Time Has Passed & It's Almost Time Again.. (Picture-filled post!)

Now you are probably sitting here, reading that title and wondering, "what in the world is this chick talking about with this wacky riddle?!".

On November 18th, my oldest of the three kids had turned twelve years old. Yes, she is one more year closer to the dreaded tag known as "teenager". All in all though, with her maturity level (both mentally, as well as physically) she is more like a fourteen year old.

I'm thirty-five. She is twelve. I am 100 pounds on the nose. She last weighed in at 98. I am five feet tall. She is too. I don't have a set of "boobage". She does.

Basically, if you were to ask her thoughts about all this "you're as tall as your Mama" talk, that may just be what she would do to me after snickering. Like she did in the doctor's office when he asked how old I was, when discussing reading glasses.

As for the second part of the answer to my awesome riddle-title...

The youngest of the three "angels" of mine will be turning seven years old on Monday. Hard to believe. Already, seven years have just up and flown past like a speeding NASCAR racer doing 250 on the inside stretch.

In many ways she is taking after her big sister. She looks up to her (especially being that Big Sissy is about a foot and a half or so taller than her lol) and severely misses her when my oldest has to go on bi-weekly visits with her biological father.

Both of my girls have shown me (albeit the hard way) just what all it had taken my parents to raise me. Raging hormones, attitudes, "Princess-tude".

And thank God, the oldest (who now wears makeup), puts it on and still looks natural, but accentuates her features. Especially those beautiful blue eyes of her's.

At the end of the day, no matter how old they get, and no matter how tall they grow, they will ALWAYS be the apple of their Daddy's eye. My husband may not be my oldest's biological father with not a shred of DNA shared between them, but she is HIS, and he will tell you that to your face.

The little one is so wrapped around her Dad's finger, it's not funny. Okay. It is. But geez! And I thought that I got away with "murder" as a kid. Wrong. I kind of wish I could do that "Freaky Friday" thing and trade places with her for about 24 hours and enjoy some of the (tons of) freedom that she gets.

This past Summer's trip to Richmond has been one of the best I think that we have enjoyed as a family. And now, with all three of my kids growing up, and inching ever so much closer to being teens and "big kids", I find myself reflecting more on the Summers past, when the kids were so innocent, that it never seemed like we as parents would have to deal with more than scraped knees and the occasional "she/he took my toy".

To those of you with "young" (as in under the age of eight years old), take my advice and heed it well. Cherish EVERY single moment with your child(ren). Relish in each hug and kiss (yes, even the open-mouthed baby ones!). Enjoy the fanciness of every tea party and doll playtime.

The young years fly by faster than a Santa Ana wind.

A Grafted Life (Update #2)

Well, I had yet another checkup for the eye's cornea graft, where the last stitch that was still sewn in to the cornea had popped loose and went in to an infection.

After battling the infection, and in turn, an abscess that was right at the top edge of my transplant and the sclera (white portion of the eye), I am VERY happy to report that all of the medications had done their job, and the abscess was irradiated.

But I am also now left with a reminder. Of what I went through, and of what NOT to do again in the future.

Waiting. Too long. I waited a day or two too long to go in and the end result is a scar on my eye that will never go away, or even fade some. The stitch that popped had a nasty infection (that I'd mistaken as ALLERGIES), that once removed, had caused the abscess. The abscess appeared within 24 to 48 hours post-treatment to remove the infected stitch.

So, take it from me, do NOT wait. As soon as you see a red look to your eye, have any amount of pain or burning, GET IT CHECKED OUT. Especially if you have had the eye issues that I have had to endure, and most especially if you have received a Corneal Grafting Transplant for ANY kind of reason.

Do not let ANYTHING hurt that precious gift that you were able to receive. A second chance at sight.

Now, I am down to only using my OmniPred (Prednisone/steroid) drops four times a day for another two weeks, then only twice a day after that. And my Doxycycline pills once at night, to keep my Roseacea from flaring up and attacking my skin and my eyes.

Also, my latest eye chart test pegged me at 20/30 vision. Up from 20/40 last week at that checkup. And my doctor has said that out of 30 to 40 of his patients being Cornea Transplant Recipients, I am the ONLY patient in his care with my type of graft (keratoplasty) due to Perforation of Ocular Roseacea.

As for the rounding of my cornea, my doctor had said that we got the best rounding of the cornea as we possibly can. He said all along that it wasn't going to be perfect, but it's better than having it flat up against my pupil like a flat tabletop.

All in all, it was a good visit. I'm back on track. I've also learned a hard lesson about being a "tough old broad" (at almost 35 years young), and NOT doing what I should have done at the very first sign of trouble.

Like the Cornea Specialist had said, my transplant is a lifelong commitment and will hit a roadblock here and there. As will my Roseacea. And as long as I keep my follow-up appointments and tell when I even remotely think that there is a problem, then we can always stay ahead of the game and avoid other close calls of graft failure/rejection in the future.

TGIF!! Join me & my FAB FRIENDS.

As a child, I had to struggle with being "different". Never mind the buck teeth or the (boy like) short hair cut (thanks MOM!). My kind of "different" was well..different.

My outward, physical appearance made me "look" different. I was at the time (legally) deemed handicapped, due to the nature of the medical problems I had as a kid, and the fact that I had to carry specialized medical equipment with me for emergency basis.

What was my "difference"? I had a tracheostomy from the time of my birth, up until almost the age of thirteen. It looked like the following graphic (or at least pretty close to this one)..

Now I'm sure as you can tell, with the way elementary school children CAN be, that I wasn't the most "popular" kid on the playground. I took it all in stride. But what friends I did in fact have, they were REAL as well as TRUE friends.

They looked beyond the trache and had seen just another kid. Just another girl. Just another tom-boy. I liked to do many of the same things as they did. Imaginative play. Riding bikes. Coloring, swinging, and all the other cool, crazy, fun things that all the other kids liked to do.

While I have ALWAYS valued my childhood friends and their friendships, one always has, and most certainly always will stand out in my mind.

Danielle. Though we all called her "Dolly". She and I were like peas and carrots (thanks "Forest Gump"!). Pretty much, we were inseparable. We did EVERYTHING together. At home, at school.

But she too was "disabled". But unlike me, her disability was hidden. Dolly had a Congenital Heart Defect, and a hole in her heart at birth, that they did patch. But in later years, her heart began to go in to Congestive Heart Failure. We were about six and seven years old at the time.

Eventually, Dolly had to be placed on the National Transplant List. And like now, of course, children's organs, especially hearts and lungs were hard to come by. But finally, her waiting was over and she was able to receive a new heart.

The transplant its self was a success. And yes, I knew, even at the tender age of six, that my BFF was really sick and had to get a new heart. My parents didn't hide it from me.

But, within a few hours of the transplant, her heart was starting to be rejected by her body. And the doctors did EVERYTHING in their power to get her heart to settle and stabilize, even going as far as getting her right back on the list.

Sadly within the first twenty-four hours post-op, Dolly's body couldn't take anymore of the beating that the rejection was placing on her and her heart. She died at the tender and innocent age of seven years old.

For three years, we were like peas and carrots. Side by side. But this is one thing I could not do with her. I couldn't walk her to the Gates. When my mom told me she passed, at first I didn't believe it. I ran out of the house, next door to Dolly's house. As soon as I walked in and had seen all the sad faces and the crying, I knew then that really my friend was gone.

To this day, I still think of her from time to time, and the friendship we had shared. And all the crazy things we would do. And tucked away, up in a box within my attic, I have the last picture that we had taken together, not too long before her death.

So, take my advice...VALUE your friends and your friendships every single day. Don't take for granted what there is in your life. Because one day, they could suddenly be snatched from your life. You never, EVER know what life is going to throw at you or at them at any given moment.

Now, first of all, add your link to my Linky Tool down below and share your blogs with us. And then, head on over to meet some more of my Fab Friends over at For The Love Of Blogs by clicking on the "Fab Friends Friday" button.

It Was A 'Pay It Forward' kind of evening

They say that Angels walk among us. They are hidden within society, not showing their wings, as to blend in. They show mercy, love and kindness. Some are our Guardian Angels, sent here to be with us, help guide us and to protect us.

I truly believe we have met an "Angel in Disguise"...

Last night, hubby and I decided to take the kids out for dinner. He was in the mood for Wendy's (seeing as what he is REALLY in the mood for, he can't have at the moment, so something else HAS TO take its place).

After a good, long wait, being that for some reason, the place was packed and the line long (on a SUNDAY night), we finally made it up to the counter to give the Cashier our order.

Between the meal combos and the Frosties (can't leave without having a Frosty!)the bill racked up to almost forty dollars (within a few cents!).

Scott whipped out the trusty Check Card and proceeded to hand it to the lady behind the counter, only to be told to put his card back in to his wallet.

After giving the woman a puzzled look, she said "someone already paid for your order" and then secretively-like told Scott it was the "lady ahead of you in the pink shirt".

By that time, I'd already sat the kids down at a table. He came to me and explained all that transpired and I was just flabbergasted, to say the least. So, as the "Lady In Pink" was sitting at a booth, awaiting her order, I sauntered over and thanked her for her sincere kindness.

Being that my poor cell phone was about to die, I had enough umph in it to post a text to my FaceBook about it. When I got home, I was surprised at how many "liked" or replied to my post. Especially those that were shocked that there are still people out there that love others enough, even strangers, to do "random acts of kindness".

But like I later stated on another Status I had done, the kindness of strangers still amazes me, but doesn't truly surprise me. I know that they are still out there, though in now a rare breed.

And like I said, blessed are the meek. This woman and her generous heart had taught my children something that no school, nor even I as a parent talking about it could ever teach them. They witnessed what I have told them about "love thy neighbor and do unto others as you wish to have done unto you".

They know (well, at least the two older ones do) that eventually, and as a family mind you, we intend to "pay it forward" to a fellow stranger. Be it at a restaurant, at the gas station or even the grocery store.

And after what I'd been witness to and on the receiving end of, it took me back to the movie starring Haley Joel Osment, Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt aptly named "Pay It Forward", where a teacher who is scarred from a fire has his class do a project of doing a good deed for someone, then in turn that person does a good deed for another. Then that person goes and also does a good deed, and so on. The stipulation? The receiver MUST follow through and "pay it forward" with an act of kindness towards another. Be it a stranger or a friend or family member.

With that all said, I *CHALLENGE* all of my readers who are reading this post to go out and "PAY IT FORWARD". And it does NOT have to be with buying something or paying for something for another person. Just as long as it's a random act of kindness.

Would you join me?

Thanks to my MIL's gift card giving this year for Christmas, I was able to buy a few things I wanted to have and know I would use.

One item being a book (for under $8.00 mind you!) that has 500 questions in regards to the Bible, and answers of explanation.

It goes by Chronological order to coincide with the Bible's text order. So, I would post the question (word for word), and then the answer it gives (word for word).

Then underneath, I'd place (********) to indicate the end of the quotes from the book and give my PERSONAL view of how I view the answer's explanation.

I'm not a fanatical, Bible-wielding Christian who even goes to church. I'm just a simple believer who enjoys learning in her own way and own time of how the Bible pertains to me as an individual and question myself a bit. And I have my own interpretation of how I read and view the Bible.

If this sounds like something you would like to read and participate in, let me know. I'm planning to do the first post TOMORROW (Wednesday, Jan. 5th, 2011), and will do them each Wednesday and Sunday.

It would be WONDERFUL to make this fun, engaging and interactive.

I've even made a GRAB BUTTON for this... (now that I found out how to do them on my own)

<center><a href="http://pr0udmom0f3.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://i413.photobucket.com/albums/pp218/mels_pics_album/cooltext493541244.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a>" width="260" /></center>

Feel free to grab my button and spread the word about what I think will be a great series for all levels of believers (and non-believers) to discuss and learn from.

My favorite tunes from 2010...And the 1st decade of the new century in review.

The following has happened in and around my home, within my life in the last decade (2000 to 2010)....

1) I'd had two more children (2001 & 2004) since having my first in 1999.
2) In 2009 I required an emergency Corneal transplant.
3) Found out that my son indeed has ADHD (along with a host of other mental problems).
4) Sent my youngest off for her very first day of school in 2009.
5) Got married a second time to my soul-mate in 2002 after he proposed to me in a WalMart parking lot in early 2001.
6) Had my divorce papers come in the mail, finalizing my divorce from my first husband (and father of my oldest) on my birthday in December of 2000.
7) Had lost my grandmother that helped raise me after the loss of my mom. She passed in August of 2002.
8) Have now taken three separate trips back home to Nevada. One as a family while Nana was still alive. Another alone when she was passing away. The last for an extended, three-week visit in 2007 (also on my own).

There's much more that has happened. Including the loss of a baby in 2003 and another loss within my husband's family. And of course many good and happy things as well. But these all stand out above the rest.

As you can see, the first decade of this (still) new century has been both good and bad to me and my family. But I'm looking ahead and hoping for the best where the next decade is concerned. I try hard to keep looking forward, instead of where I have been.

Now, here's a few (but not nearly all) of my favorite songs from the 2000 to 2010 years.

**DISCLAIMER!...There is no copyright infringement intended with the following videos. Nor does this blog's author endorse any singer/band in this post, nor is getting monetary gain for doing so.**

Finding yourself via FaceBook.

You probably read that title and thought to yourself that I have officially gone off the deep end. Admit it! Yeah, that's what I thought.

Some of us have personalities that are very open and we know everything about ourselves. What am I saying, you ask? Basically, you know yourself and how much you observe in your world and your life. You know of every single one of your likes, as well as all of your dislikes. People, places, music, literature. You name it, you know of it, all the way down to your very core.

If you are not a FaceBook crackhead, then you are probably quite confused. Let me break it down to it's very simplicity... When you update your interests, you are automatically linked with a "Like" page for that person, place or thing. And/or you can search for said PPT and "Like" it's page.

Some people only "like" a few things. Some people "like" A LOT of things. I have some friends on FaceBook that fall within that first category. I though, fall in to the latter one. And after really looking at all of my interests and "likes" across the board, I think I honestly shocked myself.

Recently, FB had added a new feature. You can see how many "Likes" your friends have, and how many total are on your page as well. For some it's no more than 20. Some, up to 50 or 100...Then there are those such as myself with 200 or more!

After seeing with my own eyes just how many interests and "likes" that I have, my jaw about hit my hardwood floor. It really gave me a great ideal of who I REALLY AM.

I'm more than a wife or a mother. I am more than just a Volunteer at my children's school. I'm more than a daughter or sister-in-law. I am uniquely varied in taste and perception. I am from one extreme to another. I'm a little bit country, and a little bit rock n' roll. I'm a tad bit drama, and a whole lot of laughter.

Life overall has never been all roses, rainbows, puppies and lollipops. I have had more than my fair share of downs that, when looking back, outweighed the ups. But I rolled with the punches and came out the better person in the end, in this thing we call "life".

After seeing everything that I "like", that I take interest in, what my relationships are and weave it all together, I see the entire package now, that makes ME who *I* am.

Now, I can see what so many see in me. I can go with Adam Sandler one minute, laughing until I cry and my sides hurt, to being wrapped up in a love story that stars Sandra Bullock and cry my happy and sad tears all of the way through the movie's entirety.

Or, one moment, I'm listening to Reba McEntire singing "His Name Was John" on the local country station, only to tune in to Lady Gaga on the Rock/Pop station as she sings "Bad Romance".

So much variation is within my life. And I *LIKE* it that way.

How do your FaceBook "likes" cast you and your personality? Do they show the TRUE, FULL and the REAL you? Take a look and see if you "find" yourself today.

Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday w/Shell (Get out the tissues! It's a tear-jerker.)

It's Wednesday, and it's anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out about today, as well. There isn't ever a theme or topic that you have to blog about- it's completely a personal thing. If you wish to participate, please feel free to click on the POUR YOUR HEART OUT button above and you will get all the info on this carnival that you need.

Seeing what Angel is going through, with her mom having a heart attack and Angel's sheer will to be "the rock", had me going back through time. To twenty years ago in to my past (will be 21 in October).

To this day, I remember waking up to my dad yelling at my mom to "wake up" over and over at six in the morning, along with that loud banging noise he kept making on the coffee table beside her.

When I had gotten up and went to the living room, I saw my mother sitting there. But it wasn't her. By that time that damage was done and it was too late. She sat in the chair of her's for HOURS before the discovery by my father. She was in and out of conscientious, you had to yell at her for her to hear you, she wasn't able to speak or move one side of her body. Hours later, after she was taken to the hospital, I sat in her chair to get ready for the day, only to realized she lost her ability to hold urine, being I sat in pee that SOAKED the chair.

Later on in the day, I found out that my forty-three-year-old mother suffered a massive stroke and survived it.

To have to see her in the hospital, and then the Rehab/Nursing Home Center crushed me. I was only twelve years old at the time. Later in life, I did find out she tried to starve herself to death, being she didn't want to live that way. She felt like she was a burden to both myself and my father. Near the end she had to be trached (a tube placed in her throat to help her breath) thanks to the paralysis harming her lungs, as well as STILL near the end, battling lung infections.

For all the times that I went to see her, before leaving I always told her "see you later". And she was in the hospital for twenty-eight days (Rehab Center, actually).

But on that last Saturday, which was her last, full day of life, I told her, with no one else around that it was "okay to go home". I gave her the RIGHT to die. I gave her the PERMISSION she seeked from my father. When I did, I let her know we (Dad and I) would be okay and that I understood.

Under that, though, in my mind I could hear myself getting angry. I did NOT want her to leave me. Not yet. And I resented my father, who must not have cared (in my mind) enough to let her go and be in peace. Why ME? I was only twelve. A child. And I had to do some VERY grown-up things at that time of my life. Both with her in the hospitals and after her death.

What did she do to deserve her fate? And what did I do to have to live my life without my mother, and see her slowly rot away for a month, and could do NOTHING for her, but release her.

As I have gotten older, I have learned some valuable lessons. Starting back twenty years ago, as I loved my mother the best that I could for that last month, before I actually of all the times, on her last day of life said "good-bye, Mom", instead of "see you later".

1) Life will NEVER be fair to you.

2) We all will lose those that we love and cherish in this life. No way around that.

3) Be strong. But learn to let it go and stop being other's rocks, to take time for YOU.

4) We will always have "WHY?" moments. And not all of them will have an answer.

5) Yes, the pain of loss does go away. But NEVER, EVER completely. A piece of your heart will ALWAYS hurt and yearn.

6) Timing is not always on our side. Feel blessed when it is, and ask for courage and strength to walk through the fire when it isn't.

7) It's okay to be angry and/or sad. Even twenty years later.

8) Doctors are not God. They can only do so much. After that it's up to the patient and up to God what happens from there. There is nothing you can do about it.

9) Life's lemmons sometimes stay sour, no matter how much sugar you add. You still have to drink it.

10) Trials by fire don't ALWAYS leave you burned at the stake. Good can come from tragedy. Like a new lease on your life and three kids, with a wonderful husband to boot.

CDC, recalls, and kids. When did we as a society stop REALLY living?

I would be the first to admit it to you. I have not lead the most pristene, clean, upstanding, "perfect" life in this old world of ours. I have screwed up COUNTLESS time in my thirty-three years of living on this rocky, round land.

And for the most part, I live it without regret. And (again for the most part) I don't try to look back. Only ahead. What more can a person really and honestly do?

Over on Facebook, I belong to a Fan Page for the local news channel that I used to watch when I lived in Nevada (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Reno-NV/KOLO-8-News-Now/39225221502). One of today's topics is in regards to the McDonald's 'Shrek'-themed glasses being recalled, due to SUPPOSEDLY having too much Cadmium.

Can someone please tell me when the CDC, the Federal Government, Congress and other branches of Legislation forced kids to stop from being KIDS?

Because when I was little, I had the glasses that were sold/passed out with my Happy Meals of the Disney characters. I had drank water from my parent's garden hose. I ate glue. Hell, I even tried to eat a worm once, as I pretended that it was a piece of 'spaghetti'. I skated and rode my bike without a helmet and knee pads (which I DO wish we DID have back then). I even ate Silly Putty and took big old whiffs of the stuff (because it oddly smelled good to me).

What's the whole point of the list above? To show that as a child I LIVED. I had FUN. And guess what? I came out no worse for ware. I'm alive and kicking. I felt the JOY, as well as the FUN, and the RUSH of being uninhibited and LIVING.

Today, it's all about mass recalls, don't drink the tap water, don't eat non-organic foods, that Soy milk will be healthier than Cow's milk.

So tell me, when did we stop living? Kids today are so tied down with Nintendo, Internet, crappy T.V. shows (that are WAAAAY more volatile in nature, then back in my day). They are no longer going outside in the yard to play.

This is why I *make* my kids play outside every chance I can get. They are limited on T.V., computer and Nintendo time. They have to play or be reading for the majority of the day.

Yes, my kids do get *most* of the CDC recommended shots. I have only said no to one or two types that I will flat-out refuse to let ANY of them have. But other than that, I let my kids enjoy life like I did back when I was a child.

They drink from the water hose outside. They play in the dirt and mud. They dig up worms and on occasion have made mud pies with the worms as "topping". And they do MANY other things that I did as a kid, growing up. Because I let them LIVE, as well as ENJOY their childhood, while they have the chance.

My mom died at the age of 43 from complications of a massive Stroke. She (had) and my father have Type 2 Diabetes. There is heart disease in my family. I have been a life-long asthmatic, due to BIRTH-RELATED complications/birth defects. I was to NOT be alive after the first 24-48 hours after my birth. I had to LIVE in the hospitals for (almost) the first 3 years of my life. I am a recent Corneal Transplant Recipient. How much more 'first-hand experience' am I supposed to have?

So, for the CDC to recall things left and right for practically EVERY single thing is getting (in MY opinion) highly ridiculous and asinine. Especially with it being primarily all CHILDREN'S toys, clothing and food geared towards kids. And because of CDC's warnings, recalls, (constantly) 'updated' warnings to the AMA Boards, kids have been BANNED (yes, I said 'banned') from being typical children.

I feel sorry for my children, and for the world's children of today, and will continue to do so for the future generations, including (God willing) grandchildren. They are, and will be tied down by so many "what if's", 'recalls', warnings and Government-geared 'scare tactics', that we may as well just let the world blow up right now or all commit suicide. Because we can't let people LIVE and better yet, not ENJOY life. There are too many bad POSSIBILITIES out there that might kill us.

Like I stated on the KOLO News page to a fellow commentator, no one ever said ANY of us were going to live perfectly. But LIVE it (life), because it's the only one you have.

Decisions are the "staph" (infections) of life.

Decisions. We all have to make them. Starting even in infancy. But as an adult, some decisions feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. That is until you confront the problem and weigh your options (carefully).

Today is that kind of day for me. I have already taken the first major step. I had to write a letter of concern and possibility to some people that I views as close, personal friends of mine. And it wasn't easy, being that the subject matter brought out some hard-felt feelings and hurt to the forefront.

But it is done. It has been sent to the appropriate people. Now, I must face making my final decision. To stay or to go. That is the hardest part, I think in this whole ordeal for me. While I like the people, and I have learned much, I feel that the 'online community' is no longer serving its purpose of what it was originally founded on. And to me that is sad. But in my eyes, also is a truth.

My life has been inundated with choices. Some have been life-altering. Some just ordinary, everyday life decisions. Maybe it's over what kind of sandwich I should fix for lunch. Another day, it might be pertaining to my son's treatment plan. See? Various. And widely might I add. From day-to-day, my decisions and their severity changes.

While it was extremely hard to have to "face" my friends on the level I did this morning, and as much of an agonizing decision it was to do so, I feel good about it. And I feel better about myself. I stood up for myself, my thoughts, my feelings, and my beliefs (to an extent).

In the end, I can only hope that the friendships I have made are not tattered and frayed. But if they do become so, then it was for the best, I believe. I'm my own person. And I always have been. No one in this life has ever been able to tie me down. Not my parents. Not the medical community. And my friends will not be able to stop me from being who I am. Not in any way, shape, or form.

So, remember, the decisions you make today, can drastically change your tomorrow. Most times for the better. And sometimes for the worse. It all depends on what the decision is concerning.

Mean Girls...The realities from someone that's been there.

Mean girls. They have been show-cased in movies, in music and in the news. I've personally had experience with the real deal. Primarily in the Elementary School years. Being that I looked "different" from the other children, I was an outcast.

The girls mainly were the ones to degrade me. Not just in their words, but their actions as well. Often as a girl, I wondered what kind of "kicks" the kids got out of teasing and degrading me. What was with their pointless jokes on my behalf? To this day, I still at times have these questions pop in to my head.

Do bullies, especially the girls, really know what life-long affects take place when they pull their heartless pranks, say their cruel words and make their mark in the "Mean Girls" history book?

Thanks to their cruelty from long ago, I still have self-esteem issues. I often think of myself as not pretty and not worthy of love and affection by a man. Yes, I have a husband. One that loves me and sees me as beautiful. But personally, I cannot see what he sees.

All I still see to this day is a girl that has scars from one end of her body, to the other. I see where I once had a feeding tube from my diaphragm, in to my stomach. I see where the tracheostomy was performed and the trache was the symbol of my survival, as well as my ability to BREATH. I see the pitted area under my right arm where I had a chest tube placed to drain all the collective fluid from my right lung after it collapsed. I see the uneven breasts and the scar leading from under my right arm, leading up just past my right shoulder blade, where they re-inflated my lung, as well as reattached my esophagus, where it was detached (birth defect).

And to this day, I have lasting psychological and emotional side effects not only from having done what was needed to ensure my survival, but from the scars left behind from YEARS of torture from those that never truly understood, let alone took the time to TRY and understand or learn why I looked "different".

Mean girls have gotten to the point with their bullying in this cyber-age, where their violence towards other girls has taken such a toll on its intended victim, that those being teased, taunted and humiliated are TAKING THEIR LIVES.

Is it honestly worth a life to ridicule and demoralize another human being just to get "kicks" from someone else's imperfections? To me, no it certainly is NOT!

If only some of these "mean girls" could have the tables turned on them. Not that I would EVER wish ill-will on another human being. But how would they feel if something was to happen to them and they were disfigured? Be it from a car accident or a fall? Or from some other disfiguring and/or life-altering situation? Maybe they were placed on medication that made them gain weight, or it was caused by a medical condition.

Once their "perfection" is changed in to "imperfection", then they start having friends "dropping" them from their inner circle, or "cliques". Then, the stares and whispers begin. And of course with them not knowing the FULL story behind the changes, the rumor mill starts churning. As do the assumptions.

Finally, the heckling, physical picking and pranks begin.

Finally, that FORMER "mean girl" is getting to experience the reality of what she used to do at one time in her life. Now, instead of the huntress, she is the prey.

Try being in my shoes, or the "former mean girl's" shoes. If only more "mean girls" could experience what myself and MILLIONS of other girls of the past have had to endure. Not by choice, but by force.

Do I blame the parents? In MOST cases, YES! Especially in this day and age. Parents should be an EXAMPLE, as well as the greatest teacher when it comes to children having compassion and empathy for their peers.

Then again, parents can teach these kids all the good values of compassion, respect, empathy and love to their children, and those kids go out in to the world and make poor choices. Their greatest weapon of choice? The internet.

Cyber-bullying, especially among teen girls is at an all-time high. As are the suicide rates due to cyber-bullying. It is so easy to create a profile, "friend" your target and play with their minds and emotions. All the while, as you are "friending" the target, you are talking negatively behind the target's back.

After a while, there will be a whistle blower to throw it all in the target's face to show how "stupid" and gullible the victim has been. Once the victim sees what is REALLY thought about her, then the self-esteem issues, the emotional issues and the mental issues come in and destroy its target.

Please, teach your children to have compassion. Teach them that NO MATTER WHAT, the person that "looks" different (in ANY form!) is still a human being with feelings. Let your children know that it could very easily be them on the other end. Let them know that their actions indeed do speak louder than words. And words used in the wrong way, can and DOES hurt. No matter if they are said behind the person's back, to their face, or on a computer screen.

Book Review : 'Angels In The ER'

I'm not one that is extremely religious by any means. I have my beliefs and I'm a 'live and let live' kind of girl. Basically, in my "beliefs world", I don't judge you on whom you choose to love (be it a man/woman coupling or a same sex coupling), what belief system you choose to have (be it Christianity or Pagan...to name a couple), how you raise your kids (as long as they are happy, healthy and well adjusted...not abused, neglected or taught to hate others).

I'm a believer in angels as well. I think that they are all around us. You just don't realize this. It may be the poor homeless person on the street, a child at school, or a church member. Or just a kind stranger who is seeing your struggle and wishes to help.

'Angels In The ER' is a book penned by Dr. Robert Lesslie, whom is a Doctor of Emergency Medicine at a hospital in South Carolina. In all his many years at this hospital, he has witnessed many "angelic moments" within the ER. From fellow staff, to patients, to even Security Guards.

Dr. Lesslie tells tales of recovery, life's little lessons learned, lessons on God's miracles and more.

I'm not one that enjoys Christian reading that is inundated with an over-usage of Biblical passages/Scripture. I like small tidbits. And this book offers just enough to "taste" the Scripture. He (Dr. Lesslie) begins each chapter with a verse to show in "real time" it's meaning through his stories of life, death, and lessons learned about human nature.

If you are a Christian novel reader, I gladly suggest that you pick up this book. You can get it at any retail store.

I refuse to "save" my children from every little thing that life throws at them!

Just a while ago, my oldest daughter, Hayley had called me from school. As soon as I see the school's number pop up, I think Bryce is having a bad day or someone is sick.

Turns out that Hayley had "forgotten to bring her homework back to school". Social Studies to be exact. I then looked all over the house for the work she claimed she didn't have as she stayed on the phone with me.

All the while I let her know that she needs to be more responsible for HER work. Not just in doing it, but of also making sure that it is where it belongs after completion so she can take it back to school and properly turn it in.

This is going to sound harsh, maybe even a bit mean, but I do NOT "save" my children when it comes to school work that they have forgotten.

If I do, it's only ONE TIME during the whole school year. And the older two know of this. They know that I flat out refuse to help them when they are old enough to be responsible individuals for their own school things. Be it homework, pencils that should be in their case and in their bags and their text books.

What would happen if I ran down to the school and handed them their forgotten homework every time that they misplaced it, and not having it to hand to their teacher?

What lessons would come from this? Nothing but that mom will always be there to get them out of a jam.

WRONG! My children WILL learn self-reliance, responsibility for their actions and their belongings, and gain better self-esteem.

The only way to do that is to let life it's self teach them. And that means suffering consequences for their actions. Including forgetting their homework.

I'm not a "helicopter mom" type. Never have been, and never plan to be. I'm not one to stand over them every second, take them to the doctor for every little sniffle, or make them eat every scrap of food on their plate.

Sure, I will make sure that their education is up to par, that they eat MOST of their food, and take them to the doctor when all other remedies have failed to cure whatever they have.

But they also need to learn things that I obviously cannot teach them myself. They will have to learn certain things on their own as life for them goes on. What better teacher do we have then ourselves?