So, You Wish To Help Those In Need... (Website info incl.!!)

But you don't know where to go or where to start?

First of all, decide if you wish to make a monetary donation, item (food, clothing or toys and books) donation, or donate some of your free time (like in a Soup Kitchen).

Once you have decided which way (or ways) to go, then figure out your ending budget (as to stay within your means of monetary comfort level).

After you do steps one and two, then you need to find a place (or the places) to go to as to make your donation happen.

As someone who has had to have help around the holidays with getting gifts for my children (food was never an issue for us), believe me when I say that the recipient(s) of your generosity, love and compassion are beyond grateful, your willingness to help those in need, are NOT lost. Especially when it comes to seeing the smiles on our children's faces come Christmas morning.

To the people and the organizations that had helped us in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Now, as a tradition in our family (of two parents and three kids), we donate spare change as we can throughout the Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday season. Also, we donate to the Salvation Army's "Angel Tree" Organization.

I see it as giving back and paying it forward, being that they and a couple of churches have helped us in the past. Now, we aren't as strapped as we used to be. And it teaches my children a valuable lesson in giving, caring and what it means to help your community.

When we go to the mall, we let THEM each pick a child of their choosing (boy or girl), and they choose the age range (usually their age) and then my husband and I try to find a child that is 3 years old or younger.

Then, we take them to places like Family Dollar or Dollar General and have them buy a book (or coloring book), one or two age-appropriate toys, and at least one outfit and some socks.

After that, we let them help pack or wrap the gifts and place them in to a shopping bag (grocery size) and we place the tag with the child's number on it.

Within 72 hours, my kids are taken back to the mall and THEY place their bag(s) of presents for their child under the Angel Tree.

So, here below will be some Charitable Organizations, with their website address and a small description of what they do. Or they may be sites to help direct you to things like your local Soup Kitchen, or Shelter..

Have a safe, fun, happy and GIVING Christmas/Hanukkah season, everyone!


Toys For Tots is ran by the Marine Corps. You bring them unwrapped, unopened/used toys, and they donate them to your locality's kids in need.

Soup Kitchen Locality Directory List is where you can find a place near you to serve a hot Holiday Meal to those in Homeless Shelters.

ASPCA is the site to go to if you wish to help organizations that help treat, house and find new "forever homes" for animals. They are in desperate need all of the time for food, animal toys, supplies like blankets and towels and even bathing supplies.

Angel Tree helps supply Christmas gifts to deprived, in-need children who's families cannot afford much this year (out of work, laid off, disabled and cannot work) because food and medication are more important, as well as heating and shelter this Winter Season. You can donate books, toys and/or clothing.

Goodwill will accept your gently-used or even NEW items to put up for sale in their shops. Their items are sold for extremely low prices and will help those that CAN afford to buy (a few things)for their family members. Plus it puts your community's citizens to work. At your locality's various donation stations and within your community's stores.

Christmas Charity is your ultimate, one-stop-shop for charitable organizations that not only include those mentioned above, but MANY, MANY others as well. For the USA and abroad, as well.

Christmas Shopping = ...Being Greedy Bastards (??)

Originally, I had posted the following on my FaceBook page as a "Note". But I think it needs to really go further than just to my friends on my "Friends List".

Let's just say that I am tired of seeing people lump everyone in to one huge category when it comes to having the "Christmas Shoppers spirit" and are then viewed as materialistic assholes who don't give a rat's ass about their fellow man, woman or child.

What I had initially said was...

I'm just going to put this out there, knowing I may tick some off...

Yes, my children made wish lists for Christmas. Heck, even this year, Mom and Dad are joining in the list-making fun ourselves.

We are NOT materialistic people. We are not all about money and things. Not that having those is a bad thing, per say. And I commend those that are strong on their stance about helping the needy.

But it does peeve me off a bit when you have a bit of a crap-tastic attitude about people shopping for the Holiday, and seemingly "auto-assuming" that we don't give to those less fortunate. In what seems to be every post about donating items to help people.

We have been in a spot where we required help to get our children things for Christmas. If it weren't for Salvation Army, the Angel Tree organization, Toys For Tots and a couple of churches, my children would have basically had NOTHING under the tree.

MOST of us that some people have bashed and downgraded over buying gifts in fact DO buy for and donate things like toiletries, food, clothing, books and toys.

Are there some people in this world that don't give two craps about those in need? YEP. But there are way less of them, and oh-so-many-more of US THAT *DO* care about those that are hurting for food and clothing to keep warm this winter.

So, please, when you are asking people to have a heart and donate to a charity, be it with time, money or items, don't make it sound like we are some horrible, heartless excuses for human beings. When you add insults to your passionate desire to help others, it makes people NOT want to help.

Just some food for thought...

And a quick FYI... My family (myself, my husband, and our kids) DO in fact donate to the Salvation Army's Angel Tree organization, as well as drop money as we can in to their donation buckets.

Now, to ready for Christmas shopping tomorrow.

Parents...Learn From This Show!

No, I'm not joking. And the subject of bullying isn't a joke, either. It's real. It's raw. And today's form of bullying has taken on new ways of cause and effect.

When I was a small child, I was heckled, ridiculed, made the butt of jokes, and even "imitated" because of my trache. Don't forget the name calling and pushing.

But today, with technology advances such as the internet and YouTube, bullying has taken new and (literally) far-reaching forms.

Now kids attack one another on sites such as FaceBook and MySpace, or even Twitter.

Not just in the form of words. But via groups, "like pages", Tweets, videos and other internet means, including in the Blogging world. This is called Cyberbullying.

I am a longtime 'One Life To Live' (ABC) fan. One of the current storylines is centering around a Freshman boy in High School who has life-threatening Asthma. Shane Morasco is at the end of his rope with the bullying and the video of him naked in the school's gym being posted to the internet and "MyFace" (OLTL's version of FaceBook) and ready to end his life just to "make it all stop".

Sadly this is something in regards to bullying that we hear about almost daily in the news media outlet. Be it face-to-face bullying or being bullied on the internet.

Here is the preview of the storyline for this week (April 4th)...



Please, I beg EACH AND EVERY SINGLE PARENT that reads this, TEACH your children about bullying and it's many forms. Teach them what the (possible) repercussions are as the bully and what CAN (and often does) happen to bullying victims.

Both sides lose when it comes to bullying. Some lose their lives. Some have to live with lifelong guilt due to their actions. And families are torn because of the actions of the bully and their target.

No child should suffer abuse from a bully.

And bullies have it within them to change and become better people. But sometimes for that to happen, it comes at a hefty price.

It should NEVER have to be that way.

It Was A 'Pay It Forward' kind of evening

They say that Angels walk among us. They are hidden within society, not showing their wings, as to blend in. They show mercy, love and kindness. Some are our Guardian Angels, sent here to be with us, help guide us and to protect us.

I truly believe we have met an "Angel in Disguise"...

Last night, hubby and I decided to take the kids out for dinner. He was in the mood for Wendy's (seeing as what he is REALLY in the mood for, he can't have at the moment, so something else HAS TO take its place).

After a good, long wait, being that for some reason, the place was packed and the line long (on a SUNDAY night), we finally made it up to the counter to give the Cashier our order.

Between the meal combos and the Frosties (can't leave without having a Frosty!)the bill racked up to almost forty dollars (within a few cents!).

Scott whipped out the trusty Check Card and proceeded to hand it to the lady behind the counter, only to be told to put his card back in to his wallet.

After giving the woman a puzzled look, she said "someone already paid for your order" and then secretively-like told Scott it was the "lady ahead of you in the pink shirt".

By that time, I'd already sat the kids down at a table. He came to me and explained all that transpired and I was just flabbergasted, to say the least. So, as the "Lady In Pink" was sitting at a booth, awaiting her order, I sauntered over and thanked her for her sincere kindness.

Being that my poor cell phone was about to die, I had enough umph in it to post a text to my FaceBook about it. When I got home, I was surprised at how many "liked" or replied to my post. Especially those that were shocked that there are still people out there that love others enough, even strangers, to do "random acts of kindness".

But like I later stated on another Status I had done, the kindness of strangers still amazes me, but doesn't truly surprise me. I know that they are still out there, though in now a rare breed.

And like I said, blessed are the meek. This woman and her generous heart had taught my children something that no school, nor even I as a parent talking about it could ever teach them. They witnessed what I have told them about "love thy neighbor and do unto others as you wish to have done unto you".

They know (well, at least the two older ones do) that eventually, and as a family mind you, we intend to "pay it forward" to a fellow stranger. Be it at a restaurant, at the gas station or even the grocery store.

And after what I'd been witness to and on the receiving end of, it took me back to the movie starring Haley Joel Osment, Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt aptly named "Pay It Forward", where a teacher who is scarred from a fire has his class do a project of doing a good deed for someone, then in turn that person does a good deed for another. Then that person goes and also does a good deed, and so on. The stipulation? The receiver MUST follow through and "pay it forward" with an act of kindness towards another. Be it a stranger or a friend or family member.

With that all said, I *CHALLENGE* all of my readers who are reading this post to go out and "PAY IT FORWARD". And it does NOT have to be with buying something or paying for something for another person. Just as long as it's a random act of kindness.

Media Reaction Over Compassion Regarding Grieving Children

As many of my "older" readers know, my mother passed away when I was twelve years old. She was forty-three years young, but suffered some health problems. In the end, the side effects of a massive stroke took her life.

I'd gone almost daily to either the hospital or to the Rehab Center/Nursing Home to sit with her, talk (really loud seeing as the hearing loss was great and due to the stroke). All the while, I KNEW deep within two things.

One, she was never going to come home the same way again.

Two, she wanted to die. And she WAS dying. Slowly and for the most part, painfully.

No child even remotely fathoms the thought of their parents' mortality. Not for a single second. Especially in early and middle childhood. To them, his or her parents are immortal. They are of Superhero status.

When a young child, at an age of understanding experiences the realities of life and death, usually it is not with the loss of a parent. It is difficult for them. But not totally agonizing.

But I ask you to sit where you are, as you are reading this right now, IMAGINE yourself being a child of twelve years of age.

Now, FEEL the emotions within from realizing that your mother or your father has passed away. You are shell shocked and in complete denial, because parents DON'T die.

Once shock wears off, look at your face when you come to realize that what you were told is in fact true. Suddenly, you crumble in to a heap of longing, despair, unimaginable heart ache and an insurmountable amount of grief as you cry out in longing for your mother or your father to come back. That you want them and you need them, as you BEG for what is true to not be.

That was me. In 1989 on October 29th. Sitting in the living room of the home that I had grown up in. As my father told me, "Missy, remember when I said to 'expect the unexpected' a few weeks ago?", I got hot and flushed in my face, knowing but not wanting to hear the next few words that FOREVER changed my life. "It happened early this morning. Your mom is gone."

All I could do, as people from my neighborhood stood there as a means of comfort was stare at my father, shaking my head and pleading for it to not be true. Finally it hit that what he said was not a lie, no matter how many times I verbally fought it with him.

In the days and weeks that had followed, amidst all the condolences and the "I'm sorry for your loss" people, I wanted nothing to really do with the outside world. I was grieving. Longing for someone that I will never see, speak to, or touch again.

It was a time of my wanting to isolate from the world and the people within. For me and also for my dad, our pain, sorrow and grief were of a private nature.

We needed the time together, as well as alone to deal with our thoughts, our feelings and the realities of what had happened to us.

This is why I am personally quite angry, and tired of how the Media hounds and preys upon children of big name politicos and celebrities in the midst of their loss.

Take for instance, Michael Jackson's children. For WEEKS, those children were followed around, having pictures taken of them, having news cameras in their faces. Even at their father's funeral! Those poor kids could not once get away and grieve and mourn their dad in private.

Now sadly, the media hounds have turned their attention towards the children of Elizabeth Edwards, who had lost her battle with Breast Cancer on Tuesday, surrounded in the PRIVACY of her home with her children (ages five and twelve), as well as former Presidential hopeful and former husband John Edwards, and other close family and friends.

It SHOULD HAVE stayed that way. Especially for those children. No one, no matter if it was a friend or not, should NOT have brought those children's grieving to the media's spotlight.

Depending on the type of service that is held for the late Mrs. Edwards, those poor kids will be forced to fall victim to the Media, having cameras and reporters, and magazine and news paper journalists shoved in their faces. Not once being able to privately hurt and long for their mother.

It will not be an easy road for these kids. It's going to be long, hard and painful. Especially since they are still so young.

I can safely say that even though twenty-one years have passed and life has gone on since my mother's death, at times, it is STILL hard to deal with. Her birthday. Holidays like Christmas, especially since having my own children. Mother's Day.

No child should suffer a loss as great as these kids have. But a child should still be allowed to be a child. Especially during the grieving process, which could take years. They shouldn't have to be the Media's 'Top Story' of the day.

25 Days of Christmas (Day 6)

I'm sure that like us in my home, you are in the midst of tree trimming, hanging wall decor, trading out your everyday "breakables" with those with a Christmas-like theme and preparing your festive meal plans. Then add in all that gift buying and ensuring that all of your Holiday Cards are written, stamped and ready to hand out or mail to those you hold dear.

But wait! What about those that have no tree? Those that have no money or means to have a good meal? And those that cannot buy ANYTHING for even their own child?

What can YOU do to make a difference? Even in just one child's or senior's life this Christmas season. The season of giving, loving and good will towards others.

Let's see here...

You can donate toys and clothing (new) to the Salvation Army's Angel Tree.

ANGEL TREE INFO

Or you can donate NEW toys to Toys For Tots.(Ran by the Marine Corp)

TOYS FOR TOTS INFO

You can even donate GENTLY used toys, books and clothing to your local Goodwill Center, where people can still buy items, but at a very affordable price.

GOODWILL DONATION INFO

If you wish to donate food items, that is WONDERFUL as well. Many stores in your area are currently holding Food Drives. Kroger, WalMart, Target, Food Lion..just to name a few. Call your local retail grocer of your liking and ask what they are doing and how to donate to their Donation Station.

You could even donate food to your local charity centers and/or Food Bank.

FEEDING AMERICA

FOOD BANK FOR NEEDY *PETS* (They need to eat too!)

Wish to actually donate TIME this year? Why not volunteer in a local Soup Kitchen this Christmas?

NATIONAL FOOD BANK ORG LISTINGS

NATIONAL REGISTRY THAT'S LESS CONFUSING

As far as donations go, other than Goodwill, if you wish to not go national, and KNOW for certain that your contribution is staying local and to those in REAL need, I suggest going through your church or synagogue. Especially at this time of year, most churches and synagogues set up donation stations in their foyers to help fellow members and parishioners (in a confidential means, of course) where all donations stay within the place of worship (and distributed only to members deemed in need of assistance).

I've done my part, as have my kids (Angel Tree..Day 3). Now it's your turn.

Yes, I am CHALLENGING everyone that reads this post to GO OUT and to HELP others in need. Be it volunteering time, your money, buying food for a food pantry/bank/drive, or to donate a NEW toy and/or clothes to a child that may have NOTHING under the tree this year without YOUR help.

Everyone needs a little light in their lives. Will you be their beacon? No child (or senior, or even pets) deserve to not have a touch of happiness in the cold months.

Dec. 1st is World AIDS Day

Will you join me? I urge you, if you are on TWITTER, MySpace, or on FaceBook, to RIGHT CLICK, then copy the picture above of the Red Ribbon and use it as your profile picture for today in support of bringing awareness to AIDS and to support in finding a cure.

My cousin Raymond (who I have blogged about before many moons ago) was a victim of HIV/AIDS. He died when I was fourteen years old (almost TWENTY years ago). I was there, along with my grandmother, his mother, and his sister and her husband as Ray drew on his last breaths.

To see him struggle and fight on that last day was beyond heart breaking. As a "child" to be witness to such a horrific scene, it was unimaginable to see death in it's raw form. And in one of it's worst ways. I held his hand and told him it was okay to let go.

He was more than my cousin. He was my "brother". He loved me as if I was almost his. We went places all the time together. Hung out listening to Madonna and Prince. We watched movies.

And I even ate off his fork and took sips from his glass of drink. And I hugged him and kissed him (on the lips) all of the time.

Unlike his own REAL siblings and mother, I did *not* live in fear of his disease...Or of him. So he was "sick" with HIV/AIDS. He was still a human being. And I treated him the same AFTER he became sick, just as I did BEFORE he started showing the signs of full-blown AIDS.

Yes, Raymond was Gay. All out, too. He had the "walk", the "talk", and the "mannerisms" of a truly "Gay" man. That to me, made him even more lovable. Don't ask me why, because to this day, I can't pinpoint the reason.

When he died, it forever left an aching hole within my heart. I didn't lose my cousin. I lost my brother. And for a "technically" only child, that was a loss almost to great for me to bear.

Sadly at the end, I noticed relief in his mother and sister. And for the wrong reasons. It seemed like they were "relieved" to be rid of the "eye sore" of the family. The "problem child" that supposedly brought shame upon their family name. As well as humiliation. And that in its self SICKENED me.

NO ONE should have to "hide" their disease and live in fear of those that are SUPPOSED TO love them UNCONDITIONALLY, no matter HOW the disease was spread to them, be it through unprotected sex, an open wound, or tainted bags of blood from a donation.

I'm a straight, married mother of three beautiful children. I could be in a serious car accident today and require a blood transfusion. And it could POSSIBLY be tainted with the HIV/AIDS infection. Yes, screening has gotten much better since their testing abilities of the 1980's. But science and medicine are NOT perfect and could miss that one bag of blood.

A friend and I could both get cut and they accidentally taint my blood with the infection.

If I contracted AIDS, how would YOU view me? Would I be a Leper? Would you (especially if you don't know me from Eve) ASSUME that I am in a homosexual (Lesbian) relationship?

Or would you extend your hand and your heart to me and my family? Would you shake my hand and hug me? Maybe even playfully take a sip from my glass.

What would you do? After all, those with HIV/AIDS have a right to be treated as human beings, too.

Yes, Virginia, words *CAN* hurt.

Words. They are probably the most powerful tool that we possess as human beings. They can be used to encourage, relate with and help in the healing process. They can also cut like a knife, aggravate and maim another to their very core.

Some words, while spelled the same, can have two very differential meanings. Take the word "ship". One is a boat that floats on the water, carrying people abroad from one piece of land to another. The other "ship" means to carry items from one location to another for people through a mailing service.

But the word that we will be focusing on that has become ever so quite popular to use in various context is "retard/retarded".

From Dictionary Reference ...

"re·tard·ed"

[ri-tahr-did]

–adjective

1.characterized by retardation: a retarded child.
–noun

2.( used with a plural verb ) mentally retarded persons collectively (usually prec. by the ): new schools for the retarded.

Origin:
1800–10; retard + -ed2

—Related forms
non·re·tard·ed, adjective
un·re·tard·ed, adjective

—Synonyms
backward, disabled, handicapped.

"re·tard"

[ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4]

–verb (used with object)
1.to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.

–verb (used without object)
2.to be delayed.

–noun
3.a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.

4.Slang: Disparaging .

a.a mentally retarded person.

b.a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.

5.Automotive, Machinery . an adjustment made in the setting of the distributor of an internal-combustion engine so that the spark for ignition in each cylinder is generated later in the cycle.

[End of definitions]

Now, in all the years that I have gone with my father, my husband or on my own to the Mechanic to get my vehicle checked have I ever heard the word "retarded" come out of their mouths to describe the setting of my car's distributor.

I have though, heard of those with mentally debilitating handicaps being referred to as being "retarded" or being a "retard". Both by the medical community, and through society's "common man". And honestly, I literally cringe when I hear those words. No matter their context.

My daughter has a friend who's younger sister is severely handicapped. She cannot walk. She cannot talk. She cannot eat normally like you and I do. But she is sharp. She can bounce around her home with ease upon her knees. She can speak through a "voice box" communications computer, or uses sign language. And she must eat through a bottle, seeing as her "food" has to be in almost a completely liquid consistency.

She has Cerebral Palsy. She is what people would call "retarded". But after you see all that she CAN do, she can place most of us "normal" people to shame. My children play with her at school and within their home. She and I have fun talking and she is ALWAYS giving me hugs and when she sees me in passing at school, the biggest smile comes to her face and she is about to bounce out of her wheelchair to get to me and wants to high-five me.

My biggest pet peeve though, with the words "retard" and "retarded" is when they are used in a non-medical, derogatory manner. Saying to someone, "You are such a retard!" is not only insulting towards the person you are referring to, but to those that REALLY DO have mentally challenging handicaps.

And when you say, "That's retarded.", you are insinuating that something is "slow, stupid, obtuse or ineffective". But listen to yourself as you say it. It's on the same level as stating "That is so gay!". So something is having a relationship with it's own kind? That made no sense. And it insults those in your community that ARE in fact, Gay.

How would people like to hear something along the lines of "It's so nigger."? Sounds great, doesn't it? *insert eye roll here*

Or how about "Stop being such a Jew!"?

My son has several mental disorders that have in the end, deemed him disabled by the state and by the Federal Government. He is NOT stupid, slow, defective, a socially inept being, or a hindrance. He is my son, who is bright-minded with some quirks. He is disabled emotionally, socially, maturely and mentally (to an extent).

What are his disorders, you ask (for those that are new to my blog, or just don't know)? He has ADHD, OCD, ODD, Mood Disorder (basically, he has Bipolar, but due to age, is Dx'd with the Mood Disorder until later in age), and Asperger's Syndrome 'tendencies' (he does not have full-blown Asperger's, but is borderline).

He can be violent, abusive and easily short tempered. He cannot handle change well (especially sudden or massive changes at one time). He has Manic-type mood swings with outward evidences of 'highs' and 'lows' (extreme hyperness or extreme sadness) at any given moment of each day.

But on the flip side, my child is one of the most loving, caring, affectionate, brightest children you would ever meet. With even his bad days, it's hard to NOT love him or want to do your best by him. No matter the cost.

The one thing my son is *NOT* is "retarded". By ANY meaning of the word. I certainly would NEVER let a medical professional refer to him as being such, let alone anyone within "general society". He is handicapped or "challenged". Nothing more. Nothing less.

So, before you (generalizing the word 'you', not pointing fingers to any specific person) go and state that someone is a "retard" for any reason, or say that something is "retarded", think BEFORE you speak those words from your lips. Because once you say them, you can NEVER take them back.

Even those within the medical community have started the change from using the words "retard" and "retarded", seeing the hurt and anguish those two 'simple' words bring to those that ARE affected by mental and physical disabilities, as well as their families and friends.

That alone should tell you something. That wording and context are EVERYTHING. So yes, while sticks and stones may break bones, names (and misuse of words) *CAN* hurt. Especially those that know of someone, or they themselves are personally affected with being handicapped.

Please if you wish to help stop the spreading of the "R-Word" in it's wrong verbiage, join me at...




I have taken the pledge. Will you?


Also, while I am NO fan of severe Right-Wing Conservatism, nor am I NOWHERE near a 'fan' of Sarah Palin, I WILL agree with her anger and I WILL side with Palin in regards to Rush Limbaugh's uses of "retard" and "retarded". Even as he referred to those that REALLY ARE cognitively and developmentally disabled persons.





Don't even get me started on Ann Coulter...

And here I thought KIDS were bad.

Apparently, in most cases, the PARENTS seemingly are no better. And you wonder why I have a MAJOR beef with "fanatical" right-wing Christians and organized religion.

Over on my BFF, Angel's blog she posted a Vlog in regards to a fellow blogger, and one of her bloggy friends, who's son was bullied. To read that post, please feel free to CLICK HERE.

The reason so many of us are up in arms, is due to the fact, that the person in the second link had their SON dressing up as "Daphne" from "Scooby Doo". She made sure several times before ordering that indeed that is what her 5-YEAR-OLD son wanted to be. And he was quite adamant mind you, seeing as his BFF (a GIRL) was dressing as Scooby and wanted to pair up.

Now mind you, this all had taken place in a CHRISTIAN Preschool setting. Where they are taught Pre-Kindergarten concepts and that Jesus says we are to love one another no matter what and to treat others like how we wish to be treated. With love and respect.

Now, if you know me AT ALL, you know for a fact, I'm not one to post Biblical verses. I am a Christian, but not a Bible wielding one that will thump you over the head with the Good Book like bonking you with a ball bat. But just for today, I feel like quoting some Scripture.

Scripture text is derived by the Bible Gateway Site...

Matthew 22:37-40 (New International Version)

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

In other words, if YOU wish to NOT be torn down and demand to be accepted and respected, you damn well better be willing to reciprocate in return.

Wow! The verses I found for you HYPOCRITE Christians out there!! Ready?

Psalm 26:4 (New International Version)-4 "I do not sit with the deceitful, nor do I associate with hypocrites."

Matthew 7:5-"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

Matthew 23:13-[Seven Woes on the Teachers of the Law and the Pharisees ] “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to."

Who can claim the name "Christian" when they are hypocrites to the tenth degree? And against a CHILD no less. Who has ANY right to judge another being? For ANY reason due to being different and "out of the box" where the "normalcy of society" is of any concern? Not myself. Not you. Not anyone. I should only judge my own misdeeds, and the misdeeds of my children. But all others should be left to the Lord God Almighty to judge for Himself. For HE is the ONLY true Judge of any one of us.

Luke 6:37-“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

As a child, and for the majority of it, I was judged and ridiculed. By both children and adults alike. Of course, I felt that it was both parties' faults. It wasn't until later in years, say in my teens, that I had come to an eye-opening conclusion. I should NEVER have blamed the children. But the parents that had raised them.

Children are NOT born to hate and ridicule others in the world. They were TAUGHT to do so. By example and the leading of their parents. I remember COUNTLESS times where I had walked in the door from school, sullen, sometimes tears streaming down my cheeks and being quiet and reserved. All because again, I was picked on for looking different from the other children. And many of them that did this to me were fellow members of our church that I had attended as a child.

My parents had the cops called on them due to the fact that they parked in a Handicapped Zone LEGALLY. But to the old lady, I didn't "look handicapped enough" to need such a spot.

My father almost got in to a fist brawl in a grocery store checkout lane thanks to some idiot ADULT stating that "if I had a kid that LOOKED like that, I wouldn't let it out the house" (thanks to the trache, tubes and monitor wires I required to be hooked up to for day trips from the hospital).

How in the hell can ADULTS, let alone human beings, be so damned cruel? Especially towards CHILDREN? It's so beyond my comprehension, it scares me.

So, this poor mother and her child had to endure horrid comments about HIS choice of costume for this past Halloween. And she got it for "letting him wear THAT". So obviously (and quite sadly) those "mothers" pegged the kid as being Gay. So what, if he is?? He is OBVIOUSLY quite comfortable in his own skin. His mother is proud of him for being HIMSELF. Not some "image" of what or who OTHERS "think" he should "be like".

Parents and people in general such as these "Christian" hypocrites outright DISGUST me. Yep, I said it! They D-I-S-G-U-S-T me. They are a very small fraction of the type of people that just chap my hide. They are two-faced, corners-of-the-mouth speaking snakes in my eyes.

So remember everyone, do *not* blame the children who speak ill of others, for they know not fully what they are doing is wrong. Blame their parents and any other adult-centered influences within their lives. Because it's the ADULTS that are "bringing up" these children to be, act and think how they are doing so. All we can do as REAL Christians is love them and gently correct them and the errors of their words and/or ways.

For the children we are bringing up today will be our future that will bring up tomorrow.

I won't remember for a day,or for the month.This 'rememberance' will be with me until I die.

See the ribbon above? I have chosen personally to not only remember this important day of awareness on just October fifteenth of every year. But, to remember it for the entire month of October.

Nor will I ever be allowed to forget for the rest of my days.

October fifteenth is known nationally (in the USA) as "Pregnancy And Infant Loss Remembrance Day". And for many mothers such as myself, as well as the millions around the world, we will never be able to forget our babies. Some of us were lucky enough to hold them for a few hours, a few days, or a few months. Then again, some of us (such is my case) never got to hold, touch or even see our baby.

On Halloween Day of 2003, I was in the sixteenth week of pregnancy. All was going fine (as so I thought, seeing as I had no complications to that point, and it was my third pregnancy). That day, I was scheduled for a vaginal ultrasound being I was a high-risk pregnancy for health reasons.

I knew, the second I had seen the little peanut on the screen, something was very off. After having so many ultrasounds in the past, I knew what to look for. And the one thing that none of us had seen was the heart fluttering.

After the doctor's tone changed to the ever-so-famous "cautiously optimistic" tone, I knew that it was confirming what I already knew thanks to my "Mommy gut".

To get a better look and to indeed confirm what all of us already knew, I got placed on the big ultrasound. And then and there, I had the worst nightmare for a pregnant mother to go through. My baby was dead.

After getting the shocking news, my mother-in-law called my husband to get to the doctor's office. All he knew was that something was wrong with the baby. After we both got over the shock of all that happened, I called where we both worked at the time and let them know. For some stupid reason I kept on apologizing for not making it back to work from my extended lunch time.

A few days later, seeing as the baby did not miscarry on it's own, I was forced to have a D & C (Dilation and Curettage) to help expel my twelve to fourteen-week-old baby. I was nearing toxic levels in my system from the baby being dead inside for up to approximately four weeks. It was the worst and the most horrific surgerical procedure that I have ever had to endure.

All I knew was this was NOT supposed to be happening. I was not to be having to abort my baby. I was supposed to be having a normal pregnancy and readying for the new addition to our hearts. And instead, I was being forced to let him or her go.

To this day, especially when Halloween Day is upon us, and when November third (the day that my baby was "officially" gone from me), I still grieve. And I often wonder what would have become of our Michael Gregory, if he had survived.

Sure, some will read this and say to themselves that I need to "get over it already". But they cannot EVER know the lasting pain and the hole that is forever etched in to your heart and in to your soul from a loss as deeply profound as losing your baby (or a child in general).

I may not have ever been able to have held and caressed my child in my arms. But he is forever within a special place of my heart, and is deep within my soul, right along with his two sisters and his brother. For they too had lost out on having another brother to love.

I Watched Someone Die Not Once, But Twice!

Today is World Alzheimer's Day. Do you know of someone that has been touched by this awful disease? Or, are you yourself inflicted with it?

My grandmother (Nana) had Alzheimer's. It started off slowly when I was still living in Nevada. Actually, I take that back. I strongly believe for her, it started while we were all still living in California, where I was born and primarily raised.

At first, it was very subtle. Nana would place something down in a pretty conspicuous place, where anyone with pretty good eyes (and back then, they were pretty good for her) could clearly see the object in question. Only, minutes later, she would get up and do whatever, only to search long and hard for what she "misplaced" moments earlier. When one of us (being myself, my dad, or my step-mom) would find it sitting practically in front of our face, we all would just laugh it off and chalk it up to Nana having a "blond moment".

But as time wore on, and after we moved to Nevada, things with Nana's memory was getting worse. And worrisome. She had gotten to a point where she could tell you about her childhood and teen years, but could not recite to you what she ate for dinner the night before.

Eventually, long after my dad and step-mother divorced, Nana's Alzheimer's really took a hold of her, along with the other factoring health problems (such as her COPD and her Emphysema). At this point, my father's own health was starting to rapidly decline, due mainly to the stress of being his mother's primary caregiver. Even with outside resources stepping in to help with her care...

Eventually, there was no other choice. And it was primarily for my father's health and sanity, that Nana was placed in to a Nursing Care Facility. Not too long after her transfer to the home, her mental status declined dramatically.

No longer could she tell you what she ate just a couple of hours before, for dinner or any other meal. Now, my father became my uncle. Because whenever my dad went in (almost daily) to see her, Nana thought that he was her oldest son, not my father. That really tore him apart inside. No longer was he the son that was REALLY there, and that was her main caretaker.

About a year or so after her entrance in to the Nursing Home, and at the point where that God-awful disease, Alzheimer's robbed my grandmother of her mental faculties completely, I got the call that I was dreading for the last couple of years. The day before her birthday, no less.

That next VERY early morning, I hopped on the first of THREE planes (stupid layovers!) to get to her, hopefully in time. She was in the hospital, her organs shutting down. Her mind now ravaged savagely by the Alzheimer's. They gave her (at best) 24 hours. It was then about the 23 to 25 hour mark when I got in to Reno, and hence to the hospital with my dad.

Somewhere in between his waiting for me at the airport and us getting to the hospital, Nana apparently suffered a Stroke. Her Hernia that she developed made her look AT LEAST seven months pregnant.

At one point, I had to leave the room. I could no longer take seeing her in that condition. For me, that was NOT *my* grandmother. That was *not* the same woman, by looking at her, that helped to raise me the rest of the way after my mother's death in 1989. So, as calmly as I could, I told her I would be back in a bit, as to let her rest.

For a brief moment in time, she had a twinge of clarity within her ravaged mind. Which of course, by then was moments that were far and few in between. She started mumbling and her hands started to go erratic. She was (in the only way she could, being she couldn't speak due to the stroke) trying to tell me not to leave her. She was getting so upset, I told her (through yelling, being the stroke damaged the nerves in her ears) I'd be back. She calmed a bit, but not much..Finally I had to leave. I almost got sick all over the ward's floor from seeing what I did. It was horrific..

Before that point, all she did was breath and stare at the ceiling without literally batting an eyelash. That alone brought me back to being 12-years-old and seeing my mother in pretty much the same condition after her stroke. For me, history was repeating it's self and rearing its ugly head before my very eyes.

The next day, we went back. She made it through her birthday. But later that next evening, something inside me said to NOT go and see her when they transferred her back to the Nursing Home. To die.

Not even an hour after I had changed my mind, we got *THE* call. She was gone. Free now, from the pain that she had to endure at the end. And finally, Alzheimer's Disease no longer had it's horrible grip upon her mind. She was free.

A few years later, my father and I were talking about Nana. He finally admitted something to me. Years before, when Hayley and Bryce were 2 years and 3 months of age, it was the ONLY time that she (Nana) was able to see, touch and hold her great-grand-babies. I'm so happy she was. And he even posted a family picture of us on her Nursing Home room's wall.

It came out in this conversation with Dad, that about a month before she passed away, Nana had forgotten who I was. She would look at the picture and without missing a beat, would ask my father who it was (the young lady) in the picture that was on her wall. Then she would ask about my (now) husband, Scott and the kids.

To hear that she no longer remembered the woman whom she helped raise tore me apart inside. It made me angry. Not at her, but at the disease. It made me resentful. Why me? Why did that nasty disease have to rob me of her, and in turn, her of me?

It's truly sickening to watch and know of someone you love, and that (more than likely) took care of you, just waste away to practically nothing. It is a disease I don't care to wish upon my worst enemy.

For me and my father, we didn't lose our mother and grandmother just once in our lives. We had to endure losing her twice. The first time, she was 'dead', but still breathing. And that is the worst kind of death, in my mind, to see someone you love go through.

If you wish to know more about Alzheimer's disease and it's history of origin, please CLICK HERE.

"Where Were You On That September Day?"

If you recognize that line that I used for the title of this post, then you know which song it is from and what it symbolizes. September 11, 2001 will remain in many a heart and memory for generations to come.

Not for it's year in music or the Emmy that Television shows had won. Or the hot Summer Flicks that Hollywood spun out that year.

It will be remembered as one of the most prolific tragedies of our time. Of our generation, and of the Twentieth Century. September 11th is forever known as '9-11'.

That was the day that it did indeed seem that the world had stopped turning. Millions in America, and billions around the world had frozen in place as they had witnessed first hand, or had seen the first taped images of the root cause of the first Trade Center Tower being on fire, seeing as the second plane crashed in to the other tower as the first was being filmed on live TV, as it was on fire and had people JUMPING OFF the building, as to escape being burned alive.

Do you remember what you were doing at that moment in time? Be it in pieces, or in minute detail. I certainly do. All the way down to calling my husband at work, and listening to his description of how the customers and his co-workers reacted to the news.

When the news started breaking, they had said in past-tense that a plane hit the WTC Tower. As Diane Sawyer and Charlie Gibson from Good Morning America (back in those days) were trying to get more on the story, thinking a bomb (not a plane) had gone off, right behind them, on the back screen, in a live shot, the other plane came in at what seemed to be an odd angle.

Suddenly, as I sat there, engrossed and waiting for a more defined answer to what happened, the answer became horrifically known to me and millions of others in the nation as to what REALLY happened.

Sitting there, holding Bryce in my arms (he was three months old then, and Hayley was at school for her (then) developmental delays), I watched as the other plane hit and just blew up before my very eyes.

Suddenly, I began to cry and I notably held Bryce a little tighter as he sat upon my lap, oblivious to what was unfolding before him. Then the thought swept in to my mind, and I could hear myself say "What kind of world have I truly brought my children in to? Is this what they have to look forward to in their future? What did we as a nation do, to deserve this kind of terroristic-type act (not knowing yet that it INDEED WAS a terrorist attack upon out nation)?".

I'd sat there, frozen and silent. It wasn't until I came out of the 'trance' that I realized that I just witnessed a plane full of people, and people within that tower being murdered. The shock to see what I had, left me dazed.

After I got myself together, I called my husband at work (then, we didn't have cells, so I had to call the store) and I asked if they had heard. He'd said yes, as did all of the customers and fellow employees, being that they announced it, and then had a moment of silence...Customers left in droves to get home, or were on frantic calls right in the aisles, Scott said, making sure their loved ones in NY and that were to be on flights that morning were okay.

Just think, one week prior, I was flying home from Reno, Nevada, after a week's stay due to my grandmother (Nana, who's ashes I wrote about finally getting) had passed away. Even then, on the flight home, something seemed...'off'. But I could never place what it was. I just felt very uneasy. And I had never felt that way before when it came to flying.

Maybe I was sensing the tragedy that was about to unfold. But I just didn't "get it". The entire trip home felt 'weird'. Who knows.

Maybe there were a couple of those terrorists on board with me, getting "practice flights" or going to their final destination via my route to go home. This I will never, ever know for sure. All I know is that I knew that there was something big coming. I could feel it. But I couldn't pinpoint what it was. That feeling stayed with me...

All the way home on my flight upon American Airlines.

*The following has real footage from news tapes included in to this song's video.*

May we never forget.

Volunteering. It's that time again.

Have you ever done it? Volunteering, I mean. In your child's school.

Did you know that as a Volunteer, you do NOT have to work at the school its self? You can do some things as a Volunteer in the privacy and comfort of your own home, as well.

And another bonus? You do not have to have a child at the school to be a volunteer! You can be a grandparent, an aunt or uncle. Or just a local neighbor that wishes to lend a helping hand.

Some of the things that you can do at home as a Volunteer would be...

Cutting out soup labels or boxtops.

Make phone calls to get others to supply things such as snacks and juices for events.

Cut out letters, numbers, shapes and other needed decorations for classrooms or other areas of the school you choose to help.

There are also many things you can help with within the school's setting. And you do NOT have to be with your child's class, either.

You can...

Be a Room Parent that coordinates and heads class parties as per the school's allotment.

Help in the Library.

Help with Reading Classes.

Assist at the school's Book Fair(s) that are held once or even twice a year.

Help with After School Activities (such as dances).

There is something for EVERYONE to do. Talents and knowledge within all types of areas are needed and encouraged to be filled.

You just do not know how even (what seems to be) the simplest of "jobs" you do, be it from home, or within the school, can affect the children you serve, and the staff.

Kids and the staff need outside help and resources to let the kids benefit the best that they can while in their instructional setting.

Plus, it gives you an up-close, upfront, and personal view of what REALLY does go on in the school environment and classrooms.

This year, I'm looking to add a couple more hats to being a Volunteer. The Principal and I had talked while I was at Orientation with Skyler, who is going in to Kindergarten this year.

We are going to look at me getting a "promotion" to Co-Volunteer-Coordinator, for one thing. The Volunteer Coordinator is dealing with a lot of health issues and having to travel much due to a family member being ill. She was gone a good portion of last school year, and I took over. So, I know what the entire job entails. And I gladly welcome the challenge.

And then, I will be sitting on not just one, but two Parent Advisory Boards. One for the school it's self, and the other where parents from ALL of the schools in each school zone come together and state (as a representative of your school and your zone/ward)in front of the School Board what WE as parents, and as reps, would like to see done differently, added, or taken away from 'policy'.

At the school-level, I would bring back to the meetings, what was discussed and decided upon at the School Board level, we would let the Principal know what we want to see for our individual school, and we would help decide on certain things of what to change, add, or remove.

So, it seems that overall, I'm going to be a busy bee where school is concerned, more so than last year. And I do plan on doing my three-days-per-week volunteering in the classrooms and wherever else I am needed.

I'm honestly at my happiest points after I have done a few hours at the school. It's so very rewarding. Not just for the kids and the staff. But for myself as well. I get to walk away each time, knowing I made a difference in a child's life. Even if it's just a scratch upon the surface.

Once the kids (that don't) get to know me, and I them, there is a very special bond. And yes, I may even collect a few favorites. It's really not hard to do. And the kids that know me from last year will come up and see me. I look forward to those that will do so, to come running up to me and give me my 'daily' hug. I'll be asked if I could lunch with one here or there. And knowing me, I won't be able to resist the puppy dog eyes and cave in.

Really, when I think of it, I don't know who gets more out of volunteering. Us, the Volunteers, or the kids that come to know us and look for us to be darting down the halls, maybe to their classrooms.

Please, if you have never done so, or think you cannot, do try to volunteer at least once within a local school. It's a gift that keeps on giving every time you do something to make a difference in a child's world. I wouldn't trade this gift in for anything.

McDonald's is changing the world.

McDonald's. It's been a kid-friendly staple for over fifty years. Who knew that when Ray Kroc first opened his little burger joint's doors, that it would be the mega-empire it is today?

It wasn't (if I remember correctly) until the middle 1970's that Happy Meals started to appear. Back then, it was either a hamburger or cheeseburger, with a small fry and a kid-sized drink.

Today, there are various types of Happy Meals. From burgers, to nuggets, to even a Snack Wrap. Plus you can now choose fries or "Apple Dippers", and either a milk (or chocolate milk), Apple Juice, or a fountain drink (AKA soda).

The other day, I had taken my kids for a breakfast. I had no milk, so no cereal. And I wanted to get out of the house anyways. At first I didn't seem to notice, but when I went to throw some trash away, I did.

Usually, you can see the small, plastic boxes where you can drop coins in to the box's slot. All proceeds in that box goes to the Ronald McDonald's Charity House for your general locality.

There, now in a huge window display poster, it now reads that Happy Meals and McDonald's was bringing even more smiles...and hope to kids and their families.

Namely families with sick, hospitalized children.

To my memory, if it serves me right, my parents, a time or two, had to stay at the Ronald McDonald Charity House while I was hospitalized. Plus, even though it was for a (grown) uncle, I and his (then) girlfriend and were able to stay a night at the Ronald McDonald Charity House here for this area.

McDonald's has (for the most part) always been committed to children and their families. They help HUNDREDS of families every year, around the United States.

When families, and their children must travel long distances for medical treatment, or the child is transferred via ambulance or helicopter to a distant hospital, then this is where the RMCH comes in.

They house the family (and sometimes the child too, if they are not admitted to the hospital), feed them a meal, let them shower and rest. And the RMCH has as much of a comfortable environment as possible. To make it as much a "home away from home" as they can make it.

I'm so happy that children and their families have somewhere to go, and feel safe, and be comfortable, as well as relaxed during their child's most trying time of life. And I'm happy to be a part of it. I love giving back to those that helped me and my family when I was a child. Be it RMCH, Children's Miracle Network (CMN), or Shriner's Organization.

Without them all, I don't know where myself, my parents or the millions of families like ours would have (or would in the future) do without them.

Blog Blast From The Past...Boy Was I *Mad*!

WOW! This blog is from LAST SUMMER where I posted it on my blog page at MySpace. These days now are NOT AS bad, but we still have times where I have the same problems.

Read on, if you wish. But be mindful, at this point in time last year, I was struggling. So was Bryce, and the rest of the family. So in the end, I was (unintentionally) biting heads off. But with good reasons. Both Bryce and I were in a dark place where his problems are concerned.

It's filled with some adult language, and much anger. I am the type that I don't mind advice. But I refuse to be EXPECTED to take it (and use it). Especially from someone that CLEARLY knows NOTHING about my son's conditions, our our life of dealing with them.....



June 28, 2009 - Sunday

Blog Title : Let me give YOU a lesson on what it's like for kids like mine and our families...

Category: Life

As a mother of 3 and a mom of a child with ADHD and a host of other mental disorders I can say that yes, we DO tell these kids "no". And at times have to PHYSICALLY redirect them.

Doesn't always work. Sorry.

They can be VERY manipulative and obviously sneaky.

Thanks for your *ahem* advice anyways to those who love to give it when not even asked for their opinions on the subject matter.

**I love how those that DON'T live with kids like ours thinks that they know all there is in how to *control* them to be PERFECT.**

I have our tool room locked, thanks to my son threatening to KILL ME more than once by bludgeoning me with a hammer.

And my attic door is locked, thanks to him constantly going up there, where it is a dangerous area to be and getting in to things after being told REPEATEDLY to not go up there.

If things don't change soon, we MIGHT have to PAD LOCK all my doors to leave my home due to his running off, jumping off my balcony and running up under a bridge where trains go through SEVERAL times a day.

Anyone that thinks that they can do better with MY child, I extend an invitation to let you keep my kid for ONE MONTH and see just how much progress you make with YOUR way of "straightening" him out and be able to have self-control, less aggression and not be so defiant and have more attention span.

Sound like a deal?

By around 4 PM, my son's Vyvanse wears off. It only works for a set number of hours. And it isn't meant to be taken more than once a day. In the morning, when you need them to focus and be attentive during the daytime.

Vyvanse can make a child lose their appetite for the most part. And instead of eating when they are SUPPOSED to, even with constant coaxing, they will at most times sneak in the middle of the night to the kitchen and get out food and eat when THEY feel hungry enough to eat.

That is one of the huge drawbacks with this and other ADHD medicines. They can severely affect the hunger center of the brain while helping the area that controls impulsivity and attention. It really is a Catch-22.

Where meal time is concerned and the fact that my son more times than not, refuses to eat because he is "not hungry" at meal time (knowing he had NOTHINGin between meals but a few drinks of water, milk or low sugar juice), no matter what was fixed, in my house, if you cook it, then they must eat at least SOME of it. I'm not cooking to cater to suit each individual taste. I am cooking for the family as a WHOLE.

For kids like ours speaking of mine, that are on a medicine that acutly decreases the appetite center of the brain, we must "force" them to eat their meals. And also, they thrive on incentives.

So, if they eat at least 1/2 their meal at dinner, then they get a HEALTHY snack later that evening. That may contain (like for MY family) a small juice box and a granola bar, fruit cereal bar or a small bag of BAKED chips.

Some kids like ours will try to manipulate and "run the show" to ensure that they are getting what THEY (the CHILD) wants.

So, as their parent, we have to have the upper hand and enforce stricter than normal rules upon our child.If that means no extra food (a TREAT) for not complying with OUR rules about eating meals, then so be it.

Don't just assume that our kids get junk food. Because in about 90% of the cases where they are sneaking and hoarding (and hiding) their food, the parents are trying their best and their HARDEST to maintain a HEALTHY lifestyle of eating and portioning.

NO CHILD should have to feel like they aren't "being fed" well enough. And parents of children like ours (mine and the OP) are doing ALL that we can to ensure that our children have the best nutrition and that their nutritional needs ARE being met.It's nowhere near an easy job for us.

And it is especially hard on our kids. Because they honestly CANNOT help how they are or how their brain functions. But not only do their disorder severely affect them, they affect the family as a WHOLE.

Honestly, I have lost count as to how many times my son has (almost severely) hurt either of my two girls. One is 17 months older, the other 3 YEARS younger than him. My son is 8.

Much of the time it's because his impulses say he "needs" a certain toy or other item that they have, so if he doesn't get what "his brain tells him to get", then he acts out violently and basically makes the sister give up the said item. By causing them pain to make them let go and so he can snatch it and take it away.

Right now, my son is is in Intensive In-Home Therapy. And at it's highest level of services. Crisis Intervention. Because he is half a hair away from being placed in a specialized facility to house him and help him more than what we as his parents and the IIHT can do.

Believe me. we have tried everything possible. Yes, from spanking down to time-outs, to taking things away, and grounding.As of this time, we are trying a points system. He has to earn a set amount in five areas of compliance.

If he gets the minimum goal, my son gets ONE privilege of his choice. If he gets a little higher, he gets TWO of them of his choosing. If he makes the full amount of points, then my son can have ALL of his privileges if he chooses so.

But, if he falls BELOW the minimum allowance, then he gets NOTHING. No privileges at all.

So far, even though he is trying to butt heads with me and testing me to see if I will break, the system has thus far been working. I think his seeing his progress and knowing what the deal is, it's finally making some headway. But, it's still early in the game.

Try being up constantly to tell your kid to go back to sleep (knowing he has YET to close the peepers) from 11 PM til around 4 AM.

All because he didn't get his Trazodone for the night. His brain is CONSTANTLY active. It can't "go to sleep" and rest without medical intervention. How he does it, I have no idea.

And being that his brain is so active, losing physical sleep does NOT affect his ability to learn. It primarily affects his moods and compliance with authority figures. Mainly of the FEMALE variety.

Well, now that you have been informed of what I and MANY other parents go through on a DAILY basis with our Special Needs kids with mental disorders, does it honestly sound easy or like that there is a "quick fix" to all of the problems that the kids and us as their parents have to endure?

If you still say YES, then I will let you have my son, WITHOUT his medications and see how easy it is for you to "tame" him and break him as if he is a wild animal.

Some people really amaze me and other moms and dads like myself as to how they view our kids, us as parents and show how IGNORANT of the facts that they really are. It's sad, really.

If anyone should be pitied, it's those types of people. Not us.

Knitting, Gays & Fundies...

Where to start?...I'm so frustrated, saddened and upset, I could spit a whole brown bag of nails.

As some of you know, I had a cousin who was more like a brother to me. He passed away many years ago, when I was fourteen. He died from complications of AIDS. And yes, he was an (openly) Gay man. But it was a tainted blood transfusion of all things that killed him. NOT from having "gay sex".

Also, in my "by-marriage" family, I now have a gay uncle, and a lesbian aunt. They both have life partners. And my aunt and her partner have two wonderful children. And they are some of the most wonderful people you could ever meet on this earth.

There is a friend that I have over at a social website named Colin. He lives in the UK with his life partner. He does BEAUTIFUL work with his gift of knitting. He was severely abused as a child. And yep. He is Gay, too! He loves showing his Lhasa Apso dogs, and is an avid blogger.

Colin as of late though, has been getting bombarded by comments over at his blog in the last several posts by Fundamental Christians. Primarily concerning his sexual lifestyle. And THEY apparently have "figured out" why Colin CHOSE to be gay.

EXCUSE ME?! I'm sorry. But by experience of having family members that are (were) gay, I can certainly say that ninety-nine percent of the GLBT population would not CHOOSE to be WHO they are. I refuse to say 'what', being that those that are G.,L.,B., or T. are still also human beings.

Who in their right mind would CHOOSE this lifestyle? Yeah, they WANT to be ridiculed, beaten, and even killed for WHO THEY LOVE and for WHO THEY ARE.

Who in this world has any rights to judge another person for who that person lays next to at night? How would YOU like to have a 'peeping tom' in YOUR bedroom?

To those that oppose same-sex relationships (and especially marriages), do you "do it" in any other position than just Missionary? You went against the Bible! Do you (MALES ONLY) ejaculate OUTSIDE of a female's vagina? You went against the Bible! Do you perform oral sex (for both genders)? You went against the Bible (and even some modern State-issued laws here in the USA)!

Now, where marriage is concerned, how are two, consenting, deeply-in-love, same-sex ADULTS ruining the "sanctity of marriage" by getting married? If you look around, us "straights" have done a bang-up job of screwing over the "sanctity" of marriage all on our own. We don't need a 'homo's' help in that department.

Hell, to be honest, gay/lesbian people have a better view and understanding of marriage than us "hetero's" do! I know more gay couples that have been together double, triple, and even quadruple the amount of time than that of their straight counterparts. Including my Aunt and my Uncle (by marriage).

So, my dear Christian Fundie readers, what do you have now to say about gays, marriage and the (non)-choice to be gay? Maybe I need to start spying in to your closets and your bedrooms. I bet I can find all kinds of skeletons and swords to use against you.

Now, if you care to read and actually get to know Colin (and see his (ART) works of knitting) then feel free to stop in on his blog page and maybe even leave him a note of encouragement...

http://colinknits.blogspot.com/2010/06/evil-states-of-mind.html

My Shining Star (My Son)

Well, yet another chapter has been written for my child. Another diagnosis. Another medication. And I'm okay with it. We know what it is, what it's caused by and how long he could have the problem.

Finally, after almost a month of fighting and nipping the heels of the doctor's office staff manager, the insurance company and making some complaints filed, it happened. Bryce FINALLY got his prescription for the Intuniv approved to be covered by his insurance carrier. That's one less thing to worry about.

As for his oral tics, they have gotten worse. And we noted that they picked up more after the Intuniv was started. Although, we pinpointed that it is NOT the medication causing them. But the medications (one, two, or possibly all three) are bringing them out more than they would usually show.

Bryce has now been diagnosed with Tardive Diskinesia. Basically, his tics are a neurological disorder consisting of abnormal, involuntary body movements caused by certain medicines. It is usually associated with long-term use of medicines for treating schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders. And this disorder will most likely NEVER go away. He has a strong possibility of always having tics to some degree for the rest of his life. And some bouts can and do affect his day-to-day living.

By what we have seen, as early as infancy, he has always had a very mild case of tics. But since starting certain medicines (primarily the Seroquel and the Intuniv that was just added), the tics have become more prominent and vary in degree of progression and regression. They have once again gotten not only in to his mouth region, but also in his hands and feet. Even his eyebrows are getting the tics.

We as his parents, have seen great improvement in everything thanks to the Intuniv being added. He isn't as aggressive, or volatile. He has a better time focusing and being organized. Even his teachers had stated how improved he had been (they did NOT know I placed him on the Intuniv for the first 2 or so weeks). They said he was like day and night with the (positive) changes.

Of course, those changes came with a price. But it's one that all of us (myself, my husband Scott, and Bryce himself) are willing to pay. And that is the severe increase in the tic disorder. I'm calling him my Jumping Jellybean. 

My son, no matter his outward appearance is still a NORMAL, active, (for the most part) healthy boy. He just has A LOT of twitches. And yes, it can impact his speech and verbalizing things he wants to say. It takes him a bit longer to get his sentences out. Patience is the key. For both of us.

In fact, this year, Bryce (for the first time) is taking the Standards Of Learning Tests (math, reading, science, social studies). He has a "Test-Taking Buddy", where he goes off to the teacher's room that does Title-One reading to do his testing. He finds it better to be alone so he can talk-think his answers, doesn't feel as pressured to perform well, and isn't on a time limit (being he is disabled, those are his afforded rights as a disabled student). His scores will come in the mail with his final report card of the 2009-2010 school year.

He may not "look" normal, but he isn't your "average" kid either. He may be at about a 4 to 6-year-old mental-maturity level, but he has been deemed (like his older sister) to be Academically Gifted. He can do work from normal grade (3rd) range, up to 6th-grade-level, based on the subject.

I'm proud of all three of my kids. They are all my shining stars in one way or another. But Bryce's star shines just a tad brighter. He has endured one struggle after another in stride, and with pride. And he has (in his own unique way) shown this old mama just how strong and how far she will go to see that my kids are NEVER 'left behind'. And for that, I will forever be in his debt and he will always have my gratitude.

Going out on a limb. And I may be getting kicked off. Shock may be found today. (ADULTS ONLY post!!)

I'm straight. I have been since I can remember what 1+1 equates to. I'm a Christian. But not a "die hard, Bible wielding, know every verse in the Good Book" kind. I'm a mother of three great kids. I'm married to the ultimate love of my life. And I at times have bisexual thoughts.

Does that last sentence turn you off? Does it turn you away? Or am I human? I have had these thoughts, fantasies and the curiosity for many, upon many years.

Now that you know this about me, am I "less of a Christian"? No. Am I "lost"? No. Do I feel that this is just a phase? No. Am I less of a friend before today's post? No. Are you? Maybe.

I am in a fan page site over on Facebook where a self-proclaimed "Christian", high school graduate, and college student is just not seeing the forest for the trees.

I'm very sorry, but like with ANY relationship (that is healthy and consensual), a gay/lesbian/bisexual's relationship(s) with their partner(s) is NOT completely and totally revolved around sex and having children. And I am so VERY tired of hearing that "argument", just as I am about the saying of "if we condone marriages of gays, then what's next....marrying ANIMALS?".

Last time I have checked, we humans ARE animals. We are of the mammalian variety. And we are listed as the highest animal species on the food chain, as well as intellect chain. And we have "animalistic" sex with our own species.

Also, it has been scientifically proven that thousands of animal species have homosexual sex amongst themselves. So, is God TOTALLY against homosexuality? Guess not, being He did create the animals. And they have no knowledge of Him, social viewpoints, nor of right from wrong in the sexual world.

Let's get down to the nitty gritty. And from this point, it's really an ADULT topic. And I don't plan to hide anything. If this changes how you think of me, or on how you view me, and you wish to no longer be my friend, then so be it. If you can't handle the REAL me, at it's fullest, then you have not the ability to be my TRUE friend.

On some occasions of love making with my husband, especially when we like it to be a little more rough and kinky, we pull out "THE" toy (rubber dick) and talk dirty (actually dirtier) with one another. As soon as he sets the mental scene of some three-some, and some girl-on-girl action, it totally sets my head spinning, driving me up the wall. Needless to say, between the physical aspects and the mental imagery, it makes me even hornier and gets me off even more so than "basic" sex.

Ever since I was a teenager, I have had fantasies about being with a girl/woman. And I have had the fantasies of being with both a man and another woman at the same time. But due to self-image and self-esteem issues, and now with having young children, to try out and fulfill those fantasies (that my husband and I share in) seems like a lost ship in the vast ocean.

I can't help who I am. I can't help the thoughts and feelings that I have. I can't be anyone else but me. And I refuse to hide that part of myself any longer. I have kept it tucked away, only being something that myself and my husband know. But not any longer.

And for those of you that are thinking this...No, I am NOT writing this for "shock value", to gain readers or comments. I am writing this because I felt it was FINALLY time to. I felt that I needed to be completely honest with myself, and those around me. 

Like I stated earlier in the post, if this causes me to lose friends, then so be it. If they choose to NOT accept me for who I am, how I believe, how I view things and for not being the "Christian" that THEY feel I am not, then they were NEVER TRULY my 'friend' in the first place.

My First Time.

Some say, when you have your first time, it can be really scary. You don't know what to expect, how to act or react. Or even what to feel at that very moment in time.

There are many firsts in our lives. First boyfriend or girlfriend. First dates and kisses. First time having sex. And then there is another first. One that thousands in the United States, and millions world wide get to have. Believe me, it is a first that no one wants to experience.

The loss of someone that for some people, they don't really even know on a "personal" level. But the shock, hurt, fear, and pain is still the same. Because in my exclusive club, when one hurts, we all hurt. When one rejoices, we all rejoice.

Sadly, there is no rejoicing for us in the Transplant Community in our Facebook tight-knit group, TEC. For one of our own is watching his wife dying before his very eyes. And there is NOTHING now that can be done for her.

She was in the process of testing to receive a Liver Transplant. She was even transferred to another hospital to start rehabilitation. But no sooner they got her there, she had to go back to her regular hospital and be placed in ICU. Sadly, she is now in Liver and Renal Failure. Her Kidneys have also basically shut down. Now, this vibrant, "young" woman is on full life support and around-the-clock dialysis.

Her family is coming in to say their good-bye's and at this point she is comfortable. By Monday, she will be taken off of life support and let nature take it's course, unless her heart stops before then.

This is a first for me. It is a stark, let alone grim reality of being in the Transplant World. None of us, be it Live Donors, Donor Families, or Recipients, I think honestly "get it" until something like this happens. We are in a "La La Land" of sorts. We all know that some get the call and are lucky. Some sadly don't. But until it REALLY "hits home" and happens to one of your own (so to speak), you can't honestly get a grasp on the severity of the realities of being in this (be it unwanted) exclusive club, where ALL ages are welcome, nor are they turned away. Transplantation has no age limits. Nor does Organ Failure.

Today, I await word on a friend's wife. He held out so much hope, gave her SO much love and devotion and was there for her from beginning to end, never wavering. He was giving positivity and hope to fellow new caregivers, even as he has had been getting his own heart shattering through seeing that there was nothing he could do but support and be there for the love of his life. And he is at this moment, by her side. Showing her his undying love, giving all the support he can as her soul-mate and just waiting for the end to sadly come.

We, his friends, have been loving them, supporting them and have hoped for the best. But sadly, the best came too late in the game. And for one woman, her journey through the Transplant Experience is almost over. Help was coming too late.

This "first" is something I will carry with me for years to come. And it's a "first" I knew would come along in my life. I just didn't think I would be blind sided with it this soon after becoming a Recipient myself. But I thank it for coming like it did. Why? Because now I can see the TRUE realities of the Transplant Community/World. It's not all a bed of sunshine, puppies and rainbows.

There is also darkness, heart break, sadness and death. In  this "club", lives are at stake. We have to depend on another person, be it that they are alive or have died, to keep US alive, seeing and going on with our own lives. And to be here for our loved ones. That's a hard pill to have to swallow.

Some one had to DIE to give me my sight back. Some people depended on someone's death to be their second chance for a new heart or a new set of lungs. It's not easy knowing this fact. In some ways, some of us (myself included) felt like we "took" or "stolen" from our donors, in a selfish manner. But that is NOT the case.

Our donors gave of themselves to help those that are in need of a second chance at living their lives and being with their loved ones. Without them, we either would not be able to see, walk or even be alive ourselves.

There is so much more of a Demand, than there is a Supply for people in need of a Transplant. Be it a heart, a kidney, lungs, cornea, skin, and many other organs, tissues and even blood. Please, if you have yet to do so, SIGN UP to be an Organ/Eye/Tissue Donor. Be a HERO and pay it forward. You never know when YOU may depend on someone else for a second chance for the Gift of Life.

*COPY* Of My NEWEST letter to the Gov. of Virgina

April 20, 2010

Dear Gov. McDonnell,

Once before, I had written to you personally to ask that you help me, my son, our family and other families like ours in the fight to place Vyvanse back on the Medicaid's list of available options to treat mental disorders (written on Feb. 5th, 2010). I had received a "round about" reply, and to be honest, it hurt me, thinking that maybe you didn't really care as to what your Virginia Citizens had to say.

But, just a moment ago, I had read an article, via the Roanoke Times (http://www.roanoke.com/news/roanoke/wb/243974)  that indeed you wish to fight FOR our families, not against us. And for that I do thank you.

I can only hope that you, sir took my words in to consideration as to your decision to fight for medications to help treat mental illnesses and disorders placed on (or back on) to Medicaid's Preferred Drug/Drug Availability/Coverage List.

Now, I am begging, not just asking, Mr. Governor, that you take this fight all the way. Do NOT stop. To stop is to fail. Not only yourself or this state. But you would be failing my son and countless other children that require Drug Therapy to help them lead a more "normal" life outside of their mental illness/disorder/disability.

I'm not scared to go up against "professionals" who feel that withholding services from my son is alright. I would take on the Government if I had to myself. My life has been too much filled with adversity from the start for me to back down now. Not for myself. Not for my children.

Please, Mr. McDonnell, give our children the best chance at a good life. Make it easier for me, and other parents to be able to go to the Pharmacy without having to fight for THREE WEEKS between them and Medicaid just to get our children's medicine. No child should have to go that length of time WITHOUT their medication because insurance decided it is in THEIR best interest to no longer cover that medication in their Drug Coverage Plan for it's consumers.

I've now got a renewed faith in you, Governor McDonnell. Please know that I will back you 100%. But I want to see you do your part. I know that you received much flack from us parents (primarily mothers) for letting Medicaid take advantage and in the end, disadvantage our children. I can only hope that WE were your driving force for going up against Medicaid.

Keep fighting the good fight, Mr. Governor. And thank you, from a mom with a very special little guy.

Sincerely,

Melissa A. Cowart (Lynchburg, Virginia)