FUF .... With Angel and Christy

Well, it's been a good while since I have jumped on the band wagon. But now is certainly the time.

So, I'm joining Christy and Angel in letting off some steam. It's Friday. So that means it's..




Fawk you Walmart Online Shopping! I love you, but right now I don't like you very much. Why? Because when I had placed my order, it said that BOTH the comforter and the bed sheet set were in for me to pick up TODAY. Because it was IN STOCK. Only when I got it this morning (Friday), all I was able to get was the sheets. Your BOH (Balance on Hand) was all fucked up. It should have read ZERO. If it did, I would NEVER have placed the order. Instead, the dipshit that didn't do their job had it as 4 or 5. Were they invisible comforters?

Fawk you, cataract! You are screwing with me too much these days. I have a hard time reading small print and my night vision in that eye is TERRIBLE. But when it counts, like oh.. getting some READING glasses, your ass gives me 20/30 vision. So, now I have to wait three..count them, THREE more months before the doctor would consider giving me glasses. I so cannot wait to have us part ways and get my implant.

Fawk you, Pokemon! Get your shit together and put more merchandising of your brand out on store shelves. I looked, and looked, and looked, and... You get the idea. Not even Ebay, Amazon or Walmart had your bedding. Not in ANY form. My boy is nuts (yes, legally, but also in the (overly) excited sense, too) about your show and most of it's characters. With Dad home early in the mornings now, that is their pre-bus-boarding ritual to watch your show after the kids dress for school. Instead, I had to give him Transformers, which he likes, but I don't think he will almost pee himself from excitement from opening that gift of Christmas morning.

Fawk you, Blogger! Your not letting me see ALL of the blogs that I care to have in my Reader List is really pissing me off. I shouldn't have to constantly refresh, or even retry the entire link just to (hopefully) have the blog(s) I'd love to see in my Blog Roll.

The "Pregnancy Game" Statuses On FaceBook

I'm pretty certain that those of you reading this, have a FaceBook page. And I'll bet you two to one, that at least once, within your News Feed, you have seen the now infamous "cravings game". The status goes like this...

""I'm _weeks and craving _"

It is inboxed to LADIES ONLY on FaceBook, and specifically in the email, like the bra and purse games, you are not to NOT tell the men about it, and to keep them guessing what it's all about. All the while, it is SUPPOSED TO be promoting Breast Cancer Awareness.

Here's one little flaw. BC Awareness is NEXT month, people! In October. Not in September. And it sure as hell is not in August (when it started to circulate)!

And here is flaw number two. Do you all know what other Awareness time it is, in OCTOBER, that coincides with Breast Cancer Awareness Month? Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Personally, I see it as being insensitive to Breast Cancer survivors and those that sadly lost the battle, to use pregnancy "jokes" as a means to raise awareness. Being that it, as well as the bra thing is NOTHING in relation to the subject of Breast Cancer. And yes, to me, it is also in a way, distasteful to make it a "game" when there are many women (and men) that have lost a baby during pregnancy.

If you (general use, not to any specific person) are going to try and raise awareness for something or a cause you believe in, then it's best to "shoot from the hip" and state specifically what the nature of the subject is. Not to make others wonder (especially saying WOMEN ONLY CAN KNOW WHAT IT REALLY MEANS). That does not a thing to raise awareness for the ACTUAL cause/subject.

Plus think about this...men are MEN. They aren't going to sit and think "oh look, I think that these ladies are trying to make us aware of a deadly disease that can even strike men". They are just sitting there, wondering "WTH is this crap with weeks and cravings for all these candies?". Sad, but true. Even my husband has said it's not doing a single thing to "raise awareness".

As a mom that has lost 2 angel babies, and as a daughter-in-law that has a MIL who has survived BC twice and other cancers as well, I'm sorry, but yes I am a bit offended, and I have strong oppositions to "games" like this that don't do a thing for the "root point" of awareness.

*Wander with me over at FOR THE LOVE OF BLOGS and join in the fun!*

"Fawk You Friday!" With Angel and BBB.

I'm certainly in need of a good FUF post today. And I rightfully deserve it. Don't like it? Then FAWK OFF!



Fawk You!! Blogger. You screwed up EVERYONE'S stuff. What was to be "routine" maintenance, turned in to the Blogosphere's version of Hell. I lost a follower on EACH of my four blogs. I have wonky-looking link tags and lost ALL my comments from my readers on the blogs you were so kind to (finally) find and put back up.

FAWK YOU!! To sensitive people who can't take a damn joke. What was SUPPOSED to be a lighthearted look at what I saw coming as a SAH mom with Summer Break looming, turning in to YET ANOTHER "Mommy War".

FAWK YOU!! To a friend (yes I still love her, but she crossed the line) who while I understand you were defending your sister, she was doing a fine job of it on her own. But YOU my dear just had to go the fuck off on a tangent when the misunderstanding was CLEARLY over, seeing as NEITHER of us (me and the other sister in question) said anything more.

FAWK YOU!! This one goes out to certain family members (mainly one in question) who I'm tired of having to "cater to". It's not fair that I basically HAVE TO do x, y or z but get nothing in return unless I practically beg. Or say that you (the one certain family member) are my last resort.

But YOU expect EVERYONE to take you places, help pick up YOUR kid and to watch said kid. It's NOT OUR fault that you have no license (because honestly you are too lazy, not that you can't due to legalities at this point), have no other mode of transportation, have no REAL and steady job (sorry but working privately "under the table" isn't going to pay the bills and using the 'I need more money to do this/that job and I'm too good for that job' attitude ain't helping ya).

And you pay NO ONE a damn dime for ANY of the shit we all do for you. And we are ALL tired of being used. It costs MONEY that we really do NOT have in our pockets to burn the extra gas. And you go off and get all pissy if one of says no to taking you somewhere or can't because of a prior obligation. Last I checked, we also had a life and are NOT the center of the universe, either.

FAWK YOU!! To the "help" for my husband at work. Must be nice to (on average) get 3 out of 4 Saturdays off every month. Especially being that YOU are on the bottom (pretty much) of the Seniority Totem Pole.

If my husband is not allowed to have NEXT Saturday off for what will be the last HUGE Family Reunion (where EVERYONE from both sides of his late grandfather's side of the family) for us before his Grandmother passes (who says she KNOWS she hasn't got much longer herself and has pretty much given up since his passing where being alone is concerned) then I truly think that the UNION Reps should have it brought to their attention. Because last I checked, SENIORITY rules. And you my friend are NOT above my husband anywhere in that store.

My husband busts HIS ass more so than the other guy EVER does but the "help" gets "rewarded" with his (every weekend) request to have Saturday off. Something is VERY wrong with this picture. Must be nice to have EVERY effing Saturday off with YOUR family.

True, my husband gets Sundays off (for the most part), but those are "automatic" due to his boss's scheduling preference and the fact it is scheduled around the truck's schedule of when they drop off orders. NOT because my husband pencils in Sundays off EVERY effing week. Big difference.

Shooo!!! I feel somewhat better after unloading all that crap off my barely-there chest. Next week won't be too much better. I have to be at the school almost every single day for something or another, being it's the last week of school. But it's going to be a FUN week.

Laters!

PYHO... Mommy Wars

*Please remember, for some of us, this is the only place to be able to vent in a safe way, as to avoid the unneeded negativity that may already be occurring in our lives. In other words, if you have nothing constructive, and uninsulting to say, please refrain or move on. Or else, I let Angel come at you with one of her flaming vlogs.*

Yesterday morning, over on my FaceBook profile, I put a little lighthearted post up about this being the last two weeks of school. My exact words were...

"All the kids are off to school and here I sit, sipping my second cup of coffee. Best enjoy it while I can. In two weeks, the peace will NOT be with me. For 2 months."

In a nutshell, I meant no malice. I was not whining (as a friend had stated on behalf of her sister) and yes, indeed KNOW that I am VERY fortunate to be home with my kids.

But it wasn't always this way. I have also been a working mother as well in my time. And I missed some important areas of growth in two of my children because of it. When my third (and last) came along, I quit my job because honestly, there was no way, even with BOTH of our incomes, could afford full and part time child care for THREE kids. So I left and never went back in to the workforce.

ALL of us mothers (and fathers) work hard. Both inside and outside of the home. Only real difference is that some mothers get to earn monetary income, as well as have the house duties (and parental duties). And some of us don't earn more than kisses or hugs, which in my mind trumps all the monetary pay in the world.

"I would say you are pretty lucky!"...Yes, I am. But also, I didn't post what I did as to gain sympathy or bragging rights.

Is this what posting anything in the way of parenting has come to? Picking a war over a joke? Hell, I even made it in to a "Yoda-ism" near the end.

I'm NO better in the parenting department, being a mother who stays home, than the working girl next door with a kid or two. We both have the same job description where being a parent is concerned. Love, nurture and support our kids.

But believe me when I say, staying home 24/7 is no real picnic either. I would LOVE to be able to once again earn money from a day's work. I would love to have ADULT interactions outside of my home and the school setting (where I volunteer).

Then again, my line of work to go back to would NOT allow me the schedule I would need. Not in the retail life. It's not a "9 to 5" environment with every weekend off. And you can never really plan anything around your schedule, because that ALWAYS is changing.

Basically, there are pros and cons in BOTH areas of being a parent who works and who stays home. I may JOKE about the fact that Summertime will bring me little to no peace (which is VERY true), I will STILL enjoy the time I will have with my kids being home.

Like another mommy-friend said to me last night, "If your children don't annoy you at least once a week, you aren't around them enough". So true there! And believe me, I'm around mine enough, that the gray hairs just keep piling on my head. But I don't love, nor do I not want to be with them any less.

That FB post meant that I am being HUMAN, as well as realistic of what's to come with Summer break looming.

Just because I am a mother, it does NOT mean I have to "enjoy" having NO peacefulness or "me time" to take time for ME, and instead place myself last.

Which I do anyways.

I said I wouldn't Do It...

Since the kids had started to attend their current school, I have always helped at the Fall and the Spring Book Fairs.

It's a fun experience. Especially when you are working in the "store" with the kids from Pre-Kindergarten, through the Second Grades. They need the most help to navigate the areas, to write down what they wish to purchase and then actually help them make their purchases. It's very hands-on, one-on-one work.

But in reality, it's fun to see EVERY child from every grade level come in to the Book Fair and show their enthusiasm for their love of reading. I don't care if it's a "Pokemon" book or a "Clifford The Big Red Dog" book, or a trivia book. Reading is reading.

This year though, I had planned on taking a break for the entire year from doing the Book Fair. I'd gotten out of doing the Fall Book Fair, seeing as the school's PTO Board ran it this year.

And so I was just going to bow out and let others help run the Spring Book Fair as to give me a break from doing it a fourth year in a row.

No luck.

There aren't enough volunteers to help with the entire week's run. Even though when doing the Volunteer paperwork at the beginning of the year, we had several sign up to help with Book Fairs this school year. But most, if not all, backed out, even though they had ample notice of the dates to choose from as to help out.

Believe me, volunteering at a school's Book Fair is NOT easy. It's time consuming and even physically demanding. Especially when dealing with the little kids of the school. It takes time for them to look around and pick. They have SO many "favorites" and love so many different topics at the ages of four to seven, that it makes your head want to spin and pop off.

Between this year and last school year, I've noticed a decent decline in the number of volunteers that ACTIVELY volunteer at my childrens' school. There are even some people who are signed up to do tasks AT HOME. Like cutting out soup labels and box tops.

But it's becoming an alarming trend there, and most likely around the community's other schools, if not most everywhere in the school system, that when you "call upon" the volunteers that signed all the paperwork and went through the background checks to be an approved volunteer (yes, I to MUST have a BG Check every year) and ask to be called upon for which tasks that they signed up for, that they suddenly back out when you need them.

So my question is... Why sign up to be a School Volunteer in the first place? You are not only hurting us Volunteer Coordinators, but also the school staff (mainly teachers) and those kids. And ANYTHING, no matter how little or seemingly insignificant goes a LONG way. We (in our school's setting) have something for EVERYONE where volunteering is concerned. Even for those that speak a foreign language.

Next week will be MUCH busier than I wanted to have it be. Instead of my one day per week, I get to be there at least for three days of the week. The entire school day. So I'll easily pull in about 21 to about 32 hours of volunteering time next week alone. Depending on if I have to pull an extra day.

I urge you all to volunteer in your community. Be it at a school, a soup kitchen, the hospital or anywhere else that there are volunteering opportunities. You can't imagine how good it feels to know that you have touched someone's life.

To see the smiles on the faces of the children that I work with, especially during Reading groups when they "get it", correct THEMSELVES or read the entire book flawlessly (we are talking about KINDERGARTNER'S people!) it makes everything I do seem effortless and like I have helped them achieve.

Because believe me, copying those books and putting them all together for each of the four groups is NO fun and (literally for me) back breaking.

So to see all of OUR hard work (my putting books together, and them learning how to read them independently) makes it all worth while.

On The Verge Of Letting It Go

It's with a heavy heart that I say that. Because I have put MUCH time and energy in to that blog. I have never made it a "secret" of my belief in the Paranormal or of the things I have personally witnessed and/or experienced.

I've done pieces on various *reportedly and infamously* haunted places. Done writings on various Paranormal topics, and have openly discussed my own experiences or those of my husband and children.

ParanorMel is primarily centered around the topics of ghosts and hauntings. But I have been known to speak of other things such as UFOs and aliens.

Personally, I feel that I have done pretty much everything that I can to "attract" readers and readership. But alas obviously, to no avail.

So, I'm at a point now that if my efforts of piecing together posts on that blog (which CAN and HAVE been tedious to do, depending on need of information or media availability such as videos) are in so-called "vain" then I'm wondering why I'm doing it? It's most certainly not to hear myself talk (so to speak). But to educate others, let others think for themselves and have the opportunity to voice THEIR views and opinions without ridicule or being called nuts or crazy for their beliefs and what they themselves may have experienced within the Paranormal realm.

Honestly, I don't care if you (generally speaking) have a difference of opinion or view. As long as you state your difference in a manner of civility and respectfulness, then I say POST IT and be HEARD. I'm a big girl and I know that I will NEVER always "be right" or will always have people agree with what I see, think and feel about the subject. That's not how life works.

ParanorMel was started as a way to let others see that they are NOT alone in their quest for answers in the world of the "unknown" and as a way for me to document personal experiences of (primarily) myself and of my kids, whom have had experiences of one kind or another since toddler-hood.

I enjoy sharing the stories of experiences with my readers. But when you don't hear from anyone about 99% of the time about what you have written, it's (I feel) time to let it go and move on. And it saddens me that I have come to this point with that blog, seeing as I LOVE journaling there about the Paranormal.

But at what "price" to myself and MY TIME? I take time out of MY day to write posts, some of which CAN and have taken as much as 45 minutes to write, depending on the subject and what media content I wish to place in the piece. And to have my work subsequently 'ignored' 99% out of 100% of the time, to me is obscene and a proverbial "slap in the face" to me and my work.

My time could be better well spent, in all honesty. But I write for various reasons. And in ParanorMel, I write as to give others hope, reassurance, and to see what my "paranormal life" is like.

With that said, I feel that it may be time to "close up shop" over on that blog and call it a day. Thoughts?

***SIDE NOTE... This post will be *duplicated* in to ParanorMel as well.***

Valentines Day

Count me out for having a NICE and a ROMANTIC, or a QUIET Valentines Day.

Prospects for keeping the kids is pretty much nil.

Almost $1,000 is going to repairing the van and having the inspection actually pass (thanks to the stupid AIR BAG LIGHT being on still three years later..but NOW suddenly doesn't let the thing pass).

By the end of the day on Monday, I'll most likely even be too tired to go anywhere anyways, being I will have a pretty full day of pulling extra volunteer time at the school.

I started. Enough said there. So my "emotional state" is in an "I don't give a damn" mode.

So as you can see, my Valentines Day is shot and the "big day" isn't even here yet.

I'm "Pouring Out My Heart" as I am "Cleaning Out My Closet".

I decided to "double dip" today, which is really a rare thing. Today, this post will serve as both a participant in Shell's



..and For The Love Of Blog's (Vic's)



As most of my readers know, I required a Corneal Transplant back in October of 2009. I had a bad infection invade the eye its self, then it also eroded the cornea. But I perforated the entire cornea when I accidentally poked myself in the eye.

While I have fairly good eyesight (colors, some shape, light) I still have problems. One being a cataract that will eventually need removal. I still have eight of sixteen stithces left to go.

I have my good days. But lately, I have had a rough go. I don't often complain on here or on Facebook or Twitter. I don't want to sound like a "whiner".

And most people, if they don't understand that a transplant is NOT a "cure all" think that the recipient must be ALWAYS happy and feel "lucky".

In all honesty, lately I've had some trouble where infection is TRYING to attack again. Not bad, but in an annoying way. I am working on getting it calmed as we speak.Add in sinus trouble also making my eye a bit unnerved and it's an all out "party"

Sometimes, I wish that they did take the eye. Then I'd have no more drops, no more stitches needing to removed. No cataract to be taken out. No mounting doctor bills for "after care" that constantly come at me. And no chance of needing a SECOND transplant later on down the road.

Is it selfish and ungrateful of me to think and feel this way? Maybe. But I also feel that my children have been through enough with their mother having one set back after another with her eye in one way or another.

Yes, I am so very thankful to my donor and their family. Without their gift, I would have no sight at all. But also my children and I are paying a price. As is my husband. Not just monetarily.

Organ and tissue transplants are not the cure all to the problem with that organ or tissue. In fact, you go from having one set of problems, to a new kind of set. Mainly dealing with the chance of rejection. It CAN happne a day later or many years down the road. And we live in the thought of "is this the day that it all goes downhill and we have to start over again?". It's not a life I wish on anyone. Even for "just an eye".

I'm angry. At my skin condition that invaded my eye. I'm angry at myself for not getting that under control sooner. I'm angry that my body turned against me. I'm angry that another family had to suffer a loss. I'm angry that it took someone to die for me to be able to see with both of my eyes.

While I may smile and "look" or even "sound" happy on the outside, inside, especially right now, I'm screaming and seething. Because right now, I feel that I have lost a battle (again) that I have fought hard to win and overcome for the last year and a half.

One Hot Mama!...I'm Pretty Ticked & Heed My Warning.

If I could, I would have this shooting out of my head..

And have these shooting from my eyes...

Why?

Because, for the now third or fourth time, my local Walgreen's Pharmacist has messed up. It's one thing to miscount the number of pills. It's also one thing to not even fill one of them. Heck, it's even one thing to place your child's medications in the WRONG "filled and ready to go" bins.

But when your "mistake" at reading the prescription goes as far as one, filling it with the WRONG refill number, as well as with the WRONG DOSE, that is when I am DONE.

And that is also when I write to Corporate Office, and to the District Office, and to the Local Store. Yep. Every single level of Walgreen's got a copy of my letter of complaint about this "mix up".

The medications that my child is on are pretty "powerful" and can have some pretty bad side effects if given wrong. The one that was completely dispensed wrong can hurt his Blood Pressure or even his heart.

What SHOULD HAVE BEEN 2 mg. of a dose at 2 refills was ACTUALLY FILLED as 3 mg. dose with 3 refills.

How does someone read a "copy" wrong? When in doubt CALL THE DOCTOR that prescribed the medication, THEN proceed to fill it. It's not rocket science.

Please, my readers, for your safety and for the safety of your family, especially your children, READ LABELS on the medication bottles. Every time. No matter how many times you filled the same medication.

Here is a copy of my letter to all of the branches of Wallgreen's...

To Whom It May Concern,

I'm writing to complain about the (now) third or fourth "accident" in regards to my son's medications being improperly filled.

My nine-year-old is on medications that can have a great impact on his heart and his blood pressure.

His Intuniv was filled COMPLETELY wrong. I was supposed to have 2 mg dose with 2 refills. Instead I received 3 mg dose and 3 refills.

I cannot tell who had filled my son's medications last night, seeing as you do not have your Pharmacists place their names on the prescriptions that they are having to fill. That alone to me, is discouraging. Because I now cannot tell you in fact WHO ACTUALLY filled my child's medications.

At this time I am NOT "taking my business else where", but do know that I will NOT be talking very kindly about your store, and especially not in regards to this branch.

When filling medications, it means that your staff is literally holding their customer's/patient's lives in their hands. Including children.

Thank you,
Melissa C

(Not So) Hot For Teacher

As most of my readers know, I love volunteering at the school where my three children attend. I primarily work with the Kindergarten classroom that my daughter, Skyler resides at during the school day.

But right now, I'm not very happy with the school and how they are handling the transition of my daughter's class.

First, right before Thanksgiving, the Student Teacher had left after her fifteen weeks of "shadowing" and teaching the class was done as to be able to graduate and get her Teaching Certificate/License. The kids took her going away pretty hard, being that they had grown attached to her, and her to them. She was outstanding! And I loved working with her in the classroom.

Then, just as Winter Break loomed upon us, the second to the last day of school before break began, we got a letter from their teacher letting us know she was forced to resign due to health issues. So needless to say, the Christmas Party I put together for the class also became a Going Away/We'll Miss You party, as well.

Now, for almost an entire month, they've been doing the hiring process to replace the teacher in the Kindergarten classroom. And for at least another two weeks, starting YESTERDAY, there will be a substitute running the class.

There's a few problems with this though..

1) What's her name? None of the kids can tell us. Why? Because according to what many of us moms compared, she NEVER told them! Or said Miss B.

2) Where's the Daily Folder that they are to bring home everyday? Not in my hands! According to the kids, she will send them home today.

3) Subs...Is this one constant for the next two weeks, or are they rotating them?

4) Morning Routine (Calendar, weather, Wall Words, Days of the Week) were NOT done. In fact, according to the kids they did basically NOTHING of their routine or much of anything else the ENTIRE day. Just some coloring and Carpet Time...twice.

It would have been nice to have SOMETHING sent home on the first day as to who the person is and how long that they are staying with the kids (projected time) until they finalize the hiring process.

Us parents were forced to send our Kindergarten-age children to school to be taught by some "stranger" for the next two weeks. That alone was bad enough. But to STILL not know a thing about the person, quite possibly until the next day, to me is utterly absurd and disrespectful of the kids and of us as their parents.

In the event that nothing again is sent home as promised, according to the kids (getting their folders sent home), and especially if there is nothing pertaining to the teacher (introduction letter), then there's a number of us parents that are ready to go as a group on Thursday to the school and confront the matter. We don't like "smoke and mirrors" when it comes to entrusting our SMALL children to others that we know nothing about. We want answers and to know who this person is. Is that really too much to ask?

This is also making me decide firmly at this point, that on Friday I WILL indeed be at school for my Volunteer day as usual. This way, the kids will have SOMEONE that they know and are used to in their environment. Plus I know who tries to pull what, who is sensitive (sensory-wise), who has behavior problems that are out of their control and who are shadows (monkey-see-monkey-do) {mainly if seeing another kid is truly ill feeling}.

What a way to begin the last half of the school year, the beginning of 2011 and the start of a new school week.

Stupid Ex! Try Playing Me Again, Fool.

I swear, there are days that I wish the man would fall in to a fiery pit.

This is definitely one of those days, too.

We've been separated for almost eleven years and divorced for ten (papers arrived in my hands via mail on my birthday of 2000). My oldest child is the child from our marriage. And the ONLY good and positive thing that came from our hellish bond of matrimony.

This morning, my cell was on our night stand in my bedroom. After two calls that were about fifteen minutes apart, my husband brought my phone to me and I called back, thinking that Hayley needed me for something.

So, I called, and her father picks up. I asked if everything was okay, and this is when he proceeds to claim that our daughter wanted to ask me something. I was already prepared to say no, seeing as she has now had four straight weekends, plus two of them being connected by a full week over at his home,it was time for her to come home and stay home.

The only reason she is there this weekend is that for technical and legal reasons, this is his visitation weekend.

After getting her on the phone, I asked her what the question she wanted to ask me was, being that her dad said SHE wanted to ask me "something". Then a pause came and she then says she doesn't know what I'm speaking of and wanted to ask me nothing. So, I told her to put her dad on the line.

I told him that she had NO idea what I was talking about and that if HE has something to ask me, then do so HIMSELF.

Sure enough it was to see if she could stay a "few extra days". NOPE! Right off the bat. I told him she has to come home and spend time with her brother and sister.

It seems the more he realizes I see through his manipulations, the using of my kid that we share and his schemes, the more slick he tries to become.

And honestly, I think this is the lowest form of manipulation. The intentional placement of your child in the middle of their two parents as to hopefully gain what YOU want, not what the CHILD wants.

First it was automatically (without notice or permission) showing up at MY home to pick up or drop Hayley off (which is AGAINST court order, seeing as BOTH parties did NOT agree).

Then, it was wanting to get her "here and there" to take her to the movies. That now started becoming an every-other-week thing (on his 'off' weekends). I stopped letting it be a habit a few weeks ago.

Now, he is going to use our daughter as a scape goat and bold face LIE to me, as he uses her? I do not think so! That ends right here, right NOW.

He's playing with fire. And I can bet you 100%, the man WILL get burned. I know the crap he can be possible of. He can try to screw with me all he wants to.

But I REFUSE, flat out, to let him use my daughter and force her in to the middle.

Then again, I'm sure in her own way, she is starting to see what her "Sperm Donor" is REALLY like.

Follow Me... I DARE YOU!

I love having followers, just like any other writer/blogger. But I want not just "followers", but READERS who are not only willing to read or even (with luck) glance at my pages, but are willing to say something constructive about the piece.

If you notice on the left of my page, you will see that my FOLLOWERS/Google Reader list's numbers have dropped DRAMATICALLY.

Why?

Because I went on and removed all those "followers" that were using me as a "look at how many I follow" tool, and those that spammed my pages with "I followed, now follow me back" BS.

If you are going to REALLY read my stuff and at least make an EFFORT to comment here and there, then by all means join my page! But if I'm just a tool or "numbers game" to you, then really, I do NOT want you to click the "Follow" button.

On ANY of my three blogs...

Here.

ParanorMel.

Or on my newest creation, The "Mental"-ist Mom.

If you know me well, then you know me well enough to get it that I am not in to FAKE people, users or SPAMMERS.

So, if you are one of those three kinds, then please, don't bother my page, get my hopes up or waste my precious time.

Death Panels...Since when is one's life "not budgetable"?

Arizona has a Governor without a heart or a soul. Her state's budget cuts are not only "saving" money, but are also COSTING lives.

Now, two people are dead. Thanks to the budget cuts and the insurance's refusal (due to said cuts) to pay for much-needed transplants.

There's now a list of people in the state of Arizona whom will surely die, being that their assurance of insurance has been cut off because the insurer will not "be able" to pay for the transplants.

Including the one this past week who was needing a kidney transplant.

Yes, the insurance I am speaking of is Government-funded Medicaid. The state's funds for the insurance that helps those that are low-income, too disabled to work or meet other criteria for the (supplemental) insurance will be cut by $1.2 million.

Luckily though, the citizens of Arizona have Senate Minority Leader-Elect David Schapira (Democrat) in their corner. And he is asking to have *emergency* restoration of the Medicaid funds to be put in to place. But only for certain types of transplants.

Thus far, 98 patients are on that list.

Patient Mark Price died in November, as he was desperately awaiting a bone marrow transplant.

Read the full story at... CNN.com

As a transplant recipient myself, to see these kinds of cuts made at the expense of human life, is utterly deplorable. Shame on the state of Arizona, and it's idiot Governor, Janet Brewer.

Rest assured though, that in the event that herself or one of family members or close friends (who were on Medicaid, thanks to job loss or lower income status) suddenly required a transplant of some type, she would be fighting tooth and nail to get their insurance to pay for it.

But hey, it's no one special or important (to the dumb hag called 'Governor') so she feels that she can go to lay her head down at night without the guilt of knowing that she (literally) signed almost one hundred of her citizen's death warrants by her actions of slashing the access to their medical insurance, and to much-needed medical care to stay alive.

Sure, it was "just an eye" to most people. But saving my sight, as well as my entire eye was of utmost importance to me as a mother of three children who are all still under the age of twelve.

If my insurance wasn't there to help cover the cost of my (**$23,000.00**) surgery to have my cornea replaced with a cadaver's cornea, then I would not have my sight, let alone the eye its self. And being a mother, it would have hindered (somewhat) my being the mother I am to my children.

What kind of person wishes to slash funding as to let others be there with their children and grandchildren? A thoughtless Government Official such as Governor Janet Brewer, is who! And the scary part in all of this? If one state does something like this to "save the state money", then most often times, even more states follow and institute these cuts as well.

And that's a scary thought in its self! It will go from just under a hundred, to hundreds, then to thousands. Then, quite possibly the "movement" could cost MILLIONS of lives here in America.

Is this really what our country's Government was built to be all about? Money over it's people.

The more I look, the more I view it in this manner. And it frightens me more and more a bit each and every day, that our children and grandchildren's lives will be placed on the front lines as a means to save a few extra bucks for the Government Officials to pocket.

The money NEEDS to be put back in place. At least some it it, anyways. And for the most needful of transplants (heart, lung, kidney). And Arizona's guidelines on insuring transplants needs to be overhauled as well. No one's life is above another's. Or at least it shouldn't be.

I can understand (at this time) that they cannot cover ALL types of transplants. But give those with the biggest fights ahead, the biggest chance at living.

Is this really too much to ask, Gov. Janet Brewer?

Some People Make Me Want To Bang My Head On The Desk...(Blog Hop Stuff)

What part(s) of the following do people apparently NOT get when I post this??...

"The *ONLY* stipulation I have is to please LEAVE A *GENUINE* COMMENT here on my page to show that you have read it. Not a copy/paste thing or a "I followed you/follow me back" comment... I am okay with people stating if they came from another blog hop and found me. But I don't play the "followed you/follow me back" game.

**If you cannot abide by that one simple rule for linking on my page, I wish for you to NOT link it at all. I hope you understand. Thanks.."

You will find this one my posts that I add my Linky Tools link up button to. And that is only maybe (now) twice a week to run in time with For The Love Of Blogs as to give them more exposure and to further help out my fellow bloggers from that community and other places within the blogosphere.

I don't "have to" add the tool to any of my blogs. I do it because I want to and I like helping others to gain more readers. Not just myself.

Thanks to "link and run" types of "users and abusers" of the link up ability to my page, I removed it. Then decided to bring it back here and there. Then, I felt that I wanted to help Vic and Ashley at FLOB by also doing a link up capability on the posts I run to show case them and two of their blog hops I'm involved with.

So now, I will say it this way from now on in ALL FUTURE blog hop posts that I provide a link up tool for others to add to...

"The *ONLY* stipulation I have is to please LEAVE A *GENUINE* COMMENT here on my page to show that you have read it. Not a copy/paste thing or a "I followed you/follow me back" comment... I am okay with people stating if they came from another blog hop and found me. But I don't play the "followed you/follow me back" game.

**If you cannot abide by that one simple rule for linking on my page, I wish for you to NOT link it at all, nor even leave a COMMENT on my page.

If *anyone* is caught breaking the rules for MY BLOG PAGE and the way I wish to run MY blog hop/link up, then the comment and/or blog link and button will be DELETED.

I hope you understand. Thanks.."...

Now, do you all think that THIS will make it clear? Especially if you have actually READ FTLOB's "rules" about blog hopping and leaving comments on other's blogs. They also *DO NOT CONDONE* copy/paste comments or the "followed you/follow me back" comments and also feel it is TACKY as well as RUDE.

If these things keep happening on my blog, then I will put an END TO PROVIDING a link up/blog hop on my blog page.

Daydreaming, ADHD & Team Building

It's been a strange start to the week. Monday wasn't too bad as far as Monday's go. Tuesday was Election Day for Mid-Terms. I even voted for Tazmanian Devil to get City Court Clerk. Instead some idiot I have no clue about got the spot. I think Taz would have done a fine job myself. And last night was also the monthly appointment for Bryce, my Special Needs child.

It's becoming increasingly apparent that the medications that he is on for the ADHD are helping. But not to the extent that we would care to see. He is on the maximum dose of Vyvanse. And we are upping his Intuniv to three mgs. to see if that may help a bit more.

But also, the teachers MUST be willing to work more with him. And with us. In a COMPLETE team effort. They have yet to realize that NOT EVERYTHING he does is within HIS control. A lot of it has to do with the ADHD and its severity taking control and causing him to wander, be completely distracted, blurting out, cutting in to conversations or instruction. He even said one of the teachers mainly lectures for the entire time, every single day. An ADHD kid CANNOT handle more than five to ten minute increments of "lecturing".

These people are expecting him to pull off the impossible. To stay on task, focus completely and listen 100% of the time, during the entire day. While us "normal" people CAN do that, a child with severe ADHD cannot. They do not have the control over their brains to obtain such feats.

Even the doctor had agreed with me when I stated that basically my child is in a constant daydream. His brain NEVER slows down enough to tackle one specific thing at a time. His mind is a jumbled mess twenty-four hours a day, unless people are willing to re-direct him, work with him and help ensure that he is keeping on track with the task at hand.

For the last several years, myself and Bryce's Case Manager have hit one stumbling block after another. Even though Bryce is listed BY THE STATE, as well as by FEDERAL GOVERNMENT (seeing as he DOES collect SSDI) as being "disabled", my child has been turned down time and time again for in-school services. This means he cannot get an IEP, a 504 Plan, most accommodations. Why? Because he is SO damn smart and "making the grade", that his disability isn't "showing" enough through his grades to "mandate needs" for Specialized Services through the school system.

Excuse me??? So in a nut shell, they are stating that being my child does not have a severe intellectual impediment, he isn't deaf or blind, can walk and talk just like any other "normal" person, that he does NOT qualify for a damn thing, seeing as he DOES have behavioral issues that severely impact social skills and daily living skills. Just getting him to do a five minute task can take easily twenty minutes or more.

At school, about three weeks ago, he was SUPPOSED TO go to the bathroom that sits kitty-corner from the classroom. But about ten minutes later, he was found to be down the hall at the Second Grade area, just standing there, watching in to one of the classrooms. And he honestly cannot say why, or how he "got there".

He is ALWAYS "forgetting" his FINISHED homework. No matter how much I have tried, the boy is incessantly disorganized with his binder.

All he does is get in to trouble in school for wandering the room, not staying on task, speaking out of turn, bugging the other students in class, not following (multiple) directions (which is EXTREMELY hard for Bryce to accomplish), wandering the halls and being a "behavioral nuisance".

Now, someone PLEASE DO tell me, how are these "problems" that the teachers are always complaining of NOT being addressed in their correct manner? As in, with Specialized Services being readily available and in use with and for my child? How bad does it honestly have to get with his behavior and "daydreaming" for them to FINALLY take a hard look and actually GIVE HIM the services Bryce is RIGHTFULLY due?

Honestly, sometimes Public Education amazes me. And *not* in a good way, mind you. So, if I seem angry in this post, and in general, you can bet your ass I am! I'm tired of the run-arounds, the blind-eyes and the refusal to HELP my child live up to his full potential and get the best educational opportunity available.

Being a Mother (Or Wife) *Really Is* A 'Thankless' Job!

I honestly DO love being my children's mother. They bring smiles to my face in one way or another, almost on a daily basis.

I've laughed with them. I've cried with them. I've laughed at their actions or words. I've cried for them.

All in all, I would die for them, if need be. I would do almost anything for them. Almost.

When you hear women say that motherhood is a 'thankless' job, they aren't kidding! It truly is a 'thankless' job, indeed. No pay (as in no monetary gain), no vacation (even when you ARE on vacation, away from the kids), no sick days (being you still most of the time, end up caring for them, even when feeling your worst), and no promotion (being that you have the highest job in the "company").

You cook. You clean. You ensure that they have all that they need, basics-wise. You make sure that they are up, ready, and prepared for school each morning. And never once (or so rare, that we often forget it has been said) do you get a "thanks for all that you do, Mom" comment from them.

Lately, I have gotten really tired. Tired of being the (Not Very) Merry Maid around the house. No matter what I threaten my kids with, be it loss of TV or computer time, or any other interests that I can take away, it doesn't seem to sink in.

It's a CONSTANT battle to get, let alone KEEP the house (especially their rooms and the play/family room) decently clean for more than twenty-four hours at a time. And instead of THEM HELPING to clean up around the house (mainly their own messes), I end up having to. Or else I have "consequences" to pay. Such as hearing my husband bitch and moan.

In fact, I also have to clean up after him. It's little things. But even then, I feel it is a bit...hypocritical of him to get on the kids about not cleaning up after themselves, but he leaves band-aid wrappers laying around, or a glass on the table.

It must be nice to go to your job, work your ass off, and when you do something that is "above and beyond", you get a compliment. Praise is a nice "payment" or "reward" for a job well done.

Sadly though, many a mother and/or wife that stays home all day doesn't hear those simple, few words that can and does make her day. What are they, you ask?

"The house looks really good. You did a good job".

Honestly, how hard IS this for any man to say? Must be almost impossible. I get "dumped on" with his daily work happenings. I also get told of the GOOD points of his day as well. The same with the kids.

The minute I try to talk about my "roses and thorns" though, I get deaf ears and practically ignored. Or at times even told "I don't want to hear it"...Nice, huh?

I know for a fact, that I am far from being the ONLY wife/mother with these thoughts, and these "situations". But just once in a while, I want to be seen as more than that. I want more than JUST the respect of being 'just' a wife to my husband, and 'just' the mother to my children.

For so many years, I have been struggling to keep MY identity. My pre-wife and my pre-motherhood identities. Thus far, I think I have failed in still trying to be the ME that I was before husbands and kids. I know that I am more than these two things. But apparently, I am not viewed in any other manner. At least not in my own home.

This may be far from the truth. I'm sure that my husband would tell me otherwise. But then again, 'actions speak louder than words'.

Walgreens Drugs should have been named "Failgreens".

At this point in time, I have nothing good to say about this company. At least not where my local store is concerned. While the staff IS friendly, they have a major problem with CORRECTLY filling drug prescriptions for ONE client.

No one should have to (after this evening) make THREE trips to the pharmacy to pick up my child's medications. Why? Because I got only ONE of three to be filled (along with his sister's one).

Then, I had to go get the ones left behind (that are NORMALLY bagged together), only to get 5 freaking pills from a 30-day supply refill. Because apparently (without my knowledge) they were running low.

Even this evening when I pick up, I can only have a total of 20 from the 30 I'm supposed to have.

The person(s) filling my son's medications 'accidentally' placed the ones I was missing in the WRONG pick-up bin as well. I found this out yesterday evening when I noticed the 'mistake' and called them about it.

I'm glad that what he takes are not drugs he needs to live (like Insulin or Anti-Rejection meds)..He missed a dose last night. If he was on the latter that I mentioned, that COULD POTENTIALLY kill or seriously injure someone because they were not able to have access to their medication!

The employees also need to only have ONE person filling for ONE client when there are multiple scrips for that one person. I mainly blame THAT as the reason for this whole entire debacle even taking place.

Yes, they are human. Yes, people make mistakes. But when you work in ANY area of the health care system, being it as a CNA, a Medical Doctor, or a Pharmacist, there really isn't much, or even any period, room for error. Especially when it comes to the health, well-being and overall LIVES that you are taking care of.

I've learned a VALUABLE lesson, especially after today. BEFORE you even pull out of the parking lot, pull the medications OUT of the bag(s), read them and make sure you have all the pills accounted for on the label(s) and ensure that you have ALL of your medicines you were to have filled that day in your hands.

Got a small beef with blog followers (from ANY blog).

Just out of curiosity...

Do you 'drop' a blogger from your list of reading ventures due to their not writing a post basically on a daily basis?

Do you, if you blog, write on your blog page(s) on a daily basis, a few times or once a week? Or do you blog when the mood to moves you?

I'm wondering if a (now former) follower dropped me being that it was almost a week or so between posting blog posts. I don't really care that they did so. But it popped in my head that I must not be writing enough to suit their reading taste.

Well, lets take a really good look at my blog and break it down, shall we?

Look at the name of my blog... 'The (Not Always) Happy Homemaker Diary'. Operative word here? HOMEMAKER. Which means that I am a STAY-AT-HOME wife and mother.

I have one husband and I have THREE kids. And those children (through this weekend) are on SUMMER VACATION from school. Which means three kids that need to have MY attention as needed BEFORE anything else.

Plus if you notice, I have written many times in the past about my son, who is a SPECIAL NEEDS child that requires more attention and time consumption than most 'average' kids.

Plus, I have to take care of the home, hence the HOMEMAKER part of my blog name. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning out cat boxes (being we have three of them) and any other jobs that need to be done around here.

Now, if you have read the blog entry from YESTERDAY, you will also know that I am gearing up to once again volunteer at my kids' school (hopefully) three days a week, if not more. I'm quite possibly being 'promoted' to Co-Volunteer Coordinator. Which means quite possibly more time at the school, as well as 'working' from home.

Plus I will be on not just one, but two Parent Advisory Boards for not only the school, but for my school's district.

So, when you add all of this together, it makes for MUCH less time typing up blog entries. And if you are looking for daily, or semi-daily bloggers, then I am NOT your girl. Especially with school starting.

Also, I have a secondary blog called ParanorMel that delves in to the realm of the Paranormal. Primarily with ghosts/spirits and hauntings. Even that blog gets posted to, maybe, I'd say once a week to every two weeks. It all depends on if I had a personal experience happen, if there is a topic in my head that I wish to cover, or if I found a video and/or article that I found interesting enough to share.

But also, I do NOT see my followers dropping me there. And they know I WILL post. Just not more than MAYBE twice a week. Or for as long as every two weeks.

With that said, I hope that you will stick with me and watch for new posts in the future. At this point in time, you might never know when I will write about my adventures in life, marriage and raising my kids.

Just know that I WILL BE around. Just not as often. I find it sad that some people base their reading on the fact of how often a person posts entries. It should be based on QUALITY of the work. Not on QUANTITY in the numbers of posting.

WIMTS (What I Meant To Say) Wednesday with Angel..Hearing Aide, Anyone?

Have you had to vigorously bite your tongue this past week (Thursday-Tuesday)? Did you say what you HAD to say, but didn't say what you WANTED to say to someone? Then, here's your chance!

Just click on the linky-button below, and grab a button from Angel, and start posting what YOU *meant* to say, but didn't, thanks to the little thing called 'socially acceptable behavior and language'.



BUT! Before you run off to spout off to the boss, the spouse, the kids, and the ex's dog, see what I have to say first. Especially if this is your first time.


The other day, I had called University of Virginia (UVA) Medical Center's Dermatology Partners, where Skyler is scheduled to be seen on September First for her Molluscum Contagiosum (her severe wart problem), seeing as last week, I had to take her to the ER for a (still) suspicious rash she developed that was purple and almost black, with red dots.

The lady that handles scheduling picked up and asked what my needs were. From there, it just really went down hill. I said..

Hello, my name is Melissa Cowart. My daughter Skyler is to be seen on the first of September, but due to a "non-specific rash" she developed and was taken to the ERD for, I'd like to get her in sooner.

Well, the lady wanted her name and date of birth. Let's just say I didn't get to the date of birth part for a good while. Why? Because...

For one thing, whomever placed her in the system there, initially (and I *highly* suspect it is this woman I was speaking to) had spelled the girl's name wrong! My doctor made the referral appointment, not us. But when they entered her name, they used an 'a', not an 'e' in Skyl'e'r.

It got worse from there...I was asked to spell the last name (again). So I said, C-o-w-a-r-t. Not the hard, right? WRONG!

Lady said what? I said Cowar(t..as in Tom)...Lady said say it again.

By now I thought to myself this chick was effin deaf or just not paying attention. Maybe she was playing World Of Warcraft on the 'puter.

Finally, I broke it down and sad it like this... C..o...w (as in a DAIRY COW!)..a...r...t (as in a work of ART!).

Finally we got it all straight, then I was told after all the trouble, that I COULD NOT CHANGE IT!

I so very meant to say (after saying thanks and you WILL be hearing from the ped.'s office TODAY)...

WTF! I spent the last ten minutes spelling my last damn name because you have severe wax build up apparently. So for my trouble, you CANNOT change it to an earlier date. Especially being my kid developed something I DO NOT KNOW HOW SHE GOT IT??

You people are an effin joke. And as for you, missy! Lay off the damned WoW game while you are working, get the effin wax out of your ears, and go back to Comprehension and Typing School.

Did you get your Office Degree from a damned Cracker Jacks box? Or maybe from your Trix Cereal. Because whatever school you had to have gone to should NEVER have let you pass your courses.

...So, now I am on day two of waiting to hear from Skyler's regular doctor's office, as to if the UVA office will take her earlier. Even the Office Manager and the nurse got nowhere with these people.

Apparently, it's got to be a doc-to-doc convo. Nice! I *hate* dealing with Specialty Practice Doctors. Their heads are so swelled, and stuck so far up their ass, that it comes back up through their necks.

Post It Note Tuesday's With Supah... The disgruntled Edition.

Come play with us in the sandbox! I promise, we won't shove sand down your pants and give you a wedgie. Go HERE to make your stickies.

This week, I have a couple of things to get off of my chest. Yeah, I know, my chest ain't all THAT big. Hell, I have a real 'combo pack' going on. But we aren't here to talk boobs, are we?

Anywho, my two main pet-peeves this week is kids on Summer Vacation and Retail Shoppers. They both drive me insane. Only difference is in the environment and the situation. The kids are mine, so nothing much I can do there. But I used to work in Grocery Retail. My husband still does. Let's just say, it's not a job for the faint of heart, shall we?