The Mom Pledge..Take A Stand!

I'm a mother, a daughter, a friend, a "sister", a sister-in-law, a daughter-in-law, niece and an aunt.

I'm also compassionate, passionate, sympathetic and empathetic.

What I am NOT is hateful, demeaning, cruel or mean-spirited.

Over the years I have been within the internet world, I have seen some pretty wild, nasty, hate-filled and prejudiced words thrown at others. Complete strangers mind you.

Especially among fellow MOTHERS. And primarily between one "mothers-friendly" site and within the blogosphere.

Am I 100% innocent of not saying something out of haste or anger that was hurtful to someone on the internet? Nope. I'm no angel and will never claim to be.

But I also won't stalk someone and leave such hateful things like what I have seen and even at times (literally) got sick over.

Blogging in particular is an outlet for many different people, for many different reasons. Mothers are of the Blogosphere's top contributors.

As a mother myself, between this blog and my other blog, The "Mental"-ist Mom, I talk about my kids in one way or another. The secondary blog mainly revolves around my son who is disabled due to several mental health issues and what my life is like in raising him to be as normal as he can be. And to show that outward appearances CAN be and at most times, ARE deceiving.

If you are a mother, a blogger and a mom who is AGAINST other mommy-bloggers that can have "verbal diarrhea", leaving hate-filled comments on other's posts or "stalk" other mommy-bloggers (or any blogger really), as a means to TEAR DOWN others, instead of wanting to BUILD THEM UP and offer *support* or encouragement, then I *HIGHLY* recommend that you take the MOM BLOGGER PLEDGE today.

The Mom Pledge Blog features every weekday a fellow Pledge within the community who is standing up against negative mom bloggers.



The Pledge (via The Mom Pledge Founder, Elizabeth Flora Ross)...

I am a proud Mommy Blogger. I will conduct myself with integrity in all my blogging activities. I can lead by example.

I pledge to treat my fellow moms with respect. I will acknowledge that there is no one, "right" way to be a good Mom. Each woman makes the choices best for her family.

I believe a healthy dialogue on important issues is a good thing. I will welcome differing opinions when offered in a respectful, non-judgmental manner. And will treat those who do so in kind.

I stand up against online bullying. My blog is my space. I will not tolerate comments that are rude, condescending or disrespectful.

I refuse to give those who attack a platform. I will remove their remarks from my blog with no mention or response. I can take control.

I want to see moms work together to build one another up, not tear each other down. Words can be used as weapons. I will not engage in that behavior.

I affirm that we are a community. As a member, I will strive to foster goodwill among moms. Together, we can make a difference.

...Now, if only more of us women (mothers or not) can be like this. Women are known to be catty and cut-throat. But to be so to someone you don't even know is just despicable and disheartening.

There are REAL feelings being felt behind those screens, reading the words of hate and disrespect. Real tears fall EVERY single day because a fellow mother had the gall to spew vile from her fingertips.

What if it was being said to you (aimed at the guilty who may read this)?? How would YOU feel if those harsh, demeaning, hurtful, hateful words were "spoken" to you? You don't REALLY know the blogger's life. How much she is TRULY hiding away from the world, only letting out certain pieces.

So now, I beg you, choose your words carefully. You never really know how deep another's pain may be already. To add "insult to injury" can potentially end with disastrous results. Bullying should have been left behind in the school-age years. And stalking should NEVER happen.

Take the pledge with me today. MOMMY-BLOGGERS UNITE!

Yes, Virginia, words *CAN* hurt.

Words. They are probably the most powerful tool that we possess as human beings. They can be used to encourage, relate with and help in the healing process. They can also cut like a knife, aggravate and maim another to their very core.

Some words, while spelled the same, can have two very differential meanings. Take the word "ship". One is a boat that floats on the water, carrying people abroad from one piece of land to another. The other "ship" means to carry items from one location to another for people through a mailing service.

But the word that we will be focusing on that has become ever so quite popular to use in various context is "retard/retarded".

From Dictionary Reference ...

"re·tard·ed"

[ri-tahr-did]

–adjective

1.characterized by retardation: a retarded child.
–noun

2.( used with a plural verb ) mentally retarded persons collectively (usually prec. by the ): new schools for the retarded.

Origin:
1800–10; retard + -ed2

—Related forms
non·re·tard·ed, adjective
un·re·tard·ed, adjective

—Synonyms
backward, disabled, handicapped.

"re·tard"

[ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4]

–verb (used with object)
1.to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.

–verb (used without object)
2.to be delayed.

–noun
3.a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.

4.Slang: Disparaging .

a.a mentally retarded person.

b.a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.

5.Automotive, Machinery . an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.

[End of definitions]

Now, in all the years that I have gone with my father, my husband or on my own to the Mechanic to get my vehicle checked have I ever heard the word "retarded" come out of their mouths to describe the setting of my car's distributor.

I have though, heard of those with mentally debilitating handicaps being referred to as being "retarded" or being a "retard". Both by the medical community, and through society's "common man". And honestly, I literally cringe when I hear those words. No matter their context.

My daughter has a friend who's younger sister is severely handicapped. She cannot walk. She cannot talk. She cannot eat normally like you and I do. But she is sharp. She can bounce around her home with ease upon her knees. She can speak through a "voice box" communications computer, or uses sign language. And she must eat through a bottle, seeing as her "food" has to be in almost a completely liquid consistency.

She has Cerebral Palsy. She is what people would call "retarded". But after you see all that she CAN do, she can place most of us "normal" people to shame. My children play with her at school and within their home. She and I have fun talking and she is ALWAYS giving me hugs and when she sees me in passing at school, the biggest smile comes to her face and she is about to bounce out of her wheelchair to get to me and wants to high-five me.

My biggest pet peeve though, with the words "retard" and "retarded" is when they are used in a non-medical, derogatory manner. Saying to someone, "You are such a retard!" is not only insulting towards the person you are referring to, but to those that REALLY DO have mentally challenging handicaps.

And when you say, "That's retarded.", you are insinuating that something is "slow, stupid, obtuse or ineffective". But listen to yourself as you say it. It's on the same level as stating "That is so gay!". So something is having a relationship with it's own kind? That made no sense. And it insults those in your community that ARE in fact, Gay.

How would people like to hear something along the lines of "It's so nigger."? Sounds great, doesn't it? *insert eye roll here*

Or how about "Stop being such a Jew!"?

My son has several mental disorders that have in the end, deemed him disabled by the state and by the Federal Government. He is NOT stupid, slow, defective, a socially inept being, or a hindrance. He is my son, who is bright-minded with some quirks. He is disabled emotionally, socially, maturely and mentally (to an extent).

What are his disorders, you ask (for those that are new to my blog, or just don't know)? He has ADHD, OCD, ODD, Mood Disorder (basically, he has Bipolar, but due to age, is Dx'd with the Mood Disorder until later in age), and Asperger's Syndrome 'tendencies' (he does not have full-blown Asperger's, but is borderline).

He can be violent, abusive and easily short tempered. He cannot handle change well (especially sudden or massive changes at one time). He has Manic-type mood swings with outward evidences of 'highs' and 'lows' (extreme hyperness or extreme sadness) at any given moment of each day.

But on the flip side, my child is one of the most loving, caring, affectionate, brightest children you would ever meet. With even his bad days, it's hard to NOT love him or want to do your best by him. No matter the cost.

The one thing my son is *NOT* is "retarded". By ANY meaning of the word. I certainly would NEVER let a medical professional refer to him as being such, let alone anyone within "general society". He is handicapped or "challenged". Nothing more. Nothing less.

So, before you (generalizing the word 'you', not pointing fingers to any specific person) go and state that someone is a "retard" for any reason, or say that something is "retarded", think BEFORE you speak those words from your lips. Because once you say them, you can NEVER take them back.

Even those within the medical community have started the change from using the words "retard" and "retarded", seeing the hurt and anguish those two 'simple' words bring to those that ARE affected by mental and physical disabilities, as well as their families and friends.

That alone should tell you something. That wording and context are EVERYTHING. So yes, while sticks and stones may break bones, names (and misuse of words) *CAN* hurt. Especially those that know of someone, or they themselves are personally affected with being handicapped.

Please if you wish to help stop the spreading of the "R-Word" in it's wrong verbiage, join me at...




I have taken the pledge. Will you?


Also, while I am NO fan of severe Right-Wing Conservatism, nor am I NOWHERE near a 'fan' of Sarah Palin, I WILL agree with her anger and I WILL side with Palin in regards to Rush Limbaugh's uses of "retard" and "retarded". Even as he referred to those that REALLY ARE cognitively and developmentally disabled persons.





Don't even get me started on Ann Coulter...

And here I thought KIDS were bad.

Apparently, in most cases, the PARENTS seemingly are no better. And you wonder why I have a MAJOR beef with "fanatical" right-wing Christians and organized religion.

Over on my BFF, Angel's blog she posted a Vlog in regards to a fellow blogger, and one of her bloggy friends, who's son was bullied. To read that post, please feel free to CLICK HERE.

The reason so many of us are up in arms, is due to the fact, that the person in the second link had their SON dressing up as "Daphne" from "Scooby Doo". She made sure several times before ordering that indeed that is what her 5-YEAR-OLD son wanted to be. And he was quite adamant mind you, seeing as his BFF (a GIRL) was dressing as Scooby and wanted to pair up.

Now mind you, this all had taken place in a CHRISTIAN Preschool setting. Where they are taught Pre-Kindergarten concepts and that Jesus says we are to love one another no matter what and to treat others like how we wish to be treated. With love and respect.

Now, if you know me AT ALL, you know for a fact, I'm not one to post Biblical verses. I am a Christian, but not a Bible wielding one that will thump you over the head with the Good Book like bonking you with a ball bat. But just for today, I feel like quoting some Scripture.

Scripture text is derived by the Bible Gateway Site...

Matthew 22:37-40 (New International Version)

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

In other words, if YOU wish to NOT be torn down and demand to be accepted and respected, you damn well better be willing to reciprocate in return.

Wow! The verses I found for you HYPOCRITE Christians out there!! Ready?

Psalm 26:4 (New International Version)-4 "I do not sit with the deceitful, nor do I associate with hypocrites."

Matthew 7:5-"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

Matthew 23:13-[Seven Woes on the Teachers of the Law and the Pharisees ] “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to."

Who can claim the name "Christian" when they are hypocrites to the tenth degree? And against a CHILD no less. Who has ANY right to judge another being? For ANY reason due to being different and "out of the box" where the "normalcy of society" is of any concern? Not myself. Not you. Not anyone. I should only judge my own misdeeds, and the misdeeds of my children. But all others should be left to the Lord God Almighty to judge for Himself. For HE is the ONLY true Judge of any one of us.

Luke 6:37-“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

As a child, and for the majority of it, I was judged and ridiculed. By both children and adults alike. Of course, I felt that it was both parties' faults. It wasn't until later in years, say in my teens, that I had come to an eye-opening conclusion. I should NEVER have blamed the children. But the parents that had raised them.

Children are NOT born to hate and ridicule others in the world. They were TAUGHT to do so. By example and the leading of their parents. I remember COUNTLESS times where I had walked in the door from school, sullen, sometimes tears streaming down my cheeks and being quiet and reserved. All because again, I was picked on for looking different from the other children. And many of them that did this to me were fellow members of our church that I had attended as a child.

My parents had the cops called on them due to the fact that they parked in a Handicapped Zone LEGALLY. But to the old lady, I didn't "look handicapped enough" to need such a spot.

My father almost got in to a fist brawl in a grocery store checkout lane thanks to some idiot ADULT stating that "if I had a kid that LOOKED like that, I wouldn't let it out the house" (thanks to the trache, tubes and monitor wires I required to be hooked up to for day trips from the hospital).

How in the hell can ADULTS, let alone human beings, be so damned cruel? Especially towards CHILDREN? It's so beyond my comprehension, it scares me.

So, this poor mother and her child had to endure horrid comments about HIS choice of costume for this past Halloween. And she got it for "letting him wear THAT". So obviously (and quite sadly) those "mothers" pegged the kid as being Gay. So what, if he is?? He is OBVIOUSLY quite comfortable in his own skin. His mother is proud of him for being HIMSELF. Not some "image" of what or who OTHERS "think" he should "be like".

Parents and people in general such as these "Christian" hypocrites outright DISGUST me. Yep, I said it! They D-I-S-G-U-S-T me. They are a very small fraction of the type of people that just chap my hide. They are two-faced, corners-of-the-mouth speaking snakes in my eyes.

So remember everyone, do *not* blame the children who speak ill of others, for they know not fully what they are doing is wrong. Blame their parents and any other adult-centered influences within their lives. Because it's the ADULTS that are "bringing up" these children to be, act and think how they are doing so. All we can do as REAL Christians is love them and gently correct them and the errors of their words and/or ways.

For the children we are bringing up today will be our future that will bring up tomorrow.

Judging A Book By Its Cover...In This Case, Blog Posts.

Judgment. We all do it at some point in our lives. We may judge a person just by their looks or behavior. We might judge a place, just by secondhand "word of mouth" and decide to NOT go and look for ourselves. Or we judge a book, article or post by it's title, and refuse to read it because we automatically assume it's viewpoints are of a disgusting nature. And in turn, we once again base our opinion of not only the subject within the post, but we tend to judge the author as well.

This very thing happened with the previous post here on Homemaker Diary. Because someone had misread and in turn, misinterpreted the title to the post, taking it that I TRULY do believe in the nature as what the title "sounded like", I was made out to be a racist, controversy-seeking moron. When in fact, I am FAR from that "truth". And the post was named what I chose as to drive home a point. NOT to state what I truly felt.

If I honestly believed in the fashion that I had chosen for the title of my previous blog entry, then the "..." would not have surrounded the title's name. Hence I would have stated that I did indeed think/feel in that manner. But, I used the "..." to show the audacity of such a statement and show what I was about to write about.

Sadly, someone misconstrued the title with the ".." around it to mean that it was the title to the blog it's self and the statement that I really do think in the fashion of the title. And this person was only half right. And being that they flat out decided to not read the post in it's entirety, they missed out on the TRUE meaning and reflection of the post at hand. If anything, my post was speaking AGAINST such a statement. Towards ANY race/color.

If this person had swallowed their pride and not gone off half cocked, then maybe, just MAYBE they would have in the end agreed with me. Even after posting the main points from the blog its self, they still refused to read it. All because they decided blindly on the title's name.

If you wish to check out the post in reference, CLICK HERE.

This is what is wrong with the world today, in my opinion. And no, I am not innocent. Not by any means. To say otherwise would be stating an all out lie. ALL OF US are too quick to judge in this world. From skin color, to people with disabilities, to literally judging books (or in this case, blog posts) by their covers.

I lived my life with judgment all around me. Because of something I could not help. I looked different from my peers. I was not mentally challenged in any form of the word. But because I slightly looked different, with a trache in my throat, it left me open to automatic judging. Even by adults!

This is why I cannot stand ANY KIND of intolerance of any kind.Be it racial, ethnic, physically or mentally challenged, and a host of others. When you automatically "ASS"ume (which makes an ass out of U & ME) about a person, place or even an article BEFORE getting to know them or read the material, it doesn't make the offended look bad. It makes the offender look closed-minded and depending on the case, looking like a bigot and a hypocrite.

Personally, I would much rather read the article/post or get to know the person or place for MYSELF, **BEFORE** passing judgment upon it/them or making my opinion known. To do so leaves you looking less like a jackass.

This is for ANYONE, not just my "regular readers" for future reference...If you have nothing nice to say, being you are too closed-minded and/or scared to read something, be it here or on any other blogs, then here is a suggestion for you (and you the guilty, know who you are)...DO NOT SAY A WORD. Being you wish to predict what the post/article is about BEFORE reading it (if you choose to do so at all), and in turn closing yourself off to other's points of view, only to stay within your comfort zone I call Fantasy Island and not possibly gain a different perspective about the world around you.

Going out on a limb. And I may be getting kicked off. Shock may be found today. (ADULTS ONLY post!!)

I'm straight. I have been since I can remember what 1+1 equates to. I'm a Christian. But not a "die hard, Bible wielding, know every verse in the Good Book" kind. I'm a mother of three great kids. I'm married to the ultimate love of my life. And I at times have bisexual thoughts.

Does that last sentence turn you off? Does it turn you away? Or am I human? I have had these thoughts, fantasies and the curiosity for many, upon many years.

Now that you know this about me, am I "less of a Christian"? No. Am I "lost"? No. Do I feel that this is just a phase? No. Am I less of a friend before today's post? No. Are you? Maybe.

I am in a fan page site over on Facebook where a self-proclaimed "Christian", high school graduate, and college student is just not seeing the forest for the trees.

I'm very sorry, but like with ANY relationship (that is healthy and consensual), a gay/lesbian/bisexual's relationship(s) with their partner(s) is NOT completely and totally revolved around sex and having children. And I am so VERY tired of hearing that "argument", just as I am about the saying of "if we condone marriages of gays, then what's next....marrying ANIMALS?".

Last time I have checked, we humans ARE animals. We are of the mammalian variety. And we are listed as the highest animal species on the food chain, as well as intellect chain. And we have "animalistic" sex with our own species.

Also, it has been scientifically proven that thousands of animal species have homosexual sex amongst themselves. So, is God TOTALLY against homosexuality? Guess not, being He did create the animals. And they have no knowledge of Him, social viewpoints, nor of right from wrong in the sexual world.

Let's get down to the nitty gritty. And from this point, it's really an ADULT topic. And I don't plan to hide anything. If this changes how you think of me, or on how you view me, and you wish to no longer be my friend, then so be it. If you can't handle the REAL me, at it's fullest, then you have not the ability to be my TRUE friend.

On some occasions of love making with my husband, especially when we like it to be a little more rough and kinky, we pull out "THE" toy (rubber dick) and talk dirty (actually dirtier) with one another. As soon as he sets the mental scene of some three-some, and some girl-on-girl action, it totally sets my head spinning, driving me up the wall. Needless to say, between the physical aspects and the mental imagery, it makes me even hornier and gets me off even more so than "basic" sex.

Ever since I was a teenager, I have had fantasies about being with a girl/woman. And I have had the fantasies of being with both a man and another woman at the same time. But due to self-image and self-esteem issues, and now with having young children, to try out and fulfill those fantasies (that my husband and I share in) seems like a lost ship in the vast ocean.

I can't help who I am. I can't help the thoughts and feelings that I have. I can't be anyone else but me. And I refuse to hide that part of myself any longer. I have kept it tucked away, only being something that myself and my husband know. But not any longer.

And for those of you that are thinking this...No, I am NOT writing this for "shock value", to gain readers or comments. I am writing this because I felt it was FINALLY time to. I felt that I needed to be completely honest with myself, and those around me. 

Like I stated earlier in the post, if this causes me to lose friends, then so be it. If they choose to NOT accept me for who I am, how I believe, how I view things and for not being the "Christian" that THEY feel I am not, then they were NEVER TRULY my 'friend' in the first place.

Mean Girls...The realities from someone that's been there.

Mean girls. They have been show-cased in movies, in music and in the news. I've personally had experience with the real deal. Primarily in the Elementary School years. Being that I looked "different" from the other children, I was an outcast.

The girls mainly were the ones to degrade me. Not just in their words, but their actions as well. Often as a girl, I wondered what kind of "kicks" the kids got out of teasing and degrading me. What was with their pointless jokes on my behalf? To this day, I still at times have these questions pop in to my head.

Do bullies, especially the girls, really know what life-long affects take place when they pull their heartless pranks, say their cruel words and make their mark in the "Mean Girls" history book?

Thanks to their cruelty from long ago, I still have self-esteem issues. I often think of myself as not pretty and not worthy of love and affection by a man. Yes, I have a husband. One that loves me and sees me as beautiful. But personally, I cannot see what he sees.

All I still see to this day is a girl that has scars from one end of her body, to the other. I see where I once had a feeding tube from my diaphragm, in to my stomach. I see where the tracheostomy was performed and the trache was the symbol of my survival, as well as my ability to BREATH. I see the pitted area under my right arm where I had a chest tube placed to drain all the collective fluid from my right lung after it collapsed. I see the uneven breasts and the scar leading from under my right arm, leading up just past my right shoulder blade, where they re-inflated my lung, as well as reattached my esophagus, where it was detached (birth defect).

And to this day, I have lasting psychological and emotional side effects not only from having done what was needed to ensure my survival, but from the scars left behind from YEARS of torture from those that never truly understood, let alone took the time to TRY and understand or learn why I looked "different".

Mean girls have gotten to the point with their bullying in this cyber-age, where their violence towards other girls has taken such a toll on its intended victim, that those being teased, taunted and humiliated are TAKING THEIR LIVES.

Is it honestly worth a life to ridicule and demoralize another human being just to get "kicks" from someone else's imperfections? To me, no it certainly is NOT!

If only some of these "mean girls" could have the tables turned on them. Not that I would EVER wish ill-will on another human being. But how would they feel if something was to happen to them and they were disfigured? Be it from a car accident or a fall? Or from some other disfiguring and/or life-altering situation? Maybe they were placed on medication that made them gain weight, or it was caused by a medical condition.

Once their "perfection" is changed in to "imperfection", then they start having friends "dropping" them from their inner circle, or "cliques". Then, the stares and whispers begin. And of course with them not knowing the FULL story behind the changes, the rumor mill starts churning. As do the assumptions.

Finally, the heckling, physical picking and pranks begin.

Finally, that FORMER "mean girl" is getting to experience the reality of what she used to do at one time in her life. Now, instead of the huntress, she is the prey.

Try being in my shoes, or the "former mean girl's" shoes. If only more "mean girls" could experience what myself and MILLIONS of other girls of the past have had to endure. Not by choice, but by force.

Do I blame the parents? In MOST cases, YES! Especially in this day and age. Parents should be an EXAMPLE, as well as the greatest teacher when it comes to children having compassion and empathy for their peers.

Then again, parents can teach these kids all the good values of compassion, respect, empathy and love to their children, and those kids go out in to the world and make poor choices. Their greatest weapon of choice? The internet.

Cyber-bullying, especially among teen girls is at an all-time high. As are the suicide rates due to cyber-bullying. It is so easy to create a profile, "friend" your target and play with their minds and emotions. All the while, as you are "friending" the target, you are talking negatively behind the target's back.

After a while, there will be a whistle blower to throw it all in the target's face to show how "stupid" and gullible the victim has been. Once the victim sees what is REALLY thought about her, then the self-esteem issues, the emotional issues and the mental issues come in and destroy its target.

Please, teach your children to have compassion. Teach them that NO MATTER WHAT, the person that "looks" different (in ANY form!) is still a human being with feelings. Let your children know that it could very easily be them on the other end. Let them know that their actions indeed do speak louder than words. And words used in the wrong way, can and DOES hurt. No matter if they are said behind the person's back, to their face, or on a computer screen.

"Retard!"

As of just a little while ago, I became a member of a FaceBook group that advocates for children and adults with mental and physical handicaps. The group centers their advocacy around educating the public about using the term "retard" when referring to severely handicapped persons.

Here is the link for the group. Check it out if you are interested. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5039649875 (Please Don't Say "Retard")

My son, as some of my readers know, is deemed by our state as being handicapped. He has several mental disorders that affect his ability to have a "normal" life that his peers have. He struggles daily in some form or fashion with his symptoms, which are many to count.

At one time, I myself was legally deemed handicapped. I even had a special parking sticker for my parent's car. I required a tracheotomy from birth, until I was almost a teenager. And I also had required carrying around specialized equipment in the car where ever we went, in case I needed assistance with clearing my lungs.

There were countless times through those years that men, women and children alike would gawk and stare at me. They would point and snicker. There would be whispers here and there as well. And there was also the occasional "If that were MY kid, I wouldn't take IT out in public. Not when they are RETARDED like that".

Sometimes, it was loud enough that my parents could hear it plain as day. Those people WANTED THEM TO hear what they said.

Other times, people would say it low enough, thinking that they aren't being heard. All the while, my parents could hear them. Believe me. And those people knew it by the way my parents would cut their eyes and walk away. With their heads held high of course.

Words DO cut. They do HURT others. Especially when the words are used in an inappropriate, meaningfully hurtful, non-medical terms. Especially the word 'retard' or 'retarded'.

Here is the definition for "retarded"...

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/retard

re⋅tard

 /rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4] Show IPA

Use retard in a Sentence

See images of retard

Search retard on the Web

–verb (used with object)

1.	to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.

–verb (used without object)

2.	to be delayed.

–noun

3.	a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.

4.	Slang: Disparaging. a. a mentally retarded person. b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.

5.	Automotive, Machinery. an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.

My son is no different from your kid (THANKS ANGEL FOR THE INSPIRATION)

When you see my son, what do you see? Do you see the happiness he can have most of the time? Do you see that he can be sly at any given moment? Do you see how much he loves his family?

Can you see that my son is Bipolar, with OCD, ADHD, Asperger's Tendensies, Anxiety Disorder and Behavior Disorder?

When our children with these 'problems' have an 'off" day of lashing out and being 'abnormal', it is OUR normal. We have gotten used to the stares and whispers out in the public eye. Especially when an episode from the Mania he experiences just suddenly pops up during a shopping trip or other outting.

Sure all is fine and good with the world around us....Until it happens. Bryce's eyes glaze over in a "haze" and get a more sharp tone. His voice is quiet. His movement almost at a stand still. Then it happens. OUTBURST!

Next thing I know, I am having to take Bryce off to the side to talk him down, maybe even bear hug him from behind. Otherwise he is going to try and knock things over, run off, or hit someone (mainly me or his sisters).

And this is where the world's judges come in. They gawk and stare at the "evil" little boy and the parents that obviously can't "control" their kid. They see that as one of us is dealing with Bryce, the other is trying to maintain calmness with Hayley and Skyler, as to not have them feel upset or embarrassed.

Once everything is said and done, the calm comes as the storm passes. And everything is as it once was before the Episode hit. And yes, these can occur at ANY given moment at ANY time of day, in ANY place (even in the home).

What you see as an "outsider" looking in though is NOT what I see. I don't see the "evil" little child that is unruly and needs his "ass whipped more often".

What I personally see as Bryce's mother, and Scott sees in his son as the boy's father is the potential that our son has to become a normal and productive member of society.

Bryce is in mainstream classes at school. And in ADVANCED Math and Reading classes.

He has friends and a 'social life'.

Bryce loves to play games on the computer and his sister's DS.

My boy is a Spongebob junkie.

He has a wonderful talent for knowing about Astronomy.

But Bryce also requires monthly Psychiatric sessions because to help curb MOST of the symptoms of all of his disabilities, he needs medication. And to be sure that the medicines are working properly, there are no adverse affects, and that he is overall doing well, he must see a "Shrink".

Okay, yes I said that I "drug" my kid. But, there are SO MANY misconceptions about the medications that are given to Psychiatric patients. Especially those given to children.

My son is not a "zombie'. He is not "foaming at the mouth" or listless. He is functioning at a better rate for his age THANKS TO those drugs. And it helps curb the ideals for him to go and get a hammer or knife and hold it up at me, all the while saying he is GOING TO KILL ME.

Yep, that's actually happened a few times over the years. Why do you think I have to keep the tool room locked? Mainly with the hammer. I don't remember him ever trying it with a knife.

What this is all boiling down to is that for parents such as myself, we are tired of "professionals" telling us what we do or do not know. No one knows our children better than us. And when we cry out for help, we EXPECT someone to be there, listen and do RIGHT by our kids. Not pass us off and think that they 'know' our children. When that happens, dangerous or even fatal errors can occur.

Same goes for society as well. When you see a parent dealing with an "evil little brat", don't assume that the kid is just a 'bad seed' and the parent is just not "parenting right". Look at the scene a little closer. Try for a second to put yourself in their shoes. Because their child might be Special too.

Hidden Disabilities get the most "heat" in this nation and passed off by the general public more than it should be. It's time to stand back and get to know the person before judging them. They are human too and all they ask for, like anyone else is some compassion, understanding, and caring.

Christianity...My brand.

What is a "Spiritual" type of Christian? Many ask me when I say that I am a Spiritual-Christian.

Within the definition, via Wikipedia.com, it states,.....

 "Traditionally, the following sects are "spiritual Christians": Molokans, Dukhobors, Khlysts, Skoptsy, and Ikonobortsy (Icon-fighters, "Iconoclasts"). These sects often have radically different notions of "spirituality". Their common denominator is that they sought God in "Spirit and Truth", rather than in the Church of official Orthodoxy or ancient rites of Old Believers. Their saying was "The church is not within logs, but within ribs".







Rejecting the official church, they considered their religious organization as a homogeneous community, without division into laymen and clergy."


Basically, this is how I too see my Christian walk with God. Not within the walls of a building. Not by paying my hard-earned money to an Organized Place Of Worship. And not within the confines of rituals (i.e.- I don't 'pray' for every tiny thing. Like to get the funds to go get the latest fashion).

Also. I have doubts concerning several areas of the Bible. There are too many holes within too many texts. Or one Book states one thing about a particular event or person. But then another Book relating to the same said person or event is totally opposite.

I'm not the kind of Christian (primarily refering to Fundamental Christians here) who are regarded as "Bible Thumpers", "Holy Rollers", "Religious Zealots" or the like.

I'm not one that will pound you over the head with Bible Verses, judge you for the way you decide to live (except for being abusive, alcoholism, or illegal drug use), or judge you for whom you love (bisexual, homosexual, or transgendered lifestyle).

What you do within YOUR life, to me has no bearing on mine. Nor is it truly my business. I have NO place to judge you. Only God Himself can do that.

Yes, I believe in "an eye for an eye". But you must first "remove the plank from your own eye, before removing the plank from another's".

If you can live with my "brand" of Christianity, then we will be just fine. And believe me when I say that there will be more Chirstian-based posts in the future on my blog.

Just give me  time.