A Grafted Life (Update #2)

Well, I had yet another checkup for the eye's cornea graft, where the last stitch that was still sewn in to the cornea had popped loose and went in to an infection.

After battling the infection, and in turn, an abscess that was right at the top edge of my transplant and the sclera (white portion of the eye), I am VERY happy to report that all of the medications had done their job, and the abscess was irradiated.

But I am also now left with a reminder. Of what I went through, and of what NOT to do again in the future.

Waiting. Too long. I waited a day or two too long to go in and the end result is a scar on my eye that will never go away, or even fade some. The stitch that popped had a nasty infection (that I'd mistaken as ALLERGIES), that once removed, had caused the abscess. The abscess appeared within 24 to 48 hours post-treatment to remove the infected stitch.

So, take it from me, do NOT wait. As soon as you see a red look to your eye, have any amount of pain or burning, GET IT CHECKED OUT. Especially if you have had the eye issues that I have had to endure, and most especially if you have received a Corneal Grafting Transplant for ANY kind of reason.

Do not let ANYTHING hurt that precious gift that you were able to receive. A second chance at sight.

Now, I am down to only using my OmniPred (Prednisone/steroid) drops four times a day for another two weeks, then only twice a day after that. And my Doxycycline pills once at night, to keep my Roseacea from flaring up and attacking my skin and my eyes.

Also, my latest eye chart test pegged me at 20/30 vision. Up from 20/40 last week at that checkup. And my doctor has said that out of 30 to 40 of his patients being Cornea Transplant Recipients, I am the ONLY patient in his care with my type of graft (keratoplasty) due to Perforation of Ocular Roseacea.

As for the rounding of my cornea, my doctor had said that we got the best rounding of the cornea as we possibly can. He said all along that it wasn't going to be perfect, but it's better than having it flat up against my pupil like a flat tabletop.

All in all, it was a good visit. I'm back on track. I've also learned a hard lesson about being a "tough old broad" (at almost 35 years young), and NOT doing what I should have done at the very first sign of trouble.

Like the Cornea Specialist had said, my transplant is a lifelong commitment and will hit a roadblock here and there. As will my Roseacea. And as long as I keep my follow-up appointments and tell when I even remotely think that there is a problem, then we can always stay ahead of the game and avoid other close calls of graft failure/rejection in the future.

Musical Monday..Bin Laden's Dead Edition

It's the news we are all waking up to in the United States of America. U.S. Navy Seals had raided and in that raid, KILLED Osama Bin Laden.

Don't believe me (which took me a confirmation news post, too!), then read THIS HERE.

So, for Musical Monday, I have three choice song pieces to share..Maybe four. Here's the first one. Guys, remove your hats, please!



And yes, I stand up and say, "God Bless The USA!", along with Al Greenwood.



Here's a real tear-jerker from Allen Jackson about 9/11..."Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)"?



This is a historical day in our generation's history. A heartless and tyrannical killer has been infiltrated and justly (for us in America) killed. An "eye for an eye".

Here's a classic, but I'd love to re-write just one word to make it say, "Ding-dong, the Bastard's dead".

Japan, the Bible, and the Apocalypse.. Oh my!

What a ride this past weekend has been. Between dealing with a death in the family, Japan being rocked (literally) to its knees and everything else in between, you would honestly think that Armageddon has finally started to rear its head.

First the initial earthquake, then the earthquake-provided tsunami, then aftershocks that are as big almost as the initial quake, now TWO Nuclear Power Plant explosions.

Thanks for a FaceBook friend posting the following, I can now (clearly) see the signs of impeding warning that is upon us globally.

"Sept 11 (NY), Jan 11 (Haiti), March 11 (Japan)...Luke 21:10-11 : "Nation will rise against nation, & kingdom against kingdom. There will be great earthquakes, famines, and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from Heaven.". Jesus says, For behold I come quickly, (so...ask yourself are we ready?)."

Until now, I didn't really pay much attention. But look at this pattern...Three sets of "11" on the day's dates. Plus one of them was 2001, another also was in 2011. Too many ones for my head to wrap around.

Makes what I had posted in my ParanorMel blog about the Horseman of the Apocalypse video seem more real than "shopped or cropped".

To read about the video from MSNBC that *supposedly* caught the ghostly figure of one of the Bible's Four Horsemen during a nighttime riot in Cairo, Egypt, CLICK HERE.

Pretty eerie stuff if you ask me. Sure I'm still on the proverbial fence as to the validity of the piece. If I wasn't in the technologically advanced age, then I say that that is some cause for worry.

On the flip side of the argument though, if indeed someone did in fact catch the horseman REALLY riding through, fulfilling Biblical Prophesy for our generation's time, then my friends, some of us are in some deep shit. And some of us are about to be called home.

One of my favorite novel series to read is the Left Behind books. It's a series by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. The books speak about topics of Christian dispensationalist End Times: pretribulation, premillennial, Christian eschatological viewpoint of the end of the world.

Pretty fascinating and capturing stuff, if you ask me.

Just too much is happening within the world on a global scale to NOT really take a deeper look in to why all of these "natural disasters" are taking place as well as other life-taking matters (terrorist attacks, wars, severe famine and pestilence). When you think about it all, and put one and one together, it honestly makes you see things in a much bigger picture being interwoven like a spider's web of destruction.

In Transplant News This Past Week...

This past week has been filled with appalling headlines. Both of which I'd known about earlier on. But one thing has become "official", whereas the other news of noting is still "in the works". In the end, both stories go against ethics of humanity and ethics within the Transplant world.

First of all, let's talk about the (ahem) 'lovely' Janet Brewer, Governor of Arizona and her cuts that SHE passed in to affect.

I'd written a piece about her and what her plans were a while back in regards to those that are waiting on organs and are served by the state's Medicaid Assistance. To read that post, CLICK HERE.

Now, these "Death Panels" have been officially put in to place. The cards are all laid out. And HUNDREDS of Arizona citizens that are waiting on a LIFE SAVING organ transplant will NOT live long enough to get it.

Why? Because the worst of the worst will be removed from the Waiting List, and are on Medicaid Assistance in the state of Arizona.

Governor Brewer signed in to affect, budget cuts to "save money" in her state. One of those slashes were to Medicaid. And primarily those waiting on an Organ Transplant.

To read the latest article on it, CLICK HERE. This is an older article, yes, But now Janet Brewer has set in to motion, a wave of death.

Now, as for the other article that has been capturing my attention, and has for some time now, as the story has been unfolding is the story of the two sisters from Mississippi who were sentenced to LIFE in prison for their crimes, but were RELEASED after serving sixteen years, on ONE condition... That one sister IS to donate a kidney to the other, who's own kidney is failing.

Apparently, the judge that ordered this "new sentence" is not very well versed in the rules, regulations, ethics and overall practices of Organ Donation. Because if the idiot was, he would KNOW that to FORCE anyone to be an organ donor (especially when it's NOT known at the time if indeed the sisters are an actual match) is considered unlawful and goes against EVERYTHING that UNOS (United Network for Organ Sharing) stands for and has laid out as the procedures to give and receive organs.

To read the article in reference to the criminal sisters who got off on a strange "technicality", CLICK HERE.

They were ALLOWED to move out of state (which normally is a no-no with Probation). But the transplant cannot take place until they BOTH lose weight. And hey, they get a PERSONAL TRAINER for that, and Gastric Bypass Surgery. Then of course, the Organ Transplant Surgery.

Like the doctors, I'd REALLY love to know WHO is going to pay for this? It's obvious that neither of them have medical insurance. And by my understanding of practice, the patient MUST have some kind of medical insurance to be approved as a Recipient.

Plus the Judge who ordered this weird release states that the transplant MUST happen within a year, or (hypothetically) they will be sent BACK to prison. WTF?? I say that they should have NEVER left on these types of terms.

Maybe I should have been imprisoned BEFORE my transplant that I had for my eye. Then all MY bills would be paid FOR me. Instead, I have pretty good insurance, but still stuck with on-going bills for the REST OF MY LIFE for the transplant its self and for the lifelong, on-going care I will need (and possibly ANOTHER Corneal Transplant down the road). Because apparently, it PAYS to be in prison these days, instead of a "punishment".

Arizona Congresswoman Gabby Giffords

Today, a tragedy had struck in Arizona. Arizona Congresswoman Gabby Giffords, along with 17 other people have been shot. One of them a 9-year-old girl. She died of her injuries, as did Federal Court Judge John Roll, who also was killed in the gun fire.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/09/us/politics/09giffords.html?hp

Giffords was at a Safeway Supermarket, holding a meeting with her constituents in regards to get their opinion on the topics that were at top list for when the House reconvened.

That's when shooter, twenty-two-year-old Jared Lee Loughner opened fire. One of the shots went in to Congresswoman Giffords' head. She was taken to the hospital and went immediately to surgery.

And almost as immediately, the political fighting began.

Now, the leftists are attacking the right. Vise versa. Most (including myself in all honesty) place blame on the Tea-Party and their influencing of "hatred" towards those that are not ultra-conservative like themselves for "turning" people in to killing machines.

Hello, people!! People, everyday citizens of our society (like the INNOCENT girl), as well as well-known politicos (like Judge Roll) are DEAD. And now, all people can do on news boards, FaceBook pages, Twitter tweets and other media-type and social-networks is duke it out with the opposing party?

Classless and tasteless, if you ask me. I can say that in my own mind what I THINK drove this shooter to the breaking point. And that is Illegal Immigration and possibly even the cut backs that are in the news in concern to Death Panels in their state (Medicaid coverage).

But to blame an entire Political Party for what ONE person did? That is just too far fetched and just outlandish.

Instead of fighting amongst yourselves in the Political Ring, why not instead extend your sympathy to the families that have now lost loved ones? And also extend empathy, encouragement and hope to those who are still alive, but are injured and may be fighting for their lives?

Like Giffords, who is out of surgery, in critical, but stable condition.

It's called being a HUMAN BEING, instead of a political fan club member.

25 Days of Christmas (Day 9, 10 & 11)

Yes, I have three days in one post to do for the "25 Days Of Christmas" series, seeing as I have been WAY too busy to get anything done this past week.

First up, Day 9...More Christmas Decorating; The Outdoors Edition. In pictures mind you.

                  The newest edition (up to that point) was the Skiing Santa.

                      Yes, his arms REALLY DO move as if he really is skiing!

                        Meet our newest and latest edition to the Yard Deco Family...18 Ft. Frosty the Snowman!


Now, for "Day 10"... "Christmas" (Holiday/Winter) Party Planning... Wanna Trade Places?


School. The place where young minds go to learn and grow socially. And a place for a Room Mother to dread planning parties for twenty-two children aging between five and six years old.

Yep, that time again to plan another party. We have to call it Winter Holiday party of course, seeing we HAVE TO BE all PC about it.

And let me tell ya right here and now, I have some of the BEST parents to work with this year. In the three years since moving to this school and taking responsibility as "Head Parent" in the classrooms of my kids, I have NEVER seen as much devotion to and willingness to help and support myself and the kids in the class as I have in Skyler's Kindergarten classroom.

We're going to have craft time, Christmas music, all kinds of goodies to eat, pass out Christmas cards and presents, and goody bags filled with candy and trinkets. These kids are going to have a WONDERFUL time. I'd say that this will be  one of the best parties I have ever put together or have seen for a classroom to have.


Last, but most certainly NOT least..."Day 11", A TRUE Christmas Miracle.


As many of my FaceBook Friends know, we in our area have been passing around and getting other friends from all over the USA to share an Amber Alert about 12-year-old Brittney Smith. Her mother was found dead in their home, and that the live-in boyfriend who is 32, took Brittney and ran off.

For a week, there has been a nation-wide manhunt for Jeff Easley and his hostage, Brittney. They were last seen on a WalMart video surveillance tape leaving the store with a ton of groceries and a tent that was purchased with Tina Smith's (mom) credit card.

Last night, it was reported that Brittney Smith was FOUND, as was Jeff Easley. Best of all, she is ALIVE and to the furthest of knowing, doing well and doesn't look to be injured. They were spotted by a store clerk over 2,700 miles away from here, in San Francisco.

Not many children are lucky to be found alive and unharmed. Being just two weeks shy of Christmas, this is truly a Christmas Miracle.

Welcome home, Brittney! It's good that you can be home and be here for your mother's funeral. I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing your brother was horrible enough.

My thoughts and prayers are with Brittney and her grandmother, who apparently will be the one taking her in, after the loss of HER only child.













                       

Media Reaction Over Compassion Regarding Grieving Children

As many of my "older" readers know, my mother passed away when I was twelve years old. She was forty-three years young, but suffered some health problems. In the end, the side effects of a massive stroke took her life.

I'd gone almost daily to either the hospital or to the Rehab Center/Nursing Home to sit with her, talk (really loud seeing as the hearing loss was great and due to the stroke). All the while, I KNEW deep within two things.

One, she was never going to come home the same way again.

Two, she wanted to die. And she WAS dying. Slowly and for the most part, painfully.

No child even remotely fathoms the thought of their parents' mortality. Not for a single second. Especially in early and middle childhood. To them, his or her parents are immortal. They are of Superhero status.

When a young child, at an age of understanding experiences the realities of life and death, usually it is not with the loss of a parent. It is difficult for them. But not totally agonizing.

But I ask you to sit where you are, as you are reading this right now, IMAGINE yourself being a child of twelve years of age.

Now, FEEL the emotions within from realizing that your mother or your father has passed away. You are shell shocked and in complete denial, because parents DON'T die.

Once shock wears off, look at your face when you come to realize that what you were told is in fact true. Suddenly, you crumble in to a heap of longing, despair, unimaginable heart ache and an insurmountable amount of grief as you cry out in longing for your mother or your father to come back. That you want them and you need them, as you BEG for what is true to not be.

That was me. In 1989 on October 29th. Sitting in the living room of the home that I had grown up in. As my father told me, "Missy, remember when I said to 'expect the unexpected' a few weeks ago?", I got hot and flushed in my face, knowing but not wanting to hear the next few words that FOREVER changed my life. "It happened early this morning. Your mom is gone."

All I could do, as people from my neighborhood stood there as a means of comfort was stare at my father, shaking my head and pleading for it to not be true. Finally it hit that what he said was not a lie, no matter how many times I verbally fought it with him.

In the days and weeks that had followed, amidst all the condolences and the "I'm sorry for your loss" people, I wanted nothing to really do with the outside world. I was grieving. Longing for someone that I will never see, speak to, or touch again.

It was a time of my wanting to isolate from the world and the people within. For me and also for my dad, our pain, sorrow and grief were of a private nature.

We needed the time together, as well as alone to deal with our thoughts, our feelings and the realities of what had happened to us.

This is why I am personally quite angry, and tired of how the Media hounds and preys upon children of big name politicos and celebrities in the midst of their loss.

Take for instance, Michael Jackson's children. For WEEKS, those children were followed around, having pictures taken of them, having news cameras in their faces. Even at their father's funeral! Those poor kids could not once get away and grieve and mourn their dad in private.

Now sadly, the media hounds have turned their attention towards the children of Elizabeth Edwards, who had lost her battle with Breast Cancer on Tuesday, surrounded in the PRIVACY of her home with her children (ages five and twelve), as well as former Presidential hopeful and former husband John Edwards, and other close family and friends.

It SHOULD HAVE stayed that way. Especially for those children. No one, no matter if it was a friend or not, should NOT have brought those children's grieving to the media's spotlight.

Depending on the type of service that is held for the late Mrs. Edwards, those poor kids will be forced to fall victim to the Media, having cameras and reporters, and magazine and news paper journalists shoved in their faces. Not once being able to privately hurt and long for their mother.

It will not be an easy road for these kids. It's going to be long, hard and painful. Especially since they are still so young.

I can safely say that even though twenty-one years have passed and life has gone on since my mother's death, at times, it is STILL hard to deal with. Her birthday. Holidays like Christmas, especially since having my own children. Mother's Day.

No child should suffer a loss as great as these kids have. But a child should still be allowed to be a child. Especially during the grieving process, which could take years. They shouldn't have to be the Media's 'Top Story' of the day.

"Where Were You On That September Day?"

If you recognize that line that I used for the title of this post, then you know which song it is from and what it symbolizes. September 11, 2001 will remain in many a heart and memory for generations to come.

Not for it's year in music or the Emmy that Television shows had won. Or the hot Summer Flicks that Hollywood spun out that year.

It will be remembered as one of the most prolific tragedies of our time. Of our generation, and of the Twentieth Century. September 11th is forever known as '9-11'.

That was the day that it did indeed seem that the world had stopped turning. Millions in America, and billions around the world had frozen in place as they had witnessed first hand, or had seen the first taped images of the root cause of the first Trade Center Tower being on fire, seeing as the second plane crashed in to the other tower as the first was being filmed on live TV, as it was on fire and had people JUMPING OFF the building, as to escape being burned alive.

Do you remember what you were doing at that moment in time? Be it in pieces, or in minute detail. I certainly do. All the way down to calling my husband at work, and listening to his description of how the customers and his co-workers reacted to the news.

When the news started breaking, they had said in past-tense that a plane hit the WTC Tower. As Diane Sawyer and Charlie Gibson from Good Morning America (back in those days) were trying to get more on the story, thinking a bomb (not a plane) had gone off, right behind them, on the back screen, in a live shot, the other plane came in at what seemed to be an odd angle.

Suddenly, as I sat there, engrossed and waiting for a more defined answer to what happened, the answer became horrifically known to me and millions of others in the nation as to what REALLY happened.

Sitting there, holding Bryce in my arms (he was three months old then, and Hayley was at school for her (then) developmental delays), I watched as the other plane hit and just blew up before my very eyes.

Suddenly, I began to cry and I notably held Bryce a little tighter as he sat upon my lap, oblivious to what was unfolding before him. Then the thought swept in to my mind, and I could hear myself say "What kind of world have I truly brought my children in to? Is this what they have to look forward to in their future? What did we as a nation do, to deserve this kind of terroristic-type act (not knowing yet that it INDEED WAS a terrorist attack upon out nation)?".

I'd sat there, frozen and silent. It wasn't until I came out of the 'trance' that I realized that I just witnessed a plane full of people, and people within that tower being murdered. The shock to see what I had, left me dazed.

After I got myself together, I called my husband at work (then, we didn't have cells, so I had to call the store) and I asked if they had heard. He'd said yes, as did all of the customers and fellow employees, being that they announced it, and then had a moment of silence...Customers left in droves to get home, or were on frantic calls right in the aisles, Scott said, making sure their loved ones in NY and that were to be on flights that morning were okay.

Just think, one week prior, I was flying home from Reno, Nevada, after a week's stay due to my grandmother (Nana, who's ashes I wrote about finally getting) had passed away. Even then, on the flight home, something seemed...'off'. But I could never place what it was. I just felt very uneasy. And I had never felt that way before when it came to flying.

Maybe I was sensing the tragedy that was about to unfold. But I just didn't "get it". The entire trip home felt 'weird'. Who knows.

Maybe there were a couple of those terrorists on board with me, getting "practice flights" or going to their final destination via my route to go home. This I will never, ever know for sure. All I know is that I knew that there was something big coming. I could feel it. But I couldn't pinpoint what it was. That feeling stayed with me...

All the way home on my flight upon American Airlines.

*The following has real footage from news tapes included in to this song's video.*

May we never forget.

Death Penalty. YOUR thoughts.

We all have to die at some point. It is a given. Some will be old and have lived a good life. Some will fall gravely ill and pass young. Those of any age can be killed in a vehicle accident. And there are some that will be murdered. And some will be put to death as punishment for taking another human's life.

Today, we are going to talk about the latter. Executions and Death Row. Now, before you go off on a tangent and yell at me that God commands us to not kill and that executions are wrong and/or immoral, I urge you to READ THIS FIRST before commenting right off the bat.

Also, be sure to read PART 2 OF THIS WHOLE STORY.

This woman put a hit out for someone that she was supposed to have loved and his son, who of course thought she loved him like he was her own flesh and blood.

Instead, she loved the impending Life Insurance Policy payout more and had two men break in to their home and kill the son, first. Then, as her husband was BEGGING for mercy, they then shot him, too.

The reason that Teresa Lewis is sitting on Death Row, awaiting her fate, twenty days from now is because she put this whole ordeal in motion. She was as guilty as those that pulled the trigger.

True, those two men received life sentences. But her part was much more heinous. She PAID to have her husband and his boy killed. Not because she was in harm's way, was being abused or anything of the like. But for the money.

Now she is begging that her life be spared, as are her attorneys and anti-death penalty activists, and they all are asking the judge show this woman 'mercy'?? WHAT?!?!

Where was 'mercy' when her step-son and her husband pleaded and begged to not be hurt or killed, and said that the men could have ANYTHING they wanted? It wasn't there that day. Mercy for those two men were nowhere in sight.

She has had to have been segregated from the common prison population for seven YEARS. WHY? And with that said, how will she be of "help" to the other female inmates, as to use her faith to help others? You cannot do that when you are NOT AROUND other inmates!! Duh.

Yes, I do support the Death Penalty. Many who are there, deserve it. If it is indeed proven that they had the means, the motive and the forethought to take a fellow human's life, as to gain from it monetarily (or any other means of ganing something materialistic in nature), or even just to kill someone, then yes, serve them death. On a silver platter.

If it was purely for self-defense and/or to protect your children, then that is a different matter. At least you are not killing someone just for the sake of killing and getting a rush (or something materialistic).

And yes, this woman, Teresa Lewis, deserves the ultimate punishment. If she wasn't so callous, money-hungry and devious, then maybe, just MAYBE, Julian and CJ Lewis would still be alive and well today.

Those that know her closely have even stated that she is a con-artist and has even fooled a couple of pastors (in months/years before this tragedy) in to thinking that she was an upstanding citizen of the community, and a good Christian woman.

Come to realize later, many that knew her, feel that she had a hand in the car wreck that took her husband's other son, almost to the day of his death, a year before. That son had apparently had a good sized Life Insurance Policy as well.

Seven years is a long time. A long time of being away from the main prison populous, sitting in Segregation. And a long time of my husband's and my tax dollars going to that prison to house, feed and clothe a murderess, who is a classic example of a Black Widow wife.

Not all killings deserve the Death Penalty. But, ones like this do. An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. She reaped what she sowed. And for her, it ended with a hefty price.

True, killing her will not bring back two men that were dearly loved by their daughter and sister. But it will bring justice to two men that still deserved better than to be wasted for money.

More Information Sheds New & Disturbing Light On Killer & Her Victim.

All I can say is this....DISGUSTING!

How can ANYONE, be it a man or a *woman* do such horrific and horrendous things to a child?

Many people have already heard the story of the former Sunday School Teacher, Melissa Huckaby. She raped, tortured, and killed eight-year-old Sandra Cantu. Only to stuff the girl's lifeless body in to a suitcase and throw her in to an irrigation pond.

Now, Melissa Huckaby is trying her best to try and seemingly "get out of" and is trying to explain away her actions.

Of course, she is using the classic "I was raped as a child" and the "I had a rough childhood" excuses to try and gain sympathy.

To read more just click HERE.

I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy, nor compassion for this woman. What she had done to Sandra, who was her daughter's friend and playmate, and what she did AFTER killing the child out of guilt was nothing but showing how calculated and callous the woman TRULY is.

This is one case of Prison Without Possibility Of Parole I say I *do* like. Normally, I would say death penalty. But for some reason, I get more satisfaction in knowing that Ms. Huckaby will be forced to sit and think for the rest of her days, of the things she did to that poor, INNOCENT girl and knowing the guilt will rot her inside more so than the rotting inside a prison cell.

"Macabre", in my eyes doesn't even begin to describe the acts of torture this woman had performed against Sandra. Melissa Huckaby by all counts ranks right up there with the devil himself when it comes to evilness.

Boy Sent Back To Homeland ALONE, USA Mom Couldn't Handle Him.

Being a mother is a number one priority in my life. Especially being that my three children are children that the "medical professionals" said I would never have. I had birth defects that if I tried to carry a baby, my body would have gone against me so-to-speak and abort the baby. Plus, I have had a severe case of Ovarian Cystitis since I was a teenager. That too was a factor, being that even then, the cysts that have ravaged my ovaries were scarring them, making it less possible to be fertile.

But, apparently, like in the years before, I defied the odds and surprised the medical community by getting pregnant with my first baby. Sadly, that was an Ectopic, caught in the ovary (of all things). A year later, I had my first born, who is now ten. Seventeen months later, followed her little brother, who will be nine tomorrow.

In 2003, we were pregnant with what was to be our last baby. But it had died in the womb and never fully miscarried. But once more, a year later our youngest daughter was born. She is now five.

After losing two children, having almost lost one (the youngest at weeks eight and twelve of pregnancy, plus severe pre-term labor), I must say that I know that I'm extremely fortunate and blessed to have these three in my life. I would go to the ends of the earth for them....I would give my life for them. I am their best advocate and defender.

My middle son, as many of my readers know, is disabled with several mental disorders. I won't list them here, but you can find them in some of my previous posts. We have been through some tough times, he and I. Including me having to hospitalize him in a Pediatric Psychiatric Ward being that he was severely Manic, impulse-driven, running away to a dangerous area repeatedly and needed major medication adjustment. We have cried together as we both faced fears of knowing he just threatened to KILL ME over simple little things....Yes, it has gotten that severe in his last five years of dealing with Mental Illness.

So, with all of that said, I find it outrageously appalling to see an article about a single, adoptive mother, who adopted her seven-year-old son from Russia, out of one of the orphanages, only to SEND HIM BACK, alone! Yes folks, she sent him back ALONE on an overseas flight back to Russia, with a note attached to him stating (in part), "After giving my best to this child, I am sorry to say that for the safety of my family, friends, and myself, I no longer wish to parent this child."

Where did this woman give her "best" to her son? If she gave her best to him, then she would STILL have him, love him, and get him all of the possible psychological care available. She only got that for HERSELF to see what she could do for him and get advice. Not to truly help him. Not once did she get an evaluation for services done on her son. And she freely admitted to that!

Obviously, she has NO business being a "mother". Adoptive or biological. What mother in their right mind would throw away their child in that manner? She did not even try to get help for the boy.

Read the article here... http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100410/ap_on_re_us/us_russia_adopted_boy

Sure, this woman saw a psychologist, but NEVER took him in to get evaluated and to receive help for his mental problems, that most likely stemmed from his living conditions and trauma in his life back in Russia.

It's certainly apparent that there was an extreme lack of common sense, patience and LOVE on this woman's part. If she REALLY wanted to be a mother, she would have not have sent that little boy back to his native homeland alone on a plane. She instead would have done EVERYTHING possible to help him first, before even fathoming the thought of washing her hands of him.

What my son has displayed over the last five years, I have noted that this little Russian boy has also done or attempted to do. He needs serious help and UNCONDITIONAL love.

I'm hoping that the adoption was finalized here in the States, and that this young man is a citizen of the USA. Then, she will have to get him back and make a difficult choice. One, take him back in and MOTHER him (as in get him HELP in the proper manner and LOVE him as a mother should). Or two, place her son in to a Foster Home situation, give up all parental rights to the child, and let a loving family who WILL help him adopt this troubled boy.

There are days where my nerves have been tested BEYOND their limits and frayed. I hate that my son (who is NOT a bad child) feels like the whole world is against him. That his own mind and body are against him. And he always tells me that he doesn't want to be bad. We are doing all we can in helping him in this fight for a "normal" life.

Yes, my son's mental disability affects the family as a whole. It impedes on his socialization and behavioral skills. He has very few friends. But they are ones that understand (yes kids in his age group CAN understand and do accept children that are not always "like them") that he is just "one of the guys".

I've had people stare at me and him as he has a Manic Episode or a Sensory Issue overload. He can be a real terror in those times. And yes, I have in the past, feared for my life, being that my small son threatened my life, with a HAMMER or a BUTCHER KNIFE in his hand, describing how he is going to kill me "until I'm dead". He has beaten his little sister in the past (mainly pushing her in to a piece of furniture, then slapping her). He has threatened to harm and even kill his big sister.

But never, EVER have I thought of kicking my son to the proverbial curb. Yes, I have thought of placing him in a group home in the past, temporarily. But never to just tell the state to take him and place him permanently somewhere else. I refuse to throw my child (or ANY of the three) away because life with them has becaome extremely difficult.

All I can hope is that this little boy from Russia, who only needed/wanted a LOVING home, with a LOVING family, will find a "forever family" that will take him in and get him all the help that he requires to work through the mental issues that plague him. No child (that has a disability of ANY kind) should be thrown away like a piece of bad meat. Yes, disabled children require more care and attention. But every one of those extra seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and years is more than well worth it as their parent.

Too bad his "mother" didn't see it that way....

Looking Up! (Update re: Cornea/Eye Appointment today)

Well, for the first time since my initial Corneal Transplant Surgery, something has finally gone RIGHT!

After looking at the eye and getting a good peek in to the back of it (for the first time), I got the all clear. My rejection REVERSED!!!!

For three tedious and daunting weeks, my Pred-Forte and I once again became closer friends than I care to admit to. Now I'm back down to four times a day on that, my Doxycycline (oral) medicine twice a day, and my lubricant drops as needed (usually no more than three times in a day).

What an improvement in just three weeks! And even better news?....

Even though he couldn't do it this time, being that I am just now getting out of rejection, I'm looking forward to finally getting SOME of the 15 stitches removed at next month's visit. He said that it's chancing it now to start removal. But when he does, it will be between 3 and 5 of them getting cut out.

If you are interested in this topic, please feel free to leave me QUESTIONS HERE in the comments area. I will try my best to answer them or at least find the info and their locations and work it all in to a separate post on the topic of Corneal Transplantation.

With my stitches loosening, it is now making the Cornea round like it should be, not flat like a table top. My peripheral vision is now back, thanks to the Cornea not being so tight against my pupil. The biggest nuisance now is the fact that my upper eyelid "sticks" to my eyeball. When it tries to "peel off", the air that got trapped releases and my eye "pops". It doesn't hurt. Just feels REALLY weird.

But at least now I can look UP!