TGIF!! Join me & my FAB FRIENDS.

As a child, I had to struggle with being "different". Never mind the buck teeth or the (boy like) short hair cut (thanks MOM!). My kind of "different" was well..different.

My outward, physical appearance made me "look" different. I was at the time (legally) deemed handicapped, due to the nature of the medical problems I had as a kid, and the fact that I had to carry specialized medical equipment with me for emergency basis.

What was my "difference"? I had a tracheostomy from the time of my birth, up until almost the age of thirteen. It looked like the following graphic (or at least pretty close to this one)..

Now I'm sure as you can tell, with the way elementary school children CAN be, that I wasn't the most "popular" kid on the playground. I took it all in stride. But what friends I did in fact have, they were REAL as well as TRUE friends.

They looked beyond the trache and had seen just another kid. Just another girl. Just another tom-boy. I liked to do many of the same things as they did. Imaginative play. Riding bikes. Coloring, swinging, and all the other cool, crazy, fun things that all the other kids liked to do.

While I have ALWAYS valued my childhood friends and their friendships, one always has, and most certainly always will stand out in my mind.

Danielle. Though we all called her "Dolly". She and I were like peas and carrots (thanks "Forest Gump"!). Pretty much, we were inseparable. We did EVERYTHING together. At home, at school.

But she too was "disabled". But unlike me, her disability was hidden. Dolly had a Congenital Heart Defect, and a hole in her heart at birth, that they did patch. But in later years, her heart began to go in to Congestive Heart Failure. We were about six and seven years old at the time.

Eventually, Dolly had to be placed on the National Transplant List. And like now, of course, children's organs, especially hearts and lungs were hard to come by. But finally, her waiting was over and she was able to receive a new heart.

The transplant its self was a success. And yes, I knew, even at the tender age of six, that my BFF was really sick and had to get a new heart. My parents didn't hide it from me.

But, within a few hours of the transplant, her heart was starting to be rejected by her body. And the doctors did EVERYTHING in their power to get her heart to settle and stabilize, even going as far as getting her right back on the list.

Sadly within the first twenty-four hours post-op, Dolly's body couldn't take anymore of the beating that the rejection was placing on her and her heart. She died at the tender and innocent age of seven years old.

For three years, we were like peas and carrots. Side by side. But this is one thing I could not do with her. I couldn't walk her to the Gates. When my mom told me she passed, at first I didn't believe it. I ran out of the house, next door to Dolly's house. As soon as I walked in and had seen all the sad faces and the crying, I knew then that really my friend was gone.

To this day, I still think of her from time to time, and the friendship we had shared. And all the crazy things we would do. And tucked away, up in a box within my attic, I have the last picture that we had taken together, not too long before her death.

So, take my advice...VALUE your friends and your friendships every single day. Don't take for granted what there is in your life. Because one day, they could suddenly be snatched from your life. You never, EVER know what life is going to throw at you or at them at any given moment.

Now, first of all, add your link to my Linky Tool down below and share your blogs with us. And then, head on over to meet some more of my Fab Friends over at For The Love Of Blogs by clicking on the "Fab Friends Friday" button.

Pouring Your Heart Out w/Shell...Back To School Time.

Do you need to pour your heart out about something? Then click on the button above to Shell's post at Things I Can't Say, grab a button to put on your PYHO post, and begin pouring.


Please be mindful that everyone linking to Shell's PYHO post is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)


In our school, they teach (elementary level) Pre-K, through 5th. Last year was THE day for my youngest. She was almost 5 then (will be 6 in a few months). I, like many, counted down the days, made everything sound right in the world to her in regards to going to "big kid" school. And I made it like it was block-party time because Miss Skyler was *GOING TO SCHOOL!*.

When the day was FINALLY here, we got her in her uniform (yes, we are a uniform school..blech!), her big sissy and bro-bro helped her pack her back pack and then all of us (incl. dad who went in late to see this) waited for the inevitable. The first bus ride "alone" as a fully independent child. Not the dependent baby I raised to get to this stage of life.

As we stood there, I had flashbacks of all three kids run through my head. Of when they were babies and toddlers. And then I saw before my eyes, the wonderful children that they (at this point in their lives) have thus far grown up to be.


Sure, I smiled, laughed, made it all-out exciting and positive. But I was dying a little inside. It hurt to see my last baby go off. And seeing Skyler get on that bus did me in. Yes, I kept that slapped-on smile upon my face, and I waved to her as they started to pull off. But, as soon as they were out of eyesight, I lost it.

No longer could I hold back the hurt that my heart felt. The tears in their dam were no longer able to be kept at bay. Reality hit me square in the face, and in the heart.

Walking back in to the house, it was eerily quiet. I was so used to hearing Nick Jr. on the television and seeing Skyler munching on a morning goody (cereal mainly).

But on that day, it was just me and the cats. No "Mama!! I'm thirsty.", or "Mama! Where we go today?". Because, she was at "big kid" school.

This year, it will be a bit better. And Skyler is SO very excited to be going back to school. So is Bryce. Hayley on the other hand? She is 50/50 on the subject.

I get to do this again NEXT year with my oldest, who will be in Middle/Junior High School. It will (I'm sure) be riddled with many of the same fears as I had with them going off to Kindergarten (or Pre-K in Skyler's case) for the first time. Only this time, with MUCH more peer pressure and other "really big kid" things.

Even now, I can see Hayley (and yes, Bryce, too) as they were in the days of where Skyler is now. And all I can wonder at this point is...

God, where does the time fly off to? It all happens so quickly.

Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday w/Shell

I'm angry. I'm scared. I'm confused. And I keep asking that golden question, "why?!".

Yesterday, I had to take Hayley to the doctor. Usually, she is the healthiest of the three kids. For her, it's just basic check-ups and any shots needed. End of story.

Not anymore. I took her in for two reasons. One being her left ear hurt really bad. Come to find out, she had a severe blockage of wax deeply near the ear drum.

But, that was the least of my problems. And her's.

The other night I fixed tacos the way I normally do. Within just hours, Hayley came to my room between 12:30 and 1:00 AM, scratching herself to the point of trying to almost tear her skin off, as she cried.

When I turned on the light (main light in the room), what I saw scared me almost to death. She was red and hived from head to toe. Her lips, jaws, and throat were AT LEAST double their size. And her breathing was a bit off/erratic.

In a blind haze, Scott gave her Tylenol. So I got the Benadryl pills and popped one down her. Within thirty minutes she was doing better and she fell back to sleep in my bed.

After going to the doctor, we found out that she had her first Anaphylaxis episode. Her sensitivity to Soy (which she has had all her life) usually is to a point where she is (like) a Lactose Intolerant person. She can have small, minute amounts, and it won't hurt her.

Not anymore! That was the culprit. And she has now developed a hyper-sensitivity to it. As well as already being hyper-sensitive to shrimp (steamed and uncooked), Red Dye 40 (in red Popsicles only), mushrooms, Blue Cheese Dressing (and other fungi-based foods). As well as an allergy to Amoxicilline.

From now on, Hayley must carry an Epinephrine Pen (Eppy Pen) with her at all times. No matter where she goes. Including to her dad's house. And also we will all have to read ingredient labels more carefully, maybe sub a food out here and there for her to have if she can't have a certain food at a mealtime. And I will also have to ask places we go to eat at how they cook their food, how they serve it up (using separate utensils for each item, no cross-contaminating). And I will need to get allergy friendly recipes for all of us to have (as to not single her out as much as possible).

Why am I angry? Because it seems like no matter how I get ahead and my kids do well, life has to throw another monkey wrench in to the fire. I need a break, as do Hayley and Bryce who are now BOTH considered "Special Needs Kids". I'm tired and I'm tired of seeing my children go through all this crap. And there isn't a whole lot I can do for them.

Why am I scared? Because now, her allergies have gotten to a point, that they can POTENTIALLY KILL my child. I saw that with my own eyes the other night. And it scares me. I don't want to live without my kids. I'd be lost without a single one of them. And I am scared that her (bio) dad won't get his head out his ass and get educated, or will do what is needed if the need arises...That is injecting the shot in her leg (due to his fear of needles and shots).

Why am I confused? Because I know of NO ONE else in the family from either her father's side, or mine that have allergic reactions this bad, or to this many things. So I cannot pinpoint how or why she has these allergies, or the severity of reactions she suffers. We only share a couple of allergies. Bee stings (from any stinging bug) and the medicine.

As for the "why"...I just want to know WHY. Why my kids. What did any of them do to deserve the medical hardships all of them are dealing with. Skyler has that wart/immune system problem. Bryce has his Mental Disorder issues. Now, Hayley has her allergy issues. Why them? What for? Is someone above getting their jollies off on seeing my kids suffer, and I suffer along with them.

In a nutshell, a lot of changes are coming. And it's going to take time to figure it all out. I'm going to need help on this one. I've been thrown in to the lion's den and I'm sinking in the water without a paddle.

Organ/Tissue Donation....Distorting the MYTHS. Stating the FACTS.

Organ Donation. It is one of the most selfless, heroic acts a person can do for their fellow man. It gives another person (or a number of people) a new lease on life. A second chance that would not have come otherwise.

Since it's founding and inception, Organ, Tissue, and Eye Donation have made great strides, and had come a long way where medical technology is concerned.

Too bad public education and awareness have neither made the same wonderful strides since that time. There are so many myths, half truths and all-out lies when it comes to the topic of Organ/Tissue/Eye Donation. Some are classics that you have heard so many times, it's like second nature and doesn't even phase you when you hear the words blurted out unexpectedly.

The number one myth/lie I tend to hear the most is... "If I have an accident or other tragic medical emergency, and I am a Registered Organ Donor, then the EMS and the Emergency Department/hospital will NOT do EVERYTHING in their power to save my life, so that they can get my organs".

How very, VERY untrue that this statement is. All medical professionals are to do EVERYTHING in their means and within their power to save lives. No matter if the patient is an organ donor, or not. 

Another is.. "They might take my 'parts' when I am still legally alive, but look like I am dead".

Yet, this is another false statement. The Transplant Coordination Team must do various, and rigorous tests, including several EEG's, eye dilation test, and nerve sensation testing. After all of those are completed (multiple times) and each time nothing changes with negative results for EVERY time, then the patient is declared BRAIN DEAD (which is a legal form of death), and also their only means of having a heartbeat and breathing lungs is via the ventilator.

There were comments on a Fan Page I belong in regards to the possibility of New York mandating an "Opt-Out" Organ Donation System, where you are of "presumed consent to donate", unless you sign a paper/check a box for your State-issued Driver's License or ID that you wish to NOT be an Organ Donor. Basically, it is donation in reverse. Instead of VOLUNTARILY giving your organs, you will be PRESUMED to be a donor, unless you say otherwise.

Some of the comments were either of a selfish nature, or of not enough self-education in to the ins and outs of donating.

There are some people that don't want to donate being that they would only want to have their "parts" go to 'good people', not "killers, rapists" and others deemed less fitting of society.

There was one comment where an ADULT female would only donate (including her heart) ONLY to children. Sadly to say though, an adult (for the most part) cannot donate their organs to a child. Especially the heart and the lungs.

The only adult organs that are able to be cross-matched with children (TO MY KNOWLEDGE) is heart valves, and the liver (that can be cut in to 7 or 8 pieces and will regenerate to full size in the host body), skin, and the corneas (window of the eye).

Otherwise, there is no feasible ability to transplant adult organs in to children. Not unless the recipient's chest wall, kidney areas are of a compatible size of their donors.

In all real honesty, the last two excuses/explanations I gave as to why people wish to NOT donate their organs after their death are the two most selfish. Yes, children (especially infants and other small children) are at the greatest need of transplants. And they have the highest rate of donor shortage. But I do NOT fault the parents of deceased children. It is hard enough to lose your child, only to have to make a DRASTIC decision like that, at such a critical, emotional and bereaved time such as that.

But unlike the latter, I don't see where, in my mind and personal opinion, that there is a valid excuse to NOT donate (other than for religious practice/belief reasons). Especially when you put a "price" on donating. Such as stipulating that you only want a "good person or people" to have your organs. Or that as an adult only wants to give to children, which will make what you CAN give, very little.

Speaking of "setting a price" on Organ Donation. That is another misconception I caught on that Fan Page board. Some one (who rides motorcycles) said that he wouldn't want to donate, being that the DONOR family gets dumped with the cost of procurement, transporting of the organs and tissues, and for the RECIPIENT's  surger(ies).

Again, a FALSE statement/myth/accusation. Nothing, and I mean *NOTHING* is charged to the Donor or their family for *any* part of the Transplant process. That all befalls to the RECIPIENT. Believe me, I know. Just for my cornea (not including harvesting, transportation, or transplantation) cost me $3,000.00. ME!....Not my donor or their family. It is against FEDERAL law to charge a single dime to the Donor or their loved ones being a donor or for the donation process.

So, I hope that for those of you that are still deciding to become an Organ/Tissue Donor, or for those of you that never really knew much about the process have read this and have taken something away (positive) about the TRUTH of being a Donor.

I truly believe that if more people were to self-educate (through reputable organizations, websites and through personal experiences of recipients) of exactly how Donation works, there would be MILLIONS more people willing to sign up to be a HERO.

Come, join us at... The Transplant Experience Community (TEC) group on Facebook...

It's a safe haven. It is a place of support and understanding.

Thanks to Rex and Linda Maus, those of us that are facing a transplant, have had a transplant, were a Living Donor, or we are a family member of a Donor, have a place to run to. To call home.

That place is The Transplant Experience Community (TEC) group over on Facebook.

We have all various types of groups of transplant members there. Liver. Kidney. Bone. Heart. Lung. And even Cornea.

There are forum threads in the discussions area for each transplant group. There is a "Prayer Corner". We also provide a place to vent about the after affects of the surgeries.

As not only a member of this wonderful community....no, FAMILY, but as an Administrator in the group as well, I can personally say that I have never felt so close to "strangers" over a computer as I do with my fellow members in TEC.

We laugh together. We cry together. We share our hopes, our dreams, and our fears with one another. There is real love in the group. It illuminates all around within the group's walls.

If you or a loved one, be it a sister, brother, mother or father, a friend or co-worker is in need of a transplant, has had a transplant, or you wish to know more about Organ/Tissue Donation, please feel free to join us at The Transplant Experience Community. We are waiting for you with open and accepting arms.

The Transplant Experience TEC

The Transplant Experience Community (TEC) group on Facebook...

It's a safe haven. It is a place of support and understanding.

Thanks to Rex and Linda Maus, those of us that are facing a transplant, have had a transplant, were a Living Donor, or we are a family member of a Donor, have a place to run to. To call home.

That place is The Transplant Experience Community (TEC) group over on Facebook.

We have all various types of groups of transplant members there. Liver. Kidney. Bone. Heart. Lung. And even Cornea.

There are forum threads in the discussions area for each transplant group. There is a "Prayer Corner". We also provide a place to vent about the after affects of the surgeries.

As not only a member of this wonderful community....no, FAMILY, but as an Administrator in the group as well, I can personally say that I have never felt so close to "strangers" over a computer as I do with my fellow members in TEC.

We laugh together. We cry together. We share our hopes, our dreams, and our fears with one another. There is real love in the group. It illuminates all around within the group's walls.

If you or a loved one, be it a sister, brother, mother or father, a friend or co-worker is in need of a transplant, has had a transplant, or you wish to know more about Organ/Tissue Donation, please feel free to join us at The Transplant Experience Community. We are waiting for you with open and accepting arms.

The Transplant Experience TEC