I'm "Pouring Out My Heart" as I am "Cleaning Out My Closet".

I decided to "double dip" today, which is really a rare thing. Today, this post will serve as both a participant in Shell's



..and For The Love Of Blog's (Vic's)



As most of my readers know, I required a Corneal Transplant back in October of 2009. I had a bad infection invade the eye its self, then it also eroded the cornea. But I perforated the entire cornea when I accidentally poked myself in the eye.

While I have fairly good eyesight (colors, some shape, light) I still have problems. One being a cataract that will eventually need removal. I still have eight of sixteen stithces left to go.

I have my good days. But lately, I have had a rough go. I don't often complain on here or on Facebook or Twitter. I don't want to sound like a "whiner".

And most people, if they don't understand that a transplant is NOT a "cure all" think that the recipient must be ALWAYS happy and feel "lucky".

In all honesty, lately I've had some trouble where infection is TRYING to attack again. Not bad, but in an annoying way. I am working on getting it calmed as we speak.Add in sinus trouble also making my eye a bit unnerved and it's an all out "party"

Sometimes, I wish that they did take the eye. Then I'd have no more drops, no more stitches needing to removed. No cataract to be taken out. No mounting doctor bills for "after care" that constantly come at me. And no chance of needing a SECOND transplant later on down the road.

Is it selfish and ungrateful of me to think and feel this way? Maybe. But I also feel that my children have been through enough with their mother having one set back after another with her eye in one way or another.

Yes, I am so very thankful to my donor and their family. Without their gift, I would have no sight at all. But also my children and I are paying a price. As is my husband. Not just monetarily.

Organ and tissue transplants are not the cure all to the problem with that organ or tissue. In fact, you go from having one set of problems, to a new kind of set. Mainly dealing with the chance of rejection. It CAN happne a day later or many years down the road. And we live in the thought of "is this the day that it all goes downhill and we have to start over again?". It's not a life I wish on anyone. Even for "just an eye".

I'm angry. At my skin condition that invaded my eye. I'm angry at myself for not getting that under control sooner. I'm angry that my body turned against me. I'm angry that another family had to suffer a loss. I'm angry that it took someone to die for me to be able to see with both of my eyes.

While I may smile and "look" or even "sound" happy on the outside, inside, especially right now, I'm screaming and seething. Because right now, I feel that I have lost a battle (again) that I have fought hard to win and overcome for the last year and a half.

Friend In Need Of Support...And A Gripe On Behalf Of Hubby

First of all, a dear friend of mine that I have known since the CafeMom days (like 3 YEARS now!) is in need of some mondo support, prayers and good thoughts/vibes.

Her name is Angel and she also blogs. Feel free to check her out over at Angel Believes.

This morning, I had read a post that she made last night. It is speaking about one of her sisters. Apparently, doctors had found a suspicious mass within her head, that has been causing severe migraines. Now, the sister must undergo a battery of tests to see if it has entered the brain cavity and if it's the dreaded "C-word",from there, then do what is needed.

So, I am asking you all to PLEASE go over and give her some words of encouragement and support.

Now (!!*WARNING*!! Strong Language Ahead!)...

Over on FaceBook, I am a 'fan' of Kroger. For one thing, I am a *former* employee. Two, my husband is still an employee. Three, thanks to his hard work and dedication, we get a discount on ALL Kroger products along with the current sale price. Four, I just love shopping there.

Lately, I have seen some real Scrooges over on the Wall and within the Kroger page's Discussion Board. Some "now former" and disgruntled "current" shoppers of the retail chain have been real assholes. No lie!

I'm tired of seeing one post over there after another blaming Management and the employees for every single damn thing that goes wrong. Including product weight changes, Gift Card Policy, other Return Policy rules and even store remodeling.

Come on, people!!! THINK before you start jabbering your jaws (more like fingers if on the computer) and bitching about things in the WRONG manner. Honestly it will get you NOWHERE with Management or Sale Floor/Department employees. It just makes you look like a jackass.

When it comes to what is sent, versus what is left out, that is NOT Management or employee fault...That is WAREHOUSE idiots. And when it is NATIONAL Brand, please, do NOT complain and bitch out the STORE employees. That has to be taken up with the National Product Vendor for THAT item!

Remodels...NOT IN EMPLOYEE/MANAGEMENT control, either. That is CORPORATE level.

Return/GIFT CARD Policy...Corporate's rules. NOT store-level things.

Also, I can personally tell you, as a *former* employee of Kroger and of other retail chains in my years, if you bitch, nag, gripe, cuss out and yell at the employees or Management Team, you will get NOWHERE. They will tell you that they will contact Corporate and whatever else needed to as to shut you the hell up.

Why? Because you were RUDE. And we are HUMAN just like those that come in the store. And like YOU, us "lackeys" have feelings and they CAN and often DO get hurt because some asswipe decided that acting like a spoiled little brat would get them what they want.

WRONG!

When you as a customer talk calmly, civilly and in an adult-like manner, we (employees and Management alike) are MORE than willing to listen, be attentive, and are more able to HELP resolve your issue.

Even with Product Vendors. We can RELAY messages or even CALL THEM personally right then and there to see what can be done with the problem at hand.

It's all in how the CUSTOMER chooses to interact with the store's employees.

In a nutshell, the moral of the story is...

Retail employees and their Management Team have NO control with what CORPORATE level says (that includes Zone Managers). And they EXPECT to be treated with RESPECT and with KINDNESS. Just like you, the CUSTOMER expects to be treated.

After all, my husband is a hard working family man in retail who is only like everyone else in this country, trying to provide for his family, has feelings and is a hard worker who is only doing what he is told to do.

The End.

Handicap Parking & The "Not So" Disabled

I know a while back somewhere along the line, I had touched on this subject. But seeing as I hate "recycling" posts and honestly, I really don't wish to go through my previous 192 posts to find the sucker, I shall write about Handicap Parking Spaces...again.

Thanks to someone I follow on Twitter, who shall remain nameless (and genderless) as to protect their identity, the subject has once more come to me, especially with Christmas shopping in full swing and the fact that some shoppers can be real humbugs about parking lots and parking spaces.

My Mother and Father-In-Law both have poor health. Primarily my Mother-In-Law. She has Systemic Lupus. Systemic Lupus affects all the main organs (including lungs and heart), as well as muscles throughout the body. She literally is drained even after a short shopping trip for groceries. It doesn't take much for her to tire out or to bruise, or get sore throughout her body.

When she goes to public places, she parks in Handicap stalls. She looks fine. She walks fine. She sees and hears just fine. She walks (for the most part) fine. But indeed, she IS legally disabled.

No one can see (unless you REALLY know her, or of her condition) her internal handicap. Her illness that is tucked within her own body.

So, when she climbs out of her van and starts walking "normally" in to the store, I have been witness to a few stares and sneers. People in general think that she is just being lazy.

Yes, she is heavy set (not fat), but that is NOT due to being "lazy" or over eating, seeing as she has to watch her intake, due to her Colostomy Bag (that she craps in to, having only two INCHES of her colon, thanks to cancer). The Lupus plays with your weight as well.

And it can mess up her breathing. After a while, you can hear her breaths get heavier, as she tires. Hence why her trips to the store are as minimal as she can make them.

When I was little (as in a toddler), I was allowed to be on "Day Trips" from the hospital (for new readers, I didn't go home until I was almost 3 YEARS old, due to many medical problems at birth). My parents had a Handicap Sticker to use when I was with them, seeing as I had to have my medical equipment close by in the car in case I had a breathing situation (a suctioning machine for my trache).

An elderly lady called the police on my parents (I know I spoke of this last time lol) because she didn't see where any of us were handicapped and "required" a spot for those that were REALLY handicapped.

Needless to say, my parents were caught off guard when a Police Officer side stepped them inside the store and let them know what was transpiring. After hearing this, my mother took me (in the cart) and walked off to "cool down" after eying the lady that made the report.

My poor dad. He had to take the officer outside and SHOW HIM the equipment, sitting there on the floorboard of the back seat area of the car. The Police Officer thanked him and apologized for the intrusion and the trouble (as well as the embarrassment) that the situation caused.

After going back inside, the officer pulled the lady aside and let her have it for being a nosy old bag. He even took HER to see that INDEED I was LEGALLY afforded that spot and why. Also, she got a better look at ME, sitting in the cart and started to cry (by my understanding of what my dad said), all the while apologizing to my parents.

My mother walked off without accepting the apology, due to the humiliation and the rudeness of the woman in the first place. Plus, it kept Mom from wanting to punch the old woman (by what was told).

So, the next time you see someone parking in a designated Handicap spot, don't be so quick to judge by their outward appearance. You don't know their full medical history and what may be going on internally.

Believe me when I say that there are days when I really wish I had a sticker/plate due to my son and his "outbursts" (due to his mental disorders that LEGALLY make him 'disabled' by our state) that he has. I'd be able to get him out of where we are and out to the car MUCH quicker when an episode hits. Most of the time, we are parked most of the way towards the end of the lot area. Just my luck I guess.

Energy... I "had" it.

Sometimes, I will sit on our living room side porch outside. As I do, I will see the kids playing, running around and chasing one another.

And this is after a full day at school learning from their books, learning social skills and playing outside on the playground.

My children are normally on a school day up no later than 7:30 in the morning. They are on the go all day long at school. Then, they have to come home and change, do their homework and sometimes also do a couple of chores.

Still though, even after all of that, they manage to find the time and the energy to be active and energetic. And knowing them as well as I do, if one is slacking and not moving or talking much, then they have got to be sick with something.

This past week, since about Monday, it's been go here and there, do this and that for me. With barely any time for myself to sit and rest. In fact TODAY is my only real day "off" and not do a single thing. For the most part.

I've been readying for my oldest's upcoming birthday party (she turned 11 TODAY, but the party is Sunday), had gone on a trip with her class Tuesday, helped with a Staff Breakfast at school yesterday and then stayed for most of the day to help in the K class and with my weekly Art classes, being that I will be out of town with my son and his class tomorrow on another field trip.

Add in the get together for early Thanksgiving dinner with my FIL's side of the family and the party on Sunday, there's just no stopping or slowing down.

But it all caught up to me yesterday evening. I was so dead tired, that when I went to "snuggle" with my (soon to be) six year old (who's party will be the following Sunday) in bed, I fell asleep and was snoozing as soon as my head hit her pillow.

Now, I did get up about an hour later, thanks to her snoring. I moved in to MY bed downstairs and drifted right back off to sleep. And apparently, my husband let our other two children sleep on the Family Room couch downstairs. What a surprise to wake up to.

But it's safe to say that one, I went to be extremely early (which is highly unusual, and being it was 8:30). And two, I slept a good oh, ten hours almost straight. Neither of which I think I have honestly done in YEARS like that.

The more that I think of it, I have a feeling that in (less than) a week's time, I have given the Energizer Bunny a run for his moola. Although, I certainly now know, thanks to my body telling me so, I am not as young as I used to be and that age TRULY IS catching up to me. As is the arthritis and tendinitis in my knees.

Dear Lord! I *am* turning in to my father. (cries)

WIMTS (What I Meant To Say) Wednesday with Angel..Hearing Aide, Anyone?

Have you had to vigorously bite your tongue this past week (Thursday-Tuesday)? Did you say what you HAD to say, but didn't say what you WANTED to say to someone? Then, here's your chance!

Just click on the linky-button below, and grab a button from Angel, and start posting what YOU *meant* to say, but didn't, thanks to the little thing called 'socially acceptable behavior and language'.



BUT! Before you run off to spout off to the boss, the spouse, the kids, and the ex's dog, see what I have to say first. Especially if this is your first time.


The other day, I had called University of Virginia (UVA) Medical Center's Dermatology Partners, where Skyler is scheduled to be seen on September First for her Molluscum Contagiosum (her severe wart problem), seeing as last week, I had to take her to the ER for a (still) suspicious rash she developed that was purple and almost black, with red dots.

The lady that handles scheduling picked up and asked what my needs were. From there, it just really went down hill. I said..

Hello, my name is Melissa Cowart. My daughter Skyler is to be seen on the first of September, but due to a "non-specific rash" she developed and was taken to the ERD for, I'd like to get her in sooner.

Well, the lady wanted her name and date of birth. Let's just say I didn't get to the date of birth part for a good while. Why? Because...

For one thing, whomever placed her in the system there, initially (and I *highly* suspect it is this woman I was speaking to) had spelled the girl's name wrong! My doctor made the referral appointment, not us. But when they entered her name, they used an 'a', not an 'e' in Skyl'e'r.

It got worse from there...I was asked to spell the last name (again). So I said, C-o-w-a-r-t. Not the hard, right? WRONG!

Lady said what? I said Cowar(t..as in Tom)...Lady said say it again.

By now I thought to myself this chick was effin deaf or just not paying attention. Maybe she was playing World Of Warcraft on the 'puter.

Finally, I broke it down and sad it like this... C..o...w (as in a DAIRY COW!)..a...r...t (as in a work of ART!).

Finally we got it all straight, then I was told after all the trouble, that I COULD NOT CHANGE IT!

I so very meant to say (after saying thanks and you WILL be hearing from the ped.'s office TODAY)...

WTF! I spent the last ten minutes spelling my last damn name because you have severe wax build up apparently. So for my trouble, you CANNOT change it to an earlier date. Especially being my kid developed something I DO NOT KNOW HOW SHE GOT IT??

You people are an effin joke. And as for you, missy! Lay off the damned WoW game while you are working, get the effin wax out of your ears, and go back to Comprehension and Typing School.

Did you get your Office Degree from a damned Cracker Jacks box? Or maybe from your Trix Cereal. Because whatever school you had to have gone to should NEVER have let you pass your courses.

...So, now I am on day two of waiting to hear from Skyler's regular doctor's office, as to if the UVA office will take her earlier. Even the Office Manager and the nurse got nowhere with these people.

Apparently, it's got to be a doc-to-doc convo. Nice! I *hate* dealing with Specialty Practice Doctors. Their heads are so swelled, and stuck so far up their ass, that it comes back up through their necks.

Are you on FaceBook? Come see me here!

I've got many interests. It seems like at least one for every letter of the alphabet. *I wonder now how many of you started reciting your ABC's and put an interest with each letter...hehe.*

I now run two groups that I had started. And I own a couple of Fan/Like Pages for both this blog, and my ParanorMel blog, as well.

If you are a member of FaceBook, feel free to check out the following places that I hang out in when I'm not playing Cafe World (for Skyler!), posting videos to my wall, or looking in on my peeps.

The first one up is a place for the ladies ONLY! Sorry guys, you are barred from this room. And if we catch you, you get thrown out like a drunk in speedos at the nightclub.

The Ladies Room is a place for the ladies (married, divorced, single..we take them all!) to just chat, share recipes, vent, get or give advice and talk about much more...Relationships, raising kids, marriage, home-based topics. Even gab about current events, top news topics, celebrities, and entertainment.

This is a group for WOMEN only!! And all members MUST be 18 years of age, or older to be a part of the group. No exceptions! If you are found out to be a minor, or a male member, you WILL be removed, as well as BANNED from The Ladies Room. << Told ya we were harsh!

I Support Parents With SILENTLY Disabled Children is a group for Mothers, Fathers, Foster Parents or Legal Guardians of a child that is disabled by "SILENT" disabilities, such as any Mental Disorder/Illness/Disability, a physical handicap that isn't necessarily "visible" on the outside (like Lupus) or another type of "silent" disability... Get support, advice and be able to vent in a SAFE HAVEN where other caregivers/parents as yourself will "get you".

Parents/families with Non-Disabled children who may also like to learn more about Silent Disabilities, and/or wish to GIVE SUPPORT/ADVOCATE for children with SILENT disabilities and their parents, may join as well!

As for the Fan Pages, first up is The (Not Always) Happy Homemaker Diary page. Inside, you can get links to the most current, as well as past blog posts for the blog. It's an interactive area where you can post discussions, talk about the posts and much more.

And last, but most certainly not least, is the Fan Page over at FaceBook for my secondary blog, ParanorMel. Where, again, you can find the latest, as well as past blog post links. You can talk about YOUR experiences with the paranormal, post pictures, open topics on the Discussions tab and do so much more.

That seems to be all for this "plug post", today. I hope to see you come over and stop by. Join in the fun at one of, or better yet, all of these great, fun, supportive, and interactive places! 

Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday w/Shell

I'm angry. I'm scared. I'm confused. And I keep asking that golden question, "why?!".

Yesterday, I had to take Hayley to the doctor. Usually, she is the healthiest of the three kids. For her, it's just basic check-ups and any shots needed. End of story.

Not anymore. I took her in for two reasons. One being her left ear hurt really bad. Come to find out, she had a severe blockage of wax deeply near the ear drum.

But, that was the least of my problems. And her's.

The other night I fixed tacos the way I normally do. Within just hours, Hayley came to my room between 12:30 and 1:00 AM, scratching herself to the point of trying to almost tear her skin off, as she cried.

When I turned on the light (main light in the room), what I saw scared me almost to death. She was red and hived from head to toe. Her lips, jaws, and throat were AT LEAST double their size. And her breathing was a bit off/erratic.

In a blind haze, Scott gave her Tylenol. So I got the Benadryl pills and popped one down her. Within thirty minutes she was doing better and she fell back to sleep in my bed.

After going to the doctor, we found out that she had her first Anaphylaxis episode. Her sensitivity to Soy (which she has had all her life) usually is to a point where she is (like) a Lactose Intolerant person. She can have small, minute amounts, and it won't hurt her.

Not anymore! That was the culprit. And she has now developed a hyper-sensitivity to it. As well as already being hyper-sensitive to shrimp (steamed and uncooked), Red Dye 40 (in red Popsicles only), mushrooms, Blue Cheese Dressing (and other fungi-based foods). As well as an allergy to Amoxicilline.

From now on, Hayley must carry an Epinephrine Pen (Eppy Pen) with her at all times. No matter where she goes. Including to her dad's house. And also we will all have to read ingredient labels more carefully, maybe sub a food out here and there for her to have if she can't have a certain food at a mealtime. And I will also have to ask places we go to eat at how they cook their food, how they serve it up (using separate utensils for each item, no cross-contaminating). And I will need to get allergy friendly recipes for all of us to have (as to not single her out as much as possible).

Why am I angry? Because it seems like no matter how I get ahead and my kids do well, life has to throw another monkey wrench in to the fire. I need a break, as do Hayley and Bryce who are now BOTH considered "Special Needs Kids". I'm tired and I'm tired of seeing my children go through all this crap. And there isn't a whole lot I can do for them.

Why am I scared? Because now, her allergies have gotten to a point, that they can POTENTIALLY KILL my child. I saw that with my own eyes the other night. And it scares me. I don't want to live without my kids. I'd be lost without a single one of them. And I am scared that her (bio) dad won't get his head out his ass and get educated, or will do what is needed if the need arises...That is injecting the shot in her leg (due to his fear of needles and shots).

Why am I confused? Because I know of NO ONE else in the family from either her father's side, or mine that have allergic reactions this bad, or to this many things. So I cannot pinpoint how or why she has these allergies, or the severity of reactions she suffers. We only share a couple of allergies. Bee stings (from any stinging bug) and the medicine.

As for the "why"...I just want to know WHY. Why my kids. What did any of them do to deserve the medical hardships all of them are dealing with. Skyler has that wart/immune system problem. Bryce has his Mental Disorder issues. Now, Hayley has her allergy issues. Why them? What for? Is someone above getting their jollies off on seeing my kids suffer, and I suffer along with them.

In a nutshell, a lot of changes are coming. And it's going to take time to figure it all out. I'm going to need help on this one. I've been thrown in to the lion's den and I'm sinking in the water without a paddle.

I'm doing a Plog...About my son. (=

As some of you know, my poor little guy, Bryce has broken his arm. In the two main areas of the arm at that!

He decided to STAND on his little sister's RIDING toy and use it like a scooter. His uncle was downstairs with him when this happened.

Apparently, the toy went backwards, slipping from under Bryce. Needless to say, Bryce "flew" the opposite direction and landed primarily on his right hand (and his "strong" arm). The force of the fall and landing severely broke both the Ulna and Radius bones that are in the forearm. They are the two that connect at both ends of the lower arm and have a spacing between them in the middle (think of a Wishbone).

This was taken the night of the accident, after we got him home and resting a comfy as we could...

Little Sister, Skyler was making sure that her big "Bro-Bro" was okay and keeping him company.


Yesterday, it was "cast changing day". We spent THREE HOURS in that office, mainly waiting to go back. He got new x-ray's taken. Needless to say, there is a SMALL setback. The one that was broken the worse (I want to say the Radius), which was a hair-pin from requiring surgery that night, has dislodged out of place.

When the accident initially happened, Bryce had to have BOTH bones reset. He got NOTHING to help with the pain. But he took it like a trooper! And again, as the doctor had to mold the new cast to the arm, he reset that bone (without Bryce knowing). My boy let out a small whimper. But otherwise did a WONDERFUL job.

Here are some pictures of Bryce getting his old cast removed....

 

 

Bryce has some sensory issues, and the loudness of the cast saw was kind of unbearable for him. I learned the hard way I need to clean the wax out of his ears...It was GROSS when I stuck my finger in the ear he can't reach. EEEEEW!

 

One last little "snip" with the cast saw and she was able to "crack it open" and free Bryce's arm.

Here is his new cast, that now fits to a T and he is happy as a clam....

Bryce had chosen "Duke University Blue" because he knows that the hospital there, Duke Univ. Medical Center was the place that saved his mom's eye, as well as her sight. Plus, it really helped that his Orthopeadist is an avide Blue Devils fan!

Arm, eye and stomach...What a combination to deal with.

Germ invasion, broken arm and a failing eye. That is what I have been dealing with since last week. Let's just say it's kind of looking up.

The bright side? Bryce's arm and hand/finger swelling is going down and he is doing well in the cast.

Otherwise, there isn't much of a bright side. Other than the fact that the constant drops in the eye are helping to reverse possible irreversable damage to my Cornea.

After sitting in the Cornea Specialist's chair, he looked in to my eye and looked at results from a new test I had done last Friday. Then asked how long my eye has been red.

Come to find out...My Cornea is in the EARLY stages of Rejection. Not even in my fourth month yet and BOOM! Now I'm on my Pred Forte Drops several times a day. At least for the next three weeks.

Then, Friday night, Skyler got us up at around eleven from a nice slumber, only to let Scott and I know as she cried that she "puked" all over my living room carpet and couch. Let's just say, it is going to still require the Rug Shampooer to get the stains up.

Top it all off with last night, around midnight, Bryce got up and barely made it to the toilet and threw up. He also had some on the doorway area of his carpet. But otherwise, he did it full throttle all over the seat, inside, and the side of the potty.

At this point with my immune system already attacking my eye and having a lowered "defense", I can't afford to get sick. That would make my already failing eye a complete failure most likely. My body is already attacking the Cornea. To get sick leaves a wide-open shot like a dear being hunted in the clearing of the forest. It's sure to be killed.

One day soon, I will be able to hopefully put all of my worries behind me with my eye. But now that is is in rejection, my chances go up for it to happen again if I can save THIS Cornea.

Well, that's life. I have YET to be able to get Bryce's Vyvanse. Still working on fighting insurance and waiting to see if the Pre-Authorization went through. Plus, Bryce has an appointment Friday for his broken arm. Needless to say, Dr. Asshat who doesn't call back never let him get an earlier appointment so he won't miss TWO WEEKS of school. So, it looks like Monday of NEXT week is when he can go back. Bryce NEEDS TO BE IN SCHOOL! Not stuck at home...for a broken arm. Good lord!

This guy makes me wonder if he is a quack. Who the hell keeps a kid home for two weeks? Put Bryce in a sling, make sure he gets assistance from the other kids and the teacher to help write and carry heavy things and take extra precautions (like no P.E. or recess on the school yard).

Them's the breaks, kid!!

With three kids, I knew it was bound to happen eventually. As in, their teens as they tried some stupid stunt with a skateboard or in-line skates. Or from playing sports and landing the wrong way on the field (or someone landing on them).

Nope, it didn't happen that way. Oh believe me, it was still a stupid stunt. But not from doing something "cool" like skating or playing sports.

Bryce (the eight-year-old) decided to try and ride Skyler's (the five-year-old) mini tractor trike. By putting one leg on it and using the other to push it like a scooter.

Needless to say, the trike went out from under him and tipped. Bryce went the other way face first. He caught himself on his RIGHT hand (mainly). The force of landing on that one arm broke both his Ulna and his Radius bones in his fore-arm.

It was so bad, it bowed the top of his arm in (in a down position, like a smile). The doctor had to reset BOTH bones. And Bryce took it like a brave trooper. No pain meds, no numbing medicine...and no "knock out juice". After setting the first bone and hearing it "POP!", I had to turn my head as they got ready to set the other bone.

Today he is home from school, due to the pain getting to him this morning. And Hayley (the ten-year-old) will bring home his homework for him. But, he broke his writing hand...the RIGHT arm. So he will be learning how to be a "lefty" for a while.

Bryce is learning a six-week lesson. To not stand on riding toy and use it as a scooter or skateboard. Because you might end up in a full-arm cast and be VERY close to requiring surgery.

Mama Bear's claws are sharpened & drawn....My letter to State Officials in Virginia

Feb. 5, 2010

Dear Gov. McDonnel, Del. Garret, Rep. Goodlatte, Sen. Webb, Sen. Warner,

I am writing to you as to bring forth to your attention a great error in judgment, let alone compassion for the Common Wealth of Virginia's people.

My name is Melissa Cowart and I am a married, thirty-three year old mother who lives in Lynchburg, Virginia. Lynchburg happens to have the "subtitle" of being the "Heart of Virginia".

My top priority is being a mother, who happens to stay at home, to my three wonderful children. Their ages are ten, eight, and five years old. I have two girls, and a boy who is in the middle.

I'm sure that most, if not all of the gentlemen in this letter that I am addressing are fathers, if not even grandfathers to small children. Or you were at least at some point in your lives. So, you know through experience of the hardships that raising children can parenting 9or grand-parenting) can bring.

But do any one of you TRULY know the hardships of raising a child with "Silent Disabilities". Disabilities that require not only mental or behavioral therapies, but drug therapies as well? I do.

My son, the eight year old has is "Silently Disabled". You cannot tell just by looking or glancing at him that he is legally disabled. That is until he is a Manic fit, his attention wanes to nearly nothing, his focusing and social skills are being impacted, or he has such a violent rage (both emotionally, as well as physically) that you end up on the floor yourself crying along with him.

Because of these problems, not only does my son require behavior and psychological therapy. He also requires medication therapy. Currently, he is on two forms of medication treatment.

One being Seroquel. It is for his Manic Depression, Mood Disorder management, and to help him sleep at night. Or else, he is up ALL night long.

The other is Vyvanse. It is to help him with his ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). And this is the drug he needs to help him focus, pay attention, be able to sit still and quietly (as possible). And it helps his hyperactivity lessen as to carry on more normal and healthy social relationships with his peers.

Sadly, as I sat in my son's Psychiatric appointment on 2/4/2010, I was informed that the branch of Medicaid my son receives, CareNet is unwilling to provide coverage to fill prescriptions for the drug, Vyvanse.

So, when it comes time to fill his prescription for this particular medication (which is nearing very soon), his claim for filing with CareNet will be denied. In turn, I will not be able to get my son's Vyvanse. I CANNOT afford to pay out-of-pocket, (approximately) $250-300.00 for a 30-day supply.

Then, I will have to ask the pharmacy to send in a request for Pre-Authorization to my son's prescribing doctor to "beg" CareNet to let my child have his medication. If that course of action fails, then the doctor will have to call the insurance carrier and do a "round-about" in the hopes of letting my son get his medicine in that fashion.

Do any of you gentlemen have children that are in need of daily medication? Do any of you have (or had at one time) a child like my son? Do you know what it's like to care for a child such as my son?

If you did, then I am very sure that you would never let drug companies and insurance companies (State or Private) bounce "kick-backs" off of one another. Nor would you let the Insurance Company deny YOUR child the medication and/or care that they require to function in a more "normal capacity" that fits within the guidelines of how society as a whole views one another.

I'm not a College-educated individual. I did not graduate High School in the "old fashioned way". I received a GED in my early 20's. But by golly, I am smart enough to know when the government is trying to pocket money, give less to take more and in the end hurt those that they serve.

My son, and countless other children, as well as us parents deserve BETTER treatment. By the medical industry, the pharmaceutical industry, and most of all, by our Government. Our children deserve better.

Our children deserve to have ALL of their needs met. Medical and otherwise. Including their drug therapy.

Make CareNet place Vyvanse back on their coverage so that children such as my son can get the best out of his education, his social skills and his overall general life.

No child deserves to be "left behind".

Sincerely,
Melissa A. Cowart  (Lynchburg, Virginia)

It finally CLICKED with him!!!!

The difference is defiantly there. I have seen it every morning and most of every afternoon this week. At first, the change was subtle. But now, I can see the big impact.

His change in attitude, compliance, task maintaining and overall general behavior has taken a polarizing shift. And for the BETTER!

Bryce has really "grown" in the last six days. Since about Friday or Saturday. We noticed lately that he is starting to be more responsible with his personal property. Although OTHERS' property, we are still working on with him. But he is now actually asking to use something (like Hayley's DS game) than just swiping it.

Also, he is keeping up better with maintaining his room. Of course he is a boy. He will have "messes". But as of late, he is trying harder to put the items in their proper places, make his bed and have his room mostly clean.

Also, since Monday morning, he has been eating his cereal, dressing, and redying his backpack in a sufficient and timely manner. I have barely needed to "crawl up his butt" to get him motivated and moving to ready for the school day. Even waking up is no longer a chore. He gets up BEFORE me (by a few minutes) and is ready to start the day with his breakfast.

The only real problem I have with Bryce now is that he expects me to get him his cereal right as HE is up and ready. He will even at times come in my room, literally in tears and claim he is "starving" and wants his cereal  NOW because he is ready to eat.

Hey now, with all of the GOOD changes, you can't expect me to not still have a little excitement....

For Bryce having so many things wrong with him mentally, this is a HUUUUUUGE step for him, for me, and for our family as a whole. I will take whatever I can get that is POSITIVE in his care.

"Retard!"

As of just a little while ago, I became a member of a FaceBook group that advocates for children and adults with mental and physical handicaps. The group centers their advocacy around educating the public about using the term "retard" when referring to severely handicapped persons.

Here is the link for the group. Check it out if you are interested. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5039649875 (Please Don't Say "Retard")

My son, as some of my readers know, is deemed by our state as being handicapped. He has several mental disorders that affect his ability to have a "normal" life that his peers have. He struggles daily in some form or fashion with his symptoms, which are many to count.

At one time, I myself was legally deemed handicapped. I even had a special parking sticker for my parent's car. I required a tracheotomy from birth, until I was almost a teenager. And I also had required carrying around specialized equipment in the car where ever we went, in case I needed assistance with clearing my lungs.

There were countless times through those years that men, women and children alike would gawk and stare at me. They would point and snicker. There would be whispers here and there as well. And there was also the occasional "If that were MY kid, I wouldn't take IT out in public. Not when they are RETARDED like that".

Sometimes, it was loud enough that my parents could hear it plain as day. Those people WANTED THEM TO hear what they said.

Other times, people would say it low enough, thinking that they aren't being heard. All the while, my parents could hear them. Believe me. And those people knew it by the way my parents would cut their eyes and walk away. With their heads held high of course.

Words DO cut. They do HURT others. Especially when the words are used in an inappropriate, meaningfully hurtful, non-medical terms. Especially the word 'retard' or 'retarded'.

Here is the definition for "retarded"...

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/retard

re⋅tard

 /rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4] Show IPA

Use retard in a Sentence

See images of retard

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–verb (used with object)

1.	to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.

–verb (used without object)

2.	to be delayed.

–noun

3.	a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.

4.	Slang: Disparaging. a. a mentally retarded person. b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.

5.	Automotive, Machinery. an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.

My son is no different from your kid (THANKS ANGEL FOR THE INSPIRATION)

When you see my son, what do you see? Do you see the happiness he can have most of the time? Do you see that he can be sly at any given moment? Do you see how much he loves his family?

Can you see that my son is Bipolar, with OCD, ADHD, Asperger's Tendensies, Anxiety Disorder and Behavior Disorder?

When our children with these 'problems' have an 'off" day of lashing out and being 'abnormal', it is OUR normal. We have gotten used to the stares and whispers out in the public eye. Especially when an episode from the Mania he experiences just suddenly pops up during a shopping trip or other outting.

Sure all is fine and good with the world around us....Until it happens. Bryce's eyes glaze over in a "haze" and get a more sharp tone. His voice is quiet. His movement almost at a stand still. Then it happens. OUTBURST!

Next thing I know, I am having to take Bryce off to the side to talk him down, maybe even bear hug him from behind. Otherwise he is going to try and knock things over, run off, or hit someone (mainly me or his sisters).

And this is where the world's judges come in. They gawk and stare at the "evil" little boy and the parents that obviously can't "control" their kid. They see that as one of us is dealing with Bryce, the other is trying to maintain calmness with Hayley and Skyler, as to not have them feel upset or embarrassed.

Once everything is said and done, the calm comes as the storm passes. And everything is as it once was before the Episode hit. And yes, these can occur at ANY given moment at ANY time of day, in ANY place (even in the home).

What you see as an "outsider" looking in though is NOT what I see. I don't see the "evil" little child that is unruly and needs his "ass whipped more often".

What I personally see as Bryce's mother, and Scott sees in his son as the boy's father is the potential that our son has to become a normal and productive member of society.

Bryce is in mainstream classes at school. And in ADVANCED Math and Reading classes.

He has friends and a 'social life'.

Bryce loves to play games on the computer and his sister's DS.

My boy is a Spongebob junkie.

He has a wonderful talent for knowing about Astronomy.

But Bryce also requires monthly Psychiatric sessions because to help curb MOST of the symptoms of all of his disabilities, he needs medication. And to be sure that the medicines are working properly, there are no adverse affects, and that he is overall doing well, he must see a "Shrink".

Okay, yes I said that I "drug" my kid. But, there are SO MANY misconceptions about the medications that are given to Psychiatric patients. Especially those given to children.

My son is not a "zombie'. He is not "foaming at the mouth" or listless. He is functioning at a better rate for his age THANKS TO those drugs. And it helps curb the ideals for him to go and get a hammer or knife and hold it up at me, all the while saying he is GOING TO KILL ME.

Yep, that's actually happened a few times over the years. Why do you think I have to keep the tool room locked? Mainly with the hammer. I don't remember him ever trying it with a knife.

What this is all boiling down to is that for parents such as myself, we are tired of "professionals" telling us what we do or do not know. No one knows our children better than us. And when we cry out for help, we EXPECT someone to be there, listen and do RIGHT by our kids. Not pass us off and think that they 'know' our children. When that happens, dangerous or even fatal errors can occur.

Same goes for society as well. When you see a parent dealing with an "evil little brat", don't assume that the kid is just a 'bad seed' and the parent is just not "parenting right". Look at the scene a little closer. Try for a second to put yourself in their shoes. Because their child might be Special too.

Hidden Disabilities get the most "heat" in this nation and passed off by the general public more than it should be. It's time to stand back and get to know the person before judging them. They are human too and all they ask for, like anyone else is some compassion, understanding, and caring.

"When life hands you lemons..."

Don't you just love cliches? I do, for the most part anyways.

But, then again, I had so many lemons handed to me in this lifetime, which probably isn't quite half way over with yet, the cliche gets a bit tiring after a while.

At birth, I had fluid on my right lung, an esophugus that was basically torn in two, was a 'preemie' by 1976's standards and weighed only four whole pounds.

Oh, did I mention that that fluid severely collapsed my lung? So... Off to Santa Clara Medical I was flown by chopper. The staff told my father to not even expect me to survive the flight, let alone the surgery....Then to not expect me to live past the first 24 for 48 hours after that...And so on. 

Get the picture here?

Move it along to when I was just shy by a couple of months basically of turning the big 1-3. My mother suffered a traumatic stroke on October 1st, 1989. In the early morning hours, not long after midnight, on October 29th, not quite a whole month later, my mother passed away from the complications she incurred. 

Then, it was just me and my father, living life to the best of our ability, on our own (so to speak).

Almost twenty years later, I start getting strange infections in my left eye. Of course, it was all the signs of Pink Eye. But instead another kind of infection. So we treat it through my Opthomologist. 


Just over a year later, I get another "attack", so I gear up to see the good doctor again, to get more medicine. But, I also like an idiot, poked myself in the bad eye while scratching my eyebrow. 


After being sent to a Specialist, I find out that I perforated the eaten-away Cornea (window on the outside that keeps outside infections...out). So off to North Carolina's Duke University Medical Center I go.


They tried "gluing" the hole shut, in hopes that it repaired its self at best. Or at worst, hold it shut for the infection to go, as to do a Corneal Transplant.


Of course!...My luck had it that three days later, I get to go back to Duke for an emergency Corneal Transplant.


As fate would also have it, the surgery was done exactly 20 years later, to the day, that my mother had passed away.


She taught me, as did life its self that we all will have those sour lemon moments in our lives. At different intervals, there will be trials. We will at times be defeated. But mostly, we will defeat them! 


It's just all in how you use those lemons. Make that sweet lemonade. Or, use them to be a sour-soul.

If only I could get that one operation....(posted on 9/10/09 on CafeMom)

After seeing snippets of President Obama's Address to Congress last night, I must say I was pretty impressed.

Did I agree with EVERYTHING? No. I can see both the pros and the cons with the Health Care Reform Bill that the Democrats are pushing to pass.

And I also agree with the President when he said that it was time to stop playing games. The longer things are "hashed out", argued over and ran through the mill, the more people are dying, getting sick and not having a way to get medical care. Some are forced in to using the Emergency Room for generalized care.

Again, I also agree that ILLEGAL immigrants should not be able to recieve FREE health benefits.

Then, there are people like me. Waiting to have a pre-existing problem rectified. Some of us live in pain, some DAILY, waiting for the day when our Private Insurance companies will be willing (or told that they must) pick up the tab to help improve our lives.

If this Bill can be passed with the provision to make Private Insurance companies help with Pre-Existing Conditions, then MILLIONS of Americans can once again live pain free and have a better outlook on our lives and our futures.

There are so many conditions that can easily be erraticated within a person who has lived for YEARS in pain and suffering. Some need basic health care. Some need more....Such as myself.

If I could only get one operation, then my life would change. For the better. And I would also GREATLY decrease my chance of getting Cancer as a bonus.

Every time one of my Ovarian Cysts rupture, I am in consistent, mind-numbing, send you to your knees pain. There are times I can't even SIT DOWN without being doubled over, in tears.

There are people with afflictions worse than my own with far worse pain. If they could have their treatment or their surgery, can you imagine how greatly improved their overall mental and physical health can be?

If only people in Congress and all through America would stop bickering and do something! It would make the lives of millions of Americans supremely more worth living.

If only we can get those Private Insurers to see that we are MORE than their paychecks and money-makers. We are people. We are HUMAN BEINGS. Not a bank account with interest to draw off of.

It's getting old. Paying in to a health care company that only wants to help when you are at death's door with an ailment, that if taken care of long ago, would not be a possible death sentence today.

If only Private Insurance companies were to pay for Pre-Existing Conditions.