I have been blogging for at least the last three years. Maybe even more than that. But I'm not one for keeping count.
Over these last few years, I have discovered some really neat blogs, and wonderfully crafted Bloggers. Some armature. Some went "pro". And some fall right in between the middle.
I've followed or read ALL kinds of topics from bloggers. From being a stay-home-parent, all the way to giveaways, and in between, some things like topics of the Paranormal, poetry, and fan fiction.
Today, I wish to bring to you (yes including a couple of my other blog pages, too) some Bloggers who spin their crafty words on to their pages from ALL types of blogging topics. Please indeed do take some time and check them out.
A Tall Drink of Sweet Tea (A little bit of everything)
Holly's House...not a perfect mom's blog... (That name should say it all! lol... And I thought my kids were nutso. WARNED! Explicit language)
Narragansett No. 7 (A pro writer, giving a funny look in to the everyday life of being a parent... WARNED! Explicit language)
Another Cookie, Please (What started as a chronicle of her mother's battle with illness turned in to a page filled with all kinds of tidbits and her no-nonsense take of the world around her.)
Living for the Dream~Teri Drost PhotoArt (A BRAND NEW blog page! Features wonderfully captivating and beautiful photography art. From nature to reptiles, Terii snaps them all!)
The Blindo Diaries (Advice for those fighting and/or living with blindness. From someone who's there.)
Parga's Junkyard (Giveaways, coupons, shopping tips, reviews, recipes)
Now, being the gracious Hostess that I am, and because my Mama taught me better, I have saved MY links for last. I urge you to check these out, also. I have so many pages to write in because I wanted to keep my topics (for the most part) organized and more readily available to my readers and my potential readers.
Poetic Thoughts (Blog of poems that either are originals by me, or credited to famous authors.)
Through A Looking Glass (Educational. My life as a person that had a Corneal Transplant)
ParanorMel (All about the subject of the Paranormal. Primarily ghosts, hauntings, and my own experiences, and those of my family.)
The "Mental"-ist Mom (Talking about my life as a parent of a child deemed disabled by his many mental disorders. I also talk about the Disability Community in general, as well.)
As you can see from this list, there is indeed SOMETHING for not just one or two types of interest groups. But there is something for EVERYONE to (hopefully) enjoy. And I hope that you have found something that you may have been looking for.
Depending on the popularity of this post, comments/reactions to it and if there are any requests, I may do another one of these in the future. And hopefully, with a MUCH longer list of blog links.
My work is ORIGINAL...Don't be a thief.
What is written in this blog, is of the author's own originality. It contains the sole views, thoughts, and stories of this blog's author.
Showing posts with label disability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disability. Show all posts
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday, November 29, 2010
Handicap Parking & The "Not So" Disabled
I know a while back somewhere along the line, I had touched on this subject. But seeing as I hate "recycling" posts and honestly, I really don't wish to go through my previous 192 posts to find the sucker, I shall write about Handicap Parking Spaces...again.
Thanks to someone I follow on Twitter, who shall remain nameless (and genderless) as to protect their identity, the subject has once more come to me, especially with Christmas shopping in full swing and the fact that some shoppers can be real humbugs about parking lots and parking spaces.
My Mother and Father-In-Law both have poor health. Primarily my Mother-In-Law. She has Systemic Lupus. Systemic Lupus affects all the main organs (including lungs and heart), as well as muscles throughout the body. She literally is drained even after a short shopping trip for groceries. It doesn't take much for her to tire out or to bruise, or get sore throughout her body.
When she goes to public places, she parks in Handicap stalls. She looks fine. She walks fine. She sees and hears just fine. She walks (for the most part) fine. But indeed, she IS legally disabled.
No one can see (unless you REALLY know her, or of her condition) her internal handicap. Her illness that is tucked within her own body.
So, when she climbs out of her van and starts walking "normally" in to the store, I have been witness to a few stares and sneers. People in general think that she is just being lazy.
Yes, she is heavy set (not fat), but that is NOT due to being "lazy" or over eating, seeing as she has to watch her intake, due to her Colostomy Bag (that she craps in to, having only two INCHES of her colon, thanks to cancer). The Lupus plays with your weight as well.
And it can mess up her breathing. After a while, you can hear her breaths get heavier, as she tires. Hence why her trips to the store are as minimal as she can make them.
When I was little (as in a toddler), I was allowed to be on "Day Trips" from the hospital (for new readers, I didn't go home until I was almost 3 YEARS old, due to many medical problems at birth). My parents had a Handicap Sticker to use when I was with them, seeing as I had to have my medical equipment close by in the car in case I had a breathing situation (a suctioning machine for my trache).
An elderly lady called the police on my parents (I know I spoke of this last time lol) because she didn't see where any of us were handicapped and "required" a spot for those that were REALLY handicapped.
Needless to say, my parents were caught off guard when a Police Officer side stepped them inside the store and let them know what was transpiring. After hearing this, my mother took me (in the cart) and walked off to "cool down" after eying the lady that made the report.
My poor dad. He had to take the officer outside and SHOW HIM the equipment, sitting there on the floorboard of the back seat area of the car. The Police Officer thanked him and apologized for the intrusion and the trouble (as well as the embarrassment) that the situation caused.
After going back inside, the officer pulled the lady aside and let her have it for being a nosy old bag. He even took HER to see that INDEED I was LEGALLY afforded that spot and why. Also, she got a better look at ME, sitting in the cart and started to cry (by my understanding of what my dad said), all the while apologizing to my parents.
My mother walked off without accepting the apology, due to the humiliation and the rudeness of the woman in the first place. Plus, it kept Mom from wanting to punch the old woman (by what was told).
So, the next time you see someone parking in a designated Handicap spot, don't be so quick to judge by their outward appearance. You don't know their full medical history and what may be going on internally.
Believe me when I say that there are days when I really wish I had a sticker/plate due to my son and his "outbursts" (due to his mental disorders that LEGALLY make him 'disabled' by our state) that he has. I'd be able to get him out of where we are and out to the car MUCH quicker when an episode hits. Most of the time, we are parked most of the way towards the end of the lot area. Just my luck I guess.
Thanks to someone I follow on Twitter, who shall remain nameless (and genderless) as to protect their identity, the subject has once more come to me, especially with Christmas shopping in full swing and the fact that some shoppers can be real humbugs about parking lots and parking spaces.
My Mother and Father-In-Law both have poor health. Primarily my Mother-In-Law. She has Systemic Lupus. Systemic Lupus affects all the main organs (including lungs and heart), as well as muscles throughout the body. She literally is drained even after a short shopping trip for groceries. It doesn't take much for her to tire out or to bruise, or get sore throughout her body.
When she goes to public places, she parks in Handicap stalls. She looks fine. She walks fine. She sees and hears just fine. She walks (for the most part) fine. But indeed, she IS legally disabled.
No one can see (unless you REALLY know her, or of her condition) her internal handicap. Her illness that is tucked within her own body.
So, when she climbs out of her van and starts walking "normally" in to the store, I have been witness to a few stares and sneers. People in general think that she is just being lazy.
Yes, she is heavy set (not fat), but that is NOT due to being "lazy" or over eating, seeing as she has to watch her intake, due to her Colostomy Bag (that she craps in to, having only two INCHES of her colon, thanks to cancer). The Lupus plays with your weight as well.
And it can mess up her breathing. After a while, you can hear her breaths get heavier, as she tires. Hence why her trips to the store are as minimal as she can make them.
When I was little (as in a toddler), I was allowed to be on "Day Trips" from the hospital (for new readers, I didn't go home until I was almost 3 YEARS old, due to many medical problems at birth). My parents had a Handicap Sticker to use when I was with them, seeing as I had to have my medical equipment close by in the car in case I had a breathing situation (a suctioning machine for my trache).
An elderly lady called the police on my parents (I know I spoke of this last time lol) because she didn't see where any of us were handicapped and "required" a spot for those that were REALLY handicapped.
Needless to say, my parents were caught off guard when a Police Officer side stepped them inside the store and let them know what was transpiring. After hearing this, my mother took me (in the cart) and walked off to "cool down" after eying the lady that made the report.
My poor dad. He had to take the officer outside and SHOW HIM the equipment, sitting there on the floorboard of the back seat area of the car. The Police Officer thanked him and apologized for the intrusion and the trouble (as well as the embarrassment) that the situation caused.
After going back inside, the officer pulled the lady aside and let her have it for being a nosy old bag. He even took HER to see that INDEED I was LEGALLY afforded that spot and why. Also, she got a better look at ME, sitting in the cart and started to cry (by my understanding of what my dad said), all the while apologizing to my parents.
My mother walked off without accepting the apology, due to the humiliation and the rudeness of the woman in the first place. Plus, it kept Mom from wanting to punch the old woman (by what was told).
So, the next time you see someone parking in a designated Handicap spot, don't be so quick to judge by their outward appearance. You don't know their full medical history and what may be going on internally.
Believe me when I say that there are days when I really wish I had a sticker/plate due to my son and his "outbursts" (due to his mental disorders that LEGALLY make him 'disabled' by our state) that he has. I'd be able to get him out of where we are and out to the car MUCH quicker when an episode hits. Most of the time, we are parked most of the way towards the end of the lot area. Just my luck I guess.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Yes, Virginia, words *CAN* hurt.
Words. They are probably the most powerful tool that we possess as human beings. They can be used to encourage, relate with and help in the healing process. They can also cut like a knife, aggravate and maim another to their very core.
Some words, while spelled the same, can have two very differential meanings. Take the word "ship". One is a boat that floats on the water, carrying people abroad from one piece of land to another. The other "ship" means to carry items from one location to another for people through a mailing service.
But the word that we will be focusing on that has become ever so quite popular to use in various context is "retard/retarded".
From Dictionary Reference ...
"re·tard·ed"
[ri-tahr-did]
–adjective
1.characterized by retardation: a retarded child.
–noun
2.( used with a plural verb ) mentally retarded persons collectively (usually prec. by the ): new schools for the retarded.
Origin:
1800–10; retard + -ed2
—Related forms
non·re·tard·ed, adjective
un·re·tard·ed, adjective
—Synonyms
backward, disabled, handicapped.
"re·tard"
[ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4]
–verb (used with object)
1.to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.
–verb (used without object)
2.to be delayed.
–noun
3.a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4.Slang: Disparaging .
a.a mentally retarded person.
b.a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.
5.Automotive, Machinery . an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.
[End of definitions]
Now, in all the years that I have gone with my father, my husband or on my own to the Mechanic to get my vehicle checked have I ever heard the word "retarded" come out of their mouths to describe the setting of my car's distributor.
I have though, heard of those with mentally debilitating handicaps being referred to as being "retarded" or being a "retard". Both by the medical community, and through society's "common man". And honestly, I literally cringe when I hear those words. No matter their context.
My daughter has a friend who's younger sister is severely handicapped. She cannot walk. She cannot talk. She cannot eat normally like you and I do. But she is sharp. She can bounce around her home with ease upon her knees. She can speak through a "voice box" communications computer, or uses sign language. And she must eat through a bottle, seeing as her "food" has to be in almost a completely liquid consistency.
She has Cerebral Palsy. She is what people would call "retarded". But after you see all that she CAN do, she can place most of us "normal" people to shame. My children play with her at school and within their home. She and I have fun talking and she is ALWAYS giving me hugs and when she sees me in passing at school, the biggest smile comes to her face and she is about to bounce out of her wheelchair to get to me and wants to high-five me.
My biggest pet peeve though, with the words "retard" and "retarded" is when they are used in a non-medical, derogatory manner. Saying to someone, "You are such a retard!" is not only insulting towards the person you are referring to, but to those that REALLY DO have mentally challenging handicaps.
And when you say, "That's retarded.", you are insinuating that something is "slow, stupid, obtuse or ineffective". But listen to yourself as you say it. It's on the same level as stating "That is so gay!". So something is having a relationship with it's own kind? That made no sense. And it insults those in your community that ARE in fact, Gay.
How would people like to hear something along the lines of "It's so nigger."? Sounds great, doesn't it? *insert eye roll here*
Or how about "Stop being such a Jew!"?
My son has several mental disorders that have in the end, deemed him disabled by the state and by the Federal Government. He is NOT stupid, slow, defective, a socially inept being, or a hindrance. He is my son, who is bright-minded with some quirks. He is disabled emotionally, socially, maturely and mentally (to an extent).
What are his disorders, you ask (for those that are new to my blog, or just don't know)? He has ADHD, OCD, ODD, Mood Disorder (basically, he has Bipolar, but due to age, is Dx'd with the Mood Disorder until later in age), and Asperger's Syndrome 'tendencies' (he does not have full-blown Asperger's, but is borderline).
He can be violent, abusive and easily short tempered. He cannot handle change well (especially sudden or massive changes at one time). He has Manic-type mood swings with outward evidences of 'highs' and 'lows' (extreme hyperness or extreme sadness) at any given moment of each day.
But on the flip side, my child is one of the most loving, caring, affectionate, brightest children you would ever meet. With even his bad days, it's hard to NOT love him or want to do your best by him. No matter the cost.
The one thing my son is *NOT* is "retarded". By ANY meaning of the word. I certainly would NEVER let a medical professional refer to him as being such, let alone anyone within "general society". He is handicapped or "challenged". Nothing more. Nothing less.
So, before you (generalizing the word 'you', not pointing fingers to any specific person) go and state that someone is a "retard" for any reason, or say that something is "retarded", think BEFORE you speak those words from your lips. Because once you say them, you can NEVER take them back.
Even those within the medical community have started the change from using the words "retard" and "retarded", seeing the hurt and anguish those two 'simple' words bring to those that ARE affected by mental and physical disabilities, as well as their families and friends.
That alone should tell you something. That wording and context are EVERYTHING. So yes, while sticks and stones may break bones, names (and misuse of words) *CAN* hurt. Especially those that know of someone, or they themselves are personally affected with being handicapped.
Please if you wish to help stop the spreading of the "R-Word" in it's wrong verbiage, join me at...
I have taken the pledge. Will you?
Also, while I am NO fan of severe Right-Wing Conservatism, nor am I NOWHERE near a 'fan' of Sarah Palin, I WILL agree with her anger and I WILL side with Palin in regards to Rush Limbaugh's uses of "retard" and "retarded". Even as he referred to those that REALLY ARE cognitively and developmentally disabled persons.
Don't even get me started on Ann Coulter...
Some words, while spelled the same, can have two very differential meanings. Take the word "ship". One is a boat that floats on the water, carrying people abroad from one piece of land to another. The other "ship" means to carry items from one location to another for people through a mailing service.
But the word that we will be focusing on that has become ever so quite popular to use in various context is "retard/retarded".
From Dictionary Reference ...
"re·tard·ed"
[ri-tahr-did]
–adjective
1.characterized by retardation: a retarded child.
–noun
2.( used with a plural verb ) mentally retarded persons collectively (usually prec. by the ): new schools for the retarded.
Origin:
1800–10; retard + -ed2
—Related forms
non·re·tard·ed, adjective
un·re·tard·ed, adjective
—Synonyms
backward, disabled, handicapped.
"re·tard"
[ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4]
–verb (used with object)
1.to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.
–verb (used without object)
2.to be delayed.
–noun
3.a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4.Slang: Disparaging .
a.a mentally retarded person.
b.a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.
5.Automotive, Machinery . an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.
[End of definitions]
Now, in all the years that I have gone with my father, my husband or on my own to the Mechanic to get my vehicle checked have I ever heard the word "retarded" come out of their mouths to describe the setting of my car's distributor.
I have though, heard of those with mentally debilitating handicaps being referred to as being "retarded" or being a "retard". Both by the medical community, and through society's "common man". And honestly, I literally cringe when I hear those words. No matter their context.
My daughter has a friend who's younger sister is severely handicapped. She cannot walk. She cannot talk. She cannot eat normally like you and I do. But she is sharp. She can bounce around her home with ease upon her knees. She can speak through a "voice box" communications computer, or uses sign language. And she must eat through a bottle, seeing as her "food" has to be in almost a completely liquid consistency.
She has Cerebral Palsy. She is what people would call "retarded". But after you see all that she CAN do, she can place most of us "normal" people to shame. My children play with her at school and within their home. She and I have fun talking and she is ALWAYS giving me hugs and when she sees me in passing at school, the biggest smile comes to her face and she is about to bounce out of her wheelchair to get to me and wants to high-five me.
My biggest pet peeve though, with the words "retard" and "retarded" is when they are used in a non-medical, derogatory manner. Saying to someone, "You are such a retard!" is not only insulting towards the person you are referring to, but to those that REALLY DO have mentally challenging handicaps.
And when you say, "That's retarded.", you are insinuating that something is "slow, stupid, obtuse or ineffective". But listen to yourself as you say it. It's on the same level as stating "That is so gay!". So something is having a relationship with it's own kind? That made no sense. And it insults those in your community that ARE in fact, Gay.
How would people like to hear something along the lines of "It's so nigger."? Sounds great, doesn't it? *insert eye roll here*
Or how about "Stop being such a Jew!"?
My son has several mental disorders that have in the end, deemed him disabled by the state and by the Federal Government. He is NOT stupid, slow, defective, a socially inept being, or a hindrance. He is my son, who is bright-minded with some quirks. He is disabled emotionally, socially, maturely and mentally (to an extent).
What are his disorders, you ask (for those that are new to my blog, or just don't know)? He has ADHD, OCD, ODD, Mood Disorder (basically, he has Bipolar, but due to age, is Dx'd with the Mood Disorder until later in age), and Asperger's Syndrome 'tendencies' (he does not have full-blown Asperger's, but is borderline).
He can be violent, abusive and easily short tempered. He cannot handle change well (especially sudden or massive changes at one time). He has Manic-type mood swings with outward evidences of 'highs' and 'lows' (extreme hyperness or extreme sadness) at any given moment of each day.
But on the flip side, my child is one of the most loving, caring, affectionate, brightest children you would ever meet. With even his bad days, it's hard to NOT love him or want to do your best by him. No matter the cost.
The one thing my son is *NOT* is "retarded". By ANY meaning of the word. I certainly would NEVER let a medical professional refer to him as being such, let alone anyone within "general society". He is handicapped or "challenged". Nothing more. Nothing less.
So, before you (generalizing the word 'you', not pointing fingers to any specific person) go and state that someone is a "retard" for any reason, or say that something is "retarded", think BEFORE you speak those words from your lips. Because once you say them, you can NEVER take them back.
Even those within the medical community have started the change from using the words "retard" and "retarded", seeing the hurt and anguish those two 'simple' words bring to those that ARE affected by mental and physical disabilities, as well as their families and friends.
That alone should tell you something. That wording and context are EVERYTHING. So yes, while sticks and stones may break bones, names (and misuse of words) *CAN* hurt. Especially those that know of someone, or they themselves are personally affected with being handicapped.
Please if you wish to help stop the spreading of the "R-Word" in it's wrong verbiage, join me at...
I have taken the pledge. Will you?
Also, while I am NO fan of severe Right-Wing Conservatism, nor am I NOWHERE near a 'fan' of Sarah Palin, I WILL agree with her anger and I WILL side with Palin in regards to Rush Limbaugh's uses of "retard" and "retarded". Even as he referred to those that REALLY ARE cognitively and developmentally disabled persons.
Don't even get me started on Ann Coulter...
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Daydreaming, ADHD & Team Building
It's been a strange start to the week. Monday wasn't too bad as far as Monday's go. Tuesday was Election Day for Mid-Terms. I even voted for Tazmanian Devil to get City Court Clerk. Instead some idiot I have no clue about got the spot. I think Taz would have done a fine job myself. And last night was also the monthly appointment for Bryce, my Special Needs child.
It's becoming increasingly apparent that the medications that he is on for the ADHD are helping. But not to the extent that we would care to see. He is on the maximum dose of Vyvanse. And we are upping his Intuniv to three mgs. to see if that may help a bit more.
But also, the teachers MUST be willing to work more with him. And with us. In a COMPLETE team effort. They have yet to realize that NOT EVERYTHING he does is within HIS control. A lot of it has to do with the ADHD and its severity taking control and causing him to wander, be completely distracted, blurting out, cutting in to conversations or instruction. He even said one of the teachers mainly lectures for the entire time, every single day. An ADHD kid CANNOT handle more than five to ten minute increments of "lecturing".
These people are expecting him to pull off the impossible. To stay on task, focus completely and listen 100% of the time, during the entire day. While us "normal" people CAN do that, a child with severe ADHD cannot. They do not have the control over their brains to obtain such feats.
Even the doctor had agreed with me when I stated that basically my child is in a constant daydream. His brain NEVER slows down enough to tackle one specific thing at a time. His mind is a jumbled mess twenty-four hours a day, unless people are willing to re-direct him, work with him and help ensure that he is keeping on track with the task at hand.
For the last several years, myself and Bryce's Case Manager have hit one stumbling block after another. Even though Bryce is listed BY THE STATE, as well as by FEDERAL GOVERNMENT (seeing as he DOES collect SSDI) as being "disabled", my child has been turned down time and time again for in-school services. This means he cannot get an IEP, a 504 Plan, most accommodations. Why? Because he is SO damn smart and "making the grade", that his disability isn't "showing" enough through his grades to "mandate needs" for Specialized Services through the school system.
Excuse me??? So in a nut shell, they are stating that being my child does not have a severe intellectual impediment, he isn't deaf or blind, can walk and talk just like any other "normal" person, that he does NOT qualify for a damn thing, seeing as he DOES have behavioral issues that severely impact social skills and daily living skills. Just getting him to do a five minute task can take easily twenty minutes or more.
At school, about three weeks ago, he was SUPPOSED TO go to the bathroom that sits kitty-corner from the classroom. But about ten minutes later, he was found to be down the hall at the Second Grade area, just standing there, watching in to one of the classrooms. And he honestly cannot say why, or how he "got there".
He is ALWAYS "forgetting" his FINISHED homework. No matter how much I have tried, the boy is incessantly disorganized with his binder.
All he does is get in to trouble in school for wandering the room, not staying on task, speaking out of turn, bugging the other students in class, not following (multiple) directions (which is EXTREMELY hard for Bryce to accomplish), wandering the halls and being a "behavioral nuisance".
Now, someone PLEASE DO tell me, how are these "problems" that the teachers are always complaining of NOT being addressed in their correct manner? As in, with Specialized Services being readily available and in use with and for my child? How bad does it honestly have to get with his behavior and "daydreaming" for them to FINALLY take a hard look and actually GIVE HIM the services Bryce is RIGHTFULLY due?
Honestly, sometimes Public Education amazes me. And *not* in a good way, mind you. So, if I seem angry in this post, and in general, you can bet your ass I am! I'm tired of the run-arounds, the blind-eyes and the refusal to HELP my child live up to his full potential and get the best educational opportunity available.
It's becoming increasingly apparent that the medications that he is on for the ADHD are helping. But not to the extent that we would care to see. He is on the maximum dose of Vyvanse. And we are upping his Intuniv to three mgs. to see if that may help a bit more.
But also, the teachers MUST be willing to work more with him. And with us. In a COMPLETE team effort. They have yet to realize that NOT EVERYTHING he does is within HIS control. A lot of it has to do with the ADHD and its severity taking control and causing him to wander, be completely distracted, blurting out, cutting in to conversations or instruction. He even said one of the teachers mainly lectures for the entire time, every single day. An ADHD kid CANNOT handle more than five to ten minute increments of "lecturing".
These people are expecting him to pull off the impossible. To stay on task, focus completely and listen 100% of the time, during the entire day. While us "normal" people CAN do that, a child with severe ADHD cannot. They do not have the control over their brains to obtain such feats.
Even the doctor had agreed with me when I stated that basically my child is in a constant daydream. His brain NEVER slows down enough to tackle one specific thing at a time. His mind is a jumbled mess twenty-four hours a day, unless people are willing to re-direct him, work with him and help ensure that he is keeping on track with the task at hand.
For the last several years, myself and Bryce's Case Manager have hit one stumbling block after another. Even though Bryce is listed BY THE STATE, as well as by FEDERAL GOVERNMENT (seeing as he DOES collect SSDI) as being "disabled", my child has been turned down time and time again for in-school services. This means he cannot get an IEP, a 504 Plan, most accommodations. Why? Because he is SO damn smart and "making the grade", that his disability isn't "showing" enough through his grades to "mandate needs" for Specialized Services through the school system.
Excuse me??? So in a nut shell, they are stating that being my child does not have a severe intellectual impediment, he isn't deaf or blind, can walk and talk just like any other "normal" person, that he does NOT qualify for a damn thing, seeing as he DOES have behavioral issues that severely impact social skills and daily living skills. Just getting him to do a five minute task can take easily twenty minutes or more.
At school, about three weeks ago, he was SUPPOSED TO go to the bathroom that sits kitty-corner from the classroom. But about ten minutes later, he was found to be down the hall at the Second Grade area, just standing there, watching in to one of the classrooms. And he honestly cannot say why, or how he "got there".
He is ALWAYS "forgetting" his FINISHED homework. No matter how much I have tried, the boy is incessantly disorganized with his binder.
All he does is get in to trouble in school for wandering the room, not staying on task, speaking out of turn, bugging the other students in class, not following (multiple) directions (which is EXTREMELY hard for Bryce to accomplish), wandering the halls and being a "behavioral nuisance".
Now, someone PLEASE DO tell me, how are these "problems" that the teachers are always complaining of NOT being addressed in their correct manner? As in, with Specialized Services being readily available and in use with and for my child? How bad does it honestly have to get with his behavior and "daydreaming" for them to FINALLY take a hard look and actually GIVE HIM the services Bryce is RIGHTFULLY due?
Honestly, sometimes Public Education amazes me. And *not* in a good way, mind you. So, if I seem angry in this post, and in general, you can bet your ass I am! I'm tired of the run-arounds, the blind-eyes and the refusal to HELP my child live up to his full potential and get the best educational opportunity available.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
ADHD...
As a mother, it is hard to watch your child struggle. What are ordinary, everyday tasks and expectations to us, is a ball of confusion and frustration for our kids.
Sitting still. Focusing. Being organized. Paying attention to the instructor. Following multiple directions at a rapid pace.
Sounds like a lot, and even a bit confusing to you? I'm sure that it does. But to my son, and to millions of other children in the United States alone, it is a hardship for them every single day to keep up with those tasks while in the classroom, and even at home.
Constantly, I have to remind my hyper, active, not-very-attentive son to complete this task first, so he can move on to the next. Then, after that, I have to remind him to let me check his work against his Agenda, to ensure that he completed the assignments. Then, and only then, may he have his computer or his TV time.
The same goes for his household chores. And the teachers have to stay on top of Bryce as well, being he can fall off of the track pretty quick, and pretty often.
Case in point.. Bryce was found to be sitting in the hall, by his Science and Social Studies Teacher's room. Apparently, he was disrupting the class and "poking at" one girl constantly. After being told to finally move himself to an area where he could be alone, he started to bawl and be belligerent. So, the teacher sent him to the hall.
Then, at snack time, when the Mixed Berries were passed out, he couldn't have any, being that the kitchen never made him a separate bowl without the Blackberries, being he is allergic to them. He went buck wild, pitching a fit, not concentrating on the teacher's explanation, and saying he was being abused because she was "starving" him.
It's not ALL stemming from his ADHD. The lashing out is from another disorder he is inflicted with. But the "poking" of the child, his fidgeting, his lack of concentration, and organization skills, as well as his hyperness, even in his talking to others is a part of the ADHD that he has. Bryce has the more severe form of the disorder.
And yes, he is on medication therapy for it. He takes Vyvanse in the morning, before school. His Intuniv is taken before bedtime. It also serves as a sleep aide, being that his brain stays in "overdrive". The Intuniv relaxes the centers in the brain to control his sleep pattern. And it helps him focus on going to sleep, along with his bedtime routine rituals.
One thing that I have noted the last few years, as the parent of an ADHD child that is medicated, is that most (not all, mind you) teachers think that the medication is the "magic cure-all" for the ADHD while the child is in their classroom. That cannot be further from the truth.
While the medications DO help the child stay focused, attentive, and with less likelihood to blurt out or talk out of turn (or even go way off the topic at hand), the medicines can only control those points to a certain extent.
The remainder of the ADHD child's success relies upon both the child's willingness to gain SELF-control and SELF-discipline, as well as the teacher's willingness to work with the child to achieve those same goals that ADHD students need to be successful students.
This may mean giving the ADHD child a separate desk area, where fellow students will not be a distraction. Or even asking the child if the student is understanding and able to follow the lesson. The teacher can't be "all mouth". They must be about action as well. This means walking around, using hand gestures. Anything to keep the ADHD child engaged in the lesson.
On average, the typical ADHD child can give you no more than fifteen minutes of their attention. For the ones with severe ADHD, you are lucky, and I mean LUCKY, to get ten minutes of their attention, being most severe cases have an attention span of only five minutes.
Too many teachers rely on medication therapy. And anti-medicating advocates talk about us parents? MOST of us parents tried EVERYTHING else under the sun for our children BEFORE going the "pill route".
Our child's first line of defense of course, are the parents. Then, the doctors and therapeutic team. Teachers though, as well as the other school staff round out the team for these kids. We ALL have to work together to help these children with ADHD be successful . Within the classroom setting, as well as out in the community and within the world.
So, remember that while ADHD medications DO help, it's far from being the "cure-all" route of having a successful child. One-on-one working with your child (or student, if that is the case), providing the appropriate tools for success, and helping them to build their SELF-esteem and SELF-control are the REAL keys for having an ADHD child that is well-rounded, adjusted, organized and an overall good student in the classroom and beyond.
Sitting still. Focusing. Being organized. Paying attention to the instructor. Following multiple directions at a rapid pace.
Sounds like a lot, and even a bit confusing to you? I'm sure that it does. But to my son, and to millions of other children in the United States alone, it is a hardship for them every single day to keep up with those tasks while in the classroom, and even at home.
Constantly, I have to remind my hyper, active, not-very-attentive son to complete this task first, so he can move on to the next. Then, after that, I have to remind him to let me check his work against his Agenda, to ensure that he completed the assignments. Then, and only then, may he have his computer or his TV time.
The same goes for his household chores. And the teachers have to stay on top of Bryce as well, being he can fall off of the track pretty quick, and pretty often.
Case in point.. Bryce was found to be sitting in the hall, by his Science and Social Studies Teacher's room. Apparently, he was disrupting the class and "poking at" one girl constantly. After being told to finally move himself to an area where he could be alone, he started to bawl and be belligerent. So, the teacher sent him to the hall.
Then, at snack time, when the Mixed Berries were passed out, he couldn't have any, being that the kitchen never made him a separate bowl without the Blackberries, being he is allergic to them. He went buck wild, pitching a fit, not concentrating on the teacher's explanation, and saying he was being abused because she was "starving" him.
It's not ALL stemming from his ADHD. The lashing out is from another disorder he is inflicted with. But the "poking" of the child, his fidgeting, his lack of concentration, and organization skills, as well as his hyperness, even in his talking to others is a part of the ADHD that he has. Bryce has the more severe form of the disorder.
And yes, he is on medication therapy for it. He takes Vyvanse in the morning, before school. His Intuniv is taken before bedtime. It also serves as a sleep aide, being that his brain stays in "overdrive". The Intuniv relaxes the centers in the brain to control his sleep pattern. And it helps him focus on going to sleep, along with his bedtime routine rituals.
One thing that I have noted the last few years, as the parent of an ADHD child that is medicated, is that most (not all, mind you) teachers think that the medication is the "magic cure-all" for the ADHD while the child is in their classroom. That cannot be further from the truth.
While the medications DO help the child stay focused, attentive, and with less likelihood to blurt out or talk out of turn (or even go way off the topic at hand), the medicines can only control those points to a certain extent.
The remainder of the ADHD child's success relies upon both the child's willingness to gain SELF-control and SELF-discipline, as well as the teacher's willingness to work with the child to achieve those same goals that ADHD students need to be successful students.
This may mean giving the ADHD child a separate desk area, where fellow students will not be a distraction. Or even asking the child if the student is understanding and able to follow the lesson. The teacher can't be "all mouth". They must be about action as well. This means walking around, using hand gestures. Anything to keep the ADHD child engaged in the lesson.
On average, the typical ADHD child can give you no more than fifteen minutes of their attention. For the ones with severe ADHD, you are lucky, and I mean LUCKY, to get ten minutes of their attention, being most severe cases have an attention span of only five minutes.
Too many teachers rely on medication therapy. And anti-medicating advocates talk about us parents? MOST of us parents tried EVERYTHING else under the sun for our children BEFORE going the "pill route".
Our child's first line of defense of course, are the parents. Then, the doctors and therapeutic team. Teachers though, as well as the other school staff round out the team for these kids. We ALL have to work together to help these children with ADHD be successful . Within the classroom setting, as well as out in the community and within the world.
So, remember that while ADHD medications DO help, it's far from being the "cure-all" route of having a successful child. One-on-one working with your child (or student, if that is the case), providing the appropriate tools for success, and helping them to build their SELF-esteem and SELF-control are the REAL keys for having an ADHD child that is well-rounded, adjusted, organized and an overall good student in the classroom and beyond.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Are you on FaceBook? Come see me here!
I've got many interests. It seems like at least one for every letter of the alphabet. *I wonder now how many of you started reciting your ABC's and put an interest with each letter...hehe.*
I now run two groups that I had started. And I own a couple of Fan/Like Pages for both this blog, and my ParanorMel blog, as well.
If you are a member of FaceBook, feel free to check out the following places that I hang out in when I'm not playing Cafe World (for Skyler!), posting videos to my wall, or looking in on my peeps.
The first one up is a place for the ladies ONLY! Sorry guys, you are barred from this room. And if we catch you, you get thrown out like a drunk in speedos at the nightclub.
The Ladies Room is a place for the ladies (married, divorced, single..we take them all!) to just chat, share recipes, vent, get or give advice and talk about much more...Relationships, raising kids, marriage, home-based topics. Even gab about current events, top news topics, celebrities, and entertainment.
This is a group for WOMEN only!! And all members MUST be 18 years of age, or older to be a part of the group. No exceptions! If you are found out to be a minor, or a male member, you WILL be removed, as well as BANNED from The Ladies Room. << Told ya we were harsh!
I Support Parents With SILENTLY Disabled Children is a group for Mothers, Fathers, Foster Parents or Legal Guardians of a child that is disabled by "SILENT" disabilities, such as any Mental Disorder/Illness/Disability, a physical handicap that isn't necessarily "visible" on the outside (like Lupus) or another type of "silent" disability... Get support, advice and be able to vent in a SAFE HAVEN where other caregivers/parents as yourself will "get you".
Parents/families with Non-Disabled children who may also like to learn more about Silent Disabilities, and/or wish to GIVE SUPPORT/ADVOCATE for children with SILENT disabilities and their parents, may join as well!
As for the Fan Pages, first up is The (Not Always) Happy Homemaker Diary page. Inside, you can get links to the most current, as well as past blog posts for the blog. It's an interactive area where you can post discussions, talk about the posts and much more.
And last, but most certainly not least, is the Fan Page over at FaceBook for my secondary blog, ParanorMel. Where, again, you can find the latest, as well as past blog post links. You can talk about YOUR experiences with the paranormal, post pictures, open topics on the Discussions tab and do so much more.
That seems to be all for this "plug post", today. I hope to see you come over and stop by. Join in the fun at one of, or better yet, all of these great, fun, supportive, and interactive places!
I now run two groups that I had started. And I own a couple of Fan/Like Pages for both this blog, and my ParanorMel blog, as well.
If you are a member of FaceBook, feel free to check out the following places that I hang out in when I'm not playing Cafe World (for Skyler!), posting videos to my wall, or looking in on my peeps.
The first one up is a place for the ladies ONLY! Sorry guys, you are barred from this room. And if we catch you, you get thrown out like a drunk in speedos at the nightclub.
The Ladies Room is a place for the ladies (married, divorced, single..we take them all!) to just chat, share recipes, vent, get or give advice and talk about much more...Relationships, raising kids, marriage, home-based topics. Even gab about current events, top news topics, celebrities, and entertainment.
This is a group for WOMEN only!! And all members MUST be 18 years of age, or older to be a part of the group. No exceptions! If you are found out to be a minor, or a male member, you WILL be removed, as well as BANNED from The Ladies Room. <
Parents/families with Non-Disabled children who may also like to learn more about Silent Disabilities, and/or wish to GIVE SUPPORT/ADVOCATE for children with SILENT disabilities and their parents, may join as well!
As for the Fan Pages, first up is The (Not Always) Happy Homemaker Diary page. Inside, you can get links to the most current, as well as past blog posts for the blog. It's an interactive area where you can post discussions, talk about the posts and much more.
And last, but most certainly not least, is the Fan Page over at FaceBook for my secondary blog, ParanorMel. Where, again, you can find the latest, as well as past blog post links. You can talk about YOUR experiences with the paranormal, post pictures, open topics on the Discussions tab and do so much more.
That seems to be all for this "plug post", today. I hope to see you come over and stop by. Join in the fun at one of, or better yet, all of these great, fun, supportive, and interactive places!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Just Because My Son Is Mentally Disabled, It Does *NOT* Give Him A "Free Pass".
For the most part, my son is a perfectly abled child, physically. Mentally, he is slow in maturity, behavior and socialization. As a plus though, he is highly advanced educationally. He can be funny and VERY loving, and sweet. But he can have severe mood swings and violent tendencies...Especially during a trigger moment. Like being told (much more than once in a ten-minute period) to do something, such as clean his room or put something he used away.
I'd been reading a discussion in a group I am a member of about a child with ADD/ADHD and the mom was wondering if the punishment had fit the crime. Some said that (basically because of the child's disorder) the child should get a second chance...
For me, this is a no-brainer. I'd say let my son suffer the consequences. And he has, several times in the past for different things. Mainly for disorganization and forgetfulness, although was REPEATEDLY told to be sure he had all that he needed for whatever it was.
Plus, I have done the same with his two sisters. Even the five-year-old. If they don't have everything they need to be prepared or to be able to do what they want to do (like trips or other outings), then that is on them.
Just because my son has been legally deemed disabled, it does not deem me to give him specialized treatment, or to let him slide when his sisters cannot. I treat all three of my kids just the same. They may get punished a bit differently, being I know what works on each INDIVIDUAL child. But otherwise, they are treated fairly and equally.
I'm tired of hearing, "Johnny can't do that because he has ____", or "Mary should be given another chance because most likely it's her ____ making her forget".
Stop using a child's disability as a CRUTCH. Not just for them to get away with what neurotypical (mentally up to date) children cannot. But, also not to excuse a child's behavior, especially when you know that they can do MUCH better.
Yes, this may be making me sound harsh, and even like I'm a bitch. But I grew up "legally disabled" and my own mother put MANY limitations on me because of my problems, although I was physically (for the most part) and mentally capable of doing MOST of what any other kid could do. And it made for my childhood to be pretty boring and lacking...And I will never get a do-over. Why PUNISH my child in the same fashion?
Special Needs children (especially those with mental disorders and behavior disorders) NEED to be treated "like anyone else" and need a "normal child's" structure. That includes clear and set rules and consequences. If you treat him or her differently from their peers and/or siblings, they WILL know and be resentful. They want to be 'normal' like any other kid. And this includes punishment.
I'd been reading a discussion in a group I am a member of about a child with ADD/ADHD and the mom was wondering if the punishment had fit the crime. Some said that (basically because of the child's disorder) the child should get a second chance...
For me, this is a no-brainer. I'd say let my son suffer the consequences. And he has, several times in the past for different things. Mainly for disorganization and forgetfulness, although was REPEATEDLY told to be sure he had all that he needed for whatever it was.
Plus, I have done the same with his two sisters. Even the five-year-old. If they don't have everything they need to be prepared or to be able to do what they want to do (like trips or other outings), then that is on them.
Just because my son has been legally deemed disabled, it does not deem me to give him specialized treatment, or to let him slide when his sisters cannot. I treat all three of my kids just the same. They may get punished a bit differently, being I know what works on each INDIVIDUAL child. But otherwise, they are treated fairly and equally.
I'm tired of hearing, "Johnny can't do that because he has ____", or "Mary should be given another chance because most likely it's her ____ making her forget".
Stop using a child's disability as a CRUTCH. Not just for them to get away with what neurotypical (mentally up to date) children cannot. But, also not to excuse a child's behavior, especially when you know that they can do MUCH better.
Yes, this may be making me sound harsh, and even like I'm a bitch. But I grew up "legally disabled" and my own mother put MANY limitations on me because of my problems, although I was physically (for the most part) and mentally capable of doing MOST of what any other kid could do. And it made for my childhood to be pretty boring and lacking...And I will never get a do-over. Why PUNISH my child in the same fashion?
Special Needs children (especially those with mental disorders and behavior disorders) NEED to be treated "like anyone else" and need a "normal child's" structure. That includes clear and set rules and consequences. If you treat him or her differently from their peers and/or siblings, they WILL know and be resentful. They want to be 'normal' like any other kid. And this includes punishment.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Special Needs, Special Education, Aides, And Stuff.
As the mother of a Special Needs child that is NOT Neurotypical, I love to educate others (the public at large) on what it's like as a parent, but also for our kids, that have a SILENT Disability.
What is a Silent Disability you ask? Well, to put it in layman's terms, it means that someone has a disability, or a combination of different disabilities that does NOT outwardly show in physical appearance. They may walk and talk just fine. But on he INSIDE, it is a completely different story. The person may have Lupus or Fibromyalgia. Or they have Bipolar or Oppositional Defiance Disorder. And there are MANY upon many other ailments, malady's and illness that seem to not appear to be noticed on the outside of the body.
My son has several mental disorders. They impede and impact his daily living and social skills. And also his eating and sleeping habits. He has very few friends. He has a very difficult time with outward, verbal expression. He has emotional set backs, as well as a decreased maturity level (that is NOT within 'normal' range for a boy his age). For the most part, he looks, walks, and talks just like you and I. But when he displays his "quirks" and has manic episodes, and angers so badly that the devil looks like an angel, then you know something is seriously off with my boy.
Have you ever gotten upset at ANY person that parks in the Handicapped Parking space, only to see them get out and walk in to the store, minus a cane, walker, or scooter. And even without an oxygen tank? Are you more upset that they took that spot from a REAL disabled person? Or that they walk and act "just fine"? Maybe for you, it's both?
I've honestly lost count of how many stares my mother-in-law and I have gotten as we step out the van and WALK to the store's entrance from her handicapped parking space. She is disabled and cannot stay in the store and walk for too long. And she has a hard time breathing, but not needing oxygen (yet). She has Systemic Lupus, a colostomy bag and she tires easily due to the Lupus. But you cannot see that from just looking at her.
Now, back to children with Special Needs (of any kind, really). I was reading on my local news station's web page that a near-by county is CUTTING Behavioral Aides from their schools. Why? They suddenly became a part of the county's budget cuts.
http://www.wset.com/news/stories/0610/746253.html?ref=tw
Those that work with kids like mine are an integral part of those student's having the ability, focus and willingness to learn, and learn effectively. To take them away from those kids (as was said in the article) for even just ONE school year, can set those kids (potentially) back for SEVERAL years to come.
I'm sorry, but no basic Teacher's Aide will be able to 'effectively' assist those children in the manner that they need the help to be within the mainstream classroom setting. Not unless they too have children that have some type of mental/behavioral disability/disorder.
Even then, for as long as I have been dealing with and learning the ropes with my own child, it does NOT make me an "expert" in the field of Childhood Neurological Behavioral Sciences. I'm just a MOM that has a lot of personal experience and literature-based knowledge of what is wrong with MY child.
Many, if not MOST of those children have SSI Disability, as well as Medicaid Insurance. If need be, the kids can still have their Aides (those that will require the most one-on-one assistance), and Medicaid can pick up the bills. All they will need is a Pre-Authorization from their Specialist. Ninety-nine percent of the time, Pre-Auth's are APPROVED.
In the end, it's truly a win-win situation. No money out of the school's pocket (or the children's parents). And the kids get the Aides that they desperately need in order to receive the best education possible for their abilities (and disabilities).
Honestly, this is a 'no-brainer'....
What is a Silent Disability you ask? Well, to put it in layman's terms, it means that someone has a disability, or a combination of different disabilities that does NOT outwardly show in physical appearance. They may walk and talk just fine. But on he INSIDE, it is a completely different story. The person may have Lupus or Fibromyalgia. Or they have Bipolar or Oppositional Defiance Disorder. And there are MANY upon many other ailments, malady's and illness that seem to not appear to be noticed on the outside of the body.
My son has several mental disorders. They impede and impact his daily living and social skills. And also his eating and sleeping habits. He has very few friends. He has a very difficult time with outward, verbal expression. He has emotional set backs, as well as a decreased maturity level (that is NOT within 'normal' range for a boy his age). For the most part, he looks, walks, and talks just like you and I. But when he displays his "quirks" and has manic episodes, and angers so badly that the devil looks like an angel, then you know something is seriously off with my boy.
Have you ever gotten upset at ANY person that parks in the Handicapped Parking space, only to see them get out and walk in to the store, minus a cane, walker, or scooter. And even without an oxygen tank? Are you more upset that they took that spot from a REAL disabled person? Or that they walk and act "just fine"? Maybe for you, it's both?
I've honestly lost count of how many stares my mother-in-law and I have gotten as we step out the van and WALK to the store's entrance from her handicapped parking space. She is disabled and cannot stay in the store and walk for too long. And she has a hard time breathing, but not needing oxygen (yet). She has Systemic Lupus, a colostomy bag and she tires easily due to the Lupus. But you cannot see that from just looking at her.
Now, back to children with Special Needs (of any kind, really). I was reading on my local news station's web page that a near-by county is CUTTING Behavioral Aides from their schools. Why? They suddenly became a part of the county's budget cuts.
http://www.wset.com/news/stories/0610/746253.html?ref=tw
Those that work with kids like mine are an integral part of those student's having the ability, focus and willingness to learn, and learn effectively. To take them away from those kids (as was said in the article) for even just ONE school year, can set those kids (potentially) back for SEVERAL years to come.
I'm sorry, but no basic Teacher's Aide will be able to 'effectively' assist those children in the manner that they need the help to be within the mainstream classroom setting. Not unless they too have children that have some type of mental/behavioral disability/disorder.
Even then, for as long as I have been dealing with and learning the ropes with my own child, it does NOT make me an "expert" in the field of Childhood Neurological Behavioral Sciences. I'm just a MOM that has a lot of personal experience and literature-based knowledge of what is wrong with MY child.
Many, if not MOST of those children have SSI Disability, as well as Medicaid Insurance. If need be, the kids can still have their Aides (those that will require the most one-on-one assistance), and Medicaid can pick up the bills. All they will need is a Pre-Authorization from their Specialist. Ninety-nine percent of the time, Pre-Auth's are APPROVED.
In the end, it's truly a win-win situation. No money out of the school's pocket (or the children's parents). And the kids get the Aides that they desperately need in order to receive the best education possible for their abilities (and disabilities).
Honestly, this is a 'no-brainer'....
Monday, May 10, 2010
I'm Me...Don't Expect More, You Won't Get But What I Can Give To The (Blogging) World.
After reading a friend's blog over at http://singedwingangel.blogspot.com/ by it's Author, Angel, I felt like I need to "explain" myself.
I have never been one, even as a little kid (but with rare exception, of course) to want what everyone else has, or to do what everyone else is doing. It's just not in my nature.
I'm the type that I "do my own thing" and I don't care what you think, either. Don't like it? Don't read it/watch it/be around it, I say. I'm not here to honestly please anyone (except my husband, my kids and ultimately, myself).
Have you noticed, I don't have "Bloggy Buttons", I don't do "Carnivals", I don't go out of my way to gain readers, I don't cater to people (unless I ask for topic ideas, which I have, and view as different from 'catering').
My readers come to me. Either by reading a post via Facebook, where it auto-posts my blog entries, by Networked Blogs application over at Facebook, by "word of mouth" via my readers I already have, or by my "Fan Page" I have for this blog page.
I'm not writing really to gain readers or popularity. I write to express myself, my views, my opinions, to share about my life as a mom/wife/Christian/parenting a Special Needs Child. Sometimes, I'm funny as all get out. Sometimes, I'm very serious. And at times, I can be both.
This blog is for ME. It's my outlet. My way of expression. My blog is not for a Popularity Contest, to see how many readers I can get to 'follow' me. Not to gain sympathy or a slew of comments. I like to educate others who may not know what it's like to parent a child with Mental Illness/Disorders/Disabilities. And to educate the populous in regards to Organ/Eye/Tissue Donation (I myself am a Donor, as well as a Corneal Transplant Recipient).
So, while my blog page may look "boring", being I don't have bunch of buttons, links to other bloggers, fancy page decorations and a "Nation's Populations in it's self" number of readers (that most don't even comment anyways), it's who I am...
Simple, comfortable, unpopular (nothing new there lol), and most of all...TRUE TO MYSELF and REAL (what you see on my page, posts and in between is who/what I REALLY am like in the REAL world).
If you want someone to "keep up with the Joneses" in bloggy circles and cliques, please do us both a favor, find another girl (or guy). Because this Blog Writer has too much else to do than keep up with the Joneses. I have a hard enough time keeping up with three kids, three cats, a husband, a two-story home (full basement) and life in general.
I have never been one, even as a little kid (but with rare exception, of course) to want what everyone else has, or to do what everyone else is doing. It's just not in my nature.
I'm the type that I "do my own thing" and I don't care what you think, either. Don't like it? Don't read it/watch it/be around it, I say. I'm not here to honestly please anyone (except my husband, my kids and ultimately, myself).
Have you noticed, I don't have "Bloggy Buttons", I don't do "Carnivals", I don't go out of my way to gain readers, I don't cater to people (unless I ask for topic ideas, which I have, and view as different from 'catering').
My readers come to me. Either by reading a post via Facebook, where it auto-posts my blog entries, by Networked Blogs application over at Facebook, by "word of mouth" via my readers I already have, or by my "Fan Page" I have for this blog page.
I'm not writing really to gain readers or popularity. I write to express myself, my views, my opinions, to share about my life as a mom/wife/Christian/parenting a Special Needs Child. Sometimes, I'm funny as all get out. Sometimes, I'm very serious. And at times, I can be both.
This blog is for ME. It's my outlet. My way of expression. My blog is not for a Popularity Contest, to see how many readers I can get to 'follow' me. Not to gain sympathy or a slew of comments. I like to educate others who may not know what it's like to parent a child with Mental Illness/Disorders/Disabilities. And to educate the populous in regards to Organ/Eye/Tissue Donation (I myself am a Donor, as well as a Corneal Transplant Recipient).
So, while my blog page may look "boring", being I don't have bunch of buttons, links to other bloggers, fancy page decorations and a "Nation's Populations in it's self" number of readers (that most don't even comment anyways), it's who I am...
Simple, comfortable, unpopular (nothing new there lol), and most of all...TRUE TO MYSELF and REAL (what you see on my page, posts and in between is who/what I REALLY am like in the REAL world).
If you want someone to "keep up with the Joneses" in bloggy circles and cliques, please do us both a favor, find another girl (or guy). Because this Blog Writer has too much else to do than keep up with the Joneses. I have a hard enough time keeping up with three kids, three cats, a husband, a two-story home (full basement) and life in general.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
*COPY* Of My NEWEST letter to the Gov. of Virgina
April 20, 2010
Dear Gov. McDonnell,
Once before, I had written to you personally to ask that you help me, my son, our family and other families like ours in the fight to place Vyvanse back on the Medicaid's list of available options to treat mental disorders (written on Feb. 5th, 2010). I had received a "round about" reply, and to be honest, it hurt me, thinking that maybe you didn't really care as to what your Virginia Citizens had to say.
But, just a moment ago, I had read an article, via the Roanoke Times (http://www.roanoke.com/news/roanoke/wb/243974) that indeed you wish to fight FOR our families, not against us. And for that I do thank you.
I can only hope that you, sir took my words in to consideration as to your decision to fight for medications to help treat mental illnesses and disorders placed on (or back on) to Medicaid's Preferred Drug/Drug Availability/Coverage List.
Now, I am begging, not just asking, Mr. Governor, that you take this fight all the way. Do NOT stop. To stop is to fail. Not only yourself or this state. But you would be failing my son and countless other children that require Drug Therapy to help them lead a more "normal" life outside of their mental illness/disorder/disability.
I'm not scared to go up against "professionals" who feel that withholding services from my son is alright. I would take on the Government if I had to myself. My life has been too much filled with adversity from the start for me to back down now. Not for myself. Not for my children.
Please, Mr. McDonnell, give our children the best chance at a good life. Make it easier for me, and other parents to be able to go to the Pharmacy without having to fight for THREE WEEKS between them and Medicaid just to get our children's medicine. No child should have to go that length of time WITHOUT their medication because insurance decided it is in THEIR best interest to no longer cover that medication in their Drug Coverage Plan for it's consumers.
I've now got a renewed faith in you, Governor McDonnell. Please know that I will back you 100%. But I want to see you do your part. I know that you received much flack from us parents (primarily mothers) for letting Medicaid take advantage and in the end, disadvantage our children. I can only hope that WE were your driving force for going up against Medicaid.
Keep fighting the good fight, Mr. Governor. And thank you, from a mom with a very special little guy.
Sincerely,
Melissa A. Cowart (Lynchburg, Virginia)
Dear Gov. McDonnell,
Once before, I had written to you personally to ask that you help me, my son, our family and other families like ours in the fight to place Vyvanse back on the Medicaid's list of available options to treat mental disorders (written on Feb. 5th, 2010). I had received a "round about" reply, and to be honest, it hurt me, thinking that maybe you didn't really care as to what your Virginia Citizens had to say.
But, just a moment ago, I had read an article, via the Roanoke Times (http://www.roanoke.com/news/roanoke/wb/243974) that indeed you wish to fight FOR our families, not against us. And for that I do thank you.
I can only hope that you, sir took my words in to consideration as to your decision to fight for medications to help treat mental illnesses and disorders placed on (or back on) to Medicaid's Preferred Drug/Drug Availability/Coverage List.
Now, I am begging, not just asking, Mr. Governor, that you take this fight all the way. Do NOT stop. To stop is to fail. Not only yourself or this state. But you would be failing my son and countless other children that require Drug Therapy to help them lead a more "normal" life outside of their mental illness/disorder/disability.
I'm not scared to go up against "professionals" who feel that withholding services from my son is alright. I would take on the Government if I had to myself. My life has been too much filled with adversity from the start for me to back down now. Not for myself. Not for my children.
Please, Mr. McDonnell, give our children the best chance at a good life. Make it easier for me, and other parents to be able to go to the Pharmacy without having to fight for THREE WEEKS between them and Medicaid just to get our children's medicine. No child should have to go that length of time WITHOUT their medication because insurance decided it is in THEIR best interest to no longer cover that medication in their Drug Coverage Plan for it's consumers.
I've now got a renewed faith in you, Governor McDonnell. Please know that I will back you 100%. But I want to see you do your part. I know that you received much flack from us parents (primarily mothers) for letting Medicaid take advantage and in the end, disadvantage our children. I can only hope that WE were your driving force for going up against Medicaid.
Keep fighting the good fight, Mr. Governor. And thank you, from a mom with a very special little guy.
Sincerely,
Melissa A. Cowart (Lynchburg, Virginia)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Boy Sent Back To Homeland ALONE, USA Mom Couldn't Handle Him.
Being a mother is a number one priority in my life. Especially being that my three children are children that the "medical professionals" said I would never have. I had birth defects that if I tried to carry a baby, my body would have gone against me so-to-speak and abort the baby. Plus, I have had a severe case of Ovarian Cystitis since I was a teenager. That too was a factor, being that even then, the cysts that have ravaged my ovaries were scarring them, making it less possible to be fertile.
But, apparently, like in the years before, I defied the odds and surprised the medical community by getting pregnant with my first baby. Sadly, that was an Ectopic, caught in the ovary (of all things). A year later, I had my first born, who is now ten. Seventeen months later, followed her little brother, who will be nine tomorrow.
In 2003, we were pregnant with what was to be our last baby. But it had died in the womb and never fully miscarried. But once more, a year later our youngest daughter was born. She is now five.
After losing two children, having almost lost one (the youngest at weeks eight and twelve of pregnancy, plus severe pre-term labor), I must say that I know that I'm extremely fortunate and blessed to have these three in my life. I would go to the ends of the earth for them....I would give my life for them. I am their best advocate and defender.
My middle son, as many of my readers know, is disabled with several mental disorders. I won't list them here, but you can find them in some of my previous posts. We have been through some tough times, he and I. Including me having to hospitalize him in a Pediatric Psychiatric Ward being that he was severely Manic, impulse-driven, running away to a dangerous area repeatedly and needed major medication adjustment. We have cried together as we both faced fears of knowing he just threatened to KILL ME over simple little things....Yes, it has gotten that severe in his last five years of dealing with Mental Illness.
So, with all of that said, I find it outrageously appalling to see an article about a single, adoptive mother, who adopted her seven-year-old son from Russia, out of one of the orphanages, only to SEND HIM BACK, alone! Yes folks, she sent him back ALONE on an overseas flight back to Russia, with a note attached to him stating (in part), "After giving my best to this child, I am sorry to say that for the safety of my family, friends, and myself, I no longer wish to parent this child."
Where did this woman give her "best" to her son? If she gave her best to him, then she would STILL have him, love him, and get him all of the possible psychological care available. She only got that for HERSELF to see what she could do for him and get advice. Not to truly help him. Not once did she get an evaluation for services done on her son. And she freely admitted to that!
Obviously, she has NO business being a "mother". Adoptive or biological. What mother in their right mind would throw away their child in that manner? She did not even try to get help for the boy.
Read the article here... http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100410/ap_on_re_us/us_russia_adopted_boy
Sure, this woman saw a psychologist, but NEVER took him in to get evaluated and to receive help for his mental problems, that most likely stemmed from his living conditions and trauma in his life back in Russia.
It's certainly apparent that there was an extreme lack of common sense, patience and LOVE on this woman's part. If she REALLY wanted to be a mother, she would have not have sent that little boy back to his native homeland alone on a plane. She instead would have done EVERYTHING possible to help him first, before even fathoming the thought of washing her hands of him.
What my son has displayed over the last five years, I have noted that this little Russian boy has also done or attempted to do. He needs serious help and UNCONDITIONAL love.
I'm hoping that the adoption was finalized here in the States, and that this young man is a citizen of the USA. Then, she will have to get him back and make a difficult choice. One, take him back in and MOTHER him (as in get him HELP in the proper manner and LOVE him as a mother should). Or two, place her son in to a Foster Home situation, give up all parental rights to the child, and let a loving family who WILL help him adopt this troubled boy.
There are days where my nerves have been tested BEYOND their limits and frayed. I hate that my son (who is NOT a bad child) feels like the whole world is against him. That his own mind and body are against him. And he always tells me that he doesn't want to be bad. We are doing all we can in helping him in this fight for a "normal" life.
Yes, my son's mental disability affects the family as a whole. It impedes on his socialization and behavioral skills. He has very few friends. But they are ones that understand (yes kids in his age group CAN understand and do accept children that are not always "like them") that he is just "one of the guys".
I've had people stare at me and him as he has a Manic Episode or a Sensory Issue overload. He can be a real terror in those times. And yes, I have in the past, feared for my life, being that my small son threatened my life, with a HAMMER or a BUTCHER KNIFE in his hand, describing how he is going to kill me "until I'm dead". He has beaten his little sister in the past (mainly pushing her in to a piece of furniture, then slapping her). He has threatened to harm and even kill his big sister.
But never, EVER have I thought of kicking my son to the proverbial curb. Yes, I have thought of placing him in a group home in the past, temporarily. But never to just tell the state to take him and place him permanently somewhere else. I refuse to throw my child (or ANY of the three) away because life with them has becaome extremely difficult.
All I can hope is that this little boy from Russia, who only needed/wanted a LOVING home, with a LOVING family, will find a "forever family" that will take him in and get him all the help that he requires to work through the mental issues that plague him. No child (that has a disability of ANY kind) should be thrown away like a piece of bad meat. Yes, disabled children require more care and attention. But every one of those extra seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and years is more than well worth it as their parent.
Too bad his "mother" didn't see it that way....
But, apparently, like in the years before, I defied the odds and surprised the medical community by getting pregnant with my first baby. Sadly, that was an Ectopic, caught in the ovary (of all things). A year later, I had my first born, who is now ten. Seventeen months later, followed her little brother, who will be nine tomorrow.
In 2003, we were pregnant with what was to be our last baby. But it had died in the womb and never fully miscarried. But once more, a year later our youngest daughter was born. She is now five.
After losing two children, having almost lost one (the youngest at weeks eight and twelve of pregnancy, plus severe pre-term labor), I must say that I know that I'm extremely fortunate and blessed to have these three in my life. I would go to the ends of the earth for them....I would give my life for them. I am their best advocate and defender.
My middle son, as many of my readers know, is disabled with several mental disorders. I won't list them here, but you can find them in some of my previous posts. We have been through some tough times, he and I. Including me having to hospitalize him in a Pediatric Psychiatric Ward being that he was severely Manic, impulse-driven, running away to a dangerous area repeatedly and needed major medication adjustment. We have cried together as we both faced fears of knowing he just threatened to KILL ME over simple little things....Yes, it has gotten that severe in his last five years of dealing with Mental Illness.
So, with all of that said, I find it outrageously appalling to see an article about a single, adoptive mother, who adopted her seven-year-old son from Russia, out of one of the orphanages, only to SEND HIM BACK, alone! Yes folks, she sent him back ALONE on an overseas flight back to Russia, with a note attached to him stating (in part), "After giving my best to this child, I am sorry to say that for the safety of my family, friends, and myself, I no longer wish to parent this child."
Where did this woman give her "best" to her son? If she gave her best to him, then she would STILL have him, love him, and get him all of the possible psychological care available. She only got that for HERSELF to see what she could do for him and get advice. Not to truly help him. Not once did she get an evaluation for services done on her son. And she freely admitted to that!
Obviously, she has NO business being a "mother". Adoptive or biological. What mother in their right mind would throw away their child in that manner? She did not even try to get help for the boy.
Read the article here... http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100410/ap_on_re_us/us_russia_adopted_boy
Sure, this woman saw a psychologist, but NEVER took him in to get evaluated and to receive help for his mental problems, that most likely stemmed from his living conditions and trauma in his life back in Russia.
It's certainly apparent that there was an extreme lack of common sense, patience and LOVE on this woman's part. If she REALLY wanted to be a mother, she would have not have sent that little boy back to his native homeland alone on a plane. She instead would have done EVERYTHING possible to help him first, before even fathoming the thought of washing her hands of him.
What my son has displayed over the last five years, I have noted that this little Russian boy has also done or attempted to do. He needs serious help and UNCONDITIONAL love.
I'm hoping that the adoption was finalized here in the States, and that this young man is a citizen of the USA. Then, she will have to get him back and make a difficult choice. One, take him back in and MOTHER him (as in get him HELP in the proper manner and LOVE him as a mother should). Or two, place her son in to a Foster Home situation, give up all parental rights to the child, and let a loving family who WILL help him adopt this troubled boy.
There are days where my nerves have been tested BEYOND their limits and frayed. I hate that my son (who is NOT a bad child) feels like the whole world is against him. That his own mind and body are against him. And he always tells me that he doesn't want to be bad. We are doing all we can in helping him in this fight for a "normal" life.
Yes, my son's mental disability affects the family as a whole. It impedes on his socialization and behavioral skills. He has very few friends. But they are ones that understand (yes kids in his age group CAN understand and do accept children that are not always "like them") that he is just "one of the guys".
I've had people stare at me and him as he has a Manic Episode or a Sensory Issue overload. He can be a real terror in those times. And yes, I have in the past, feared for my life, being that my small son threatened my life, with a HAMMER or a BUTCHER KNIFE in his hand, describing how he is going to kill me "until I'm dead". He has beaten his little sister in the past (mainly pushing her in to a piece of furniture, then slapping her). He has threatened to harm and even kill his big sister.
But never, EVER have I thought of kicking my son to the proverbial curb. Yes, I have thought of placing him in a group home in the past, temporarily. But never to just tell the state to take him and place him permanently somewhere else. I refuse to throw my child (or ANY of the three) away because life with them has becaome extremely difficult.
All I can hope is that this little boy from Russia, who only needed/wanted a LOVING home, with a LOVING family, will find a "forever family" that will take him in and get him all the help that he requires to work through the mental issues that plague him. No child (that has a disability of ANY kind) should be thrown away like a piece of bad meat. Yes, disabled children require more care and attention. But every one of those extra seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and years is more than well worth it as their parent.
Too bad his "mother" didn't see it that way....
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
An Angel In Disguise. (I have this friend...)
And she "gets" me. To a tee.
True, we are about ten years apart in age. She has all boys. I have two girls, and a boy in the middle (poor kid!). Her marriage to her husband has been longer than mine. And only one of her kids happen to be around the same age of my oldest two.
But we do have some things in common. One of them being that we both have sons with Special Needs. They are both deemed Bipolar (although due to my son's age, its aptly called 'Mood Disorder'). Plus my son has Tourette's tendencies (primarily the severe tics, pulling/twirling of hair, but no foul language spewing), OCD, ADHD, Anxiety Disorder and Manic Depression.
There are days where either one of us or even both of us are having one of those "crap-tastic" days with our boys. Add in the other two kids and it's a six-ring circus (because three rings wouldn't even BEGIN to cover it!). And we will end up venting to one another via the phone or on Instant Message on Facebook (though I do wish she would YIM instead...FB IM sucks!).
She is a Christian, but not overly Conservative. I myself am a Spiritual-Christian. She and I have many of the same thoughts and views on the subject. We do see differently on a few Christian subjects. But, that's what makes our conversations about it so nice.
We also both know how it is having to deal with the Manic Episodes, the nights where the boys get barely to no sleep because their brains just can't seem to unwind, even WITH their medicine (which they are both on the same nighttime medicine), the anger flare-ups, the high's and low's of emotional state when the Mania is taking over...The list is long and seemingly never ending.
Funny how angels just swoop down in to your life in the most surprising of ways. There were times that I utterly felt alone and isolated from the world. That no one will understand me, my struggles...or my son.
Then along came that angel. We "met" via a website for moms. And we instantly clicked. Since that day, we have been tighter than two over-grown sardines stuffed in a can.
What can I say? She is truly one of a kind. She knows me. She knows how I feel, what I am thinking and why. She is the jelly to my PB&J.
She is truly....my angel.
True, we are about ten years apart in age. She has all boys. I have two girls, and a boy in the middle (poor kid!). Her marriage to her husband has been longer than mine. And only one of her kids happen to be around the same age of my oldest two.
But we do have some things in common. One of them being that we both have sons with Special Needs. They are both deemed Bipolar (although due to my son's age, its aptly called 'Mood Disorder'). Plus my son has Tourette's tendencies (primarily the severe tics, pulling/twirling of hair, but no foul language spewing), OCD, ADHD, Anxiety Disorder and Manic Depression.
There are days where either one of us or even both of us are having one of those "crap-tastic" days with our boys. Add in the other two kids and it's a six-ring circus (because three rings wouldn't even BEGIN to cover it!). And we will end up venting to one another via the phone or on Instant Message on Facebook (though I do wish she would YIM instead...FB IM sucks!).
She is a Christian, but not overly Conservative. I myself am a Spiritual-Christian. She and I have many of the same thoughts and views on the subject. We do see differently on a few Christian subjects. But, that's what makes our conversations about it so nice.
We also both know how it is having to deal with the Manic Episodes, the nights where the boys get barely to no sleep because their brains just can't seem to unwind, even WITH their medicine (which they are both on the same nighttime medicine), the anger flare-ups, the high's and low's of emotional state when the Mania is taking over...The list is long and seemingly never ending.
Funny how angels just swoop down in to your life in the most surprising of ways. There were times that I utterly felt alone and isolated from the world. That no one will understand me, my struggles...or my son.
Then along came that angel. We "met" via a website for moms. And we instantly clicked. Since that day, we have been tighter than two over-grown sardines stuffed in a can.
What can I say? She is truly one of a kind. She knows me. She knows how I feel, what I am thinking and why. She is the jelly to my PB&J.
She is truly....my angel.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Smile
Sometimes it takes great difficulty to smile. Sure, it takes a less number of facial muscles to smile, than to frown. But there are days that you just really don't want to smile.
There are times in my life that have had to just "grin and bear it". Then there have been times where I use smiling and laughter to "kill the pain". And there have been times that no matter how someone has tried, they just cannot for the life of them, make me smile, being that my inner pain was too great.
After learning several years ago that Bryce indeed had mental problems that I fought hard to get recognized and dealt with, I had to do SOMETHING to ease the stress, anguish and even the bitterness that laid within myself.
So, I took it upon myself to commit to smiling and laughing at least once for every time my heart broke due to the horrid "mental diseases" that took my happy boy from me.
Today, I am still committed to doing so. Although sometimes, I admit, I do falter. After all, I am still human, ya know!
Especially in the last few months. It's almost four months now since my Corneal Transplant was done. And there have been some problems associated with my new "window". But for the most part, I've been doing unexpectedly well for this time table.
Now, I am fighting off early signs of rejection. We knew that although slight, it was a possibility. And it happened. Sure! I was mad. I was angry at myself (internally). I cried A LOT on Saturday.
But now, I am choosing to smile. I am choosing to look POSITIVELY at my plight...and the fight that lay ahead. I still have a decent sized road ahead of me. And I have all the backup I'm needing. My faith, my family, my friends who have been so supportive and my doctor who has fought along side me the whole step of the way.
So, no matter how bad your road is filled with snapped off tree limbs, rocks and pebbles, smile as you walk past each of them. Because in the end, you WILL get to your final destination...smiling.
There are times in my life that have had to just "grin and bear it". Then there have been times where I use smiling and laughter to "kill the pain". And there have been times that no matter how someone has tried, they just cannot for the life of them, make me smile, being that my inner pain was too great.
After learning several years ago that Bryce indeed had mental problems that I fought hard to get recognized and dealt with, I had to do SOMETHING to ease the stress, anguish and even the bitterness that laid within myself.
So, I took it upon myself to commit to smiling and laughing at least once for every time my heart broke due to the horrid "mental diseases" that took my happy boy from me.
Today, I am still committed to doing so. Although sometimes, I admit, I do falter. After all, I am still human, ya know!
Especially in the last few months. It's almost four months now since my Corneal Transplant was done. And there have been some problems associated with my new "window". But for the most part, I've been doing unexpectedly well for this time table.
Now, I am fighting off early signs of rejection. We knew that although slight, it was a possibility. And it happened. Sure! I was mad. I was angry at myself (internally). I cried A LOT on Saturday.
But now, I am choosing to smile. I am choosing to look POSITIVELY at my plight...and the fight that lay ahead. I still have a decent sized road ahead of me. And I have all the backup I'm needing. My faith, my family, my friends who have been so supportive and my doctor who has fought along side me the whole step of the way.
So, no matter how bad your road is filled with snapped off tree limbs, rocks and pebbles, smile as you walk past each of them. Because in the end, you WILL get to your final destination...smiling.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Mama Bear's claws are sharpened & drawn....My letter to State Officials in Virginia
Feb. 5, 2010
Dear Gov. McDonnel, Del. Garret, Rep. Goodlatte, Sen. Webb, Sen. Warner,
I am writing to you as to bring forth to your attention a great error in judgment, let alone compassion for the Common Wealth of Virginia's people.
My name is Melissa Cowart and I am a married, thirty-three year old mother who lives in Lynchburg, Virginia. Lynchburg happens to have the "subtitle" of being the "Heart of Virginia".
My top priority is being a mother, who happens to stay at home, to my three wonderful children. Their ages are ten, eight, and five years old. I have two girls, and a boy who is in the middle.
I'm sure that most, if not all of the gentlemen in this letter that I am addressing are fathers, if not even grandfathers to small children. Or you were at least at some point in your lives. So, you know through experience of the hardships that raising children can parenting 9or grand-parenting) can bring.
But do any one of you TRULY know the hardships of raising a child with "Silent Disabilities". Disabilities that require not only mental or behavioral therapies, but drug therapies as well? I do.
My son, the eight year old has is "Silently Disabled". You cannot tell just by looking or glancing at him that he is legally disabled. That is until he is a Manic fit, his attention wanes to nearly nothing, his focusing and social skills are being impacted, or he has such a violent rage (both emotionally, as well as physically) that you end up on the floor yourself crying along with him.
Because of these problems, not only does my son require behavior and psychological therapy. He also requires medication therapy. Currently, he is on two forms of medication treatment.
One being Seroquel. It is for his Manic Depression, Mood Disorder management, and to help him sleep at night. Or else, he is up ALL night long.
The other is Vyvanse. It is to help him with his ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). And this is the drug he needs to help him focus, pay attention, be able to sit still and quietly (as possible). And it helps his hyperactivity lessen as to carry on more normal and healthy social relationships with his peers.
Sadly, as I sat in my son's Psychiatric appointment on 2/4/2010, I was informed that the branch of Medicaid my son receives, CareNet is unwilling to provide coverage to fill prescriptions for the drug, Vyvanse.
So, when it comes time to fill his prescription for this particular medication (which is nearing very soon), his claim for filing with CareNet will be denied. In turn, I will not be able to get my son's Vyvanse. I CANNOT afford to pay out-of-pocket, (approximately) $250-300.00 for a 30-day supply.
Then, I will have to ask the pharmacy to send in a request for Pre-Authorization to my son's prescribing doctor to "beg" CareNet to let my child have his medication. If that course of action fails, then the doctor will have to call the insurance carrier and do a "round-about" in the hopes of letting my son get his medicine in that fashion.
Do any of you gentlemen have children that are in need of daily medication? Do any of you have (or had at one time) a child like my son? Do you know what it's like to care for a child such as my son?
If you did, then I am very sure that you would never let drug companies and insurance companies (State or Private) bounce "kick-backs" off of one another. Nor would you let the Insurance Company deny YOUR child the medication and/or care that they require to function in a more "normal capacity" that fits within the guidelines of how society as a whole views one another.
I'm not a College-educated individual. I did not graduate High School in the "old fashioned way". I received a GED in my early 20's. But by golly, I am smart enough to know when the government is trying to pocket money, give less to take more and in the end hurt those that they serve.
My son, and countless other children, as well as us parents deserve BETTER treatment. By the medical industry, the pharmaceutical industry, and most of all, by our Government. Our children deserve better.
Our children deserve to have ALL of their needs met. Medical and otherwise. Including their drug therapy.
Make CareNet place Vyvanse back on their coverage so that children such as my son can get the best out of his education, his social skills and his overall general life.
No child deserves to be "left behind".
Sincerely,
Melissa A. Cowart (Lynchburg, Virginia)
Dear Gov. McDonnel, Del. Garret, Rep. Goodlatte, Sen. Webb, Sen. Warner,
I am writing to you as to bring forth to your attention a great error in judgment, let alone compassion for the Common Wealth of Virginia's people.
My name is Melissa Cowart and I am a married, thirty-three year old mother who lives in Lynchburg, Virginia. Lynchburg happens to have the "subtitle" of being the "Heart of Virginia".
My top priority is being a mother, who happens to stay at home, to my three wonderful children. Their ages are ten, eight, and five years old. I have two girls, and a boy who is in the middle.
I'm sure that most, if not all of the gentlemen in this letter that I am addressing are fathers, if not even grandfathers to small children. Or you were at least at some point in your lives. So, you know through experience of the hardships that raising children can parenting 9or grand-parenting) can bring.
But do any one of you TRULY know the hardships of raising a child with "Silent Disabilities". Disabilities that require not only mental or behavioral therapies, but drug therapies as well? I do.
My son, the eight year old has is "Silently Disabled". You cannot tell just by looking or glancing at him that he is legally disabled. That is until he is a Manic fit, his attention wanes to nearly nothing, his focusing and social skills are being impacted, or he has such a violent rage (both emotionally, as well as physically) that you end up on the floor yourself crying along with him.
Because of these problems, not only does my son require behavior and psychological therapy. He also requires medication therapy. Currently, he is on two forms of medication treatment.
One being Seroquel. It is for his Manic Depression, Mood Disorder management, and to help him sleep at night. Or else, he is up ALL night long.
The other is Vyvanse. It is to help him with his ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). And this is the drug he needs to help him focus, pay attention, be able to sit still and quietly (as possible). And it helps his hyperactivity lessen as to carry on more normal and healthy social relationships with his peers.
Sadly, as I sat in my son's Psychiatric appointment on 2/4/2010, I was informed that the branch of Medicaid my son receives, CareNet is unwilling to provide coverage to fill prescriptions for the drug, Vyvanse.
So, when it comes time to fill his prescription for this particular medication (which is nearing very soon), his claim for filing with CareNet will be denied. In turn, I will not be able to get my son's Vyvanse. I CANNOT afford to pay out-of-pocket, (approximately) $250-300.00 for a 30-day supply.
Then, I will have to ask the pharmacy to send in a request for Pre-Authorization to my son's prescribing doctor to "beg" CareNet to let my child have his medication. If that course of action fails, then the doctor will have to call the insurance carrier and do a "round-about" in the hopes of letting my son get his medicine in that fashion.
Do any of you gentlemen have children that are in need of daily medication? Do any of you have (or had at one time) a child like my son? Do you know what it's like to care for a child such as my son?
If you did, then I am very sure that you would never let drug companies and insurance companies (State or Private) bounce "kick-backs" off of one another. Nor would you let the Insurance Company deny YOUR child the medication and/or care that they require to function in a more "normal capacity" that fits within the guidelines of how society as a whole views one another.
I'm not a College-educated individual. I did not graduate High School in the "old fashioned way". I received a GED in my early 20's. But by golly, I am smart enough to know when the government is trying to pocket money, give less to take more and in the end hurt those that they serve.
My son, and countless other children, as well as us parents deserve BETTER treatment. By the medical industry, the pharmaceutical industry, and most of all, by our Government. Our children deserve better.
Our children deserve to have ALL of their needs met. Medical and otherwise. Including their drug therapy.
Make CareNet place Vyvanse back on their coverage so that children such as my son can get the best out of his education, his social skills and his overall general life.
No child deserves to be "left behind".
Sincerely,
Melissa A. Cowart (Lynchburg, Virginia)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
It finally CLICKED with him!!!!
The difference is defiantly there. I have seen it every morning and most of every afternoon this week. At first, the change was subtle. But now, I can see the big impact.
His change in attitude, compliance, task maintaining and overall general behavior has taken a polarizing shift. And for the BETTER!
Bryce has really "grown" in the last six days. Since about Friday or Saturday. We noticed lately that he is starting to be more responsible with his personal property. Although OTHERS' property, we are still working on with him. But he is now actually asking to use something (like Hayley's DS game) than just swiping it.
Also, he is keeping up better with maintaining his room. Of course he is a boy. He will have "messes". But as of late, he is trying harder to put the items in their proper places, make his bed and have his room mostly clean.
Also, since Monday morning, he has been eating his cereal, dressing, and redying his backpack in a sufficient and timely manner. I have barely needed to "crawl up his butt" to get him motivated and moving to ready for the school day. Even waking up is no longer a chore. He gets up BEFORE me (by a few minutes) and is ready to start the day with his breakfast.
The only real problem I have with Bryce now is that he expects me to get him his cereal right as HE is up and ready. He will even at times come in my room, literally in tears and claim he is "starving" and wants his cereal NOW because he is ready to eat.
Hey now, with all of the GOOD changes, you can't expect me to not still have a little excitement....
For Bryce having so many things wrong with him mentally, this is a HUUUUUUGE step for him, for me, and for our family as a whole. I will take whatever I can get that is POSITIVE in his care.
His change in attitude, compliance, task maintaining and overall general behavior has taken a polarizing shift. And for the BETTER!
Bryce has really "grown" in the last six days. Since about Friday or Saturday. We noticed lately that he is starting to be more responsible with his personal property. Although OTHERS' property, we are still working on with him. But he is now actually asking to use something (like Hayley's DS game) than just swiping it.
Also, he is keeping up better with maintaining his room. Of course he is a boy. He will have "messes". But as of late, he is trying harder to put the items in their proper places, make his bed and have his room mostly clean.
Also, since Monday morning, he has been eating his cereal, dressing, and redying his backpack in a sufficient and timely manner. I have barely needed to "crawl up his butt" to get him motivated and moving to ready for the school day. Even waking up is no longer a chore. He gets up BEFORE me (by a few minutes) and is ready to start the day with his breakfast.
The only real problem I have with Bryce now is that he expects me to get him his cereal right as HE is up and ready. He will even at times come in my room, literally in tears and claim he is "starving" and wants his cereal NOW because he is ready to eat.
Hey now, with all of the GOOD changes, you can't expect me to not still have a little excitement....
For Bryce having so many things wrong with him mentally, this is a HUUUUUUGE step for him, for me, and for our family as a whole. I will take whatever I can get that is POSITIVE in his care.
Friday, January 15, 2010
"Retard!"
As of just a little while ago, I became a member of a FaceBook group that advocates for children and adults with mental and physical handicaps. The group centers their advocacy around educating the public about using the term "retard" when referring to severely handicapped persons.
Here is the link for the group. Check it out if you are interested. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5039649875 (Please Don't Say "Retard")
My son, as some of my readers know, is deemed by our state as being handicapped. He has several mental disorders that affect his ability to have a "normal" life that his peers have. He struggles daily in some form or fashion with his symptoms, which are many to count.
At one time, I myself was legally deemed handicapped. I even had a special parking sticker for my parent's car. I required a tracheotomy from birth, until I was almost a teenager. And I also had required carrying around specialized equipment in the car where ever we went, in case I needed assistance with clearing my lungs.
There were countless times through those years that men, women and children alike would gawk and stare at me. They would point and snicker. There would be whispers here and there as well. And there was also the occasional "If that were MY kid, I wouldn't take IT out in public. Not when they are RETARDED like that".
Sometimes, it was loud enough that my parents could hear it plain as day. Those people WANTED THEM TO hear what they said.
Other times, people would say it low enough, thinking that they aren't being heard. All the while, my parents could hear them. Believe me. And those people knew it by the way my parents would cut their eyes and walk away. With their heads held high of course.
Words DO cut. They do HURT others. Especially when the words are used in an inappropriate, meaningfully hurtful, non-medical terms. Especially the word 'retard' or 'retarded'.
Here is the definition for "retarded"...
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/retard
Show IPA
Here is the link for the group. Check it out if you are interested. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5039649875 (Please Don't Say "Retard")
My son, as some of my readers know, is deemed by our state as being handicapped. He has several mental disorders that affect his ability to have a "normal" life that his peers have. He struggles daily in some form or fashion with his symptoms, which are many to count.
At one time, I myself was legally deemed handicapped. I even had a special parking sticker for my parent's car. I required a tracheotomy from birth, until I was almost a teenager. And I also had required carrying around specialized equipment in the car where ever we went, in case I needed assistance with clearing my lungs.
There were countless times through those years that men, women and children alike would gawk and stare at me. They would point and snicker. There would be whispers here and there as well. And there was also the occasional "If that were MY kid, I wouldn't take IT out in public. Not when they are RETARDED like that".
Sometimes, it was loud enough that my parents could hear it plain as day. Those people WANTED THEM TO hear what they said.
Other times, people would say it low enough, thinking that they aren't being heard. All the while, my parents could hear them. Believe me. And those people knew it by the way my parents would cut their eyes and walk away. With their heads held high of course.
Words DO cut. They do HURT others. Especially when the words are used in an inappropriate, meaningfully hurtful, non-medical terms. Especially the word 'retard' or 'retarded'.
Here is the definition for "retarded"...
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/retard
re⋅tard
[ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4]
tÉ‘rd for 4/ Show IPA –verb (used with object)
| 1. | to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede. |
–verb (used without object)
–noun | 2. | to be delayed. |
| 3. | a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine. |
| 4. | Slang: Disparaging.
|
| 5. | Automotive, Machinery. an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle. |
Thursday, January 14, 2010
My son is no different from your kid (THANKS ANGEL FOR THE INSPIRATION)
When you see my son, what do you see? Do you see the happiness he can have most of the time? Do you see that he can be sly at any given moment? Do you see how much he loves his family?
Can you see that my son is Bipolar, with OCD, ADHD, Asperger's Tendensies, Anxiety Disorder and Behavior Disorder?
When our children with these 'problems' have an 'off" day of lashing out and being 'abnormal', it is OUR normal. We have gotten used to the stares and whispers out in the public eye. Especially when an episode from the Mania he experiences just suddenly pops up during a shopping trip or other outting.
Sure all is fine and good with the world around us....Until it happens. Bryce's eyes glaze over in a "haze" and get a more sharp tone. His voice is quiet. His movement almost at a stand still. Then it happens. OUTBURST!
Next thing I know, I am having to take Bryce off to the side to talk him down, maybe even bear hug him from behind. Otherwise he is going to try and knock things over, run off, or hit someone (mainly me or his sisters).
And this is where the world's judges come in. They gawk and stare at the "evil" little boy and the parents that obviously can't "control" their kid. They see that as one of us is dealing with Bryce, the other is trying to maintain calmness with Hayley and Skyler, as to not have them feel upset or embarrassed.
Once everything is said and done, the calm comes as the storm passes. And everything is as it once was before the Episode hit. And yes, these can occur at ANY given moment at ANY time of day, in ANY place (even in the home).
What you see as an "outsider" looking in though is NOT what I see. I don't see the "evil" little child that is unruly and needs his "ass whipped more often".
What I personally see as Bryce's mother, and Scott sees in his son as the boy's father is the potential that our son has to become a normal and productive member of society.
Bryce is in mainstream classes at school. And in ADVANCED Math and Reading classes.
He has friends and a 'social life'.
Bryce loves to play games on the computer and his sister's DS.
My boy is a Spongebob junkie.
He has a wonderful talent for knowing about Astronomy.
But Bryce also requires monthly Psychiatric sessions because to help curb MOST of the symptoms of all of his disabilities, he needs medication. And to be sure that the medicines are working properly, there are no adverse affects, and that he is overall doing well, he must see a "Shrink".
Okay, yes I said that I "drug" my kid. But, there are SO MANY misconceptions about the medications that are given to Psychiatric patients. Especially those given to children.
My son is not a "zombie'. He is not "foaming at the mouth" or listless. He is functioning at a better rate for his age THANKS TO those drugs. And it helps curb the ideals for him to go and get a hammer or knife and hold it up at me, all the while saying he is GOING TO KILL ME.
Yep, that's actually happened a few times over the years. Why do you think I have to keep the tool room locked? Mainly with the hammer. I don't remember him ever trying it with a knife.
What this is all boiling down to is that for parents such as myself, we are tired of "professionals" telling us what we do or do not know. No one knows our children better than us. And when we cry out for help, we EXPECT someone to be there, listen and do RIGHT by our kids. Not pass us off and think that they 'know' our children. When that happens, dangerous or even fatal errors can occur.
Same goes for society as well. When you see a parent dealing with an "evil little brat", don't assume that the kid is just a 'bad seed' and the parent is just not "parenting right". Look at the scene a little closer. Try for a second to put yourself in their shoes. Because their child might be Special too.
Hidden Disabilities get the most "heat" in this nation and passed off by the general public more than it should be. It's time to stand back and get to know the person before judging them. They are human too and all they ask for, like anyone else is some compassion, understanding, and caring.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Look To The Sunny Side Of Life...
Honestly, I do my best to try and follow that old saying. I really do. Even in the worst of situations. But there are days where it seems just impossible.
Including this morning. It seems almost like what CAN go wrong, HAS gone wrong.Dryer is kaput (though Scott and his brother are going to TRY and fix it this evening). My left Sinus Cavity is ready to just explode. Which in turn is making my "worked on" eye (that had the Cornea Transplant) get red, irritated, and tear like the Hoover Dam.
Add in the mix that the kids have recently been just buck wild, not listening, complaining about one another and having arguments ensue about every ten minutes on average.
Makes for a hectic life, and a hectic household.
It's not easy being a housewife, a stay-at-home-mom, and the accountant, the cook, the referee, the waitress, the maid, the laundress, the nurse, the doctor and all of the other "hats of expectation" that us SAHM's wear on a daily basis.
All the while, you are TRYING to take care of yourself, your needs. In the end, apparently, you have to take care of YOU and make sure yourself that YOU are getting the care you need and deserve. Because everyone else is too self-centered to see that once in a while YOU need to be "catered" to.
Some ask me how I stay so positive through it all...My son's mental disabilities/delays, taking care of the house and the kids, being my husband's "right hand girl" and trying to tackle getting better after saving my sight with a transplant surgery.
Really, I think you need to tell me. Because I honestly do not know. Sure I have my days of feeling "worthless", or like I am nothing but a maid to everyone. Yes, I admit it, some days I feel "used" by my kids and my hubsband. I know I am valued and loved. But they don't always show it.
And I also admit, that on some days I can be much the same way. I don't always show how much I value, love, and appreciate my family. But I do with all of my heart and all of my soul.
So, even though today I feel like I need a chisel to open up my nostril, that I feel like someone is holding a lit candle to my eye, my nerves are frayed and I am desperately seeking my dryer back in to working order, I shall try my best to "look on the sunny side of what life has to offer".
Including this morning. It seems almost like what CAN go wrong, HAS gone wrong.Dryer is kaput (though Scott and his brother are going to TRY and fix it this evening). My left Sinus Cavity is ready to just explode. Which in turn is making my "worked on" eye (that had the Cornea Transplant) get red, irritated, and tear like the Hoover Dam.
Add in the mix that the kids have recently been just buck wild, not listening, complaining about one another and having arguments ensue about every ten minutes on average.
Makes for a hectic life, and a hectic household.
It's not easy being a housewife, a stay-at-home-mom, and the accountant, the cook, the referee, the waitress, the maid, the laundress, the nurse, the doctor and all of the other "hats of expectation" that us SAHM's wear on a daily basis.
All the while, you are TRYING to take care of yourself, your needs. In the end, apparently, you have to take care of YOU and make sure yourself that YOU are getting the care you need and deserve. Because everyone else is too self-centered to see that once in a while YOU need to be "catered" to.
Some ask me how I stay so positive through it all...My son's mental disabilities/delays, taking care of the house and the kids, being my husband's "right hand girl" and trying to tackle getting better after saving my sight with a transplant surgery.
Really, I think you need to tell me. Because I honestly do not know. Sure I have my days of feeling "worthless", or like I am nothing but a maid to everyone. Yes, I admit it, some days I feel "used" by my kids and my hubsband. I know I am valued and loved. But they don't always show it.
And I also admit, that on some days I can be much the same way. I don't always show how much I value, love, and appreciate my family. But I do with all of my heart and all of my soul.
So, even though today I feel like I need a chisel to open up my nostril, that I feel like someone is holding a lit candle to my eye, my nerves are frayed and I am desperately seeking my dryer back in to working order, I shall try my best to "look on the sunny side of what life has to offer".
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Why have I not walked away yet?
How many times have you just wanted to give up? Be it getting ahead financially, the house getting back in order, getting the kids to listen or any other number of possible problems that we all face.
I've personally wanted to throw in the towel so many times that I have officially lost count. Okay, it's because I have no more fingers or toes to count on, being that all twenty of them are used up.
For those of us with children that have disabilities, the number can skyrocket. Especially if they have mental disabilities that make their personalities and moods change like the weather.
There have been days that I just want to leave my screaming, hateful, physically violent child and walk away. I get so tired. It is often times just too draining to deal with anymore. Both physically and mentally.
Those that have Neuro-Typical children (i.e. normal kids with normal heads) always tell us moms of kids like my son "If it were me, I wouldn't be able to handle it. How can you deal with this everyday?".
The answer is simple. We do it because we love our child too much to walk away.
They need us. And in the end, we need them too. Our children deserve as much "normalcy" as we can provide. And we are their only true advocates in this world to ensure that they get the best life that is obtainable.
Once again this morning, Bryce had an "off morning". Once again, I had to deal with whining, crying, back-talking, trying to swing at me and be in a total anti-behavioral mode.
People have seen me in public with him when he "snaps" like this and just stare. Why? Most likely because I am stern, but I'm not "loud" with him as I try to curb his "wild side". I have had people who have gotten to know us ask how I do it. How I stay so calm and collected.
My secret? At times I walk away. Even as Bryce is being belligerent. If I don't and the tempers are both flaring, I might say or do something that I can't take back. So I walk away, take a breath, go back right away and deal with him and the situation.
Yes, there are power struggles. Daily. And with Bryce, thanks to his problems, they are magnified by one hundred it seems. His brain computes emotions, ideals, and comprehension much differently from a "normal" child his age (Bryce is 8).
So, if you are having a really bad, no good, horrible day with your child, then just walk away for a bit. Be it to lock yourself in the bathroom or bedroom. Go outside and get a breath of fresh air on the porch.
Just be sure that the child in question (and any other children in the home) is safe.
Once you are calm, then deal with the situation and the child at hand. It's better than the alternative, which has a more negative outcome.
I've personally wanted to throw in the towel so many times that I have officially lost count. Okay, it's because I have no more fingers or toes to count on, being that all twenty of them are used up.
For those of us with children that have disabilities, the number can skyrocket. Especially if they have mental disabilities that make their personalities and moods change like the weather.
There have been days that I just want to leave my screaming, hateful, physically violent child and walk away. I get so tired. It is often times just too draining to deal with anymore. Both physically and mentally.
Those that have Neuro-Typical children (i.e. normal kids with normal heads) always tell us moms of kids like my son "If it were me, I wouldn't be able to handle it. How can you deal with this everyday?".
The answer is simple. We do it because we love our child too much to walk away.
They need us. And in the end, we need them too. Our children deserve as much "normalcy" as we can provide. And we are their only true advocates in this world to ensure that they get the best life that is obtainable.
Once again this morning, Bryce had an "off morning". Once again, I had to deal with whining, crying, back-talking, trying to swing at me and be in a total anti-behavioral mode.
People have seen me in public with him when he "snaps" like this and just stare. Why? Most likely because I am stern, but I'm not "loud" with him as I try to curb his "wild side". I have had people who have gotten to know us ask how I do it. How I stay so calm and collected.
My secret? At times I walk away. Even as Bryce is being belligerent. If I don't and the tempers are both flaring, I might say or do something that I can't take back. So I walk away, take a breath, go back right away and deal with him and the situation.
Yes, there are power struggles. Daily. And with Bryce, thanks to his problems, they are magnified by one hundred it seems. His brain computes emotions, ideals, and comprehension much differently from a "normal" child his age (Bryce is 8).
So, if you are having a really bad, no good, horrible day with your child, then just walk away for a bit. Be it to lock yourself in the bathroom or bedroom. Go outside and get a breath of fresh air on the porch.
Just be sure that the child in question (and any other children in the home) is safe.
Once you are calm, then deal with the situation and the child at hand. It's better than the alternative, which has a more negative outcome.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
It's time for....Wacky Wednesday!!
Why oh why! Why must Wednesday always end up feeling more like a Monday?
Are the planets that out of alignment, that the gods play tricks on us by switching Monday to Wednesday? Makes you wonder. Okay... It makes ME wonder.
Today is already starting out to be wacky. And it is yet to be even nine o'clock.
Sure it started out good. All three kids got up and dressed for school in a timely fashion (down fall number one really). All three ate their breakfast with no hesitation or argument (downfall number two). And Skyler ran behind when it came to getting on her shoes, jacket, and backpack (downfall number three that did the rest of the day in).
Now, I don't get to go in to the school to volunteer today. There are a couple of things that are wacked out of alignment to do so.
One, it's raining cats, dogs and gerbils outside. This Mama don't play in the rain anymore. When she does, she gets S-I-C-K! Even with the umbrella. Yes...My karma/luck sucks that bad!
Two, I get to have a 'lovely' conversation later this morning via phone with Social Security for our 'every-six-month-tell-you-the-same-as-six-months-before' Financial Review. Hey, at least it's over the phone, right?!
Although, there is that pesky problem of jipping my kid out of over two hundred dollars because some lame brain that has no clue how to do math (at least estimates) went and said my husband POSSIBLY made waaaaay over a certain amount in several different months. Even when I know for a fact that no overtime was earned.
So, with that said, me and Math Magician Mike are going to have a nice talk about his lack of math skills. You have to love the Government when it comes from stealing from your kid's SSI and waiting to tell you at the last minute of their dastardly plan, after waiting for OVER A YEAR to come to the conclusion that they have been so-called over paying my son, based on his father's pay (which is NO WHERE near their 'estimates').
Well, that is all about what is going on with my Wacky Wednesday. How about yours?
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