Oops! The Ex Did It Again...

First, I got to correct a HUGE mistake that could have potentially harmed my son, thanks to a major screw up at our Pharmacy. To read all about that, CLICK HERE.

Then, go and throw in the ex-husband to the mix, and it's an all-out "stressed nerves" fiesta.

I'm making good on my promise to myself. And that is to no longer let him push me around and take advantage of me.

While I have no problem of letting Hayley go with him more often than the "scheduled" time per the court's visitation order, I do not wish to send her on EVERY single "off" Saturday.

And I'm tired of every scheduled weekend of his calling me (like clock work) to see about coming to MY home and getting her BEFORE the allotted time because he "needs to come in to town and do a few things".

The one right above with his wanting to get her early is what broke the camel's back yesterday for me. I finally put my foot down on the subject and said enough is ENOUGH with getting her early every single weekend he is supposed to get her.

Basically, I said from now on it's at the SCHEDULED time, and at the SCHEDULED (and court appointed) place. No sooner. And I admitted that it was a habit that no longer will be tolerated. That is unless there is an EMERGENCY. I rarely ever pick her up or drop her off at HIS home. But he thinks I'll let him do it every single visitation weekend.

Needless to say. he wasn't too happy. And I told Hayley that if he brings it up and the fact that her mom is a "bitch" and hateful, to stop him dead in his tracks and that to no longer talk to HER about it because it's NONE of her business.

Yes, it concerns our daughter. But it doesn't mean that it concerns HER personally. And he has no right to drag her in to the middle. Let him be mad at me. But he has no right and no business to vent to her about it. She's only eleven.

Next weekend, if he calls to see about getting her to go to dinner or a movie on Saturday, I'll be okay with it. But again, I'll be pissing him off. Why? Because, it will then be known to him that I will only give him ONE extra Saturday a month.

Why? Because again, he tries to take advantage. He will and has been known to call me EVERY single "off schedule" Saturday to see about taking her out. Apparently I don't want to spend quality time on the weekends with her, too? Especially when all three kids are together.

I know that I may sound harsh, or even mean. But I wasn't given SOLE full, physical custody of our daughter for no particular reason. And with that, I'm the one that makes the FINAL decisions in regards to her care, safety and well being.

And to consistently call me every single weekend to either get her early because he is putting HIS wants and/or needs before his own child to constitutes to being very selfish, inconsiderate and honestly, immature.

I'm not trying to keep him away from her, or vice versa. But I too like having time to spend with her on the weekends as well. And especially now that on some weekends that she is with me, she spends the night at a friend's house, and is starting to not be as "clingy" to me as she was at the younger ages (like her six-year-old sister still is "needy" of Mama). Plus add in the school hours every week. So if wishing to spend time with ALL THREE of my children makes me a "bitch" or "hateful" in his eyes, then so be it.

Now that you have heard my rant, go over to FOR THE LOVE OF BLOGS and "wander" around. You will surely find other blogs of interest. It's a WONDERFUL community. And they also now have GROUPS, as well as CHAT ROOM access for MEMBERS to join.

Stupid Ex! Try Playing Me Again, Fool.

I swear, there are days that I wish the man would fall in to a fiery pit.

This is definitely one of those days, too.

We've been separated for almost eleven years and divorced for ten (papers arrived in my hands via mail on my birthday of 2000). My oldest child is the child from our marriage. And the ONLY good and positive thing that came from our hellish bond of matrimony.

This morning, my cell was on our night stand in my bedroom. After two calls that were about fifteen minutes apart, my husband brought my phone to me and I called back, thinking that Hayley needed me for something.

So, I called, and her father picks up. I asked if everything was okay, and this is when he proceeds to claim that our daughter wanted to ask me something. I was already prepared to say no, seeing as she has now had four straight weekends, plus two of them being connected by a full week over at his home,it was time for her to come home and stay home.

The only reason she is there this weekend is that for technical and legal reasons, this is his visitation weekend.

After getting her on the phone, I asked her what the question she wanted to ask me was, being that her dad said SHE wanted to ask me "something". Then a pause came and she then says she doesn't know what I'm speaking of and wanted to ask me nothing. So, I told her to put her dad on the line.

I told him that she had NO idea what I was talking about and that if HE has something to ask me, then do so HIMSELF.

Sure enough it was to see if she could stay a "few extra days". NOPE! Right off the bat. I told him she has to come home and spend time with her brother and sister.

It seems the more he realizes I see through his manipulations, the using of my kid that we share and his schemes, the more slick he tries to become.

And honestly, I think this is the lowest form of manipulation. The intentional placement of your child in the middle of their two parents as to hopefully gain what YOU want, not what the CHILD wants.

First it was automatically (without notice or permission) showing up at MY home to pick up or drop Hayley off (which is AGAINST court order, seeing as BOTH parties did NOT agree).

Then, it was wanting to get her "here and there" to take her to the movies. That now started becoming an every-other-week thing (on his 'off' weekends). I stopped letting it be a habit a few weeks ago.

Now, he is going to use our daughter as a scape goat and bold face LIE to me, as he uses her? I do not think so! That ends right here, right NOW.

He's playing with fire. And I can bet you 100%, the man WILL get burned. I know the crap he can be possible of. He can try to screw with me all he wants to.

But I REFUSE, flat out, to let him use my daughter and force her in to the middle.

Then again, I'm sure in her own way, she is starting to see what her "Sperm Donor" is REALLY like.