasn't too happy. And I told Hayley that if he brings it up and the fact that her mom is a "bitch" and hateful, to stop him dead in his tracks and that to no longer talk to HER about it because it's NONE of her business.
Yes, it concerns our daughter. But it doesn't mean that it concerns HER personally. And he has no right to drag her in to the middle. Let him be mad at me. But he has no right and no business to vent to her about it. She's only eleven.
Next weekend, if he calls to see about getting her to go to dinner or a movie on Saturday, I'll be okay with it. But again, I'll be pissing him off. Why? Because, it will then be known to him that I will only give him ONE extra Saturday a month.
Why? Because again, he tries to take advantage. He will and has been known to call me EVERY single "off schedule" Saturday to see about taking her out. Apparently I don't want to spend quality time on the weekends with her, too? Especially when all three kids are together.
I know that I may sound harsh, or even mean. But I wasn't given SOLE full, physical custody of our daughter for no particular reason. And with that, I'm the one that makes the FINAL decisions in regards to her care, safety and well being.
And to consistently call me every single weekend to either get her early because he is putting HIS wants and/or needs before his own child to constitutes to being very selfish, inconsiderate and honestly, immature.
I'm not trying to keep him away from her, or vice versa. But I too like having time to spend with her on the weekends as well. And especially now that on some weekends that she is with me, she spends the night at a friend's house, and is starting to not be as "clingy" to me as she was at the younger ages (like her six-year-old sister still is "needy" of Mama). Plus add in the school hours every week. So if wishing to spend time with ALL THREE of my children makes me a "bitch" or "hateful" in his eyes, then so be it.
Now that you have heard my rant, go over to FOR THE LOVE OF BLOGS and "wander" around. You will surely find other blogs of interest. It's a WONDERFUL community. And they also now have GROUPS, as well as CHAT ROOM access for MEMBERS to join.