It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas! (PIC Heavy!)

Well, it is officially CHRISTMAS in my house. Just take a look through these pictures, and you will see just what I mean.

Time Has Passed & It's Almost Time Again.. (Picture-filled post!)

Now you are probably sitting here, reading that title and wondering, "what in the world is this chick talking about with this wacky riddle?!".

On November 18th, my oldest of the three kids had turned twelve years old. Yes, she is one more year closer to the dreaded tag known as "teenager". All in all though, with her maturity level (both mentally, as well as physically) she is more like a fourteen year old.

I'm thirty-five. She is twelve. I am 100 pounds on the nose. She last weighed in at 98. I am five feet tall. She is too. I don't have a set of "boobage". She does.

Basically, if you were to ask her thoughts about all this "you're as tall as your Mama" talk, that may just be what she would do to me after snickering. Like she did in the doctor's office when he asked how old I was, when discussing reading glasses.

As for the second part of the answer to my awesome riddle-title...

The youngest of the three "angels" of mine will be turning seven years old on Monday. Hard to believe. Already, seven years have just up and flown past like a speeding NASCAR racer doing 250 on the inside stretch.

In many ways she is taking after her big sister. She looks up to her (especially being that Big Sissy is about a foot and a half or so taller than her lol) and severely misses her when my oldest has to go on bi-weekly visits with her biological father.

Both of my girls have shown me (albeit the hard way) just what all it had taken my parents to raise me. Raging hormones, attitudes, "Princess-tude".

And thank God, the oldest (who now wears makeup), puts it on and still looks natural, but accentuates her features. Especially those beautiful blue eyes of her's.

At the end of the day, no matter how old they get, and no matter how tall they grow, they will ALWAYS be the apple of their Daddy's eye. My husband may not be my oldest's biological father with not a shred of DNA shared between them, but she is HIS, and he will tell you that to your face.

The little one is so wrapped around her Dad's finger, it's not funny. Okay. It is. But geez! And I thought that I got away with "murder" as a kid. Wrong. I kind of wish I could do that "Freaky Friday" thing and trade places with her for about 24 hours and enjoy some of the (tons of) freedom that she gets.

This past Summer's trip to Richmond has been one of the best I think that we have enjoyed as a family. And now, with all three of my kids growing up, and inching ever so much closer to being teens and "big kids", I find myself reflecting more on the Summers past, when the kids were so innocent, that it never seemed like we as parents would have to deal with more than scraped knees and the occasional "she/he took my toy".

To those of you with "young" (as in under the age of eight years old), take my advice and heed it well. Cherish EVERY single moment with your child(ren). Relish in each hug and kiss (yes, even the open-mouthed baby ones!). Enjoy the fanciness of every tea party and doll playtime.

The young years fly by faster than a Santa Ana wind.

UPDATE on Good Reads group..

First off, I'd like to congratulate my oldest daughter for making it in to her school's Book Club. They already have their first book to read and will be meeting after school once a week to discuss the stories and whatnot. She had to get at least 25 AR (Accelerated Reading) points. She made it just past the minimum amount.

Now, onward to the Good Reads group. I had initially made a "book club" for those moms that stay at home with their kids, being that I am one myself. But I noticed that even with the "re-vamp" of certain things to make it more active and organized, still, I had no real activity in there.

Now, I have opened the book club group to ALL mothers and grandmothers (and that includes Foster Mothers!). It is aptly now called Mom's Book Club.

Here is the description of the group, taken from the area of the site it's self..

"If you are a Mother (or Grandmother, a Foster Mother, or an aunt with minor children living with you that you are guardianship over) and love to read, then come on inside and join us!

We talk about books and everyday life, have an entertainment/Hollywood Buzz section and other areas to talk and maybe make a new friend or two.

Lots to see. Lots to talk about. Especially BOOKS! "

If this sounds like a group for you, then PLEASE click on the group's link, and click JOIN under the group's Profile Avatar.

I've lost a couple of moms that are SAH ladies. But that's okay. I see it as being "their loss" to making potential friends and finding some great new reads.

And I am currently working on a Stephen King/Peter Straub collaboration, "Black House". I also had bought a John Grisham book, as well as a couple of others today over at the Good Will.

Have a great day, and I hope to see you join me over at Good Reads, and in the Mom's Book Club group.

Memories Of The Past, Memories In The Making

I'm eight years old, and it is officially the first day of school. I'm off to First Grade in Mrs. Bartley's class. I'm all ready to go in my white, ruffle-neck dress shirt, my purple overalls with the yellow tulip on the front, and my pigtails upon my head.

Being it's no more than a seven-minute walk to school, and back then, my area was pretty darn safe, my parents started out on the journey to my new school along side me, with Sarah, our Corgi. They stopped at the corner of the next street over from us and let me finish the walk on my own. As a big girl.

I remember vaguely, as I turned my head to see my parents still standing there at the corner, after I crossed the street, then crossed to the opposite corner at the end of the block. They waved to me, my dog looking sad and in wonderment of where her "sister" is going off to without her. My mom, I saw wiping tears from her eyes, trying not to fall apart, as most of us mothers do when their babies start trying out their wings.

After waving good-bye and walking out of their sight, I can only imagine how Mom fell apart, and how Dad had to console her on that "lonely" walk back to the house after I made the rest of my way off to school that beautifully warm and sunny morning.

But that would also be the last time she would ever see me take that "big leap" in growing up. Ever. Because the year before I was to start Junior High/Middle School, my mother had passed away after having suffered from a massive stroke and pneumonia.

Yesterday (Thursday, August 18th) my oldest had her Middle School orientation to take a dry run at finding her classes, knowing how to get in to her locker, meet her teachers and to learn the rules.

She has to get on the bus now, about an hour earlier than before, when she attended Elementary School. And she is fine with that. Because she also now gets out about an hour earlier than her siblings.

As my daughter waited outside at the bus stop (which for her, is now across the street) I had the flashbacks. I saw her as a tiny girl again, just starting Preschool. She and I waited for the bus at the top of the hill near our former home. She was SO excited. And I watched as she clomped up each step with her short, stubby little legs, and her huge backpack on her back, as she boarded the bus. It took all that I had to not just lose it right then and there.

Yesterday, it hit me. Not only am I seeing my little girl, my first born, grow up before my very eyes into what will be a stunningly beautiful young woman, but I am witnessing something my mother never was able to have the chance to, and never will. Not with myself, and not with her grandchildren.

I was VERY close to my oldest daughter's age when I lost my mother. And I am only about eight and a half years younger than my mother's age when she died. It pains me to know that my mother has had to miss out on SO much. My marriage. My kids. How I have grown and matured. My overcoming of many medical obstacles.

While I feel blessed and fortunate to be here to see and experience the wonders of my children as they each make their own headway in the world and leave their own marks on the world, it still saddens me that I didn't get the chance to have my mom see all that I can.

So, I guess in a way, I am living life and experiencing these things for the both of us. And I often times wonder what Mom would say, think or do. What would she say about how my life has turned out? What would she say about the man that I married or how I am raising and rearing my children?

Sadly, those are questions that will forever haunt me and be left unanswered. And to this day, it is still hard for me to come to terms with that fact.

I'm Not, I can't

I act happy. But I'm not.

I sound excited. But I'm not.

I say that I'm ready to. But I'm not.

I say that it's indeed time. But for me, it's not.

The tears I try to choke back and hide lay beneath the surface. Like a raging water fall. It feels like the first time all over again. In what seems like the not-too-distant past.

She is growing up. I can't stop it.

She is maturing. I can't stop it.

Before I know it, she will be out in the vast world on her own. Not too many years left. And the years that are bygone, as are the ones to come, have passed or will pass as a thief in the night, all too quickly.

Now, Middle School years are upon us. She is no longer a little girl. Not yet a "young woman", but caught in the middle.

The smile, chuckles and the silly exclamations from me are just a facade. My way of coping with the realities of life as a mother to a girl who is growing rapidly before my eyes.

Inside, I rage. My heart hurts. I wonder if so far I have REALLY given it my all to her, and indeed gave her the tools she will need for the next chapter of her life.

In the end though, I can't let her go. I'm not ready.

Picture Perfect w/For The Love of Blogs

(Taken last month (July,2011) at a theme park. Times like this, we cherish when all three can be TRUE brother and sisters, being that due to my son's mental issues, they don't always have the best relationship among themselves.)

Thought I'd Update

Hello, Readers! Thought I'd pop in for a few moments and let you all know that I am always thinking of you guys and I hope that the Summertime is treating you and your family all well.

Any plans this year? Or have you already taken trips that you decided on?

Well, so far, so good here in my world. Summer days are bit muggy lately, so it makes for awful hot days. My son is enjoying his Day Treatment Camp time (goes Monday through Thursday, during the day, only).

My oldest who is going in to Middle School this Fall has made ALL Advanced courses, and was accepted/invited to attend a "gifted program" school for her grade range, where they have science labs such as a Lazerarium, Terrariums with different exotic pets (including an iguana and a couple of bearded dragons) and a "hands on" petting fish tank.

My youngest is starting first grade and is pretty apprehensive. But I know she will adjust quickly once she really gets to know her teacher (who is a LOVELY lady who LOVES her job and her students).

Here's a few pictures of some recent past adventures of Summer... And of how big our Bearded Dragon, Gobi is getting since I last posted about him.

Well, soon, we will have LOTS more pictures coming, thanks to our annual trek to King's Dominion coming up. Talk to you all again soon. I can't wait to be back on here more regularly. I'm still on my "hiatus", but wanted to let you all know that I'm still alive and am enjoying myself. Have a great rest of the Summer and I'll "read" you all again very soon.

Wordless Wednesday...Just Like Her Mama!